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Immoral Relationships (Page 5)

punjabi#1 IF-Dazzler
punjabi#1
punjabi#1

Joined: 06 June 2006
Posts: 3378

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by .Doe.

Originally posted by -pixie-

Originally posted by .Doe.

I think the TS called it "immoral" based on the traditions as explained by a member (Angelic_J) in few of their posts. According to the post, people in small villages, when of the same age, are treated as brothers & sisters. That is their way of thinking. So, going by that, the relationship is immoral because a romantic relationship between a bro & a sis is not acceptable.

P.S: This is not my view. I just said this based on a post about traditions.

IMO, Morality is personal and it cannot be enforced by society. While we may internalize many societal norms as moral or immoral, growing up...at the end of the day its your internal compass that keeps you on track and not what people around you say. Marriage between first cousins is allowed in many communities- would all those relations then become immoral? Like I said its very subjective- and its decision that the two people involved should make.


Like I said, it isn't my view. I was just trying to find a reason behind TS calling his/her topic "Immoral relationships". Maybe, it's his/her perspective, who knows? LOL

I guess I wrote immoral because i can't imagine hurting my parents. It is immoral based on punjabi culture and parents point of view. 

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MagixX

Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
Summer3
Summer3

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44321

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
Yes general guideline: never hurt parents. In this case I think they know their daughter well enough.

But there could be exceptions and such matters should be discussed too. If the child really wants something very badly and has good reasons the parents will normally consider it, but no blackmailing of parents.
blue-ice. IF-Addictz
blue-ice.
blue-ice.

Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 55075

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by punjabi#1

Originally posted by .Doe.

Originally posted by -pixie-

Originally posted by .Doe.

I think the TS called it "immoral" based on the traditions as explained by a member (Angelic_J) in few of their posts. According to the post, people in small villages, when of the same age, are treated as brothers & sisters. That is their way of thinking. So, going by that, the relationship is immoral because a romantic relationship between a bro & a sis is not acceptable.

P.S: This is not my view. I just said this based on a post about traditions.

IMO, Morality is personal and it cannot be enforced by society. While we may internalize many societal norms as moral or immoral, growing up...at the end of the day its your internal compass that keeps you on track and not what people around you say. Marriage between first cousins is allowed in many communities- would all those relations then become immoral? Like I said its very subjective- and its decision that the two people involved should make.


Like I said, it isn't my view. I was just trying to find a reason behind TS calling his/her topic "Immoral relationships". Maybe, it's his/her perspective, who knows? LOL

I guess I wrote immoral because i can't imagine hurting my parents. It is immoral based on punjabi culture and parents point of view. 


Are u the girl in the story??
punjabi#1 IF-Dazzler
punjabi#1
punjabi#1

Joined: 06 June 2006
Posts: 3378

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 5:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by punjabi#1

Originally posted by .Doe.

Originally posted by -pixie-

Originally posted by .Doe.

I think the TS called it "immoral" based on the traditions as explained by a member (Angelic_J) in few of their posts. According to the post, people in small villages, when of the same age, are treated as brothers & sisters. That is their way of thinking. So, going by that, the relationship is immoral because a romantic relationship between a bro & a sis is not acceptable.

P.S: This is not my view. I just said this based on a post about traditions.

IMO, Morality is personal and it cannot be enforced by society. While we may internalize many societal norms as moral or immoral, growing up...at the end of the day its your internal compass that keeps you on track and not what people around you say. Marriage between first cousins is allowed in many communities- would all those relations then become immoral? Like I said its very subjective- and its decision that the two people involved should make.


Like I said, it isn't my view. I was just trying to find a reason behind TS calling his/her topic "Immoral relationships". Maybe, it's his/her perspective, who knows? LOL

I guess I wrote immoral because i can't imagine hurting my parents. It is immoral based on punjabi culture and parents point of view. 


Are u the girl in the story??

na, its a close friend of mine. I am just trying to understand what she is going through, i guess and how to help her...advice her.

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blue-ice.

Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44321

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 6:55pm | IP Logged
I think it is the guy that needs more adviceLOL
But seek advice from professionals, most here are just spammers having fun.

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

MagixXBazingaablue-ice.

Rehanism IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 3492

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angelic_J

Just because something does not make sense to me does not mean it doesn't make sense to someone else. We all have our different beliefs and traditions we personally follow. And what gives anyone the right to judge someone else's beliefs/traditions? Furthermore, these villages we are talking about are very small in population and size and of course then you have the "caste" system placed in there so only people belonging to the same caste mingle with each other although they all do come together if the need be. Plus this tradition of not marrying someone from the same village would only seem impractical if there was a dearth of popluation to choose your respective partner fromLOL

I think any belief or tradition which has no factual or coherent basis, is ought to be broken by those who see the flaws in them. If we allow them to continue, we won't be 'respecting their beliefs'. We would be actually supporting something, which even we know is wrong. The decision of right and wrong must be made with one's own intellect and not on the basis of some outdated tradition.

As far marrying cousins, Arjun and Subhadra were second cousins, yet Krishna Himself helped them to elope against the will of their families.

 
Regarding the couple in question, they MAYBE related to each other as I stated before. They may share the same grandfather or great grandfather. But I can't say for sure because I don't want to judge. If anything, they are the ones judging their parents and elders. The TM hasn't stated the parents refused their proposal which means they never went to their parents regarding their relationship in the first place. So from what I comprehend, the parents are kept in the dark about the romantic relationship the couple share.
 
Furthermore, from what I personally know being from the same village means you are to consider others your age/generation as your brother and sister no matter what. This is how things have always been. The villagers treat each other as if they are all part of an extended family thus the question of marrying within the family is not even an option.

By that logic, every human being came from same ancestors so everybody is brother and sister. As I said, if this is how things have always been then someone needs to pick up the baton and change this system. Just because some irrelevant and illogical faith is practiced, it doesn't mean we have to oblige with it or let it continue.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

blue-ice.

blue-ice. IF-Addictz
blue-ice.
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Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 55075

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Summer3

I think it is the guy that needs more adviceLOL
But seek advice from professionals, most here are just spammers having fun.


I think so too Summerji...I feel for the boy...
Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
Summer3
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Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44321

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by Summer3

I think it is the guy that needs more adviceLOL
But seek advice from professionals, most here are just spammers having fun.


I think so too Summerji...I feel for the boy...
 
 
Yes hope the boy is not suicidal.
 
The girl hardly gives a hoot
The guy only gets the bootLOL

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

blue-ice.

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