However, Ananya's presence cheered me up and I enjoyed spending time with her. The little angel makes me forget my pain and makes me smile.
Naitik convinced me to visit my parental home the next day. It really touches me to see how much effort Naitik is putting into cheering me up and helping me recover from the tragedy. Every time, I feel sad he keeps reminding me that this is not the end and just an obstacle, and that we will have a bright future ahead. He encourages me to have faith in myself. I feel blessed to have a caring husband like him. He did not even attend the naming ceremony of his friend's son, as he felt that I would get upset but I convinced him to go. However, I later found out that Naitik too is equally affected by the loss of our baby and it is not just me who is feeling this pain. It hurts me to see Naitik suffering in silence, hiding his emotions and overlooking his pain, just to make me smile again.
Later, I decided to accompany Varsha to the hospital for Ananya's vaccination as this would give me the opportunity to spend more time with her. I was happy that Ananya did not cry while getting vaccinated as I kept her busy by talking to her constantly. This made me really happy and assured me that I will make a good mother in the future.
Also this week, everyone at home was very excited about celebrating Gangaur which is a festival celebrated in honour of lord Shiva and goddess Gauri. All of us had a good time singing, dancing and bonding with family and friends. Naitik and I also shared some romantic moments together which were truly memorable. As per the tradition, I prepared to fast for Naitik but Gayatri Ma forbade me from doing so. Naitik came to my rescue once again and convinced Ma to allow me to fast.
Rituraj's wife, Bindiya, and her mother arrived at our house during the celebrations. At first, everyone was happy to see them but when they realized she is pregnant, they were worried about how I would feel. I assured Naitik that I was fine and can look after Bindiya myself, but I have to confess that deep down in my heart, I did feel sad as her pregnancy and constant talk about babies and motherhood brought back memories of my pregnancy and my dreams for my child.
Although, I love spending time with Ananya, I have noticed that Varsha has begun to find faults with almost everything I do, even saying that I can't look after her properly. I understand that I may not be able to look after her as well as Varsha but her behavior is hurtful. I am sure Varsha is not doing it intentionally but I am confused if I should let Varsha know about my feelings. She has been my best friend for years and I don't want anything to ruin our relationship.
What do you feel? Do let me know at email@example.com
fan comments --
Rashmi Parekh- Hi Akshara, I think you and Naitik just rock in YRKKH. I feel you should now concentrate on Naitik and your family and not get too attached to Ananya as it will only remind you of your loss. So keep smiling and give some attention to your husband as he also feels this loss but cant express it.
Akshara- Thanks for writing to me Rashmi. You are right and I know that Naitik is as hurt as me about my miscarriage. It was a huge shock for the entire family. Though, I disagree with the next point as spending time with Ananya makes me forget my loss and I feel like she is my own daughter. However thanks for the advice, I will think about it.
Dwipan Patel- Hi Akshara. I am watching your serial Yeh Rishtaa Kya Kehlata Hai so much. I am the fan of you and of your serial more than any other serial. Your serial is the best than any other one as it promotes Indian culture and you are the best daughter-in-law than any other one and your serial promotes Indian culture and family life. I have showed some of the episodes of your serial to my English friends to make them become aware of Indian culture. I am extremely sorry to hear what happened to you in the serial and it was the mistake of the God. Why should it happen to someone like you who is angel, goddess and princess.
Akshara- Hi Dwipan, thanks for the compliments and praise. I am glad you love Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai so much and so do your English friends. Sometimes even I feel that God has been unfair to me but no one cant fight destiny now matter how much it hurts. Take care and keep writing in.
Ansa Anam- Hi hina di. Im really upset from you.di I sent u a lot of messages but didn't get any reply. I really wait for your reply. Please reply me.
Akshara- Hi Ansa. I hope you are happy that I replied to you this time. Forget your anger and smile.
Tanmayee- I am Tanmayee I live in Nasik .I like u Very Much. I am your big fan. I watch YRKKH everyday. Dont cry. I can't watch u crying. For your fan please don't cry. So please keep smiling it suits on you.
Akshara- Hi Tanmayee. Its good to hear from you. Your mail has definitely brought a smile on my face.
Tasnia Hoque- Dear Akshara, Radhe Krishna. I was very sorry to hear about your miscarriage! I hope you and Naitik get over it soon. God willing, you will be pregnant again, and the house will be once more lively. Take care of yourself.
Akshara- Hi Tasnia. Thanks for being with us during this tough time. God willing I will be pregnant again and have my bundle of joy in my arms soon. You too take care.