Posted: 21 May 2011 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by alanta
Is deeyarvattu considered as a real marriage or a custom conducted before the real marriage?
coz I think in hindu marriages saath pheras, mangalsuthra,sindoor etc are considered as the important rituls where as in deyarvattu all these are seemed to be replaced by a pair of moujris. Is that possible? How the importance of saath pheras in which they make certain oaths are compensated here? I dont know anything about this but wanted to know , plz help.
Deeyarvattu is spelt and pronounced differently in parts of Rajasthan and Gujarath. I have heard Deyarbattu, Deyarattu etc...In cultural Anthropology, you will find that it is a practice common to many traditional communities in the world. the practice is referred to as "Levirate" . In India in most communities Levirate is marriage to the unmarried younger brother. You can find descriptions of these customs and rituals in Anthropology books about tribes in India. The major purpose of the ritual was to provide future security to a widow and her children in family where she was not connected by any other kinship ties such as lineage or blood.
Keep in mind while mainstream Hindus India practice some Rig Vedic Hindu rituals, these have been modified by several communities. The walk around the fire is considered a sacrament and can be supposedly done only once because it represents the pure union of souls across several life times. However depending on which tribe/community you are looking at there can be different rules of divorce, separation, elopment and remarriage. Marriage was a relationship defined by friendship between two people - the rigvedic vows around the fire are not eternal declarations of passionate love but are vows of pure, respectful friendship - passionate love and youthful love are bonuses when they come with those vows.
Remarriage has always had very simple ceremonies attached to it. I have seen divorce and remarriage in rural communities in India and they are very simple rituals enacted in front of the village elders (panchayat) and the entire village. Remarriage, divorce and eloping are not taken lightly - remarriage and divorces are decisions made by the elders when the situation at hand asks for it. When Motaba says that as the family mukhiya and the village sarpanch he wants to break the Deeyarvattu, he was actually within his full rights as a family and village elder ...
The position of women is very bad in some communities, but in many rural agricultural communities women are also respected and considered a valuable resource that can work in the fields or homestead. Many of these communities pay a bride price not a dowry.
Traditionally an Indian marriage has nurtured deep pragmatic ties between two families - something that Kings and Traders used to their advantage when forming political and trade alliances. Family ties were more important than passion and 'true love' when keeping a community together - hence the emphasis on "arranged marriages" decided by family elders. The curious juxtaposition of the postcolonial concepts of love and traditional definitions of marriage in India give us these very interesting serials on Indian TV (granted that they maybe of varying quality and wildly differing imaginary concepts - e.g., I am very perplexed by Dehraduni vampire serial where everyone seems to be biting everyone else
India is an extremely heterogenous country and one single ritual does not fit everybody. There are some communities in India that still practice polygamy and/or polyandry. Keep in mind that even the Mahabharata you have the pandavas living in a poly-amorous situation...
Edited by trifolia - 21 May 2011 at 9:53am