Posted:
12 years ago
Akanksha,
I was waiting eagerly for this update. 😳
chapter Seven
A voice sounded above my head. I froze but forced myself to
keep working. No one was here. This was how I needed to handle it. Hear the
voices, see the visions and ignore them. I loved how you add a poignant note whilst layering a little humour too, as is Pia's style. Excellently done!⭐️
I stared at the door. It looked like an ordinary closet. If it
was really my imagination, what is stopping me from opening it? I took a step toward
it. Just excellently expounded! I love how her reasoning corners itself into that curve she is unable to bend out of. Just delightful! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
''The door is locked and I'm leaving.'' I muttered to thin
air once again and turned around. For the second time that day, all I could do
was stare. I stumbled back in half surprise and half fear and would have fallen
if the door wasn't there. Abhay made no move to catch me, just stood there,
hands in his pockets. I loved, JUST LOVED, this moment. The detailing is wonderful. @blue I loved that nuance. A shock that doesn't cause us to close our eyes BUT rather to become fixated by that which caused them to open wider! Wonderful. @red Beautifully written. @green. I loved this detailing. It isn't just that he makes no attempt to catch her BUT that the whole situation doesn't stir any movement in him. I loved that end hand in pockets adding to that impact of nonchalance. Just beautifully done!
with a window small enough to look through but not large enough to
escape. 😆 Excellent detailing that I love!
There was a chair in front of me, but no one was sitting on it. Instead,
there was a thing like a radio. A voice spoke through it. It asked me questions
like how I was eating, what I thought of the others, and how I felt about being
here. It paused after my every answer, as if relaying an answer to someone. This was an inspired piece of plotting. Adding to that eerie feel whilst provoking that question is this normal? I mean if they consider this type of communication normal and good THEN why would Pia wish them to class them as normal. Excellently done!
He looked happy. How could he be happy here? Despite your heeding, 😆 I am enjoying the comparisons of Kabir and Abhay.
The concern in his
voice went no deeper than his grin, neither touching his eyes. He stayed
distant, like he was being nice because he was a nice guy, and it was the right
thing to do. Beautiful detailing of the characterization. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
welcome to the madhouse.' I absolutely LOVED, this last line for your chapter BUT also for Abhay's last line too. In this way Pia can't make him out, which is exactly the problem Abhay is having with her, I am assuming. 😳
Akanksha, I love this FF!😃 Your writing is just captivating.
WIth much love, Sabah