My Perfect Obsession - AbhIya FF;Updt:Pg24PMsLater - Page 7

aw good so pia sees ghosts this is gonna b intersting waiting and today update was suspense :s

Akanksha,

Just when I was feeling able to fall asleep peacefully again, ( or as my mother says, with the lights off)...

This opening line, Between the dream I couldn't remember and the boy I couldn't have seen, is as eloquent as it is surreal.  Just exceptional. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love your ability to weave in humour that adds to the narrative rather than just an afterthought, so that the conversation with Panchi is peppered with good lines whilst moving the story along too.  Excellently done. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ I liked, The line went dead before I could argue.Cute. ⭐️

I loved this insightful preface to her college, setting the hierarchy whilst adding your perceptive note.  when you put kids together, no matter how similar, lines are drawn. Instead of geeks and jocks and nobodies, you get artists and musicians and actors. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I didn't turn heads, and I scored a zero on the last two. Excellent details. I love how you create a world whilst moving along the action so that we don't become lost in the mundane details that need to be told BUT are caught within their intricacies and actually want to pause and linger over their meaning, their effect upon the whole narrative.  Here, she becomes a nobody, a ghost, from amongst the invisible nobodies.  Seemingly effortless weaving of her status, engagingly told. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

''Like phoning a guy until his mother tells you to leave him alone?'' Rhea grinned. ''That's Armaan's mother. He never said it.''  Really cute😆

I thought I could name a guy I liked and that would be enough. Not a chance. Swetha told him I liked him. I was horrified. Well, there was a part of me that hoped he'd go like, ''Cool. I like Pia, too.'' Not a chance. We used to talk in the class sometimes. Now, he sat two rows away. I loved this paragraph, NOT only because of its subtle humour and excellent portrayal of teenage girl's predicaments BUT for your style of narration.  Each line is followed by a negation of the sentiment of the previous.  That is just very stylish.  So we go from a rational reasoning, to its flaw, then mouth open being floored from its consequence, then that glimmer of a sliver lining, to hoping the floor would open up and swallow you. 👏 Akanksha, you not only tell a tale, BUT you tell it supremely well and with panache. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Again without reiterating my last statements, that conversation with Karan whilst moving the story on, adds more on both their characters and layered with humour.  Just excellently done. ⭐️

I loved this explanation of her phobia people who lurked in dark places and scared me. A common trait differentiated by your detailing of this wonderful line. 👏

Although I was expecting that scary end, it still managed to give me the heebeegeebees. Excellent update. I read it twice. 😃 Love Sabah

Edited by a little faith - 12 years ago

Reserved!! Will unreserve tomorrow!!

its wonderful akansha...

This was awesome and can't wait till the next update! Thanks for updating quickly! And thanks for the PM!

ur too cute. awww. will comment later more.

ITS AWSUM ... PIA MET GHOST OR SOMETHING... LOVELY UPDATE YR... PM ME...

lovly update..hmm..suspence..:)pls continue soon!

Hi Akansha, Im new to ur FF & I must say that ur doing a gud Job. Do PM Me when U update next..

Awesome Update.. Its getting more n more intresting..bt der lots of suspense yaar.. Carry on..thanx for d pm..lol.