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PR Reloaded- II (FF) Note on pg. 76- do read! (Page 23)

Swati_ IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 2:54am | IP Logged
Nikki Hug
Missed you dear Smile 
How was your stay at your home ?
 
Coming to the FF,
Um...Nikki this was the twist which made me love Manav more in the show Embarrassed I felt for him, and wanted him to have things his own way after the twist in the show Ouch Unfortunately exactly ulta happened Dead 
I was of the opinion that come what may , i want Manav happy Ouch
 
Hm...I wont say i loved this part but i liked this part Big smile 
I personally felt bad to see Manav suffer so much because of his love for Archu Ouch
Savita aai's actions made the whole D family suffer
Nikki Manav has suffered a lot , i want him to have some relief. I know he will get happiness but i dont want it to be too late Approve
I would have liked if Manju was punished for her actions, she must not go scott free Dead
But may be you can make the story better by putting this NGO twist in the show Smile
I agree that Archu refusing to witness in the court is better for Manav's safety Smile
 
Coming to Archu , well i want her to prove herself simply because Manav loves her..I want him to be happy Embarrassed
 
Sweety dont worry , i am sure people will like your next parts Smile
I trust you Nikki , you have never disappointed me with your FF Smile
 
OH, You have your exams now Ouch So will the next update be after a month Ouch
 
ALL THE BEST NIKKI Thumbs Up
 
Love you Smile
 

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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 6:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nikitagmc

Thanks for your detailed comments, Minks, as always I loved them. You made some very good points, and I would like to discuss them in detail.

 

Originally posted by scarletthara

And, we are back to square one... Poor Archana Manav ke life ke problems kabhi khatam hi nahi hote... You know, I'd planned out this twist since the beginning of the story, but since then I've thought at least thousand times whether to include it or not. Even yesterday, before posting the part, I was feeling very nervous for the same reason. There were many reasons for apprehension- one, it was a very serious issue, secondly, cos I didn't know if the audience would really be able to handle any more misery for Manav. He has really suffered enough, and I know that everyone feels for him too much. In fact, the reaction when this twist was shown in the serial was outrageous- everyone went wild at how much poor Manav was suffering, and in this FF he is going through more, so I was very nervous about how people would receive it. It was just one of those things which I as a writer wanted to present, and took a risk for. This twist is actually meant for character development and define a few relationships ahead,.

 

I... Will come up with more on this in the next part, about this freedom on the part of the girls family, about the beating, why ALL were taken in jail and beaten, etc. It will clear things.

Yes- but there's another aspect to consider it too- Most of the people are Savita's neighbours.. who had seen Savita mistreating Archu, but NEVER stopped Savita or said anything or got involved in the matter. Someone coming and testifying IN COURT that no Savita did it, is actually not very easy to assume in such a situation, but like Mrs. Ruhia said, there is always a possibility- who knows Manjusha might convince someone, so why take a chance.

You know Minks, there were two ways of showing Manav in this situation- to show him as a very understanding man, who keeps in mind that Archana is not at fault, and does not blame her, rather he defends her in front of his family when they demand that she be thrown out, or I could have shown him as I did above- he screams, shouts, gets angry, then cools somewhat, talks a little, still annoyed, and finally accepts that she is not at fault and makes peace with her. The first portrayal would have been ideal, but the second one is REAL. This is how any normal person, who is not a sage or god, would behave.

 I tried to keep the same thing in mind when I tried to write Archana- to show her as real, rather than ideal. Ideal behavior on Archana's part would have been to speak up in front of Manav about truth, be firm and stick to justice and what is right- tell him everything about his Aai. But in REAL life, a wife would think many times before telling a husband horrible truths about his mother just 4 months after they are married, or going against her in front of the whole world, (no matter how strong or weak she is) and that too someone so meek like Archana. Doesn't go with her character. Men are not ideal all the time (like Manav), there are many who would not like to hear anything/believe anything against their family or want their wives to go against their parents in front of the whole world, or shame them. 'Blood is thicker than water'- on impulse, most men support their family, not anything else. Didn't the serial Manav too divorce Archana just to get little Sachin from Shravani? 

 

Thus, in a crumbling marriage like hers, Archana doesn't have much to count on, or expect support from a husband (against his mother) who she knows is very devoted to his parents. Like any normal woman, she first debated on it, then decided to side with her husband, and finally had to be given strength to do what was right.

 

I know, many people think that this Archana is too spineless. When I write her, I always try to imagine a girl who is very emotional, doesn't have much confidence, gets defensive or shows strength sometimes, when pushed to the corner, and is trying to do the balancing act all the time- between what is right and wrong, between her husband and parents, between her desires and reality. That is why sometimes she comes across as inept in making some decisions, but then again she is the same girl who defied her parents and took the step to return to the husband who had been called characterless- trusting his inner goodness. It requires great strength to accept someone who ruined your life by looking at the good in him and live FOR him. She has strength, but it lies unrecognized most of the time, is what I try to show as of now. The story is meant to show how she taps it and becomes stronger, more efficient and more confident, and also, strives to become more balanced in her outlook. If I make her the perfect girl now itself, there will be nothing left in the story. LOL So as of now, I am trying to show her as someone so emotional and in love with her family and craving for a normal life with them, that sometimes she makes adjustments, just to be with them, or simply gets swept away in emotions while making decisions.

Hopefully you will like the coming parts when Archana gets stronger. Thanks for the comments.

 


Hey Niki, I really appreciate the fact that despite having misgivings, you wrote this part. I know that you condone the acts as much as me maybe... hence not to worry... I do understand the writer's dilemma... you want to do justice to the story, and portray the sufferings as it were on the TV show...

Even when it was portrayed on tv, this was one of my least favourite tracks... due to mainly 2 reasons : it showed the misuse of an act of law, which has been intended to benefit poor, suffering women, and not be used as an act of revenge.  The other bit was it is so difficult to accept the fact that the police and law-enforcers in our country have fallen so low... I have never been to a prison (thankfully, LOL), and don't know of anyone who has... Hence this step where the whole family is put behind bars, is still acceptable to me.. the terrible bit is the cruel treatment meted out to the people... beaten mercilessly... without being proven guilty yet. Its such a gross violation of the human rights of any man / woman... despite their guilt. I hated this extreme act on the show, and this is one of the reasons that this part in your story affected me so much...  

I know that your are trying to portray a very realistic picture and real characters... we might find such people on the streets easily enough. But, for me to be able to visualise such characters is a bit of a stretch. I know that Archana can be a very true person in real, but as an audience I hate to see her so meek. I know this is my own life experiences and my own convictions in life which is clouding my judgement. I should try and better appreciate it as a work of fiction, but having seen these characters for so long, either through the show or through ur FF, i feel such a deep empathy for these characters, they almost feel like my long-lost friends.. 

Hence the whole disappointment at how they react to situations. Its like how I would do if one of my friends were in a similar situation and being dumb... Embarrassed

I know that's not a fair way to appreciate one's hard work... sorry, Niki... its just something close to my heart. 

I know and understand Manav's feelings better and am very happy with his character. I know he has to be disappointed with the way his marriage is going. My concern is all this should not create bitterness and disappointment beyond repair for him... I have seen relationships in real life breaking up for similar reasons. Even when there is love, due to situations, people stop respecting each other or cannot trust each other anymore. I don't want Manav's faith to break now.. he so needs love and support, specially now in his life. We just need that strong faith and trust in Archana to remain in his heart... with her behaving in this pendulum way, it sounds scary for their relationship. 

Also, I know that its very difficult for Archana to say anything against Savita aai to Manav, but given the choice between a 3rd person telling him about it... in this instance I am assuming that Mrs Ruhia would do so... I am a bit uncomfortable with the scenario. If I knew that this was such an important stage, then I would prefer that the parters deal with the issues themselves, without involving a 3rd person. I know its scary for Archana, but I have these weird notions (more feasible for fiction I guess than applicable in real life) that the 2 should be able to trust and tell each other everything... hmmm, but sadly that does not happen mostly.

I really am very appreciative of the fact that you took the efforts to portray such a dark chapter in their life. I guess that's what a writer's immense conviction in the story comes into play, that they can write about things and situation they would never want to see or hear in real life...

And, now again, I have gone on my rant, and couldn't help but write this thesis... sorry Niki Embarrassed

I hope you do continue and update soon, when you get time... 


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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 10:32am | IP Logged
nikki I hope u will not go off to another month vactaion after this fabulous update... I like this update as its logical.

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nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 11:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Swati_

Nikki Hug
Missed you dear Smile Me too!
How was your stay at your home ?Nice! Enjoyed a lot.
 
Coming to the FF,
Um...Nikki this was the twist which made me love Manav more in the show Embarrassed I felt for him, and wanted him to have things his own way after the twist in the show Ouch Unfortunately exactly ulta happened Dead 
I was of the opinion that come what may , i want Manav happy OuchSame here Swati. Archu will make both of us happy, is all I can say.
 
Hm...I wont say i loved this part but i liked this part Big smile 
I personally felt bad to see Manav suffer so much because of his love for Archu OuchBut that is the point na Swati! Manav didn't suffer cos of his love for Archu, he suffered cos of Savita and Manjusha. These two people have created havoc in the life of both Archana and Manav. Archana is also a victim like Manav. 

 the whole D family suffer
Nikki Manav has suffered a lot , i want him to have some relief. I know he will get happiness but i dont want it to be too late ApproveIt won't. And it looks late, but actually we have crossed very little of 'serial time'.
I would have liked if Manju was punished for her actions, she must not go scott free DeadShe won't. She will pay for this in multiple ways.
But may be you can make the story better by putting this NGO twist in the show Smile
I agree that Archu refusing to witness in the court is better for Manav's safety Smile
 
Coming to Archu , well i want her to prove herself simply because Manav loves her..I want him to be happy Embarrassed
 
Sweety dont worry , i am sure people will like your next parts Smile
I trust you Nikki , you have never disappointed me with your FF SmileThanks Sweety. 
 
OH, You have your exams now Ouch So will the next update be after a month OuchDepends. A normal update like this one can be put sooner. But since people were asking for ME or two updates back to back, I confessed it would be difficult for me to write so much at one go. Will try.
 
ALL THE BEST NIKKI Thumbs UpThankyou
 
Love you SmileLove you too.
 


Edited by nikitagmc - 29 August 2011 at 1:06pm

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lunza IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 11:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nikitagmc


Where Manav's suffering is concerned, again, that issue will be addressed and he will get the due for that too, but again I cannot put everything in one part. There will be no story left for the future. This part actually paves way for many new substories here--- Manjusha's punishment, Savita-Archana relationship, Savita- Manav relationship, will Manav get justice?, will Archana learn and become bolder etc., relationship with Karanjkars etc.
hmm ya .. thats the feeling i got after i read the update ...
like i said previously , more than this update i am waiting for the part where u focus on manav-savita relationship as u mentioned ...
You know , i remember u saying quite a few times that u liked this jail twist in PR ...
so I always expected u to put in this twist in ur FF .. but when I saw the story moving ahead without it ..I thought u might not do it after all .. and forgot about it ... so I was completely taken aback with this part ...
Actually even I found this twist quite interesting in the show .. though the episodes themselves were unpleasant and hard to watch ...
And ya .. they made a hash of it by unnessarily killing sachin .. and from that point viewers like me felt more sypathetic towards savita ... all that harrassment/abuse archu faced became "insignificant"  compared to this loss savita experienced ...
They handled the whole thing pretty badly .. completely took away attention from harrassment/abuse .. the whole issue was put on the backburner , heck .. it wasnt even explored...
 
I actually found this part very gripping , a bit difficult to read at times tbh .. ( thank god u skipped some stuff..) .. but i have just one request .. please dont make manav go to the k's and apologize on his mom's behalf after he comes to know the truth .. I would hate that ...
And yeah .. I would have liked it if archu herself gathered the courage to tell manav the truth about his mum .. rather than some third person ... well , archu should at least be present when manav has this session with that NGO lady , instead of completely chickening out ...
 
I
ouch ... i am already feeling bad for manav's state of mind .. when he comes to know about his mum ... Ouch 


Edited by lunza - 29 August 2011 at 11:54am

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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 11:52am | IP Logged
niki , manav ka aur kitna waat lagaaogi ... give him some happiness yaar ... and please tell me manju will at least get her bu*t whipped .. i loathe her ...
I am waiting for the day manav gets an apology from the k's .. i.e queen sulo and popat vinod ... hated their apathy in this part ...
oh the poor kids .. the embarrassment they will have to face in school ..
btw how old are they exactly ? what are they studying ? ...
Oh , and can u show manav slapping sachin the next time he makes an appearance and lays guilt trips on his dada ? ... feeling angry at his absence from the house .. that coward .. he has run away to live his life  .. not giving a damn about whats happening back home ...
 
i hope the kids grow up fast and give their dada the much needed TLC  ...
 
EDIT : ATB for ur exams Big smile.. have fun LOL


Edited by lunza - 29 August 2011 at 11:55am

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nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 12:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by scarletthara

[QUOTE=nikitagmc]


Hey Niki, I really appreciate the fact that despite having misgivings, you wrote this part. I know that you condone the acts as much as me maybe... hence not to worry... I do understand the writer's dilemma... you want to do justice to the story, and portray the sufferings as it were on the TV show...Thankyou Minks.

Even when it was portrayed on tv, this was one of my least favourite tracks... due to mainly 2 reasons : it showed the misuse of an act of law, which has been intended to benefit poor, suffering women, and not be used as an act of revenge.  The other bit was it is so difficult to accept the fact that the police and law-enforcers in our country have fallen so low... I have never been to a prison (thankfully, LOL), and don't know of anyone who has... Hence this step where the whole family is put behind bars, is still acceptable to me.. the terrible bit is the cruel treatment meted out to the people... beaten mercilessly... without being proven guilty yet. Its such a gross violation of the human rights of any man / woman... despite their guilt. I hated this extreme act on the show, and this is one of the reasons that this part in your story affected me so much...  

I accept both your reasons. And this is where the serial PR disappointed me.

As you yourself said, serial PR showed that Manjusha never gets punished in anyway for misusing this act. What they showed (Archana making complaint and police coming to put Manjusha in jail) that is not according to the law. Kuch bhi tha woh.

But in reality, there ARE ways and means to take action against a careless/false complaint- one is there which I told in this story- Abru Nuksani- suing the person who made the complaint. The person is not imprisoned for making a complaint, but is sued for irrepairable loss to name and respect in society cos of a wrong/false complaint. This makes people careful of the complaints they make, knowing there is a safeguard. I feel similarily about the misuse of this act that you spoke about, hence I am not going to let this issue hang and let Manjusha get away with making a wrong complaint so easily. She will be punished legally too- you must be wondering how, since the NGO and Archana both are refusing now- how, why, that will come up in my next part and the story ahead.

About your second point Minks, no- the police and law enforcers in the country have NOT fallen low. Every case is not treated in this manner, nor is every person punished just on the basis of a complaint. But this case (dowry harassment and abuse) is different. And there is a reason why the police behave in this way in such cases. Again, I will be writing about this in part 73.



I know that your are trying to portray a very realistic picture and real characters... we might find such people on the streets easily enough. But, for me to be able to visualise such characters is a bit of a stretch. I know that Archana can be a very true person in real, but as an audience I hate to see her so meek. I know this is my own life experiences and my own convictions in life which is clouding my judgement. I should try and better appreciate it as a work of fiction, but having seen these characters for so long, either through the show or through ur FF, i feel such a deep empathy for these characters, they almost feel like my long-lost friends.. 

Hence the whole disappointment at how they react to situations. Its like how I would do if one of my friends were in a similar situation and being dumb... EmbarrassedI don't blame you for expecting more out of the characters. If this was a show on TV, even I would have kept expectations from Archana, to become stronger, more clever, to identify who are her true well wishers and not be such a simpleton and so on. Even if her behavior is real, some traits are wrong, there's no excuse for that. I just told you the ideal vs real scenario to explain why I choose this route for the story- that I was making an effort to show a person trying to progress from 'real' to 'ideal' just like we do in our life- we are not perfect, but we try and better ourselves by learning everyday. Same here. Archana is meek, but tries to become stronger little by little. Sometimes, the journey to become 'ideal' can be more interesting than an ideal character itself, I think. Hence this take. I felt it would be more inspiring and easy to associate with.


I know that's not a fair way to appreciate one's hard work... sorry, Niki... its just something close to my heart. 

I know and understand Manav's feelings better and am very happy with his character. I know he has to be disappointed with the way his marriage is going. My concern is all this should not create bitterness and disappointment beyond repair for him... I have seen relationships in real life breaking up for similar reasons. Even when there is love, due to situations, people stop respecting each other or cannot trust each other anymore. I don't want Manav's faith to break now.. he so needs love and support, specially now in his life. We just need that strong faith and trust in Archana to remain in his heart... with her behaving in this pendulum way, it sounds scary for their relationship. 'Pendulum way'LOL You are also using Manav's language! Well, I agree to that, but that is just a perspective on Manav's part, born out of resentment that Archana didn't support him. An argument can be made from Archana's side too- that if she went back to not-supporting him every time, then each time it was for a strong reason- cos her doubts on him were strengthened by some strong evidence, cos she realised her decision was wrong to his future and so on. She has never gone back to being a pendulum over fickle matters. It will be some time before Manav can realise that those were circumstances which made her act like that, in reality she is no pendulum- if she has come to his house after so much of thought process, then she is here to stay and here to save the relationship, and won't leave this midway, come what may.

Also, I know that its very difficult for Archana to say anything against Savita aai to Manav, but given the choice between a 3rd person telling him about it... in this instance I am assuming that Mrs Ruhia would do so... I am a bit uncomfortable with the scenario. If I knew that this was such an important stage, then I would prefer that the parters deal with the issues themselves, without involving a 3rd person. I know its scary for Archana, but I have these weird notions (more feasible for fiction I guess than applicable in real life) that the 2 should be able to trust and tell each other everything... hmmm, but sadly that does not happen mostly.It will happen, and I shall show it too... however such trust and understanding takes some time to build. It cannot materialise quickly simply cos of romantic ideologies.

I really am very appreciative of the fact that you took the efforts to portray such a dark chapter in their life. I guess that's what a writer's immense conviction in the story comes into play, that they can write about things and situation they would never want to see or hear in real life...

And, now again, I have gone on my rant, and couldn't help but write this thesis... sorry Niki EmbarrassedOh, don't say sorry, I liked the discussion, and I like it when people say they get involved in the story. Even when people say they hate or love a particular character, it shows involvement.

I hope you do continue and update soon, when you get time... 


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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lunza


And ya .. they made a hash of it by unnessarily killing sachin .. and from that point viewers like me felt more sypathetic towards savita ... all that harrassment/abuse archu faced became "insignificant"  compared to this loss savita experienced ... Agreed! I hated Sachin killing twist too.
They handled the whole thing pretty badly .. completely took away attention from harrassment/abuse .. the whole issue was put on the backburner , heck .. it wasnt even explored...Ditto!
 
I actually found this part very gripping , a bit difficult to read at times tbh .. ( thank god u skipped some stuff..) .. but i have just one request .. please dont make manav go to the k's and apologize on his mom's behalf after he comes to know the truth .. I would hate that ...Frankly speaking would hate that too... but it would show Manav as the bigger person in this mess. A sorry does not make anyone small, but rather accepting graciously when the mistake is yours is a sign of a gentleman and a fair person. Am not saying that this is going to happen for sure in the next part, but this is a point to ponder- do we want Manav to shine as a character , or do we want him to be a hypocrite who does not admit his Aai's mistake and proves that he is no different than the ordinary husband who supports his mother in public even if she has behaved like a witch, so that we can get audience satisfaction that Manav didn't apologize to Karanjkars? Sometimes, behaving better than the enemy actually makes you bigger than them, the enemy falls in his own eyes. Not to forget, Manav did use some very harsh words for the Karanjkars too.

Whatever be the case, one thing is for sure- I am going to find it very difficult to write the next part, it will be difficult to find a balanced track that will please both me and the audience.LOL


And yeah .. I would have liked it if archu herself gathered the courage to tell manav the truth about his mum .. rather than some third person ... well , archu should at least be present when manav has this session with that NGO lady , instead of completely chickening out ...
Its not a case of chickening out, but I personally think Mrs. Ruhia can do a better job of explaining things- she has more legal knowledge and is better equipped to convince Manav. Anyway, let's see.
 
I
ouch ... i am already feeling bad for manav's state of mind .. when he comes to know about his mum ... Ouch 

niki , manav ka aur kitna waat lagaaogi ... give him some happiness yaar ... and please tell me manju will at least get her bu*t whipped .. i loathe her ...Okay this is the last one. Happy?Big smile Ab aur waat nai lagaungi.Tongue And yes, as I said, Manjusha will get punished in multiple ways.
I am waiting for the day manav gets an apology from the k's .. i.e queen sulo and popat vinod ... hated their apathy in this part ...He won't get an apology, he will get much much more than that.Wink
oh the poor kids .. the embarrassment they will have to face in school ..Sab theek ho jayega, Dr. Niki has a magic cure for everything.Big smile
btw how old are they exactly ? what are they studying ? ...12 th standard. Both are studying so that they can get into good colleges next year. I never wrote about their studies in detail as of now (though its there in my mind) but yes, I did mention at one point about Vedant wanting to go to medical college, so yeah, Vedant is studying the Sciences.
Oh , and can u show manav slapping sachin the next time he makes an appearance and lays guilt trips on his dada ? ... feeling angry at his absence from the house .. that coward .. he has run away to live his life  .. not giving a damn about whats happening back home ...LOL Abhi se thappad?!? Lol, his backstory will come up after some time.
 
i hope the kids grow up fast and give their dada the much needed TLC  ...
 
EDIT : ATB for ur exams Big smile.. have fun LOL


Edited by nikitagmc - 29 August 2011 at 1:34pm

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