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LAUGHTER KA EXPLOSION..Bring On The Jokes (Page 12)

Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
Absoluv

Joined: 20 November 2006
Posts: 11785

Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by riza792

Param!Hug Absolutely Hilarious!! Loved it!ROFLROFL

Heyyy Rosh dear.Hug...how r u gurl ??? Glad that u luved it & it made u laugh...thats the aim...Keep Laughin...LOL

Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
Absoluv

Joined: 20 November 2006
Posts: 11785

Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by dtri

Originally posted by Absoluv

@Kavi: Heyyy dear...How Are You Get Well Smiley Emoticon Animation Animated gif...Wass up ??? Glad that u had a nice laugh...u can add ur dose of laughter tooo...Wink

@hamavand, knirwal, Harneet, blahblablah...thanx guys...

@dtri : Hi Gurl...how r u ???

@ Pikachu : Wass up gurl ??? Glad that u had a nice laugh...u can add ur jokes tooo...Big smile
 
Ohh you posted a shout out for me... how sweet dear!! Embarrassed I didn't notice LOL!!!! I just came back checking for more jokes and saw this. I am good and you??? Tongue

I'm good too dear..will keep on adding jokes as I find them...U too can ada whatever funny stuff u find...Big smile

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EBasso

Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
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Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
For all those who r trying to loose weight just like me...this is how u wud relate to the weigh scale...






Edited by Absoluv - 17 May 2011 at 7:56pm

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bvs7691esha143EBassorahmona_pakswe

EBasso IF-Rockerz
EBasso
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Posted: 17 May 2011 at 7:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Absoluv

For all those who r trying to loose weight just like me...this is how u wud relate to the weigh scale...




 
 
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
Absoluv

Joined: 20 November 2006
Posts: 11785

Posted: 17 May 2011 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
This is really a good one...Dunno if I posted it Earlier...In any case..posting it :ROFL ROFL

To all the women who can handle the truth!       

The Husband Store 

 

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where any woman may go to choose a husband.  Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love  kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: 

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: 

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the  housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth  floor and the sign reads: 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

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bvs7691esha143rahmona_pakswe

Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
Absoluv

Joined: 20 November 2006
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Posted: 17 May 2011 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
Okie Dokie...here is another one :

Dear Tech Support, 
 
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

 In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby , Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
 
What can I do?
 
Signed,

 Desperate  


.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL 

  
Dear Desperate, 
 
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
 
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
 
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
 
Good Luck, 
Tech Support

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL 

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thekolgalbvs7691esha143rahmona_pakswe

Mehek25 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 18 May 2011 at 3:59am | IP Logged
Hi guys here are some which I think are good...hope u all like them...

# 1

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:


Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: suit/casuals I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!
!

__________________________________________

#2

 

Q.  What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ?

A.   Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai...

       Doosri bigarti  hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai 

Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.

A.  Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi  hai. 

Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?

A.  In both cases you feel  'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta'        

Q.  Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi solution bataiye.

A.   Sadhu bola , solution hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

___________________________________________________________

#3

 

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.  She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.  


The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."  
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.  

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman said, "That's okay."  

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.  
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".  
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."  
So, KAZAM-  she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!  

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.  
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than  
you. "   
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."  
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!  

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a mild heart attack."  

Moral of the story:  
Women are clever. Don't mess with them.  

Attention female readers:  This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good  

Male readers: Please scroll down.  









The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!  


Moral of the story  
:  Women are really dumb but think they're really smart  .  

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show  


PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!  


You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, 
and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor J


 

 

 

 

 

 


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Silzbvs7691siroililyesha143Absoluvrahmona_pakswe

Absoluv IF-Sizzlerz
Absoluv
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Posts: 11785

Posted: 18 May 2011 at 5:57am | IP Logged
@hamavand : ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL ROFL...All of them were HILARIOUS... ROFL

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