Miley Jab Hum Tum

India-Forums

   
Miley Jab Hum Tum
Miley Jab Hum Tum

A SaJan OS: Apology

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22520

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
Author's Note

I'm Kankshita, fellas. Last time I checked, I was a Mayank-Nupur die-hard, I am not suspicious at all, I still am! But it is like this scene I have penned about is my favorite Samrat-Gunjan scene and lately, I have been liking them, too much to keep myself devoid of being bitten by the SG-writing bug and um, I just got a soft-ish spot for one-sided lovers, so here it is. It's got the scene dated 4th June, 2009 wherein Samrat and Gunjan enact Rahul and Jahnvi and everything, you must remember? 

Please pardon the length and the grammatical errors, whatsoever. Thanks, drop in your two cents! Approve

Thank you, Ishita for making the PMs. Big smile

Kankshita


Edited by -Kanky- - 15 May 2011 at 12:46pm

The following 15 member(s) liked the above post:

mukitzzMoNaYaRoXrituloveskmh-Aish-EdgeOfCredencea little faithPurpleRainSimple-GirlXDevilsDesireXwithout-fathomSandCastle.AttractiveAdyadmgmjht4everCandYlicious_S-CreativeSoul-

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22520

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 12:37pm | IP Logged

Samrat and Gunjan: Apology


Otherwise, the corridor was always lighted. Today, through remote niches, sunshine cascaded and it was painted ivory. Ivory-clad beams of sun light had also started diminishing and roughly three dozens of people had enveloped us. I was to enact something I have, and I shall be denuded of. I was supposed to serve as the heroine of a luscious apology being delivered by the hero.

The surface whereupon I walk is crisp and crusted hard and my spirit is not withering anymore. He has bestowed me with courage to walk by myself. He has chanted a spell on me. Samrat is my best friend, he was the hero of that scene and I fear to take up the institution of his always-heroic aura, I am scared to admit that in so many ways, he really is my hero, the alpha male of my life. I might consider never being interested and or oblique tempted by the entire heroic fundamental, I just fell in love.

He stood so close to me, yet he could not hear my thumping heart, or maybe he did and he figured out it was my job; I was acting, after all. For once, I did not fear the eyes that were going to reckon my performance, the eyes of three dozen people. My famous stage fright had involuntarily found an obscure niche for itself somewhere underneath my epidermis. All I did fear was that one moment when the scene would wrap up, and my volatile characteristics originally possessed by Jahnvi would refuse to abide with their nature, with the ultimate law of my life – Samrat shouldn't know I am in love with him.

I feared my tears would drench the dress I was wearing, and that I would not be able to bite them back. What was I going to do with the monstrous lump in my throat when the lights would shine right on my pale face, when my best friend would expect me to beckon to him and tell him he was brilliant? Would I be able to abstain on my sinisterly empathic connection with Jahnvi?

Anyway, he initiated the scene.

Those words of apology were cutting through my eardrums. He may have shattered my every endeavor that Rose Day, he may even have neglected my every notion of unhappiness, when I was devastated and flinching in pain because of him, but I was not ever going to overlook his endowments to me.  I don't mean everything to him, but I mean many things to him that is why the apology never made sense to me, never will.

Mujhe yaad hai, jis din tumse pehli baar mila tha, usi din pyaar se meri pehli mulaqat hui thi. Wo hulchul, wo ehsaas, wo pal; tumse judi har baat Mujhe yaad hai.

I fidgeted with the script in my hands as he spoke this to me. My eyes wandered out of consciousness as the same fear had trapped me in its very shackles, I wasn't losing myself here. I could not afford that.

Aur ek din sab thukra ke, main tumse dur chala gaya.

As a matter of fact, Samrat never did leave me. He is sublimely the quaintest element of my life, being around him is as much joy as pain it is. It is as much friendship as enmity it is. It is indeed him or nothing, nobody else. He never left me, it was just Rahul, and I sighed in relief on the inside and prepared for the delivery of my dialogue.

Main kaise nahi samajh paya ki wo pyaar hai? Mujhe maaf kardo. Maine tumhara dil bahut dukhaya hai.

I would not lie, I am hurt. In fact, it hurts like dissecting my interior with daggers differently, most defiantly every day but I calculate that I cannot be certain about any romantic feelings in his heart harboring for me. He loves me, I think so. He does not love me enough, I know so.

Tumhe maafi maangne ki koi zarurat nahi hai.

I fumbled in the beginning.

Kaise zarurat nahi hai? Har baar meri galatiyoon ko bhula dena, tumhari yehi baat toh Mujhe aur bhi sharminda kardeti hai. Itna pyaar karti ho mujhse, tum har baar Mujhe kaise maaf kar sakti ho?

In my knowledge, he never made a mistake. Yes, I love him. But what mistake did he make? I was apteral then, maybe it was just Rahul again, but I was forced into considering the idea of forgiving Samrat for rejecting me, at any point in his life. I am wholly saturated, what could cause more agony, which was the question, still is. I could not decipher forgiveness but I know; I love him enough to forgive him for rejecting me, even pushing me off a bridge.

I do not correctly remember my dialogue that followed. Ironically, it left the deepest impression on me. I said that I never weighed issues and situations before falling in love with him. I always believed that if they are our true love, they'd come back to us somehow, anyhow. But we will have to set them free; love was never about caging to Jahnvi. Love is not about caging to me, or even expressing if I can cover it up in a case such as this.

From being able to look square in his eyes to lowering my eyes and disorienting my spectacles again, I was soaked in the waters of the substance, the substance of painful love. Jahnvi was nearing a happy ending, but I never quite made it to the beginning to have a blissful wrap up in the first place. Yes, I wait for him but I do not understand why. Yes, I do not expect him to love me back, but the hope, it just never fades away. It is unnerving.

Tumse dur jaane par hi tumhare paas rehne ka ehsaas hua hai Jahnvi, main janta hun tum mujhse bahut pyaar karti thi, karti ho, karti rahogi. Main jaanta hun aur aaj main tumse ye vaada karta hun ki mera dil humesha tumhara rahega, tum chaaho toh is dil ko thukra sakti ho kyunki main jaanta hun ki maine aisi galati ki hai jo maafi ke layak nahi hai.

Was it really his fault? Would he ever really be mine?

Tears were wedged in my eyes; they were looking for a passage to escape. Samrat never realized what my plight was, Sheena stood at our extreme right wearing and edgy expression, and they were clearly watching Jahnvi soar heights. I'm glad, nobody really acknowledged Gunjan's presence, I am relieved nobody noticed my tears were for real, my sobs were not dramatic and just by some chance, the hero managed to warm the cockles of my heart even as he was a substance that served to my ailment, my pains and my emotion, I was really in love with him, the amateur lover, my best friend.

Mirth engulfs me still when he is by my side; I am always mirthful with him. I recollected my days of mirth and ignorance, when I used to look past my feelings for him, when I could manage to look beyond them. Today, as I sit down on my bed at the time I generally relax after hectic lectures, my pain seems to lessen by no chance, and there is no scope either. Because indeed, my emotion overpowers my senses, disturbs my schedule and perturbs me more every minute.

 I could imagine his bewitching smile, I could see the moments he did showcase it to me. I could see us both happy and I could feel the happiness in me for a while. I realized there is nothing more soothing than his comforting and shining smile. I realized my existence alone meant nothing, his was integral and that I am swathed in this for life. Soon, I transformed into Jahnvi again.

I fell in love with him without asking his permission, then how was it his mistake, I explained to him how it was entirely my fault and I was authoritative toward the apology, after all. My criterion wasn't ever to fall in love but I did, it was my fault. I was never supposed to believe his smile was entitled to me, or his words were. I was incorrect if I inconspicuously continued to borrow some of Dee's antiques from her and live a dream which had him and me, very much together. I was sorry.

He trailed closer to me, wiped off my tears and I stared at my feet, my trembling feet.

Sirf ek baar, sirf ek baar kehdo ke tum mere bina jee nahi sakti. Sirf ek baar apne chehre pe wo pyaar ki jhalak dikha do, sirf ek baar humare pyaar ko ek mauka de do. Haan, main tumse pyaar karta hun, bahut pyaar.

Hence, my feet stuck to the floor, his words supplied adhesive and it just glued me to the surface. In that moment, within than proximity and beneath our masks of the characters we played, I wished the same emotion hailed, the same love grew and we were in that together. It was another endeavor he was going to crush under his feet, for he was just acting, I knew. I knew, I couldn't act though, I couldn't respond for a while.

It was best if Jahnvi left the premise, which was written in the script, I just followed. I knew he was going to clutch my hand, make me bereft of my senses and embrace me. I knew who I was in that atmosphere, and who he was but I never stopped hoping, last time I checked. I like a bundle of matchsticks that just dismantled; he was putting them together, compiling them. And on my inside, I had sensations of healing, he was fixing my broken pieces, my jagged pieces were falling all into place. But I did not reciprocate to him, in fact I could not have even if I decided to, his grip on me was strong, one I could not have been able to break. And my hands fell in agreement with my responsibility to not hug Samrat back.

Decent applauses roared to life and he instantly left me. Sheena stood like a wall of glass between us, again. A wall I could see through, I could exactly see what the other side could offer me. I could consider shoving the barrier out of my way and conquer, but maybe I was not the right substance for that, and I was back to that feeling. I received appreciation; I had done my job well. I had to cover my unleashed wounds before Samrat finally approached me.

I excused myself and did not look back.

The following 27 member(s) liked the above post:

mukitzzmiriam2rupal.sri24-Aish-MoNaYaRoXrituloveskmhEdgeOfCredenceSrushti97zobsheha little faith358674sadufSanliciousYou-Know-WhoPurpleRainScatteredCastleagreatperhapswithout-fathomSandCastle.dmgmjht4everDiyaS-CreativeSoul-XSilentWishesXCandYlicious_Sbrainychild92Shafoojyothi-

without-fathom IF-Rockerz
without-fathom
without-fathom

Joined: 30 September 2010
Posts: 6435

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 1:42pm | IP Logged
Reserved - be back after posting up my chapter - thanks for the PM Kankshita (:

xx
JZee

*edit*

Well that was vivid much. So like I said before, I didn't follow the show - at all - and reading this piece was a one time brand new tale for me. And since angst is what really piques on the interest of many a readers - despite all chants of happily forevers and whatnots - I believe I got myself a very good deal in visualizing characters I have no pre-notions about (: 

It's all about the chase, isn't it? The center points of most stories, at least the romantic love sagas? I was almost going to tube in and find the episode you mentioned - to give myself some heads up - but then I didn't and i'm glad. 

Just to make sure I got some facts right - Sheena is the guy's current girl, and Gunjan was rejected by him. So whether or not he loves her and is oblivious, or really doesn't and this is in fact honestly one sided, is purely readers' discretion? Best friends - one falls in love with the other, who loves yet another - KKHH style?! (: So maybe he will come back to the best friend then. Oh he does obviously - going by your author's note! 

Again, thanks for the PM Kankshita. First person narratives always have an edge, IMO, and you have a writing style that further takes the cake. 

xx


Edited by JZephyr - 15 May 2011 at 3:59pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thegameison

a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
Dearest Kankshita,

sunshine cascaded and it was painted ivory. I love the manner even the sun and moon adorn themselves in other colours, eloquently illuminated by you. Star

I might consider never being interested and or oblique tempted by the entire heroic fundamental, I just fell in love. Beautiful last line to this beautiful paragraph.  That is the danger of living upon the fringe of feelings, for truly it is the tip of intensity, the sharp part of sentiment, the rest is just a sublime blur.  The part in bold was exceptionally written.StarStarStar

would refuse to abide with their nature, This scene always makes me cry, and this is at the heart of the issue, so profoundly found by you. Embarrassed

I don't mean everything to him, but I mean many things to him that is why the apology never made sense to me, never will. Beautiful.

it hurts like dissecting my interior with daggers differently, most defiantly every day ...be certain about any romantic feelings in his heart harboring for me. He loves me, I think so. He does not love me enough, I know so. Just wondrously poetical ponderance.

Sheena stood at our extreme right wearing and edgy expression, LOL Lovely, that edge of an edgy heart.

Hence, my feet stuck to the floor, his words supplied adhesive and it just glued me to the surface. Just endearing words, almost enchanting.

I received appreciation; I had done my job well...I excused myself and did not look back. Excellent end.

Beautifully written. StarStarStar
Well done, I could feel my heart move to your words rather than motion along to memories of that scene.  That is no small feat.

Although they barely move an inch, their emotions breathe through eras. Gunjan that eloquent manifestation of unrequited love reminds us that it is still love.  Bravery is not strength alone, for fear is a shade in the shadow of courage.

Thank you for sharing, love Sabah



Edited by a little faith - 16 May 2011 at 12:39pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

CandYlicious_Sthegameison

dmgmjht4ever IF-Rockerz
dmgmjht4ever
dmgmjht4ever

Joined: 04 August 2009
Posts: 7572

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 3:12pm | IP Logged
K! Hug

Noticed the "ignore the grammatical errors" note in the beginning, therefore I will contribute to that.

I read this entire one-shot out loud. It felt pleasing to hear. Delightful Big smile

I am clueless on what to say; I've lost words. Gunjan's character has always been simple on the outside, yet she is complex on her inner feelings. I loved the way you depicted and portrayed it in this one-shot. She loses herself in her character, and fails to realize the fantasy she's in. Again, I absolutely love the connection you did from Gunjan to Janvi.

I truly and thoroughly enjoyed this one-shot, continue writing more like these, the analogies you did were great for example:

"Sheena stood like a wall of glass between us, again. A wall I could see through, I could exactly see what the other side could offer me. I could consider shoving the barrier out of my way and conquer, but maybe I was not the right substance for that, and I was back to that feeling."

The figurative language, such as similes, you did in this were wonderful. I'm a die-hard figurative language fan, cause it helps me image the scene inside my mind. There were others as well, but this one stuck to me. The whole "wall of glass" is comprehensive, and I love it.

Lastly, thanks for the pm. Big smile

With love,
Nikki


Edited by dmgmjht4ever - 15 May 2011 at 3:12pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thegameison

You-Know-Who IF-Dazzler
You-Know-Who
You-Know-Who

Joined: 31 March 2010
Posts: 3824

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
Will come back Morrow! Yes, i m still awake! Shocked

EDIT

K,

I'd first like to tell you that I never actually got close enough to SG to understand them, but I am reading this thing as if its another story of one sided love! Approve I just read this piece again, solely for the substance of it, so that I can notice the beautiful thought you put behind writing this thing.

The thought and the feelings behind this, I discovered, were profound. And reading your take on this, has been a pleasure.

The most appealing fact about this write up is the various forms of imageries you've embellished it with. His words were glue, Sheena was a clear wall - Profound and impactful. Thumbs Up

You amaze me everytime, with the depth of your thoughts on everything you write. But i wouldn't do the mistake of wondering how you've such deep understanding of this weird thing called love.

Lastly, you make me proud - my friend is a prodigy! Big smile

Love,
A!

Edited by You-Know-Who - 16 May 2011 at 12:27am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thegameison

ScatteredCastle IF-Dazzler
ScatteredCastle
ScatteredCastle

Joined: 04 February 2010
Posts: 2560

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 8:05pm | IP Logged
Now, I do mean to edit this one, seriously. =]

-EDIT- 

Since, I did not follow the show, it was a another story for me, which I'm quite pleased to read. 

There was this amazing blend of irony and pain, mingled into the emotions and presented in a form of words, that made the difference. For me, it was a beautifully carved scene, which has been enacted through the POV of Gunjan. Her thoughts were presented very well. 

The sense of the one-sided love... it's insecurities and grief, were again, well put. I like how this turned out to be. A couple of minutes portrayed through a vignette, I like the mere idea of it! You did a fab job Kankz. 

Thank you for the PM and for bearing my ignorantly-late reply! :-) 
 
ps: Who's Sheena? 


Edited by Angel-Pebby - 24 May 2011 at 3:27am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

thegameison

You-Know-Who IF-Dazzler
You-Know-Who
You-Know-Who

Joined: 31 March 2010
Posts: 3824

Posted: 16 May 2011 at 12:29am | IP Logged
Edited my spot on page 1 Approve

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
kya Sajan banenge Mayur aur Mayur banenge Sajan?

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 11 12

Author: samratrocks   Replies: 94   Views: 14892

samratrocks 94 14892 05 October 2010 at 11:31pm by nupurqueen
meer ali's apology to mayank fans

2 3 4 5

Author: Shivani1arti   Replies: 37   Views: 4298

Shivani1arti 37 4298 13 July 2010 at 10:17pm by spiritcrimson
EVERY SAJAN SCENE MAKE ME MORE CRAZY ABT SAJAN/MON

2

Author: -Cheeni-   Replies: 11   Views: 3954

-Cheeni- 11 3954 01 February 2010 at 12:00pm by xaviara
SaJan scenes minus SaJan

2

Author: mimi0295   Replies: 13   Views: 4346

mimi0295 13 4346 06 May 2009 at 9:16am by robbieluvr
sajan sajan

Author: Onyx.   Replies: 1   Views: 2273

Onyx. 1 2273 08 October 2008 at 6:08am by SamLuvsSaRun

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

  • Please login to check your Last 10 Topics posted

Check these Celebrity also

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index