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Chhoti Bahu - Sawar Ke Rang Rachi

soulmate...some thoughts regarding Dev and Radhika

misti73 IF-Sizzlerz
misti73
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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 12:49am | IP Logged

Yesterday I came across a quotation from someone that it is not necessary that people are born as soulmates, people can become soulmates as one progresses in life and gets to know the other person. The example given was of a marriage, where the couple initially do not know other that much but as the marriage progresses they become soulmates. That made me wonder because I always thought that soulmates are born and are not something that slowly develops after marriage. One soulmate usually senses the other but due to personal ego or some other factors might not be able to accept the other as soulmate and then slowly over time the relationship builds up.

So that made me wonder who is a soulmate? I have taken liberal help from the internet to see if I can find some answers. (Well you all know how important it is for Misti to find answers...Embarrassed..)  ...and have tried to find a relation to Dev and Radhika...  

Recognising Soulmate

"By taking risks," "By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end." - Paul Coelho, Brazilian author, lyricist, director.

Radhika is doing this, hopefully Dev will also join her...the path might not be covered with rose petals, the path might have thorns, the path might also lead to some discovery that either did not want to encounter...

Does a soulmate force one to come out of ones comfort zone?

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. - Elizabeth Gilbert, journalist and author of Eat, Pray Love

Radhika is unknowingly doing this to Dev...and hence Devs strong reaction. 

Is the soulmate the perfect person who will cure everything?

In any soul mate relationship, you will need to let go of the illusion that there is a perfect person waiting for you who will fulfill your every expectation and give your personality everything it desires once you are together. Do not expect your ideal soul mate to be someone who is always loving and easy to get along with, who agrees with everything you say or do, and who brings you a life of ease and comfort. - Sanaya Roman, Soul Love: Awakening Your Heart Centers.

Both Radhika and Dev are looking for the person who will make everything ok...for Radhika it is her KK and for Dev it is his dreamgirl who he has decided to forget and sacrifice...and Dev is not thinking about Radhika the person and Radhika is not thinking about Dev the person. Well Dev might have started to get some inkling into what makes Radhika tick. 

Helps to bring out the real person who is hiding his or her true self.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. - Richard Bach, author ofJonathan Livingston Seagull .

Hopefully this is where the relationship is progressing too...


So these are the thoughts of some other people whose definitions of a soulmate is close to what I feel is what a soulmate should be...not someone who forgives everything that one has done but someone who make one to rise above oneself, accept ones mistakes, face challenges and as a result become someone who is at peace with oneself and be a better human being.

This is just my POV that I wanted to share...If one has any other views that are either similar or contradicting please do share.



Edited by misti73 - 15 May 2011 at 8:11am

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PutijaChalhov IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 2:50am | IP Logged
Misti l liked this post and was thinking about it after reading .You have beautifully put it and compared it with Dev and Radhika.
Even in a marriage people from different backgrounds nature slowly adjust and become slowly used to each other sometimes forgoing someting for one another sometimes sticking to their personal egos then realising it is taking them no where then face lot of problems adjust start their families their journey of life together I dont know how marriages are made in heaven but I do believe in this concept of couples slowly becoming soulmates concept.

Here are some points I gathered.

watch successful marriages carefully and you will see how beautifully role-playing is carved out. Couples quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses and then distribute who does what as they start and raise their families.

They say that happily married couples begin to look like each other as they age and grow older.

While you may be familiar with the old saying, "opposites attract," in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner ' and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.

University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.

The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity.

Zajonc suggested that older couples looked more alike because people in close contact mimic each other's facial expressions. In other words, if your partner has a good sense of humor and laughs a lot, he or she will probably develop laugh lines around their mouth ' and so will you.

Other evidence has also shown that men and women may be initially attracted to partners with similar personalities. In 2006, scientists at the University of Liverpool asked participants in a study to view individual photos of men and women and judge their personalities. The participants did not know who in the photos was married to whom, but the couples that had been together the longest were judged to have more similar personalities. The researchers concluded that, "possessing personality traits that are attractive may be causal in making a face attractive."

So slowly I do think if Dev and Radhika become soulmates and solve their problems and go through their journey  Hope Cvs show a story on those lines which will slowly grow and  the audience will come flocking back.





Edited by chalhov - 15 May 2011 at 2:58am

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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:09am | IP Logged
beautiful post misti
how u described soulmates and above that how u related them with our dev radhika
superb
all descriptions of soulmates are so true
and this reminded me of true love ff of sia where how dev describes relationship how he makes her to open up and share everything with each other

BEAUTIFUL DESCRIPTION

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misti73 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chalhov

Misti l liked this post and was thinking about it after reading .You have beautifully put it and compared it with Dev and Radhika.
Thanks Chalhov.

Even in a marriage people from different backgrounds nature slowly adjust and become slowly used to each other sometimes forgoing someting for one another sometimes sticking to their personal egos then realising it is taking them no where then face lot of problems adjust start their families their journey of life together I dont know how marriages are made in heaven but I do believe in this concept of couples slowly becoming soulmates concept.
Ahh...interesting...but isn't this what you are describing as becoming a soulmate after marriage after slowly knowing each other something like working together with your partner to make the relationship a success. I mean say for example in arranged marriages two people are brought together by family and friends...none know each other and after marriage slowly the process of knowing each other, understanding each other starts...and sometimes the couple get to know each other so well that they almost appear as if they are in sync with each other...but hasn't this development been due to them working together for the relationship to survive? Are they really soulmates...I mean two people who immediately felt a connection to each other? A connection that they might not really pay any attention to but slowly the connection build up on them and at some point they realise that they are feeling this because they are meant to be together.
Here are some points I gathered.

watch successful marriages carefully and you will see how beautifully role-playing is carved out. Couples quickly figure out their strengths and weaknesses and then distribute who does what as they start and raise their families.
Yes this is true but isn't this again something that the couples consciously do to make their marriage a success? Just because they are married to each other?

They say that happily married couples begin to look like each other as they age and grow older.
That sometimes they do...and even act like one another...

While you may be familiar with the old saying, "opposites attract," in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner ' and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.

This I also believe in...that to make a relationship a success the couple usually have similar core values...I mean they might be different as to what their likes and dislikes are...some aspects of their nature might also be different...like one quiet and the other talkative...

University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.

The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity.

Zajonc suggested that older couples looked more alike because people in close contact mimic each other's facial expressions. In other words, if your partner has a good sense of humor and laughs a lot, he or she will probably develop laugh lines around their mouth ' and so will you.

 Regarding partners mimicking their better halves facial expressions and behaviours...isn't that something that a person has subconsciously picked up due to being in close proximity with the other? Kids also do that...they usually copy their parents behaviors and expression. Also this example of good sense of humour thing that this person has quoted...it need not be necessary that the laughter lines that this person has developed has anything to do with his or hers partners sense of humour...what about the fact that suppose this person herself or himself has a very good sense of humour...he or she had this sense of humour even before this partner arrived on the scene...so this person will develop laughter lines and the partner has got nothing to do with it. 

Other evidence has also shown that men and women may be initially attracted to partners with similar personalities. In 2006, scientists at the University of Liverpool asked participants in a study to view individual photos of men and women and judge their personalities. The participants did not know who in the photos was married to whom, but the couples that had been together the longest were judged to have more similar personalities. The researchers concluded that, "possessing personality traits that are attractive may be causal in making a face attractive."
Yes people who are together for long do develop similar traits...but does it have anything to do with being soulmates?

So slowly I do think if Dev and Radhika become soulmates and solve their problems and go through their journey  Hope Cvs show a story on those lines which will slowly grow and  the audience will come flocking back.

Thanks for your thoughts Chalhov...reading a different POV is interesting. 



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misti73 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ekta_bajaj

beautiful post misti
how u described soulmates and above that how u related them with our dev radhika
superb
all descriptions of soulmates are so true
and this reminded me of true love ff of sia where how dev describes relationship how he makes her to open up and share everything with each other

BEAUTIFUL DESCRIPTION

Thanks Ekta. Glad to know that you liked it. 


Edited by misti73 - 15 May 2011 at 9:39am

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PutijaChalhov IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:42am | IP Logged
Thanks Misti loved reading ur responseBig smile and here is  my answer to some of them my POV whether that proximity happens before or after marriage.


Ahh...interesting...but isn't this what you are describing as becoming a soulmate after marriage after slowly knowing each other something like working together with your partner to make the relationship a success. I mean say for example in arranged marriages two people are brought together by family and friends...none know each other and after marriage slowly the process of knowing each other, understanding each other starts...and sometimes the couple get to know each other so well that they almost appear as if they are in sync with each other...but hasn't this development been due to them working together for the relationship to survive? Are they really soulmates...I mean two people who immediately felt a connection to each other? A connection that they might not really pay any attention to but slowly the connection build up on them and at some point they realise that they are feeling this because they are meant to be together.

Yes could be that a couple consciouly work together to make their marriage work but it is also not a easy thing there r couples who stay a lifetime with each other and poles apart with no understanding but together and no soul in their marriage like BB and GD I would call that adjustment. love and companionship being in love can also start after marriage. the connection u mention I think is a rare beautiful thing .Usually most of the love marriages that we see are at work or at college neighbours child hood friends people in close proximity its not as if people see at railway stations or bus stands or on roads that they feel they are soul mates the daily proximity has to be there. nearest strangers  may be meeting at parties or marriages and they may feel  a connection this is my pov.

Without making effort nothing can happen in life and a whole lifetime can pass away doing everything mechanically


Edited by chalhov - 15 May 2011 at 8:48am

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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 8:00am | IP Logged
thx misti

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Posted: 15 May 2011 at 9:18am | IP Logged

Misti l liked this post  about soul mates .you have wonderfully explained it.you have taken your precious time searching about it and relating it to dev and radhika .Thank you so much for this post.

once again misti and chahlov thank you very much for explaining about soul mates and marriage.  I think everybody should  read this.

 

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