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Here's Part 9
PART 9
For the next couple of days Aham's schedule was set and he back to being grumpy. He would leave in the morning and come back late in the evening. The only time he saw Gopi was during the aarti. He wanted to get away from his Gopi-centric thoughts and his conscience: found work the best option. Despite him being in absolute control of himself, there was a sense of calm which descended on him when he was home. Why am I so at peace when I get home? I have had a long day but I feel so relaxed. Are you sure you don't know? Yes, I do. It's the shanti puja which Mom had got done. Is it really?? Are you sure of that?? Yes absolutely what else could it be!! Let me help you here - is it because you know she is around??
Gopi and Kokila finalized on some last minute shopping and returned late at night. Kokila asked Mani if everyone had their dinner and the kitchen cleaned."Ji Naani Bhabhi, except for Aham bhai everyone dined. Kokila went up with Gopi to her room and walked in. "Aham, why haven't you had dinner yet? It is late already, you can work later, come down and dine first" she said. Aham said he wasn't hungry and had a lot to finish for his meeting tomorrow and did not want to be disturbed. Kokila asked Gopi to get him a tray and come down to her room to help her pack.
Gopi set a tray and asked Mani to take it up. Aham heard a knock on the door and saw Mani walk with the tray. He was disappointed. He scowled. Why did she not get the tray? he wondered.
The last time he did not eat she came up to feed him. This trick did not seem to work. "Where's Gopi?" he asked Mani. Mani said that she was helping his Mom pack and left.
Should she not try and make an effort to talk to me. She will leave tomorrow and I wouldn't see her for a whole week.
Yes, but isn't that what you have been doing as well... trying to keep away from her?
Yes, but I have a reason you know, I am getting really sentimental about her, something happens to me every time I see her or even when I am around her, I just can't be myself. I feel like a fool.
Gopi walked in after about an hour or so later, saw the tray untouched.
"Ahamji, why didn't you eat yet?"
Because you were not around, he thought and said "I am not hungry"
"Some warm milk perhaps?" she asked
"No, thank you" he said and resumed whatever he was doing.
Gopi called for Mani and asked her to clear tray and gave instructions for the next morning. So, now she doesn't even care if I remain hungry and starve, thought Aham. He saw that she then got busy with her packing. When done, she went off to bed. Aham could hardly sleep with his stomach grumbling. He lay tossing and turning all night.
Gopi was up early; she could hardly sleep and knew he was finding it hard to sleep as well. She had a urge to go down, get some milk and force it down his throat. He and his arrogance. It seemed like a very long night. She wondered, if she did the right thing by sending the tray away. She knew, if she pushed him a little, he would have eaten dinner. But she did not want him to get the wrong idea. She was scared for herself, she was on slippery ground and she needed to be tough. She freshened up, checked her packing and left the room really quietly; she did not want to disturb an already awake Aham.
Aham did not eat breakfast the next morning and left. He told Kokila that he would come home in time to take them to the airport. Not once did he look towards Gopi. Gopi found his behavior strange. What is wrong with him? Why is he behaving like a kid? , she wondered. She was really worried now. Aham hadn't had anything since last night. She decided to call and ask him to eat something at work. Aham ignored her calls and texts.
He was home, in time to take them to the airport. The ride to the airport was quiet, with the women discussing things that needed to be done as soon as they landed. Aham looked straight up while driving and Gopi was lost in her thoughts. They reached the airport; Aham helped them with their bags. They checked in and were waiting to go thru security. Gopi excused herself and moved towards a book store and Aham walked towards the vending machine to get a drink.
Gopi began to walk towards him. She wrapped her arm around his. Aham was surprised to see Gopi standing next to him arm in arm. She stood latching his arm and said fretfully, "This angry young man look doesn't suit you, you know!! It's a passe and besides it makes you look like an absolute sea monster."
"Hmmm" was all a he said.
She knew this was going to very difficult and she continued to make small talk, "You could at least smile a little, you know", it would make having this conversation so much easier, she continued to herself, "I hate your grumpy look Ahamji, you should smile more often you know" OMG, what am I talking? Have I lost it? "I think you have an awesome smile." What was that!!!
Aham was looking at her, he was just as befuddled as she, what is she trying to do? Will wonders never cease, Gopi telling me I have a great smile. She turned to face him, looked him in the eye, a nervous smile playing on her lips and said, "Please Ahamji," before I make an utter fool of myself, "let's not torment each other", handed him a sandwich and said "please eat".
"I am not hungry Gopi, I will eat when I am and I can take care of myself." Saying this he started walking away.
"I know you can" she said, took her cell phone and put it in his palm "I have no use for it anymore esp. since people choose to ignore my calls and messages. You are all high and mighty, unfeeling and unaffected. But not everyone is like you. People feel, they get hurt and there is only so much they can take, however much they love the person. One can't bear to hear the sound of one's heart breaking day in and day out. I was better of when you ignored me and was oblivious to my existence. I just can't take this anymore. It's a good thing we will not be seeing each other for a while and we will be in time to file the petition, you have been so excited about". Her eyes were brimming with tears, she turned and walked away. Aham was dumbfounded yet again.
He walked back to join the group, he seemed restless. He took Gopi's phone and placed it in her palm saying she forgot it at the store with the book she bought. He held her palm longer than necessary and she kept staring at him. The boarding call was announced and the group moved towards security clearance. Aham kept looking at Gopi, who kept moving away from him. It felt strange, almost as if something important was being taken away from him. He felt void. He had too many unanswered questions and many questions which he did not want to answer.
*************End of Part 9 *****************
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