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Fan Fictions

Come back to me- An AR OS (Page 2)

mijanur IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 December 2010
Posts: 14535

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 7:41am | IP Logged

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Riddss IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 November 2008
Posts: 11141

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 7:53am | IP Logged
nice OS
do write more

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roshni_A Goldie

Joined: 24 September 2009
Posts: 1711

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 7:54am | IP Logged
 its just took my breath away...awesome ...

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z.e.p.h.y.r IF-Dazzler

Joined: 09 May 2010
Posts: 3373

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 8:31am | IP Logged
Hey.. Your One-shot was very unique.. Its a hard life out there for those who serve their country risking their lives for people they dont even know.. and also as you mentioned for people who propagate the game of war. But the people who suffer more are their loved ones, the people who care for them and the people who have to wait for them to come back when they are not even sure that they will.. the uncertainty is what is most painful.. your portrayal of all those feelings was perfect. I'd only like to point out one flaw, if i may do so.. Its just that sometimes the feelings get confused and overshadowed by what I call the 'big words' you use.. Especially, coz there is no need for you to use them, and even if you do, they are not placed correctly.. eg. The words desertion, Saccharine and gawking were used in places where they completely changed the connotation of what you were trying to say.. like i said, not needed at all.. but all in all, loved the climax.. very heart touching still dramatic! It certainly brought out the intensity and tragedy of the love between them! Keep up the good work! Smile

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sweetdesire IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 11 July 2010
Posts: 27484

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 8:38am | IP Logged
Hey dear...Lovely OS...really loved the concept...beautifully written...thanks for the PM..take write more OS...and plz do update ur ff also...

Lots of Love

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-wild- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 13 September 2010
Posts: 3016

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 8:38am | IP Logged
wowww priyanka awsome Os yaar...u expresss sooo much emotion of the people who went far away from thier loved ones...this is sssuperbbb yarrr...amazingly written and describe ...amazing job yaar do write more Os and plz update ur other fic too
love u

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KSG-loverrrr Groupbie

Joined: 28 September 2010
Posts: 136

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 8:50am | IP Logged
thats sooo emotional!
awsum OS...well defined emotions of riddhima..
that was just like..i could feel wat she was! 
plz write moreee of these... Big smile
Thanksss for the PM!


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sejal719 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 07 June 2006
Posts: 8711

Posted: 11 May 2011 at 8:58am | IP Logged
awesome :) loved this OS very very original :)... cant wait to read more so do write soon and thnx for the PM :D

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