Posted: 08 May 2011 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
Have to comment on last 3 updates now! A Happy Mother's Day to u too!!
Sach mein kahan shuru karoon kahan khatam karoon?! The updates r so delicious! Seriously better than Khanak's dishes.
Such common place stuff, like cooking, eating quietly, serving, regular 1 liners in between & then to continue with the silence & then those eye locks conveying more than it meant to do...how can such sequences be romantic but here it is! Every little nuance, gestures, the long pauses, those glances, the unsaid, the silence after saying a word, then a topic very casually changed...all skips my heartbeat when I read them. I seriously simply devour them with the minutest eye & mind & try to absorb it all in.
They r so comfortable with each other, very true as if its an everyday affair his coming to see her, her cooking for him, then their eating together, then chatting softly...doesn't look like these 2 r a little less than strangers who just recently got engaged. They r still knowing each other. But seeing them it looks like they r like this for their entire lives. In compatibility they will score 100 on 100.
The kiss was magical, almost surreal, it was sweet! The way it took its turn was so simple & yet so wonderful that it captivated my heart. The engagement night kiss was romantic & to some extent passionate but this one was calm, serene & gentle as if it was meant to happen. How she opened up slowly in a trance looking at him talking about his enchanting features one by one. Very different from what Khanak usually does but knowing her true self from yesteryears I can see she has kept this side of herself locked from the public eye. Only in intimate moments like this she opens up slowly & then again shuts herself up. These revelations surprises Shaan, fascinates him, tickles him almost to delve deep, to know more, to unlock that door & keep it open forever! This is what intrigues him so much about her.
Ek request hai Aditee, don't get mad, but ur fast typing sometimes get the 'his', 'her', him', 'he', 'she' mixed up & I go back & forth trying to picturise the scene & coming up with a confusion & then trying to sort out the image correctly. This is such a masterpiece that I don't want any blemishes here. Thought of letting u know. Again don't mind, if I didn't point it out then I won't be a true faithful reader. Otherwise I am a fan of ur writing now, u know that!
And the conversation about Sooraj was so beautifully incorporated in the picture that I was spellbound. I so wanted to write to u earlier that when they will go to Ahmedabad will Khanak get an opportunity to take Shaan to the places or house where both Sooraj & she lived, their favorite spots of hang out! Somehow when u r starting a new relationship its essential to bury the past peacefully & build the current one on a new threshold. And its important for Shaan to know about it because it gives a picture of the 'unknown mysterious' Khanak which she keeps it locked up somewhere. That is the true Khanak & then Shaan will be privy to her nature & character more. She sparkles while talking about Sooraj thus giving away about her likes & dislikes. I simply loved it. Wonderfully done. Important segment & yet so subtle & mildly put.
And the end she is jealous of Mahi & his meeting her & almost puts a deadline on his seeing her!
We r getting to see a 'territorial' Khanak now!
And then how she gets disappointed in knowing he will leave & how the loneliness which she preferred always now looks very unappealing & boring, almost flinching away from it. That itself says how much she is enjoying his company now & wants more of him. Both r getting close so slowly & beautifully.
I am happy u didn't make them jump in bed or totally go uncontrollable & later repent in shame & guilt. This is the way to built it up. I at least love it this way! And absolutely at the end of the story the destination would be their ILU's! As I said earlier its their journey towards the destination that holds the charm & beauty for me! Rest will leave it upto u how u paint this whole piece of art.
Kudos to u re! Sach mein what a fabulous writer u r!!
Congrats on this new thread & my best wishes for many such new threads to come. The more threads the merrier it is. Great going!
Edited by lghosh - 08 May 2011 at 7:10pm