**SGP BBC#32** - Page 33

So here we have Rhea (what a perfectly demographically synchronous name) who is the pretty, straight A student. And we have Luv (yes Luv) Nanda, the rich guy with the cool car who is part of the Billionaire Boys Club. Oh yes, before I forget, there's also a teacher who wears backless blouses to class (she is Shehnaz Treasurywala, the writer of this odious material). It's such a travesty that even the one decent contribution to the general vocabulary-s**tty Savitris--gets lost in the welter of brand positioning (oh look, Aldo shoes, Mango top, Diesel jeans, Lakme make-up, and yes, yes, Nine West sandals). It's like being a giant mall or the waterbed of the climax scene. Every where you turn there's a blinding neon sign saying-Dumb Young Ones This Way.

There's a lot technology involved. We're very hip you see. So everyone gets Facebook status updates, speaks to each other through video calls, and puts live footage on the worldwide web.

I'm not giving away much when I tell you that the film is about the girl avenging her two timing boyfriend, and depriving him of his four Cs-which we are told is Car, Cash, Charm and Chamchas. And the whole day and night is spent in trashing a Jaguar, slipping in drugs, strategically sprinkling the boy's Calvin Klein boxers (please note brand positioning) with itching powder, and getting him to dance in a gay bar to the Mutton Song. Because we all know that being gay is the worst thing you can do in a Bollywood movie, unless of course it's a comedy.

We're supposed to laugh at dudes who can make their chests move and girls who can strike deals over clothes.

Between a boy whose pout is better than the girl's and a girl who tries hard to be Dirty Harry, this is a movie that is to be avoided. At. All. Costs.

Luv ka The End? No beginning, bro.

And by the way, the director is called Bumpy. Bumpy? I rest my case.