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Entwined: Part16A : Yere Yere Pausa : 31Aug11

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skorpion

Senior Member

skorpion

Joined: 29 December 2006

Posts: 961

Posted: 14 April 2011 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
A PriDaTastic SS
 *Entwined*

If its destined, no matter how hard u try to avoid it
It will happen

Poster 01 : Tarit Heart Dharini



Poster 02 : Sharan Heart Goldie




Poster 03 : Tarit Heart Dharini





Entwined : Part 01: Jeev guntala ( Jan 2010 )

Entwined : Part 02: Oththancha Mohor ( Feb 2010 )

Entwined : Part 03: Shwaas ( Mar 2010 )

Entwined : Part 04: Aabhaas ( 16 April 2011 )  Pg 02

Entwined : Part 05: Smriti ( 27 April 2011 ) Pg 03

Entwined : Part 06: Ushakkal ( 18 May 2011 ) Pg 06

Entwined : Part 07A: Gappa Bas ( 20 May 2011 ) Pg 08

Entwined : Part 07B: Spandan ( 03 Jun 2011 ) Pg 10

Entwined : Part 08: Sawli ( 12 Jun 2011 ) Pg 11

Entwined : *Poster 01 : Tarit-Dharini* ( 17 Jun 2011 ) Pg 14

Entwined: Part 09:  Swaadhin ( 18 Jun 2011 ) Pg 15

Entwined : Part 10: Haa Khel Sawalyancha ( 25 Jun 2011 ) Pg 18

Entwined : Da Making Of *Bedroom Scene* ( 28 Jun 11 ) Pg 20

Entwined : Part 11: Dhoom Dhadaka ( 01 Jul 11 ) Pg 22

Entwined : Part 12: Arre Deva ( 12 Jul 11 ) Pg 23

Entwined : Part 13: Promo Siggy : Color me Orange ( 15 Jul 11 ) Pg 25

Entwined : Part 13 : Kevha Tari Pahate : ( 30 Jul 2011 ) Pg 27

Entwined : Prelude : Da Untold Chapter : PriDa story

Entwined : Part 14: Soon Maajhi Laadaki : ( 14 Aug 11 ) Pg 30

Entwined *Poster 02 : Sharan-Goldie* ( 16 AUG 11 )

Entwined : Part 15 : Jhoonj Tujya Manachi : ( 19 Aug 2011 ) Pg 32

Entwined *Poster 03 : Tarit-Dharini* (23 Aug 11 ) Pg 33

Entwined : Part 16A : Yere Yere Pausa  : ( 31 Aug 11 ) Pg 35



Entwined : Part 16B : Coming Soon


Its not about getting sumone to click on LIKE icon.
mah satisfaction lie in da knowledge
dat u cud relate to da fictional characters i weave
as i pen down mah imagination.

JIIP'
skorpion.


NOTE:
A long long long time ago... i had made an attempt to write a Short Story of a couple named PriDa. I did update it 3 times...  Time does fly fast.

Today after loging in here i noticed a STICKY !!
A sticky dat screamed RED ALERT on mah attention radar !!
*List of PriDa FF SS OS* , i cudna help but peep in.
ooo and to mah horror der stood mah name under INCOMPLETE ss for PriDa, Entwined.
Sighhh.

Long story short- sincere thanxxX to Kwhaish
for compiling wot u have under dat Sticky thread !!
for giving a gentle reminder to all writers dat sum of der works are pending !!

In an attempt to redeem mah miserable guilt of leaving finks incomplete,
i wud like to renew *Entwined* wid an update soon.

Since da last update was an year old, da thread is locked down.
so here is da RECAP of da earlier 3 updates below.


Edited by skorpion - 30 August 2011 at 12:13pm

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skorpion

Senior Member

skorpion

Joined: 29 December 2006

Posts: 961

Posted: 14 April 2011 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
Recap of the earlier updates of PriDa SS
*Entwined*


Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart

PriDa SS: Entwined part 01 Jeev guntala

Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart

Da ambulance moved through traffic smoothly like a snake on desert sand. Multimillion dollars worth of cars parted faster den da Red sea partition all those yrs back as de heard da blaring alarm, indicating a critical case on da way to da local hospital. It was da weekend. Chaos everywer.
Loud music cud be heard from da neighbouring cars.

Inside da ambulance all one cud hear was da beepings of a black monitor.
Beep --- Beep --- Beep.
But in such a case dat is all dat counted.
the constant beepings must go on !!

Every single member of the 3 team unit dispatched on hearing da 911 call was on alert.
De cud not afford to loose this case wotsoever.
De all watched HIM as he held onto her frail stark white pale hands
perhars giving away HIS life in da hope dat she lived tru

Her eyes wer closed .
He remembered, she only closed her eyes so peacefully, wen he applied sindoor
Her face had a blank SERENE xpression like she was peacefully n happily resting or thinking of him in a DREAMY trance.

He silently whispered, U cant do dis to me
U cant leave me now

His grip on her hand increased almost crushing her palm

The nurse immediately touched his arm, Sir, please. let us do our job.

But, Nurse, cant u see. she promised me, she will never leave me alone. never.
vaada kia hai hmmmne ek dusre se.
hardam saath rahenge.
kya zidd hai iski ab ye.

He turned his face n closed his eyes

White light.
All she cud see was stark harsh white light at da end of da lonesome path
A little alarm going off in da far distance
She cud hear him. HIM, her prince. her knight. her lover. her protector. her husband. her life.
She heard his sobs.
She felt his strong hold on her hands.
why was he crying now. How disturbed he felt.
All she wanted to do was console him
She wanted to let him know, she was alwaz der for him.
She wanted to cradle his head in her arms, jus like a mother wud - her baby
All da pain dat he had suffered wid da loss of his father
she wanted to make it vanish
She wanted to tell him she loved him
She wud if only da white light dimmed a little
It wud jus not let her open her eyes.
She was feeling drowsy now.
Maybe if she  slept it off a little
Maybe if she relaxed a little n
let da harsh white light pass her by
den she wud xplain all dat to him
yes she made up her mind
she started relaxing---

The Beep beep beep on da monitor slowed down
The nurse looked up in alarm
Doctor- we are loosing her  ------------------------

to be continued--

Precap-

Damnini, i swear i will join u n pull u back from werever u are
we will alwaz be together. ALWAZ. u hear me !! Dont u dare leave me !!
Doctor !! Nurse !! do something
Sameer !! Varun !! help her help me god !!
dats wen he knew da meaning of *A chest pain*
He was seeing blurry
Da beeps sounded low in volume
Da pain increased closing in on his sobs
last he heard Varun screaming near his right ear
*Sameer bhaiyya !! Prithvi bhaiyya ko bhi hum khone wale hai* Shocked



Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart

PriDa SS: Entwined part 02 Oththaancha Mohor

Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart

*Ghum ka sagar jo chaahe, to Hmmm muskurate rahe
apni aankhon me ashaaonke deep jalate rahe...*


Ambulance---
The Beep beep beep on da monitor slowed down
The nurse looked up in alarm
Doctor- we are loosing her  ------------------------


2 hr later

she does not seem to be responding positively to da medication Mr Saxena.
perharps if u cud hold her hand
we know how close you two are

da doctor interrupted HIS thots

He had stood still for da last 2 hrs jus watching her face.
All those needles piercing her arm
n all he cud do was watch helplessly
In a trance he walked up to her bed.
sitting on da chair, he held her frail right hand in his grasp

Tears wer now freely flowing down his cheeks
Daaminiii. why. cant u hear me
cant u feel anything
dun u remember our vows

holding her hand between both his, he touched it to his forehead
sliding down he brushed his lips against dem
da tears streamed down washing da 3 joined hands
*It looked like sumone from up der was cleasing dem wid holy water...*

Daaminiii...she stirred. it was not HIS voice. who was calling out to her??
she cud now see a blurry entity calling her tru da white lite
but, she wanted to sleep. relax. she had so many things to tell Prithvi
she cud feel PrithviS presence in da far distant
he was still disturbed
he was panicking for sum reason
Go away - she screamed at dat blurry entity.
i cant talk now
she felt herself pulled towards da white lite
wot are you doing. wer are you taking me
i cant come now. Prithvi needs me
we have jus got together. we have a long way to go
a long lasting lifetime to share together


Daminiii, I am not taking you anywer dear--
she interrupted da voice. cant u hear Prithvi crying
Cant u see his pain, she shouted in anguish. he needs me

Daminiii, Listen.
Dis is not about you my dear.
This call is not for you
You want to go back...go
watch
...da voice pointed out

Damini saxena frowned at her confusion

Real men do not cry. but dat nite he defied dat logic
he cried for her. he cried for dem

*Prithvi !! Mr. Saxena U R Fired* His cell rang.
It was a common joke between da two
long time ago, wen he had first started his job as her personal bodyguard, his first day of work, he had reported late n she had gifted him his walking papers,
saying da now famous words *Mr Saxena, U R Fired*
De had made it his ringtone.

Hello? haa Avni. nahi she is not responding
tum wahi rehna. u r xpecting anytime in dis week
nahii, mujhe kuch sujh nahi raha hai
I need her.
Avniiiiiiiiii....he cud not continue... usse kuch nahi hona chahiye Avni
i... i cant go on widout her.
She has to come back to me
Haan me theek hu. Sameer Varun yahi hai.

He cut da line--

da white lite intensified.
Damini slowly turned away from da lite
she cud now see Prithvi looking at her still form
she felt his pain in her chest
was that wot de called soulmates??
wen one hurt, da other felt it
wen one cried, da other had da unxplained urge to wipe away da tears
she cud not see him like dis
she wanted to stop his pain...
maybe if she pleaded wid da upper gods... jus maybe

Her beepings slowed down
more doctors rushed in around her
Doctor, we r loosing her again...da nurse piped in

Prithvi felt his spine stiffen.
Damnini, i swear i will join u n pull u back from werever u are
we will alwaz be together. ALWAZ. u hear me !! Dont u dare leave me !!
Doctor !! Nurse !! do something
Sameer !! Varun !! help her!! help me god !!

dats wen he knew da meaning of *A chest pain*
He held onto her hand n tried to control his chest ache
He was seeing blurry.
He cud not see her features clearly inspite of the blaring lights in da room
Da beeps sounded low in volume
Da pain increased closing in on his sobs
last he heard Varun screaming near his right ear
*Sameer bhaiyya !! Prithvi bhaiyya ko bhi hum khone wale hai*

Damini saw him collaspe on da floor as he let her hand fall down on da bed
she watched his breathing slow down
she heard his rasp voice whisper da one word he lived for
Daaammmiiinnniii----------------
she watched as his eyes focused on her

Eye-Lock. dats all dat counted in dat one moment.

For da first time in 2 hrs, he smiled.
she smiled back.
For de both had crossed da white lite together.
Forever Entwined.

Da room hummed in silence.
Sameer Varun stood in shock
Doctors Helplessly looked around...

sumwer sumone was playing da old song on der ipod
 in da hospital room nearby
* Hum bane tum bane ek duje ke liye,
Hmmmko kasam lage, Hmmmko kasam lage...
jo tere bin ek PAL bhi jiye*
while a Pheonix flew over da hospital...

to be continued----------------------

Precap

Ye kyaa kar rahi ho tum?
tum yaha kaise
Tum mere Toofaan se durr hi rehna
waise bhi wo tumhe mujhse jyaada pasand nahi karta
U R Fired !!

Raising one eyebrow she smirked at his attitude
sir, apke *GK* errr... i mean General Knowledge ke liye bata du
Mujhe yaha aapke papa, Mr Saxena ne appoint kia hai
to uss logic se..
Technically U cant fire me !!
mujhe aapka saaya banke rehna hai,
aap chaahe...
yaa naa chahe !!
He stormed outta his own room
muttering ye papa bhi na...

*skorpion*

Oththancha mohor:
another word from the Marathi dictionary
it means a treasure from da mouth.

Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart


PriDa SS: Entwined part 03 Shwaas

Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart

Scene 01:
sau saal pehle mujhe tumse pyaar tha mujhe tumse pyaar tha
aaj bhi hai aur kal bhi rahegaa
sadiyon se tujhse milne jia bekaraar tha
aaj bhi hai aur kal bhi rahegaaaa


He stared at da ceiling,
rolled his eyes n scratched his forehead wid his right hand
un-knowingly mirroring his elder Chachus mannerismn
NOT again Maa, he frowned.
Wot was up wid his maa n old hindi songs on B4U channel early in da morn
every time da *awaaz de kaha ho* programme started
she upped da vol n listened to nostalgic songs
bringing on da waterworks.
Hmmmhare ghar me Glycerine bottle ki zarurat hi nahi hai
nodding his head he muttered n woke up.

Avniii, sone bhi do yaara. aaj to Sunday hai
sameer screamed tru his pillow, pulling da comforter over his head
Sameer, its 6am already. n u know how i listen to old songs.
Di ko kitne pasand the ye, tum jaante ho.
Jeej aur Di ki yaad me kho jaati hu me, ye dekhte.

Avni replied in hurt tone

oka baba. vol to low kariyo na. Avni
warna tera chota shaitaan uthke wapas yaha aa jayegaa
fir to Hamhariii shaitaaani ko mauka nahi milega...
Sameer ne nautanki se keh diya

Sameer !! sharam kario !! aur tum to ab uth hi lo...
Yaad hai na aaj shraadh hai unn donon ke naam
aur shaam ko Tarit ki 13th bday party bhi...
bete ki party ki tayyari kon karegaa eh
Varun Roshni aur Sharan kal raat hi aa gaye the
de wud be ready by now.

HAHA. ready n Roshni. bhai tumhari behen hogi...
par tumse to thoda jyada hi jaanta hu me usse.
Varun apna paper padh raha hoga.
10 saal ka bachcha Sharan, papa ko economic times ke phatte seekha raha hoga
aur Roshni dear apne palang pe kharrate maar rahi hogi.

Smirked in Sameer as he woke up to get ready...
-----------------------------------------------------------

scene 02

He waited wid abated breath watchin outta da window
5 more minutes n touchdown.
He was back home after 12 long yrs.
25 now, he jus wanted to feel his motherland embracing him in her arms

Sharan stood outside, in da airport lobby wid searching eyes.
How wud it be to see ur elder brother after such a long time.
Though de wer cousins by relation,
Sharan idolised da ground his brother walked on.
He grinned. Der he was back from London school of Bizness Administration
Tarit bhaiyya was back. Now for good.

Bhaiyya, Sharan Waved wid both hands
Chotte. oi kaisa hai tu. Tarit shouted thru all da passengers
unaware of all da female glances he got, as he brushed passed dem.
to an onlooker, it was a double treat.
Tarit, tall handsome n a body to die for
in Blue jeans full sleeve black shirt folded upto elbows n a darker vest unbuttoned
Sharan, in semi formals. jus like his dad, sporting spectacles.
and a grin to die for
Handsome Hunks Alert at da airport.
it was da best kinda *Bird-A* watching ever.

Bhaiyya Chotte mat bolona. ab me bhi badaa ho gaya hu, Sharan pouted.
Tarit grinned.
Tu nahi sudhregaa. Mama Papa kaise hai Chote chachu aur Chachi??
ab bhi teddy ko chupaate hai tum log??
hahahahaha.
De got into da awaiting car zooming past traffic.
It felt gud to be back --- Tarit thot as he looked outside...

----------------------------------------------------------
Scene 03

Kya papa. 2 din huye nahi aur aap mujhe kaam pe lagana chahte hai
kya yahi dekhne ke liye aapne mammane mujhe bahar bheja tha.
mama. pl aap hi bolo kuch

Sameer, tum bhi na...
before Avni cud complete her pleading...
Sameer interrupte-- Nahi Avni tum isme kuch naa bolio.
*Muftkhor* kahikaa. 2 din se dekh raha hu isse me
paani laao. khana laao. kapde iron karo jhoote saaf karo
bas order pe order diye jaa raha hai
Mujhe kuch nahi sunna hai
Sharan ko dekho kaise papa ka haath bataa raha hai.
Mene iske liye nayi secretary chunn li hai...
chupchaap kalse office aa jaana.

Sameer left da maa-beta open-mouthed as he left da dining room.

----------------------------------------------------------

Scene 04

*sadiyon se tujhse milne jia bekaraar tha, aaj bhi hai aur kal bhi rahegaaaa*

was da last he heard as he sat in da car to goto work.
Ye maa bhi naa itne saalon baad bhi
wahi gramophone ki tooti record baja rahi hai
Maa please channel change kariooooooooooooo------
he shouted outta da open window as da car glided smoothly
thru da Saxena Mansion gates

The first day of office is alwaz exciting.
errr unless u are in NO mood to work.
Being forced to do anything was HIS pet peeve.
upar se na jaane konsi bala aane wali thi uski secretary banne
Ufff papa. He muttered dis-approvingly
standing in his newly decorated office which was once his Bade ChachuS
He stared at da small golden decorative metal box used as a paper-weight.
1-2-3...seconds passed, den he didna know wot happened.
One second da box was on da table
da next second in his hand
n 3rd, wid a grin a mile wide,  he flung it wid all his might at da office door

She did not know wot hit her on her forehead
as she opened da office door on her first day of job
but da next second she lay horizontal staring at da newly painted ceiling.
Sumthing flashed at da back of her mind.
Sumone touching sumones forehead wid his hand...applying sumthing
It was da tiniest flash.
She felt light headed.
As blood started oozing down da center of her forehead wer her hair parted
she heard...sumone say *aap theek to hai na*
she tried to touch da wet liquid
Rukiye !! mera matlab, aap....aap iss chott ko haath mat lagayiye
aapko infection ho sakta hai
she felt him blowing soothing air on her wound or was he breathing life for her, into her, as things went completely blank n she passed out...

Jinhe milna hai, wo to mil hi jaate hai
Hmmm yuhi bahane dhundte hai chupne ke.
Embrace da one who loves u, kya pata, Kal ho na ho.
skorpion

Swhaas, another word from da Marathi dictionary
It means Breath
Sumone sumwer may be happy in da thot dat you are still breathing.
Maybe un-knowingly, u r breathing for dem.



Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart x ----- x Heart



Edited by skorpion - 14 April 2011 at 8:48pm

The following 13 member(s) liked the above post:

malwica2Khwahishamiya121..Waves.....San-Yo...achumenGauravsDbestMru_beeAnn_92Maz.jakhushisankalp_praptiNan08

Mru_bee

IF-Dazzler

Mru_bee

Joined: 25 August 2009

Posts: 4485

Posted: 14 April 2011 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by skorpion

A long long long time ago... i had made an attempt to write a Short Story of a couple named PriDa. I did update it 3 times...  Time does fly fast.


In an attempt to redeem mah miserable guilt of leaving finks incomplete,
i wud like to renew *Entwined* wid an update soon.

Since da last update was an year old, da thread is locked down.
so here is da RECAP of da earlier 3 updates.


Its not about getting sumone to click on LIKE icon.
mah satisfaction lie in da knowledge
dat u cud relate to da fictional characters i weave
as i pen down mah imagination.

JIIP'
skorpion.





ooooooo.. so u can be emotionally blackmailed... nice LOL

I remember this ff of urs very well.. u killed PriDa in the first two updates and got a whole load of unhappy people complaining.. esp Achkann Tongue

Would absolutely love to read the next updates..

-- Mru

The following 5 member(s) liked the above post:

Khwahishamiya121skorpion...San-Yo...Nan08

Khwahish

Senior Member

Khwahish

Joined: 04 February 2010

Posts: 597

Posted: 14 April 2011 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
@panna    yayyyy !!...u r back  ....me bhery bhery happy ...w8ng fr part 4 ...i loooved all the three previous parts...bt cud nt comment as d thread was closed ...sooo glad ur taking up d story again as it was verrry interesting Big smile..

@ mru   kahan gayab thi aap madamji ??...missed u here !!

luv
khwahishSmile


Edited by khwaish.e.arsh - 14 April 2011 at 11:31pm

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

skorpionamiya121...San-Yo...Nan08

Nan08

IF-Sizzlerz

Nan08

Joined: 14 September 2010

Posts: 20767

Posted: 15 April 2011 at 10:39am | IP Logged
OMG PANNA.....Big smile

u tuk dis up again... am soooooo happpyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thnksssssssss

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

skorpionamiya121...San-Yo...

amiya121

Senior Member

amiya121

Joined: 06 April 2010

Posts: 582

Posted: 15 April 2011 at 11:02am | IP Logged
Pannnnaaaa   !!
 
 
 
You had kiilllllledddd..............   PRIDA in this   !!      Ouch
 
and it was so  Heart Wrenching that  i had not even  read the Third part ............... but now i see where you are taking it ............  Gooooood   !!     Smile
 
Now  Eagerlyyyy waiting for the Update   !!       Smile
 
 
 
 
Love
 
Amiya
 
 
@  Mruuuu   :      Joining Khwaish in Welcoming  you Backkkkk    !!      Big smile 

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

skorpionKhwahish...San-Yo...Nan08

..Waves..

Goldie

..Waves..

Joined: 02 June 2010

Posts: 1051

Posted: 15 April 2011 at 11:50am | IP Logged

@Panna- Glad u decided to continue......Loved dis SS sply titles....dey hve really deep meaning......Wondering which Marathi word ur gonna use as Title of nxt part Embarrassed......!!!

Waiting for it.....!!!

 

 
 
@ Khwaish- See ur Mehnat is paying off Wink....really wish it vill bring some more writers out of hibernation TongueEmbarrassed......!!!
 
 
 
 
-Nitika

 

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Mru_bee

IF-Dazzler

Mru_bee

Joined: 25 August 2009

Posts: 4485

Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by khwaish.e.arsh

..

@ mru   kahan gayab thi aap madamji ??...missed u here !!

luv
khwahishSmile


kahan gayab??? main yehiii thi .. sachiiii Tongue ...

-- Mru

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Khwahishskorpion...San-Yo...jakhushisankalp_prapti

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