Baat Hamari Pakki Hai
Baat Hamari Pakki Hai

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My version of C-Night, short story

momma1128 IF-Sizzlerz
momma1128
momma1128

Joined: 15 August 2007
Posts: 16305

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:18am | IP Logged

Maris asked me for my version of SaaVan's c-night if I were a CV, as a question for Bittu of the Week.  Here is my answer:  Momma's SaaVan Suhaag Raat.  I am not much of a writer, but I hope you enjoy all the same.

It finally happened.  After receiving the appropriate treatment, Saachi had finally regained her memory.  In celebration, the Jaisawal's had Shravan and Saachi renew their saat pheras.  They had all left the home to allow the couple alone time for their suhaag raat.


Saachi sat in the middle of the decorated bed.  The lights were dim, candles flickered on the dressing table, night stands and on the book stand, right next to the Prem Sutra (LOL).  Streams of tuberoses and red roses draped over the bed, tenting Saachi in a beautiful cover.  The room was fragrant with the smell of love, passion and longing.

Shravan walked in dressed in his gold sherwani.  His hair gelled back, his eyes drew immediately to her.  He looked at her sitting on the bed in the midst of the canopy of flowers.  A perfect gift sitting in a flower box, just for him.  She looked like a fairy, dressed in a rich red sari of exquisite silk.  Her ghoonghat resting over her perfect brow, revealing a slight smile on cherry red lips.  Her knees were pulled up to her chest, and she rested her hands, ornate with bangles and mehndi, on them.


Saachi turned to meet his gaze.  Her earrings and bangles tinkled in unison.  Shravan stood in awe and slowly closed the door.  He took two steps towards her, then turned around as if to leave.

"Where are you going!?", asked a startled Saachi.

"I have waited so long Saachi, I am not going anywhere.  I am not leaving and I am going to make sure no one can get in."  With that Shravan, LOCKED THE DOOR. (it's about time)


Shravan parted the flowers and sat down next to Saachi.  Slowly, he lifted her ghoonghat to reveal her doe eyes.  He could stare at them all night, but tonight he had other things on his mind.  Saachi lifted her lashes to meet Shravan's stare.  She looked into his chocolate colored eyes, and saw the little flecks of amber in them glow with desire.  They both felt electric.


"Saachi, I have waited for this moment since we burned the wrong contract."

"How romantic, Shravanji!" Saachi giggled.

"No, no, Saachi, I mean" ,Shravan got a bit flustered, "I mean, what I mean is I love you Saachi", he said cupping her face and looking straight into her eyes.

"I love you more than myself Shravanji."


Shravan leaned in and slowly kissed Saachi's waiting lips.  He began with a tentative one.  And when she responded, he drank her sweet taste in.


He raised his right hand and removed the ornaments decorating her hair, all the while never removing his eyes from hers.  He opened the hair clip and her hair cascaded down like a raven waterfall.  With deliberate intent, he moved the hair away from the nape of her neck, making sure his fingers left a trace of where they had been.  He bent down and let his lips follow his fingers' path down her neck.  With his other hand, he undid her necklace and tossed it to the side.  Next, Shravan kissed the top of each ear as he removed her earrings.  Slowly, he brushed her ear lobes with his lips and flicked it ever so slightly with the tip of his tongue.


Saachi caught her breath.  She stroked his arms and moved her hands over his shoulders down his back then back up, lastly running her fingers through his hair.  Shravan was now kissing along her collarbone and slowly moving towards her shoulder.  In a move that surprised Shravan, Saachi shrugged her shoulder, allowing her palloo to fall.


Her skin glowed like soft, milky moonbeams.  Saachi unbuttoned Shravan's sherwani.  She caressed the warmth of his skin as she heard him whisper ,'I love you'.  They both leaned back onto the bed.  While sharing the passion of this newfound closeness, Saachi's hands moved in under Shravan's sherwani and explored.  Her hands stopped when she felt something hard.  Her eyes flew open.  Saachi grabbed the hard object.


"Shravanji!!!  What is this!?"

"Come on Saachi, you know what it is."

"I know what it is Shravanji, what is it doing here!"

"Well, where else would I put it Saachi?" ' questioned Shravan.

"I'll show you.", said Saachi, and with that she pulled out Shravan's cell phone, scampered half-dressed across the room, over to the balcony and tossed it out into the fountain. (chee chee on all of you whose minds went elsewhere! LOL)

"NO DISTURBANCES!", she giggled and quickly ran back into Shravan's arms.


They kissed each other deeply.  Shravan explored every part of Saachi.  He caressed her back, he took in the scent of her and was amazed at how soft she felt under his fingers.  He outlined and memorized every part of her.  He was in ecstasy.  Saachi was amazed at how willingly she responded to each of Shravan's gestures, kisses and touches.  She let herself get lost in the luxury of sensuality.  She discovered every ripple of every muscle on his body and kissed every scar he had showed her that drunken night in Mumbai.


Every single cell in their bodies was charged.  They responded to each other 's bodies, rising and falling with the waves of pleasure they felt, gratifying the passion that had burned within their hearts for months.  They were as one, bodies, fingers, limbs, hearts and souls intertwined.  It was complete rapture.


The next morning, Shravan woke up to find an angelic Saachi sleeping next to him.  He smiled as he watched her hand on his chest rise and fall with each of his breaths.  He thought back to the night in Mumbai when they had woken up in a similar situation and chuckled to himself, "Hua ki nahin, I was an idiot."  Saachi opened her eyes and looked up to find that beloved crooked smile on Shravan's face.


"What's so funny?" she asked.

"I was remembering in Mumbai, we woke up and kept thinking hua ki nahin.  I know now, we would have definitely remembered if kuch hua."

Saachi chuckled with a naughty smile, "Achha?  I don't know what you mean, Shravanji, I don't remember.  Hua ki nahin?"

Shravan looked down at Saachi with his devilish grin and mischievous twinkle in his eye, "Oh teri ki, you don't remember hua ki nahin?  Thik hai, let me remind you!"  And with that Shravan dove under the blankets.  Saachi let out a squeal of joy.

Edited by momma1128 - 12 April 2011 at 1:00pm

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fariya92Feeniesavan_fangudia7Cinderella100izanaminiru273Mr.Zkdesigirl2sangeeta9ktmsAanchal15maris08chammak_challoash91-Jahnvi-anasuya43

maris08 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:30am | IP Logged
woww   hipppeieeeeeeeee superb great Anu u have excelled this time...
 
 
YES YES YES hua hua hua ..finaly ab toh yeh  akbhaar mein chapni chahiye;headlines hoga hamesha kelye..
 
BTW
 
Her hands stopped when she felt something hard.  Her eyes flew open.  Saachi grabbed the hard object.
 
Shravanji!!!  What is this!?"

"Come on Saachi, you know what it is."

"I know what it is Shravanji, what is it doing here!"

"Well, where else would I put it Saachi?" ' questioned Shravan.

"I'll show you.", said Saachi, and with that she pulled out Shravan's cell phone, scampered half-dressed across the room, over to the balcony and tossed it out into the fountain. (chee chee on all of you whose minds went elsewhere! LOL)

"NO DISTURBANCES!", she giggled and quickly ran back into Shravan's arms.


Haahaaaaaaaa   rofl lol am laughing so madly tears in my eyes.Only u can come up with this..Anu thusssi great ho!!!

ClapThumbs UpROFLLOLBig smile

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gudia7Aanchal15ash91anasuya43momma1128

izanami Goldie
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Posts: 1419

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:34am | IP Logged
Anu, what can I even say? It was freaking fantastic, one hundred million billion times better than the flowers and candles, and I just LOVE your Shravan voice! You completely know his character and you write him so well, I feel like I'm seeing him on my TV screen right now rather than reading his actions and words on my computer. Wonderful!

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momma1128

chammak_challo IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 6046

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:39am | IP Logged
omg Anu this is too good !!! toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooodddEmbarrassed

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momma1128

ktms Goldie
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Joined: 24 November 2010
Posts: 1765

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:48am | IP Logged
anu, finally  their suhaag raat hui here. you are an amazing writer.wish they had a cnight like this in the show.its really nice all the things which usually disturbed them have been taken care ofLOL.
 
once again very well written anuClapStarThumbs Up

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momma1128

sangeeta9 Goldie
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Joined: 05 November 2010
Posts: 1611

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 9:48am | IP Logged
ANUUUUUU YOU ARE TOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that cell phone part!!! ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

I was like WTH IS THIS!!!! SillySillySillySilly

IT WAS AHHHMAAAAZING!!!!! 

gonna add this to memorable posts ASAP!!!!!!

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momma1128

ash91 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 April 2011 at 10:04am | IP Logged
OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!! this was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anu, you are so damn good at it!!! after reading this i actually feel as if "finally ho gaya!!!"LOLLOL it couldnt be better than this...it had every element in it...i was ROFLing when that cellphone part cameROFLROFLROFL and really liked the specific mention of locking the door, cellphone and 'hua ki nahi'...LOLLOL

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momma1128

keaun Senior Member
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Posts: 248

Posted: 12 April 2011 at 10:47am | IP Logged
Brilliant writing.

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momma1128

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