Saath Nibhaana Saathiya

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Saath Nibhaana Saathiya
Saath Nibhaana Saathiya

Why Gujarati's are like this......

malinn Goldie
malinn
malinn

Joined: 31 August 2005
Posts: 1167

Posted: 21 March 2011 at 11:09am | IP Logged
I think there are many people who wonder why Kokila behaves like this towards her bahu's..... which seems abusive by nature.......
 
Well......here is an explanation....
 
My mother used to say..... that in the olden times.... when the bahu's were merely small girls with a lot of play on their minds....... the saas used to spend the first couple of years or so training them........ like a potter...... moulding them into the desired shape...... My mother used to say that the new bahu is like the Mitti..... without shape..... and then the saas slowly shapes her......
 
So, they are made to work when it is play time........ when all the family is enjoying...... the bahu's have to sacrifice their own fun to look after the interests of the new family...... going out is always allowed only after taking permission from the elders in the family...... going to the mother's house is frowned upon.......
 
It seems like the saas is a dragon to the new bahu...... but slowly and gradually...... they learn all the customs of the household...... they also start loving the new family while away from their own...... The new bahu also understands that the saas does laad to her and loves her (without showing it to her)...... Just like Gopi knows that Kokila loves and dotes on her......
 
Even if there is a washing machine or maid in the house...... the bahu's are taught to do the housework so that they never fear the "bad" times if there are any....... also while they would be extremely lavish in all the things in life..... the saas would be very strict with the bahu to teach her to be thrifty...... again the rules that apply to the new bahu would be different from the daughter..... it is the saas who has to mould the bahu in the ways of the household..... which is why Kokila is OK with Urmila teaching Kinjal in her own way......
 
Its difficult for us to understand this possibly...... but people of the previous generation would identify with them and agree that its correct.......
 
If you note......Kokila or Hetal are "free" from such tortures...... but Kokila has made references to baa teaching them when they were new........ its the custom of olden Gujarati families...... and its not out of hate or power...... its about teaching them culture and values in their own ways......
 
Automatically, after some time...... the saas stops ruling over the bahu ...as the bahu learns everything and takes all the responsibility naturally on her shoulders..... the house runs smoothly...... and then they have an absolutely free hand with their time and money...... then they are not questioned..... Just like Hetal and Kokila.....
 
I hope this post helps......

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HansaN IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 18 January 2010
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 11:25am | IP Logged
it does help. different people, different culture. i myself dont know the gujarati's culture but by seing the serials now i have know the culture
avivakirk IF-Sizzlerz
avivakirk
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Joined: 25 October 2010
Posts: 11631

Posted: 21 March 2011 at 11:37am | IP Logged
Thanks for giving us a picture of traditional Gujrati households. yes , this was the scenario in many parts of India. Medicine though bitter does good for the body whereas sugary stuff can cause harm..
We had servants when I was growing up . Mum wanted me to focus on studies only. When I got married I didn't know to cook. It was a horrible time in my life. I had to learn a lot of stuff. i live in Canada & we don't have servants. You have to do everything yourself. I'm glad i learned to cook & care for the home. Then only a house becomes a home.
I don't see Rashi or Gopui cleaning toilets or gardening. They are in the kitchen  cooking or cleaning.Learning at any age shouldn't stop.
yes, I admit the young brides should have fun too. it shouldn't be about work 24/7 but lighter moments also.
mannisha Senior Member
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Joined: 12 April 2005
Posts: 605

Posted: 21 March 2011 at 11:39am | IP Logged

Saathiya is simply a depiction on one Gujarati family and not  a representation of the entire community.  I am Gujarati (one who grew up, educated and resides in England) and Saathiya is in no way reflective of the families I know here.

While I think there may be shades of Saathiya in some families in India, I can't see many Gujarati girls (even the illiterate ones) putting up with Kokila and Ahem.  The representation of Gopi is regressive which even my mum agrees with.
 
Just my thoughts!
 

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malinn Goldie
malinn
malinn

Joined: 31 August 2005
Posts: 1167

Posted: 21 March 2011 at 11:41am | IP Logged
Totally agree..... The bahu's must have time for fun too... In a serial, situations are exaggerated for shock value and TRP's..... In real life, it's a bit more flexible.... Unless the saas is really a dragon....
simibrar1990 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 20 January 2011
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
thanks for sharing the gujrati culture.....but in today also saas ares not think that coming girl a new house is like to be her daughter....if saas thinks that she is my daughter...then i think condition will not worse...she forget her own days when she was come new in the house....

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malinn Goldie
malinn
malinn

Joined: 31 August 2005
Posts: 1167

Posted: 21 March 2011 at 2:01pm | IP Logged
Simbrar.... Very valid point.....

But here, that's what they feel..... that a daughter is different from a bahu.... While a daughter has no responsibilities, till she gets married.... So, a bahu has only responsibilities..... Both Urmila and Kokila, treat their daughters differently and their expectations from their bahu is different.... It's the same thing as the difference in your son and damaad..... Damaad is always treated special and with respect...... While a son has all the responsibilities.....

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ShellJA IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 6:40pm | IP Logged
Hi Sonal,

Thanks so much for adding your perspective of the traditional Gujarati old fashioned values this show is trying to show. 

Life everywhere is so busy and most people no longer live in the extended families as shown on SNS.  But it is a good reminder of what life was like in these types of family organizations and probably is still the case in some areas.

However, regardless of how modern we become or what your background is, your daughter will always be your daughter and your Bahu or DIL will never take that spot.  they may come close but never replace them. 

Doesn't matter how much we mock the show here on the forum this show has been in the top 5 for a very long time.  So obviously it is hitting some cords for a lot of people out there!

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