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DOTW: Raising Children

droopy_asleep Goldie
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 12:43am | IP Logged
We as a team have analyzed Dutta, Nakusha, Baaji the siblings and their relationships. But one relationship has always intrigued me and that of a mother. Being a mother myself, I have always wondered, that the most difficult challenge in one's life is to raise a child, because you are responsible for the child's outcome and also to give them a fulfilling life.
So, this week's discussion, is Aai Saheb.

1. Has she been a good mother to her children?
2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing?
3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?
4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?

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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 1:02am | IP Logged
Hayye and I thought you were talking about Dutta's football team...
1. Has she been a good mother to her children? No, she hasn't..I think she's tried..but she hasn't been a good mother....if she was one, then today Kala wouldn't be what she is..Roops wouldn't be so confused and lost...Dutta would have had a better education
2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing? Yes, sort of..maybe carelessness...I think AS was just too involved in feeding them, etc., that she forgot the bit about actually loving and spending some family itme with them...and Kala felt neglected
3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts? She should have objected...she should have been stricter..but then maybe she was just thinking that she has to look after 3 girls, get them married etc...
4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently? She should have taken someone's help....and she should have been stricter, with all 4 of them...and she should have taken care of them equally, and she should have worked..like bahar jaake kaam..and let the kids cook for themselvesLOL


Edited by Suvi7884 - 24 March 2011 at 4:07pm

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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 10:15am | IP Logged
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
I can't believe that I'm going to try and discuss AS, but here goes LOL Very interesting topic of choice, Harshita :P

Originally posted by droopy_asleep

1. Has she been a good mother to her children? 

I think AS is a good person at heart, very selfish and faint-hearted, yes...but for the most part, she has always intended good from her end...but there's a difference in being a good person or 'not a bad person' and being a good MOTHER...like you said, I think this is the most difficult challenge in life...to be able to inculcate the RIGHT qualities in a child, to make him or her a fulfilled human being, to stimulate the mind and conscience at the same time...and AS has failed in that sense...she is a BRAVE woman to take on her orphaned nephew after the circumstances in which her husband died, to do so when their financial and emotional stability was very shaky...she intended well, but she did not have the chops to execute the whole thing successfully...she neglected Kala to a huge extent to make her what she is today...AS might not think so, but Kala did and that means there is some truth to the whole situation. And definitely there is truth to it, because even I as a viewer can see her overwhelming bias for Dutta...and it's not hard to see why her daughters, and especially Kala might have turned into a monster because of it, especially being ELDER and then a daughter at that. So firstly, AS was not able to do JUSTICE between her children...that is a fault, most probably unintentional and a very human one at that. 

Secondly, she let Dutta get into a world of crime. Now many may say that this choice reflects on Dutta's own character and not AS, BUT...AS, being his mother, had SOME control over him. She did not have physical power to stop him from picking up a gun, yes...but she did have the power to guide him to the right thing and show him the positives in life after Seema. Dutta is a difficult child, but with enough tact and wisdom, I think one can get through to even the toughest of children...she needed to sit with her son and show him that he was SELF-DESTRUCTING. If he didn't listen, she needed to start the darao-dhamkao shtick LOL The emotional blackmailing...anything...anything to stop your kid from becoming a killer. We didn't see this in LTL because of time constrains and vagueness anyways associated with Dutta's ascension to the heights of his kingdom, but it seems AS accepted it. She shouldn't have. Here, she failed at showing the RIGHT PATH to her children. 

So those two things...being just, and having the ability to instill and stand for the right thing at the right time...in my opinion, AS has lacked them, and thus today she is witnessing the stale air of the storeroom LOL So bottom line: No, she was not a good mother to her children because she failed to instill the most important things in herself and in them with regards to the relationship they share.

2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing? 

To some extent (very much actually...), it explains the CAUSE of Kala's problems and her psyche...but AS did not tell Kala as a child to put snake poison in her purse in order to inject people at choice or to keep salts and spices at hand to torture others...she did not tell Kala to hate her brother or to kill him...rather only the contrary, so everything that came out of Kala came out of herself...those emotions, those plans, those executions...Kala's own being and conscience led her to it. AS did injustice, but she did not outright bring her kids up 'poorly' or planned for them to be the spawn of the devil LOL Kala machinations reflect only on her own individual decay, mentally and spiritually, which she led herself to. Despite ANY kind of upbringing by AS, she could have veered her life into a POSITIVE direction, but she didn't...she chose to stay back and create a hell for all of them. That is only to lay at her feet.

3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?

Definitely. For a religious person, someone who is supposed to have a HEIGHTENED sense of consciousness and sensitivity, it's amazing that AS 'lives' with her son's sins and accepts them without trying to push for a different life for him. Maybe she thinks that if she prays enough, she will absolve for his sins too :shrug: People delude themselves with all kinds of things according to what pacifies their desires. We saw this kind of a thing in Subbu too...she prayed for a killer to 'undo' his wrongdoings...

It brings up that question about Nakku too...although their (DN's) relationship and her efforts are more in the 'reformatory' space...so there can be some excuse still, that she has only tried to calm Dutta down and make him more human again through her faith...but the question stands, how do these people justify this to their God? Do they believe in their hearts that Dutta is a fighter for the truth, for the well-being of people because he is intrinsically GOOD in his being...maybe they think the end justifies the means...it depends at the end of the day I guess on what and how much you can live with...and then again, a person can get used to anything...so maybe for them, it has become a lifestyle which they accept and think too settled to get out of. 

4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?

If AS ever started over...firstly, she should have given equal attention to all her children, no matter whether the girls or Dutta. Then, she should have tried to educate them and encouraged them towards academics, even if by working jobs herself. Lastly, when Dutta got his heart broken by Seema (boo hoo LOL) she should have given him one tight slap and told him to man up and take care of his family with all that money that he earned to buy the kholi LOL AND, she should have paid more attention to Roops, who is very fickle in opinion but could have been guided to a strong personality...plus, keeping an eye on her children (ET's drinking escapades) wouldn't be bad either...less time with the mala in front of the idol, and more time carrying out raids on her children's rooms LOL


Edited by make-believe - 21 March 2011 at 9:31pm

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Posted: 22 March 2011 at 10:54am | IP Logged
Nice topic, Harshita! LOL..... AS the great pendulumWacko......Fatty has pretty much written all that there can be but I'll type out a few of my thoughts on the subject too


Originally posted by droopy_asleep



1. Has she been a good mother to her children? I think her intentions are good on a basic level....but she hasn't always managed to BE a good mother.....many times she's shown selfish tendencies in what she tries to justify as being "protective" towards her children especially Dutta but as a HUMAN BEING she fails then.....as is obvious given how quickly she changes judgement about Nakku even after having SEEN what all Nakku did for Dutta. She cares a lot for Dutta but she doesn't seem to have a full understanding many times of what would REALLY be good for him.....BEYOND her pooja paath/pandit explanationsLOL....I guess that's part of her superstitious streak.


2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing? No, not really.....Kala seems to have been BORN with a twisted mind that was just LOOKING for scenarios to justify its psychoticnessLOL......AS doesn't really seem to have neglected her kids much and seems to have tried to be there for all of them equally....to the extent she is capable of....lol...but KALA wanted more....she wanted the most importance it seems and when she didn't get that, her selfish, psychotic tendencies just got worse.....it's like her basic character flaws just intensified and brought her to where she is today.....I wouldn't really blame AS much for that.....Kala likes to twist things in an extreme manner to justify herself.


3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts? LOL this is a case of AS having conveniently selective memory....aam khao, guthliyon ke daam mat puchho typesLOL......AS doesn't seem to have been much of an enforcer towards her kids since their childhood.....and Dutta was the only male in the family so when tragedy struck them, AS couldn't be strong enough to take care of all of them and not even strong enough to stop Dutta from moving towards the path of crime......I can picture her offering token objection at best and then just letting things be as their life got better and better with more luxuries and comfortsLOL.....she shows random guilt once in a blue moon but again that's token at best....the writers never gave her much depth on this front....maybe for the convenience of storyline.....Nakku was the one who was truly supposed to understand that pain and trauma for Dutta. AS was too busy "aai jagdambe-ing" all over the placeLOL Too much pooja paath but not enough focus on the ACTUAL problems of your kidsLOL


4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently? I think the only thing AS would have done differently was tried to catch Kala early before she went over the deep endLOL.....maybe been a more alert mother.....it seems to really disturb her that THIS is her daughterLOL

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Posted: 27 March 2011 at 9:32am | IP Logged
Originally posted by droopy_asleep

We as a team have analyzed Dutta, Nakusha, Baaji the siblings and their relationships. But one relationship has always intrigued me and that of a mother. Being a mother myself, I have always wondered, that the most difficult challenge in one's life is to raise a child, because you are responsible for the child's outcome and also to give them a fulfilling life.
So, this week's discussion, is Aai Saheb.

1. Has she been a good mother to her children?
 
Overall she has been a good mother I think eventhough she is very weak woman.

2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing?
 
No...Kala wasnt taught all this. This is how she is.

3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?
 
Yes I think so its a sort of double standard. But I think overall AS is a very weak personality. Babi and Naku despite being less educated and coming from even less priviledged backgrounds are stronger women.
Both Dutta and Kala in contrast to her are extremely strong personalities. It takes great resolve to tame them. Naku had that in her so she was able to finally tame Dutta. Kala didnt get that kind of a person either in her mother or her husband who are both idealistic but are too weak minded.

4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?
 
She should have kept a very close eye on Kala the only kid who remembered how her father died. During Dutta's heartbreak phase she would have realized at some point the route he is taking. Then she should have given him 2-4 thappad. If that didnt work then she should have indulged in emotional blackmail and ensured he doesnt continue in his life of crime. Leela, Rups are both a bit like AS-weak personalities who get easily influenced by the strong personalities like Dutta or Kala. She could have easily played a positive influence in their lives...got them occupied with some job and diverted them from Kala's influence. After their marriages AS should have sent her daughters to their in-laws.

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