Posted: 24 April 2011 at 9:59am | IP Logged
Chapter 21...#You are no better# her words kept echoing in his mind.#She is right in a way...i shouldn't have married her...but how can she consider me equal to those evil relatives of hers...is my doing that bad?...aur usne mujhe unhe maarne se bhi roka...why does she so damn care for them?#...Guddu was furiously clenching his fists not mindful of the direction he was going...he was brought out of reverie by Kukkans voice which seemed to be shouting angrily...G headed in its direction...Kukkan,Jabbu along with rest of his clan where in some kind of scuffle with a local vendor..."Lo Bhaiyya aa gaye...ab dikhawo apna tewar bhaiyya ke saamne" Jabbu said angrily to the man..."Ha dhikawoonga...mein aaj se kisi ko paise nahi doonga...chahe woh tumhare yeh bhaiyya hi kyun na hon" the man spat back...G's foul mood worsened further...he went and grabbing the man by his shoulder shook him "Nobody has been born in Kannauj till today to defy me...get that in to your thick skull ...nobody speaks back to Guddu Shukla"..."Offcourse who will dare to Guddu Shukla does not obey God even right Gudduji" Rhunjhun said in a steeled voice...she had come looking for G when he hadn't returned home afterthe college fest..."No one should defy you becoz you are above God...or better yet because they are likely to end up as mincemeat...aren't you ashamed of using brute force on someone weaker than you" her eyes were looking stricken...she had thought that G had genuinely changed...he was concentrating more on his new venture in Delhi...he was behaving more civilly with people...talking more civilly...but here he was back to being the old Guddu Shukla she loathed...she didn't want him to go back there...he would hurt Bauji by doing that #what about you won't you be hurt..her inner voice asked#..."Yes you are right i am shameless,a felon,a thug...and your dearest Mama's are pure people...i am Ravan while they are all avataars of God right?..."he asked her his voice filled with sarcasm..."I didn't support them...but before looking at others just glance at your own soul Gudduji...at the loads of sins you have done...i just came here to ask you to come home#come home to your heart# she added in mind..."I am not coming anywhere you go wherever you want to"G said irritated with her...he walked away from her but turned back to find her standing there still...he knew she was stubborn and wouldn't go away untill he got home...frustrated with her and angry with himself he headed home...Rj was serving dinner to Dinanth and sulking Guddu...she was putting up a smile while actually unhappy inside...she had decided to leave the safety of her Sasural...Bauji was fine...he could look after himself now...but she was worried for Guddu...the small changes in him had put her worries to rest earlierbut seeing his behaviour in the market the worries resurfaced...G needed to be there for his father...he should change into a better man...she had decided to talk to him after food...R entered his room timidly...he was in a foul mood and she didn't want him to shout down the house..."Guddu ji...i have decided to leave" R said in an even voice...G was brought out his dark mood and felt like someone punched him"What..where i mean why now?"...R took a deep breath"Because everything is fine now...Bauji can take care of himself,,,...you have to just pay a little attention to him...my job was to nurse him and i did it...so i guess its time to go"She shrugged...#how the hell can she speak so casually about leaving...is she made of marble...doesn't she feel sad...but why am i sad...why do i feel like holding het back...i don't see her as my wife...she was bound to go but why does it hurt#G's heart was in turmoil...Rj was in noless state ...her mind was warring with her heart..."Why are you telling me this you should have just gone or are you expecting payment"G said with contempt but was actually masking his hurt...R looked dhocked...#Does he think that lowly of me...that i would ask payment for helping my family...but offcourse this isn't my family...he doesn't see you as family#...tears welled up in her doe eyes.."Gudduji i am not that cheap...i helped Bauji because ilove him...i never want anything but his blessing ...i helped you because "she paused for a moment"because itwas my duty as a wife...i thought it right to inform you that i am going...but please i have a request before going...please take care of Bauji...don't hurt his feelings by being your old self...please change for him atleast"R pleaded..."You don't need to teach me what to do...i can take care of my father you are free to go Rhunjun Mishra"...she winced at the change of her surname...was he throwing her out of his life?...The following morning Rj took Dinanth's blessing before going...the old man was tearful...he had asked her to stay back for his sake but knew that it was lame...his son and her seemed to be ready to go separate ways...they were not even glancing at each other...Guddu accompanied Rj to the bus station out of fear for her safety and also because his father asked him to...Mahadevi was waiting for her sister...Rj smild at her"Thought you would miss my message"..."I would have but fortunately Diya's call came in when you messaged that night so i saw it...Di where are you heading to?"Maha was serious..."Don't worry about me Maha...i have contact with few of my old freinds...one of them gave me the address of an orphanage...i contacted them through phone...they have agreed to take me in with a job"Rj smiled with a tinge of sadness...at the mention of orphanage both Maha and Guddu looked sad ..."Di you will be okay there right...i mean its a good place na?"Maha was unsure.."I'll be with people.."..."Di you are not an orphan...unless you considerme and Amma dead"Maha said visibly hurt..."Nopagli...thats not what i meant...offcourse i have a family...you,Amma,Bauji..."she glanced at G...for a few seconds their eye locked...the message in them was clear...#what about me?...what am I to you Rhunjun?##Do you even consider me as a freind forget family Gudduji#...Mahadevi felt the tension between them...is there something between them? she wondered ...the bus to Kanpur was ready to leave...Rj boarded and was waved off by Maha while Guddu looked on with a longing evident in his eyes...they stood there long after she was gone...When Maha turned to go...G asked out of courtsey"Would you be able to go alone?"..."I'll be fine"for somereason she didn't snap at him...but before going turned to face him and asked"The question is would you be able to go alone?"
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