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Raindrops - A Story || Last Chapter : Page 50 (Page 14)

JaeeDevRathore Goldie
JaeeDevRathore
JaeeDevRathore

Joined: 21 September 2010
Posts: 1046

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 12:46am | IP Logged
Originally posted by princez_94

Jaee, I don't know what to say... Firstly I love all ur titles of ur ffs, they are unique... And i'm in love with this one too... Coming to the story or stories, i absolutely loved them, how 2 stories very different yet common...Thank you so much Laiba ...
 
Chapter 1
The first one seems like a really sad one, about betrayel, true love...betrayed by everyone... It's seem sreally intense...
for the other one, it seem like a fairytale come true, a romantic entry a dreamy world of Anna & Chris a very sweet start... Embarrassed Ali and Saba too were in a dreamy world and now they are picking up the broken dreams and Anna and Chris have just started falling in love - they have yet to understand that love is not easy ....
 
Cahpter 2
Itni dardanak kahani... they are not together still their hearts are connected, there eyes might betray them but there hearts can they only know one thing... If one is alive then the other must also be... Embarrassed Ali and Saba are two bodies but one soul - they have reached the state where survival without each other is just not possible - you have chosen right words to explain their story ...
 
There first meet was very strange one, not at all a normal one...But a very nice one, it looked like their hearts connected at the first sight... The last lines said by Saba was Clap... Beautiful Jaee.... Indeed falling in love with a murderer is strange ... yes the hearts connected and they just got attracted to each other as the time went ...
 
Saba & Ali two starngers met under strange circumstances, not a word exchanged just the volume of their eyes spoke... And a year later everything is changed...both of them hoping that the breath their breathing every second would be the last so that they could re-unite... But the world is cruel...2 lovers not destined to meet as of yet...
The past flashbacks are really sweet, how he  so strong that he can protect her from the worlds evil eyes but still loose hi senses by once looking into her eyes...Embarrassed Laiba, you perfectly defined the connection between Ali and Saba ...
 
And on the other side Anna-Chris so lost in each other, not caring about the world around them... such sweet love... the way he runs after her just to give her a rose was really cute....Embarrassed 
 
The most beautiful stories i ever read... Really beautifully written, u describe the emotions so well from a happilly in love couple to a dardanak couple who world parted...Clap Jaee this is truly one of ur best piece of writing...Embarrassed
 
Out of the both I feel more connected to Saba & Ali... Not to be very biased on the very start but it something about them... I read both but how u described the characters of Saba & Ali... just wow...Clap Ali and Saba have gone through the worst but Chris and Anna - they are just at the beginning and have already started walking on the former couple's path - the glass can shatter and unfortunately, they have no idea about it ...
 
I'm already in love with this...This beautiful Jaee...Hug
Thanks a lot for the PM...HugI know you just updated today but when is next update???Ermm Thank you Laiba for such a beautiful comment Hug
 
-Laiba


Edited by -jaee- - 23 March 2011 at 12:57am

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.SilentPrincess

JaeeDevRathore Goldie
JaeeDevRathore
JaeeDevRathore

Joined: 21 September 2010
Posts: 1046

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 12:47am | IP Logged

Desire

 

Mumbai, 25th October 1998

 His hands and feet were tied with rope as he lied on the slab while the inspector thrashed him with staff making deep marks on his back ... But he didn't feel any pain while his eyes were only staring at the rainfall he could see from the little rod-window of the prison .... He closed his eyes whispering, "Saba ..."

 New Delhi, 25th October 1998

 At night, it was raining outside the room while she screamed and shouted lying in her bed ... Tears streamed down her eyes as she kept shouting, "ALI!!!!!" She held her pillow in her fist and whined ... She stamped her feet on the bed violently and her face had turned red ... Her voice shrilled while she kept screaming his name but all she got in return was silence and the sound of the rain ...

 Mumbai, 31st August 1997

 She was running in the middle of the road in heavy rainfall while several goons were right behind her ... She saw him standing on the footpath with his head lowered and gun in his hand ... She rushed towards him and gripped his wrist and touched her forehead on his shoulder ... "Ali ... Ali ... wo ... wo ..." she stammered but before she could say anything further, he kept his finger on her lips and just glared at the men who were troubling her ... "Bhai ... bhai ..." Ali clenched his teeth and shouted, "Dobara iske paas bhi dikhaayi diye na to jaan se maar dalunga!!!!" She gripped his kurta even tightly getting scared by his voice ... She could clearly hear their retrieving footsteps and as he started pulling out of her grip - she hugged him by putting her arms around his waist and he could feel tears falling on his kurta - he didn't know what to say and just embraced her in his brawny arms to never let her go ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mumbai, 1st September 1998

As she stood singing prayer with any others in the church, she felt someone poking at her shoulder ... She opened her one eye to see who it was and was shocked to see HIM cheekily smile at her ... She glared at him and put her finger on her lips to show him to be quiet ... She started praying again but he poked her again, she huffed and tried to ignore him when he bent near her ear and whispered, "Would you honor me by joining me for a dinner tonight?" Hey eyes widened,  immediately turning towards him was about to say something but he kept his hand on her mouth and softly said, "Please ..." and she felt goosebumps rising and softly nodded ... She started trying to concentrate on the prayer when he swiftly kissed her cheek and went away ... She was stumped and didn't know how to react ... She touched her cheek softly and her face glowed; increasing her beauty by leaps and bounds ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mumbai,  5th November 1998

He was deeply bruised and wounded and the sunlight coming through the window disturbed him and woke him from his nap ... As he stared at the window, his mind went back to her ... A smile filled with pain crept on his lips as he softly whispered ... "Teri zulfon ki chaanv mein guzre the wo sunehre din ... Ghata bankar chaayi thi mujh par us roz tu ... Aa dekh zara  is tarah ab chhin gayi hai wo chaanv  ki ab sunehre din mein bhi jhulsa ja raha hai tera deewana yun ..."

Mumbai, 10th September 1997

He was helplessly staring at her while tears were continuously rolling down her cheeks as she blew air on his burnt hand ... He tried to stop her but she glared at him and shushed him by touching his lips with her fingers ... As the speed of the train increased; her hair started coming on her face while she was applying cream on his wounds - he could not stop himself and bent near her to remove the hair from her face and tucked them behind her ear, deliberately coming near her ... Their faces were just inches apart when he crawled his hand and softly touched her neck; pulling her near ... Her heartbeats increased as he neared her .. He softly kissed her tears and then her eyes while she put her hand on his shoulder ... He slowly whispered on her face in his husky voice, "Tumhaare aansun chubte hain mujhe ..." 

New Delhi, 5th November 1998

She kept staring at the blazing sun remembering the eyes which looked through her - her hair started coming on her face but she was least aware and just lost herself to the world that was ... Her eyes had turned red due to the sleepless nights and all she could think of was jumping off the terrace to end her life but she couldn't even do that due to her mother ....  "Bikhar gaye ek pal mein sapne, dekhe the hazaaron jo teri nazar se ... Kaisa sitam ye is zamaane ka hai ki chheen liya jism se saaya ... Darmiyaan tere mere kaisi ye deewaarein hai ki ab aansuon ke alaawa kuch nahi raha mera yahaan ..." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



 

 



Edited by -jaee- - 10 April 2011 at 9:17pm

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shanky18ammuakhivalliyahcutiepie12thousandmilesgopi06daniella05SunriseGreenDhanakZdrmahacrazymayurian--jiya--Krishnaluv94-Samira-.SilentPrincessWings-of-Fire-SupriyaluvsMN-swati05Let-It-Go-afsha-Fantasia.perkiliciousfelicitysmoak..PINK.drfizaahmed

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Posted: 23 March 2011 at 2:31am | IP Logged
reserved

EDITED:

*sigh*

it was indeed beautiful, not only beautiful, but it was heart-breaking, the present is heart-wrenching, but the past..*sigh*..her tears prick him.."chubtey hain mujhe"..beautiful, you cannot explain protection better than this..wonderful piece of writing, but somewhere i feel that this line is far more than a part of your FF.

chris and anna..what to say about them, i just fear about them, seeing the other two, i wish they don't go through that level of pain,..

Cont. soon..God Bless..



Edited by -Mehak - 23 March 2011 at 11:43am

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valliyahJaeeDevRathore.SilentPrincessLet-It-Go.PINK.

ginny09 Goldie
ginny09
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Joined: 06 August 2010
Posts: 2331

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 5:48am | IP Logged
bahuttttttt acha hai jaeeeeeeeeeeeee 
but isme humare mayur kahan ayenge 
but stry is good :D

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JaeeDevRathore

drfizaahmed IF-Stunnerz
drfizaahmed
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Joined: 16 March 2010
Posts: 30399

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 6:27am | IP Logged
its a deadly combination of pain n joy
gr8 work

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JaeeDevRathoredrmaha

perkilicious IF-Sizzlerz
perkilicious
perkilicious

Joined: 28 July 2010
Posts: 16850

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 7:13am | IP Logged

hey jaee!! firstly happy b'day!Big smile

anyways d update..gosh as d story is progrssin...i feel so bad fr saba n ali! man they r goin thru so much! seperation is d wrst thngOuch ..n anna n chris awww i wish they nvr havto go thru wat d othr two are!!
n m lovin d daily updatesLOL thnx fr d pm!!Embarrassed


Edited by Nikita-Sharma - 24 March 2011 at 9:45am

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JaeeDevRathore

--jiya-- IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 01 January 2011
Posts: 5603

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 11:39am | IP Logged

Dear jaee... once again Happy BirthdayHeart

about the update...

well, its just too heartwrenching to see the pain Ali and Saba are going through... why is love so painful? "tumhaare aansun chubte hain mujhe" these words actually pricked my heart... how painful it is to know that the one you lived for does not live any more... but you have to live... 

Chris and Anna were like a breath of fresh air... air that is filled with love...with happiness... but a reader fears, will they also see the same fate? Will their love will also be butchered like Ali and Saba?? I pray not...

Thanks for the pm

with luv
~jiya~


Edited by jiya_angel - 23 March 2011 at 12:17pm

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valliyahJaeeDevRathore.SilentPrincess

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Joined: 23 February 2009
Posts: 12236

Posted: 23 March 2011 at 11:41am | IP Logged
i read the entire thing in one go.....and loved it....amazing do update soon

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JaeeDevRathore

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