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***REMORSE***part 47pls do comment & press the like button' ty for all the love and suportxxxplease do comment' :)xxx
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Geet looks at maan. He was lost in her. Both laid on the same bed in the dark black room. She didn't want to talk nor listen.
Maan: "why you are not talking to me?" Geet closes her eyes with his sound. Not that it mattered. He barely could see her face or she. The room was dark. Maan brings her in his embrace. There was certain urge of making love... But maan won't do it. He knew there would be no pleasure. He just wanted to hold her tight in his embrace... Geet didn't complain. She staid in his embrace. Listening to his rapid heart beats. She wondered why it was beating so fast? Are there any reason?
Geet: "why your heart beating so fast?"
Maan: "I don't know"
Geet: "you must know!"
Maan: "I am thinking about my child!" Geet instantly stiffens. It was never his child. Never will.
Geet: "it was never your child! Or never will!" maan was hurt. He sits up. She was right. That was true. "how could I claim!" his voice was shaking. Yet it's true. "I killed my child!" Geet spines round. With tears. "how could I even say it's my child! I am monster. Who murdered his own child!" Geet shuts her eyes. Close. Tight. Ditching her self to sleep. Forcing her self not to look at him! His words were taunting her. She couldn't sleep. Those words were perching through her heart. All those time that she was holding those tears... It want'd to come out! But why? Was it because the pain maan was going though! Was it because the realization. The remorses.... She Laid there crying. Maan couldn't stand to here those tears. He picks her up to his embrace. Cuddling her up on his lap. Engulfing her in his embrace.
Maan: "I am sorry!... I know this words are nothing.... But I can't bear this pain. He cried. Holding Geet tight. I am a monster! I no good man! I hate my self! I want to end my life! But I am scared to face my child!" maan whispered in her hair! The words barely reached the empty room... But... She couldn't control... Her heart wanted to here him! Every word with great concentration. Geet felt week. Venerable. That stone cold heart was melting with his tears. Melting with the agony.... She could barely breath as maans grip only became stronger & stronger. For the first time she had the temptation to touch him back. To hug him... To comfort him... Was she allowed? She asked her self... Geet cried... Maan cups her face. Wiping all the tears way. Drinking them. He couldn't bare to see those tears on her eyes. Its all because of him. Its just him.
Maan: "I am sorry.... I am sorry" he cried. "I promise I will make everything fine... It will be our dream world... Just ours... I promise...." he whispers... But did those wispear reached her heart... Did they cry for him or the child... Maan wondered.... His heart was dying of agony. The pain... Uncontrolled. He had no intention to carry on with this life but somewhere its geet who gave him hope.... Somewhere he had certain light that she was coming back out of the darkness that he have pushed her in. He was a true monster who deserves nothing. He knew well what geet have went through. Her pain... Everything he could feel. Everything.
Geet: "can you bring my child back?" she asked coldly. She asked annoyingly.... This remorses had no ends... It will never have an end.... Even if they move on with life the deep scare that was made by maan will always be there.... Maan froze... His wimping stopped.... Her question teared his heart apart.....
Geet: "can you bring my child back?" she frees her self from him. Smiled... Sadly.... Maan could feel her taunting smile... He could the way she was killing him..... There was no words. No question. No answer. There would be thousands years silence & when the much waited word comes out... It will be the last one your could bare. The last one......... Maan looked at geet in the dark night. In the shadow. The tears twinkled reflecting the light it can absolve from the surrounding.
Maan: "don't hate me this much geet. My heart wont be able to bare!" maan could barely take those words out of his mouth. It seemed like it was sealed. Glued.
Geet: "I only have asked you a simple question. Can you bring my child back?" she repeats again. Less taunting then before. Her heart was crying with his. More.... For his & her pain. There was no space there for either to share there happiness. What happiness geet asked her self. Every step she took in her life there was maan right in front standing with a different way to hurt her. Standing there to kill her. Are there any pain. Now geet had the gut to take what ever from the people. Even if someone kills her with most painful death it will be sweet compare to his deed. Very sweet.
Geet: "sleep. Don't apologies for something that is impossible to fix." she replied.
Maan: "please...." he cups her face again in his hand.... "I can't beer your silent any more... I can't. I will die...." .... Geet looks at him blankly....
Geet: "sleep now..." some reason she comes close & makes him lay down while her on his arm.... Sleeping....
Next day...
Dev was on his way... His thought was only going wild with each passing second. He wasn't sure what will he do when he finds geet... How he will force her. That b**** have made me waited enough. This will be her last moments... Very last moments.....
Geet wakes up... Only to find maan starring at her... He made breakfast.... His hand was burned.
Geet: "how did you managed to do that?" she asked.... The burning sensation was too much for maan. He only made a toast.. Nothing fancy but still he will never give up being a kid. Geet was amused. She gets up & grabs the first aid box from the side. Applying the medicine gently. Smoothly. Blowing as he made faint noise.
Geet: "don't ever go to the kitchen. Its not your place."
Maan: " how am I suppose to make your breakfast?"
Geet: "I can do that by my self. There are no need to be worried." she replied. Still applying the medication. Maan observes her. Lost. He was in love... & with every passing second he was only falling for her over & over again.... But this cold war between them... He wondered... Will this ever end? Will this ever Diaspora... Will the deep dark scar be ever forgotten? He looks at her... His eyes was twinkling....
Nothing seems to be right here. Geet assured her self. The name maan & geet could never be together again. Ever. It seems like the wound have been bleeding for far too long. The unexpected realization won't do any good. Not after all this years. Looking back at his eyes will only make him curious. Specially after all the question this eyes have to ask. It only deserves answer. I know well he have nun. He could never afford to loos his state of mind to answer this bitter questions. This will only kill him further. A slow painful death. Wish I could resemble the image he created inside me. My dead body. Maybe that ought to give him the idea of how much damage he have done. How could I possibly suggest the fact to him. After all the hesitation, the pain, the guilt that I could see in his eyes. His burned skin started to change colors. Just like he have. Recently. One question that still bugged me, the worry, the tense, was it true or it was another act of his. His words started to melt this heart. I guess this heart is helpless against love. I could never afford to give another chance. I have decided the fact that I rather die. That would be my dream come true. I see no reason to live. The word slave. I remembered again. The first time he addressed me as the word slave. I wondered where have that disappeared? It never disappeared of course. Its something to do with his change of mood that have forced the atmosphere to change. Hmmm! His words, how could it be? It still effected this dead heart. He looked at me..........
Maan: "lets go somewhere!"... I asked her. I knew whats geet answer will be. A no. A big no. I have to try my luck here. Nothing seems to work. My life was dead end. I knew the answer well. I wanted to ask her are there any way that we could possibly would start our life again. From the beginning. My tears have long dried up like a dead river. There was no water. I have cried to much. It was very much worth it. I wondered if geet will ever forgive me. Will she? Then I also wondered will I be ever to forgive my self. The remorses. Its something. Something geet always have tried to keep me way. Something she always feared. She knew well the damage I could do to my self. The believing. The believe of forgiving my self. Its not there. Somewhere I also didn't wan't it to be there. Was there any point?
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PARADOX & REMORSE from now
on....
after i finish this two... i will go back to others..
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