Posted: 16 March 2011 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
"As we sit here in the room that very soon will belong to you.
I hold your tiny little toys, knowing all our dreams will soon come true"
String by string Maan & Geet had woven their dreams knotting it with their love & faith for the very bundle of joy that was to be the true symbol of their togetherness, a celebration, an epitome of their love, their Baby.
A perfect starlit night sitting amongst the tiny toys & rejoicing in the glory & learning experience of their new found parenthood all they could think of was their Baby.
Awestruck & amazed as to how all their world now has but contracted yet filled into this one small room, room that Maan himself decorated in honor of his li'l princess, nay to Geet minus the color of the room it was all but her li'l naughty prince's fort.
Papa's doll or Mamma's boy all they felt was overwhelming love for their Baby.
"We can't remember so much happiness,
Such love and joy in our world. "
Baby that could bind them more stronger from husband-wife to Mamma & Papa, their eyes brimmed at this very thought as they moved into a peaceful slumber holding their small perfect world into a warm sweet embrace.
Content with the thought that soon their mornings will be not bright with sunrise but by their Baby's smiles.
The break of dawn touched Geet yet again with the warmth of Maan's love for her, though he was not by her side right now but he had made sure that she has everything she needs & craves for right in the house till he reaches back to her.
She could not help but be surprised at his small gestures.
A small gesture that speaks of the great concern ...that you are cared & on his mind always.
The moment Geet was talking to her li'l prince telling him about how much his Papa loves them both, Maan got to live his dream for a brief moment right then.
A li'l doll ran to him & her innocence made him long for the moment he could be holding his own li'l girl in his very arms as now he held this li'l girl who had come to thank him for his goodness towards her family.
He cherished the thought that soon their wait will be over & he will be a proud Papa.
The li'l girl with her appearance gave face to his dream, dream that he had held in his heart ever since he had seen their baby for the first time on the monitor.
Dream that now is the reason for the ever lasting smile on his face, dream that makes his heart beat in peace that soon his wait will be over & he will get to see the reflection of their love for real, in their Baby.
"Oh no ! not yet too short a dream to end
My poor heart feels the wounds of loss endured
And my dream comes to a crushing end"
Unaware of what destiny had held in store for them when he was engraving this small meeting with this li'l girl in his memory reality hits him hard.
'Geet is in hospital'.
A phone call that freezes the blood in his veins & makes him rush to Geet.
As a sleepwalker lost to the world, lost to time & space all he feels is the sense of loss at being so far from his Geet when she needs him the most, from their Baby that needs him now to assure her that he wont let her go...he will protect her, shield her from everything.
A journey of hours that now seemed eternity ended & so did his wait.
His magnificent dream drowned in dry desert of Geet's eyes that now cried of the emptiness of her womb, of her soul & his own bleed at the slaughter of his heart, of his soul.
'Baby is gone'.
The hollowness that now is the only thing that has filled their hearts with he walks to Geet.
His Geet who was now only but a phantom of her earlier self, a lifeless body whose soul had been ripped apart.
Heartbroken to see her in this state his tears seem unstoppable & the pain makes every step he takes to reach her as heavy as the air in the room that was crying of death.
Death of their dreams.
His presence, his touch & his silence, unable to stand his eyes filled with a great surge of sentiments piled in for release & the sight of him shattering within himself breaks her into tears, breaks her silence & holding on to him in anguish she cries at their loss.
His face that mirrors to her what her heart had been trying not to accept she cries.
'Bring me back my Baby Maan'.
She cries to him hoping that like always he will shield her from the harsh pain that destiny has written in her life & like always he will fight all odds & bring her back her joy, like always he will be able to protect their Baby.
She pleads, she cries.
Her tears scorch his soul at his helplessness.
Faceless to the world around him he walks away like a living corpse leaving her with DadiMaa to comfort her unable to hold his need to cry, to scream at the misery that life has brought on them.
His going away to shield her from his grief only aggravates her sense of loss more & she cries in fear.
If Geet had borne the Baby in her womb, Maan had in his heart.
Stoned by the weight of emptiness that has now filled his heart with he hides himself in a corner unable to vent his pain.
But at the warm motherly touch of DadiMaa's hand on his head he cries like a small boy.
He cries his heart out unable to hold back his pain anymore.
The thought of her, the torment she going through stops him & brings him out from his own grief.
Steeling himself for her sake he walks back to her to find her waiting for him to hold her to his heart, to shield her from the hollowness that is engulfing her soul.
'I am sorry'.
She cries to him at having failed of take care of their Baby in his absence of a single day.
As her eyes well up now apologizing to him for having taken away his smile from him, his eyes go dry at his own misery.
He refuses to hold her responsible but blames himself that if he had not left her for the moment then they could not have had to suffer this pain.
Both hold each other in tight grip crying for the other & their Baby.
They know days & night, life will be never be same like before now.
Unlike the morning before this sunrise holds no ray of joy or hope for them but tears & pain that nip their souls at every step, at every sight.
As they walk by the hospital's busy corridor alone they hear the joy filled voices of a family celebrating the arrival of their child.
With fresh flow of tears they watch their dream that was taken away so brutally from them come real for others.
The empty cradle in their Baby's room bleeds their heart & the sense of loss becomes ever more profound now.
The room which was filled with small treasures for their Baby now cried of emptiness.
And the night now is but a dark canvas devoid of stars & dreams.
But filled with painful memories & silent cries of two cold hearts that comfort each other in warm embrace as their wait now has come to an undesired, unwanted end.
Lots of Love
The tragedy shown on 11th, 12th & 14th March episodes has affected some of us a lot, .... so this post is simply my means to vent my feelings..
All i can say is Yes! the show, the miscarriage, the Baby was fictional..
But not the emotions it evoked in our heart that made us feel be it for even a micro sec, that feeling is sure not fictional.
Feelings are not debatable issues....topics are.
This post i dedicate to my sweet adorable Bajaj Fan aka Maddy opps! now she has aptly named herself Maanddy.
Thank you dear for making me feel so special & loved, i'm truly honored & humbled...mwahh!
And ALL THE BEST for your exams.
Wish me luck Guys.... my ordeal..i mean my exams don't end before 9th April....till then i cannot promise you my presence here....
Edited by nanditasingh - 16 March 2011 at 6:13pm