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Laagi Tujhse Lagan
Laagi Tujhse Lagan

FF:Imperfect Perfections Ch32-Pg142(14.4)Last UD (Page 58)

Wanderbug IF-Dazzler
Wanderbug
Wanderbug

Joined: 21 September 2010
Posts: 3591

Posted: 16 April 2011 at 3:28pm | IP Logged

You know how difficult it is to try and write a romantic piece after watching the most unromantic movie ever'But well, some of you, my friends are very good at nagging a poor soul'God help your husbands and yes I mean yours' Kiran and Pooji'So, outta love(and fear for dhai kilo ka haath and new shinny belans respectively) I dedicate this to my loving (and terrifying ) friends( instead of writing this, I was of half mind to block you two bullies from my FB..Huh!! badey aaye!)

So without any further delay'(as if I could'..with them gals breathing down my neck)..I present to you'

Ch14: Storm Brewing (Did I really reach 14'.Gosh'.need to wrap this up ASAP!)

Nakkusha looked at the door of her bedroom squinted her eyes to make out the figure in dark. "Didi?" Debu's voice sounded soft and doubtful. Nakkusha looked sideways at the sleeping form of Sonu and whispered,"hmm..kya hai?". Debu came closer to the side of the bed and nakkusha could see him hugging his pillow. She knew without him telling what the matter was. She moved a little making room for him. He smiled in the dark and laid beside her hugging her at the middle. Debu was a little baby of three when their mother had died. Nakkusha had always slept holding her baby brother. But as he grew the bed became too small for the three of them and babuji decreed that debu would sleep with him on the living room divan. But still sometimes when he was scared or troubled he would scamper to her and slip in their bed to hold her. He was almost 12 now and it had been a long time since he had needed to do this. She wondered what he had done this time. She knew there was only one thing that troubled or scared debu, repercussions of his mischief or thought of confessing them to their father. She waited for him to get on with it.

After a few minutes he nudged her on her cheek, more like a poke with his finger. Debu whispered,"Didi, so gayi kya?"

Nakkusha swallowed her smile,"Haan!" Debu-soothey soothey jawab dogi? Nakkusha- bolo? Sonu moved a little and nakkusha hastily put a reassuring hand on her more out of habit. Debu- aap sachmuch us aadmi jaisi cheez se shaadi karogey?

Before nakkusha could protest Sonu quipped in- mat karna didi. Bahut namuna sa aadmi hai,sachi? Nakkusha was shocked for a minute- debu, sonu'.chupp! dubara uday ji ke baarey mein aisa mat bolna! Babuji sunnegey to tum dono ki khair nahi..Maine aaj tum logo ki harkat ke baarey main babuji ko nahi bataya par agar dubara badtameezi ki uday ji ke saath to main bahut daatungi.

Debu grumbled and changed his side to get comfortable pushing his sisters to make room for his tall body,"kya jarurat hai aapko abhi shaadi karne ki'baad mein kar lena..kissi aachey se bandey se! yeh to 'khajoor pe aatka' types aadmi hai!"

Nakkusha tried to sound stern,"Debbu! Bas!" Sonu- toh nahi to kya! Didi, main aapko bolu..aap na..wo hai na'Dutta se shaadi kar lo'.woh bahut aachey hai! Debu jumped in- haan, ye bittu-pittu to Dutta bhau ke saamne pani kum chai jaisa hai..Sonu automatically corrected her younger brother- paani kum chai nahi hota debu..muhawara hai....cheeni kum chai..hai na didi?

Nakkusha- bas! chupchaap so jao donno nahi to light jaala ke dono ko pahadey yaad karaungi.20 se 100 tak.

That did the trick as always. Both the little matchmakers went quiet as a mouse at the name of learning tables leaving nakkusha thinking about their words. They didn't understand the ramification of their innocent words, didn't realize how much pain they were inflicting on their sister by bring up impossible dreams.

As their breathing grew deep making her aware that they were fast asleep, she slowly maneuvered them and slipped out of the bed tucking a blanket under their chins. She went to the window facing the road and kneeled down leaning on it with her head popped on the sill. She looked at the stars blinking up in the sky and thought of the one man who felt at peace watching them. She didn't feel peace though; the stars now made her restless and made her ache as they reminded her of him.She looked back at the bed at her siblings sleeping so innocently. How peaceful they were, she mused! She turned back to the stars. His words replayed in her mind.

Intna samajhtey ho aap mujhe..phir bhi kyun nahi samjhtey? Kyun jab main aapne sapno ko maar deti hoon to unmein saas phookne chale aatey ho? Aapke aaney se pahele kum se kum mere Kanha ji to meri suntey the'.ab to lagta hai unhone bhi kaano mein rui thoos li hai'ya shayad unhe bhi apni Radha se phursat nahi hai, mere liye!

She saw a movement at the first floor window as shadow moved away from the windows. She had thought that it was the new curtain but as soon as the silhouette moved away she could make out the tall solid familiar person. He kept her awake..but what kept him from sleep?

*********************************************************************************************

Again he found himself gazing out of that window at that house, like every night since last week. Even he couldn't understand what he looked at when he looked at that still little house dowsed in darkness. His thoughts would race towards her unbidden every night. But today he watched the place on the terrace where he had seen her dancing this morning. He could almost see them dancing together in his mind's eye. He could see the laughter in her large brown eyes. He looked at the window beyond which he knew she was sleeping. He wondered what dreams she must be seeing in the sleep. Does she frown in her dreams the same way she frowned at him when she caught him smoking? Or did she have that smile tugging her full lips as she did when she twirled and teased Buddhuram feeding him chilies? He paused at his strange thoughts and shook himself, cursing a thousand names to his stupidity. She was not like others, he told himself, and she was not for playing around with. She could get hurt easily and he would not let anything hurt her not even himself. He turned around cursing loudly pacing in his room. But she would get hurt, she would be unhappy if she married that supercilious hypocrite narrow minded prick. Yeah, she will be married to Uday and he'what will he do? Go back to his life in Mumbai. To the thrill and excitement of false lights, to unending arrays of sick bodies to cut and bleed, to the crowd of friends who meant nothing, to the strings of 'Miss Right 'Nows' who meant nothing. He wondered if that could be called life. To him now it looked meaningless exisitence'Surviving not living.

A soft knock sounded on the door. Dutta came out of his dark thoughts and walked towards the door. He was surprised to see kalatai standing before him. "Tai, aap soye nahi? Kya hua? Tabiyyat theek hai? Pressure check kar doon? You took the tablet, right?" Kalwati smiled at his medic mind- Nahi bhau. Main theek hoon. She stepped into his room and switched on the dim lights. "So gait hi.phir pyaas se aankh khuli. Paani lene aayi to tere kamre se chahal pahal ki awaaz suni. Tu bata tu kyun nahi soya ab tak? " Dutta-aisa kuch nahi hai. He saw the disbelieving look on tai's face.

Dutta walked towards the bed and sat down at the edge. Kalawati followed him and sat near him holding his right hand- Leela tai chi aatwaan yeto ka?(are you missing leela tai?) apna kaam miss kar raha hai? Dutta shook his head- aisa kuch nahi hai, bas inactivity se..you know mind ko koi exercise na miley to wo rest nahi kar sakta. Kalawati nodded- yahan tere interest ka kuch hai bhi to nahi,hai na? bas nakku hai aura b meghna bhi chali gayi..tune bataya nahi main uski maa ko kya kahoon. Keh doon ki leelatai pune ayengi? Dutta- aap unhey sach bata do. Kalawati- kaisa sach dutta? Dutta- yahi ki main meghna se kabhi shaadi nahi kar sakta. Kalawati sat numb for sometime then let his hand slip from hers-Kyun dutta? Dutta- because she is not the person I can live the rest of my life with. Kalatai- so tell who that person is. Tu batayega nahi to main janungi kaise. Dutta got up making a irritated sound and walked towards the window. He saw a shadow walk away from the window. He wondered he was imagining things. Why would she be awake? No, she must be sleeping peacefully in her bed probably dreaming about'he stopped his thoughts and clenched his fists thightly closing his eyes. Kalawati's voice penetrated his thoughts,"Dutta, mujhse baat kar bhau'kya baat hai?" Dutta turned at her angrily,"aapne ek baar bhi pucha hai ussey ki wo kya chahti hai? usski zindagi ka faisla aap kaise kar sakti hai? aap sirf uski parosi hai'sirf parosi..bekaar mein aapni passand uss par kyun thop rahi hai?" Kalawati's eyes widened at his vehemence-Dutta, tu kiss ki baat kar raha hai? Dutta pointed a finger vaguely behind him- uski..wo..nakku ki. Aap zabardasti nakku ki shaadi karana kyun chahti ho? Uski umar kya hai? aur wo uday'aapko kaise pata ki wo usse khush rakh payega ya nahi'uski kahi baatein to samjhta nahi..uski ankahee baatein kaisse samjhega'wo me'.He realized how far he had gone and sighed- wo nakku ko nahi khush rakh payega, tai'aap bhi shayad nakku ko nahi samajh sakti. Koi bhi nakku ko uske asali roop mein nahi dekhta..bas uska ghabraya hua'timid sa roop dekhtey hai..bas!

Kalawati was stunned at dutta's behavior- bhau tu theek hai? kya bol raha hai? Tujhe uday mein koi burai nazar aati hai..kya kaami hai uday mein, bol. Acchey ghar ka hai, padha likha bhi hai..accha business hai..aur tere jamaidada ne khabar li hai bilaspur mein..koi buri aadaat nahi koi badnaam nahi hai kahin bhi'aur wo nakkusha ko bahut passand bhi karta hai. Dutta cut in irritatedly- To nakku mein na passand karne wali koi baat hai hi nahi'uske passand karne ka itna bada issue kyun bana rahi ho..koi bhi nakku ko passand hi karega..it's not surprising.

Kalawati- it is surprising for her dutta..nakku ke liye ye baat special hai ki ussey koi paheli nazar mein passand kar le. Aur tu ye jo keh raha hai na..main parosi hoon bas.nakku ko nahi pehchanti'.uss ghar ke jo teeno bacchey hai naa..wo mere angan mein jayada paaley hai'.teeno ki saas aur chikk bhi pehchanti hoon main samjha! Main jaanti hoon unhe..unke aapne pitah se bhi jayada'shayad khud unse bhi jayada. Jaanta hai wo teeno kitne alag hai'koi usnhe bhai-behen kah hi nahi sakta par phir bhi unkey beech ka rishta kitna atoot hai. Sonu hai na'Wo aapni didi ki haath batane ki koshish karti rehti hai. saalo se jeb-kharach nahi maangti. Pahele dance shikhne jaati thi. Ab seekhane jaati hai. Itni si umar mein aapna aur debu ka jeb-kharch le aati hai. Padai mein bhi itni mehnat karti hai..hindi, Sanskrit,English mein top karti hai..par maths ke exam ke pahele..without fail 103 degree temperature aa jata hai. She loves the spotlight. Log ussey dekhe taaliyan baajaye usse bahut passand hai.

Dutta looked at his sister who looked in far off space and continued while he calmy heard her with his hands folded to his chest leaning against the desk. Kalawati- debu'debu ka kya hoga bhagwaan jaanta hai! School year ke starting mein nakkusha uske books laati nahi ki bas wo saare books ek baar mein haftey bhar mein pardh leta hai'bacchey jaise comics pardhtey hai waise. Phir exam tak book nahi kholta..khich ke bittha bhi do to har do minute mein ya to so jata hai ya pani-ya koi aur bahana banake bhagne daudne lagta hai. School mein teachers jab padahati hai tab debu ko boriyat hoti hai..kyunki wo to wo sab pardh chukka hai'apni boriyat ke karan wo shaitani karta hai aur aadhey sa jayada din to class ke bahar gujarta hai..par ussey isse koi pharak hi nahi..kissi ke kuch bhi kahene ka koi aasar hi nahi..usse logon ki naazaein uspar hone ka koi farak nahi padta'phir bhi hamesha achey number se paas ho jata hai.. usse kuch pata hi nahi hai ki uski didi ko wo kitna pareshan karta hai..nakku ka chotta debu..uske liye hamesha chotta hi rahega...kuch yaad aata hai dutta'.yaad aata hai..ki tu kaise hum charo beheno ke liye chotta hi rahega'bas waise hi.

Dutta mumbled softly-aur nakku? Kalawati broke into a radidiant smile-Nakku..nakkusha'Maine ek baar pucha tha saroj kaki se..kaki itni pyari hai nakku. aapki paheli sataan aisa manhoos sa naam kyun rakha. Kaaki chauk gayi thi, pucha "manhoos?" maine kaha haan kaaki. Nakkusha ka matlab jisseki kissi ko jarutrat nahi, jo kisiko khushi nahi deti. Kaaki haasne lagi kaha meri nakku unchahi? Kissi ko khushi nahi deti? Wo to meri kai kai varth puja paat ka phal hai..meri aangan ki khushi hai. dekhna ek din is purey ganj ki khushi aur zarurat bann jayegi, meri nakkusha. Kalawati wiped a tear- maine pucha aapko naam ka arth nahi pata to usse aisa naam kyun diya? Kaki ne kaha unke gaon mein ek ladki unki saheli thi. Imli ke pedh se gir kar ek patthar par chot lag ke wo maar gayi thi. Apni saheli ke naam par apni beti ka naam rakha tha. Nakkusha'nakku..sabka kaam kar deti hai. Apni maa ki maut ke baad sab kuch sambhal liya. Pata hai? debu jab raat ko utt jata tha adhi raat ko utt ke uske liye dudh garam karti thi'kya umar thi tab uski..12-13..bas? galtiya ho jaati ussey..kabhi kabhi debu ka tiffin sonu ko sonu ka tiffin debu ko deti thi. Istri kartey huye uniform jala deti kabhi khud ko jala deti thi. Par ussne kabhi sonu ko koi zimedaari nahi uthane di..wo chahti hai..uske bhai-behan hamesha bacchey rahey'masoom rahey..pareshani se parey rahey. Padne mein tez nahi thi nakku..par phir ghar bacchey pitaji sab kuch sambhal kar padai mein kitna dhayn de paati thi..mushkil se school final aur HSC paas kiya tha..second division mein. Phir padai hi chod di. Nakku ko to agar koi teri nazar se bhi dekh le to wo darr jaati hai..hamesha se aisi hi thi.. log usey dekhe ya usse kuch puchey to bas jaban mein taala lag jata tha..aur agar kissi se dosti ho jaye to usske aagey zaban hi band nahi hoti..aisi hai nakku.. Bol dutta, kya ab bhi bolega..ki main bas un baccho ki padosi hoon? Dutta came towards her and kneeled infront of her wiping away the tears- tai,I am sorry. Main bas..mujhe nahi pata main kaise itna bol gaya..maaf kar do please. Kalawati caressed his face and kissed her hands- koi baat nahi re'so jaa! Bahut raat ho gayi hai.

******************************************************************************************

They went for the Avatar. Dutta had heard the movie was a breakthrough in many level but had not gotten around to watch it in city. By the time he had decided it had went off the theaters. But then director's version was released, so as soon as it's poster came out Sonu and debbu asked Dutta to take them to watch it. Dutta gave in and declared he would take them only if nakku agreed to accompany them. Nakkusha agreed immediately. She had read in papers about the film and wanted to watch it too. 3D no less. They made a whole lot of plans. A long drive to Raipur multiplex, movie, caramel popcorn, lots of coke to which nakku strictly said no and even glared dutta down like debu when he tried to wriggle a deal. Dutta decided that no cokes meant that they'll have to make do with a treat to good burgers and fries as dinner, that is if they could find a McD there or even a burger joint. As they were about to get in the car they were stopped by nishikant's voice," arey beta, thodi dair ruk jao. Uday ji aanewaale hai. mujhe dukan par phone kiya tha."

Debu and sonu couldn't hide their disappointment- plan cancel? Dutta- cancel kyun? Hum uday ka intezaar kartey hai. phir unhey saath le jayenge. Theek hai? Both groaned but agreed in fear of cancellation of total plans. Uday agreed to accompany them readily.

To nakku he was a constant pain as Uday was one of those audiences who like to tell the climax when beginning titles were shown for a movie. Dutta sat at one side of her and he the other while sonu-debu were on other side of dutta. As Uday told nakku the whole story to help her understand better, she could feel dutta controlling his laughter. She gave a sideways glare at him and then when a chance arrived quickly pinched him to get revenge at his teasing. As the movie progressed Dutta finished his popcorns and encroached on hers. She swatted his hand off making him flinch. In the semidarkness he could see the amused mischief dance in her sparkly eyes. And every thought of plot of the movie flew out of his head as he watched the play of emotions on her face.

After the dinner on their way back Debu insited on sitting in front with dutta which left Sonu, nakku and uday on the backseat. It had been a long day and they all decided to pass the drive back in silence. Dutta drove the car on the same road and was plagued by the memories of their last trip. He remembered how nakku had fallen asleep then on the bike holding him. He smiled and adjusted the rear view mirror a little to meet her eyes and share that thought and memory with her. He knew she would understand what he was thinking of. He turned the mirror with one hand while concentrating on the road with other. As he glanced at the mirror the image there froze his blood and then pumped with full force.

Sonu was asleep on nakku's shoulder and nakku's eyes were closed in fatigue.  Her head was drooping down as he fell asleep on Uday's arm which he had outstreached behind her. A lock of her hair had fallen on her face and Uday was about to push it away with his hand. Dutta pressed the brake to the ground, jerking the car to a standstill. Everyone was suddenly thrown forward at the jerk. Nakkusha woke up with a start automatically holding sonu to stop her from hitting the front seat. Dutta turned back to see if they were ok.

Uday- arey duttaji, aapko bhi jhapki aagayi thi kya'laiye main chala ta hoon. Dutta answered looking at surprised sleep shoden droopy eyes of nakku- nai, main chala lunga'Nakku, tu theek hai. I am sorry. Nakkusha smiled- koi baat nahi. Mujhe pichli baar ki tarah neend aagai thi.

Dutta- bas, pahuch gaye hai..thodi deer aur'so mat..main gaaney lagata hoon. He switched on the player and turned back to give her a caring look - nakku,soo mat. Ok? She smiled and nodded at him tucking sonu's drooping head back on her shoulder sitting straight and alert. The whole way Dutta could see her looking at him as he looked at her like they both were hiding a secret from the other.

......To be continued

Sorry no PM as i couldn't stay awake last night after updating at 3 and now me too sleepy again on indian summer afternoon after a heavy lunch and lassi....me crashing out....bubye..



Edited by shilpita87 - 17 April 2011 at 3:33am

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kiran255 IF-Dazzler
kiran255
kiran255

Joined: 15 December 2009
Posts: 4394

Posted: 16 April 2011 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
First of all !

before commenting on ur update 

lets take a look at ur accusations 


QUOTE=shilpita87]

You know how difficult it is to try and write a romantic piece after watching the most unromantic movie ever(Exactly thats why ask u to do the update first thing first )

'But well, some of you, my friends are very good at nagging a poor soul(POOr Soul ,did u just say that , wow Please everyone listen to this our poor soul was busy watching "GOD Father"

really a POOr soul Dead 


'God help your husbands and yes I mean yours' Kiran and Pooji  ( Dont worry we make sure that they dont do blunders like u do ,im also planning to get a set of belans to make everything in my control (just in case when Dhai kilo ka haaath doesnt work :P)

'So, outta love(and fear for dhai kilo ka haath and new shinny belans respectively) I dedicate this to my loving (and terrifying ) friend  (Finally Big smile)

( instead of writing this, I was of half mind to block you two bullies from my FB..Huh!! badey aaye!)

what Block kar kay dekhao , sare zindagi tang na kiya tu naam badal dena *determined face *

So without any further delay'(as if I could'..with them gals breathing down my neck)..I present to you' AHhhhhhh cant wait to read 


[/QUOTE]

Will be back soon late ho jao tu naraaz mat hona :P


AHHHHH Me Back FinalLy !


Hmm well before writing my comment i would love to say that if  watching a  so non romantic movie makes u write so well romantic pieces , i will love it if u continue that !

Superb update :D

Ch14: Storm Brewing (Did I really reach 14'.Gosh'.need to wrap this up ASAP!)


yes you are at chap 14 and you have to make it

only two choices  u have 

ASAP As Slow As Possible
ASAP As Subtle As Possible

If in next update i see u rushing towards the closing , you are definitely gonna get a dhai kilo ka haath !

Im sooooo loving it and believe me i thought we have only done 4 to 5 chapters !

i so want to read it more and more :D

hmm Extremely exclusive title 

Awwww Love the start 
Naku on her bed but with no sleep at all 1

and aww Debu comes to sleep with his sister 
and love how much her brother and sister care about her , they dont want her to marry him ,
they want a man like Dutta to have their sister !

Love their  matchmaking :D
and love how naku threatend  them to make them sit and learn table from 20 to 100 
hahahahh

good one becharay both the bro and sister doze off listening their sister threat !
and awwww naku asking Kanha ji why is this happening now !

if Dutta wouldnt be here she or non would mind uday but it seems no one can fit to their standard
cuz they always compare it with Dutta !

ah she caught him !
loved the line " He kept her awake..but what kept him from sleep?"

very smart !

*******************************************************************************************************
OH My God Dutta still lost in Naku thoughts , 
no doubt hse is driving him crazy!
he is afraid of his own feeling , he so want Naku not to marry the idiot but he doesnt know why !

he is not trusting himself on this one , he is always telling himself that she is a differenet girl not the one he meets !

he has totally lost it :P

and wo much awaited Brother sister talks 
isnt this day was about brother sister convos :P
hehehehhe
well Kala is here she is asking reason from Dutta abt his new beahvaiour , him not sleeping at nights !
and yes yes yes Meghna is finally and fully out , he has announced it too now ?:P
Kala is furious to know why and this just bring up the questions which were running in his mind !

woho dutta was like firing questions at kala 
he was mad at why she make Naku agree to this rishta 
and awwww  i feel bad for kala 

she said it all , how much she knew them what they mean to her ,
each and everything 

about sonu about Deebu and about Naku sad confrontation :(
aww Dutta was so sweet he asked forgiveness from his sister 

though now kala should use her brain , his bhau is fallen hard in love :P

************************************************************************************************************
Oh so dutta and Nishant kids are planning to go to watch avatar !hmm nice 
but no way Uday has landed too !

hate him so much though Dutta after talks with kala is become calmer he didnt mind him to join him :(
bechare naku how was she bearing him :(

oh i so hate those who strts byrevealing aplot :(Dead
Ohhhhh Love Dutta naku lil hide n seek games their:P
Dutta lughing naku , pinching :P

and woho finally way back to home Dutta enjoying all memories and suddenly 
ahahhahahhahh Dutta again lose control !

that Bittu was abt to touch Nkau and Dutta just pushed the brake 

ehhehehheheh
love it :P
wow wow wow !

dutta was definitely talking in double meaning :P
love it when u write that its like "they are hey both were hiding a secret from the other."

Superb update shilpi !

maza agaya hai 
 
and now u better update fast only update fast do not wrap fast !
hopefully u get me !

Love it :D
gonna go and read again 
bye bye :D


Edited by kiran255 - 17 April 2011 at 2:16pm

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 3:39pm | IP Logged

firstly thanks very much girls (Pooja and Kiran) for doing your job so well.. applause from all of us here! now Rimpi, take a bow.. outstanding part.. i cannot put a finger on one line orr one part, but the entire part is so beautiful, so magical.. i cant tell you how much i loved reading it..one of my most fav parts in this FF..

and yes, you have reached chp14! astounding, but there was never a dull moment and the pace has been puurfect!
 
Debu coming to Naku in the middle of the night brought back some of my old memories..even if he is 12, he is still a lil boy na.. and he is worried for his sister and wants the best for her na.. and so does Sonu.. somehow, the picture in my head of all three on that bed really shows up how much naku to had to grow up and be a mother figure to the younger two..the two of them pestering her not to marry Uday was so touching.. in their own unique way they are trying to tell her not to marry him as they dont think he is right..but as u said, lil do they know what memories/forbidden thoughts do they bring out! but you have brought out the innocence in them kids in tht part really well using very simple conversations .. i loved the way she stood near the window with her chin on the windowsill..beauitful..
ab to lagta hai unhone bhi kaano mein rui thoos li hai…ya shayad unhe bhi apni Radha se phursat nahi hai, mere liye!
even when she is upset, her GSOH is still intact..so sleepless in town are our two lovely people..both unaware that the other is thinking of the same thing..oooh, i loved it how he could picture them together now..until now, he was picturing her, but now he could see them dancing on that terrace..so now he is admitting to himself that he does not want to hurt her..he doesnt want anything to hurt her.. all his past relationships have been trivial and he is scared if he ends up in her life, he will end up spoiling it somehow.. stupid guy.. anyway, but he does realise that Uday will also bring her only sadness as he will never understand her! great..so what do u propose to do now Dutta?!
 
awww.. he really cares for kalatai.. he was so worried when she came in at night..i like how u describe the postures, sitting positions of the chracretrs as we can easily imagine the entire scene so perfectly..kala starts the conversation so naturally.. wondering what could hold his interest hereand that he must be missing his old life! and she naturally asks about meghna too.. poor soul gets a shock when dutta says they have split up.. but i loved dutta's answer.. he does not see himself with meghna.. hmmm.. bas thoda aur socho duttaji, with whom would u like to spend ur life then! and he sees her shadow too..Embarrassed..but then just like she wondered what would keep him awake, he also thinks how it is poss for her to  be awake and thinks that she is happy with Uday and kala speaks at that moment only Ouch..
 
i absolutely adored this line as i could picture the confused, hurt, angry dutta saying this Dutta pointed a finger vaguely behind him- uski..wo..nakku ki. Aap zabardasti nakku ki shaadi karana kyun chahti ho?
that was just sooo...i cant get the words to describe what i felt but it was just awesome.. there is so much of childlike zid, hurt here too from him..the convo between dutta-kala was just amazinf shilpi..the way he says uday will never understand her, and that no one sees the real naku..i think he is almost there.. just needs a nudge before realising..after this convo, i am sure kala will have her doubts now..and aaawww again when he says koi bhi naku to pasand karega..Embarrassed.. truly superb as he just does not understand why anyone should ever dislike her!
 
now comes the heart touching bit for me.. the way kala talks almost in a trance about how those 3 kids came into her life and how they are her lifeline..she starts with sonu and ho she is always trying to help her sister.. then moves onto debu about how he is a clever lad, but not pushed enuf in that small town..she explains it so clearly how well she knows them, almost like their mum..and seriously my heart flipped, when Dutta mumbles softly asking Aur Nakku..that was superb..he wants to know but almost afraid to know! and kala just loses herself in that moment and just tells us about what naku is all about! good to know how she got her name..  sacrificed her life to bring up her siblings.. grew up overnight with all her responsibilities..it was so good to see the bro-sis conversation at that time of the night.. very touching.
 
Oh WOW, they go on a movie with the kids and all.. love it..but grr.. kabab mein  haddi ko aana hi tha.. and my god, kitna planning kiya tha sab ne.. lol, naku also does not like fizzy drinks.. hmmmLOL..sounds familiarLOLWink.. seating plan was perfect.. oh god, he is such a spoilsport telling her the story before the movie had even begun! absolutely loved the comfortable friendship between D-N in the cinema.. a great apnapan tha wahaan.. esp him trying to steal her popcorn and her pinching himLOL.. maybe Uday is  blind too LOLLOL
 
the car drive back home was just classic.. so he knew just by looking at her, she would know what he was thinking.. so when will this gadha realise why they both understand such unspoken wordsAngryLOL..and my god, what a shock.. 420 current lag gaya.. poor Dutta here thinking of his last journey with her and smiling away and turns and sees Uday namuna trying to brush off her strands of hair..LOL.. loved it..aur jhatka lagne do! OMG, thank god he braked, otherwise, he would have crashed into something else LOL..
But seriously, my heart went out to him the way he kept on rewusting her not to fall asleep, the way he was concerned she was not injured, the way he kept looking at her and they both understanding each other's thoughts.. But, me asking, why could he not have let Uday take the wheel and sit next to Naku in the back.. waise itna akal hota toh abh tak uska love story patri pe na aaya hotaWinkLOL..but pass baithne se zyaada accha hota hain, these stole, eye locks and smiles hai na...
 
I cannot wait another week now before u update.. kya bribe karun ki u update soonTongue.. seriously, well written, every nuance of the character so in step, not a step out of place.. so perfect with the setting of the story and the characters.. OMG, cant wait to read how/when he will realise.. that would be truly awesome!  
 


Edited by prettywoman - 16 April 2011 at 5:37pm

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
Badi aayi mujhe aur Kiran ko FB se bann karne waliTongue
Now that u updated,i can sleep aaramse & read it tommorrowLOL

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 5:20pm | IP Logged

My dearest RimpiSmile,

Had I known that you keep a tally of all your friends commenting on the latest part of your FF before updating, I would have added mine earlier. You wont have to wait for mine this time round so no excuses for any delay in coming up with the next instalment!Wink
 
Absolutely adored "Storms brewing" with Dutta almost on the verge of confessing his feelings to Kala Tai. He, literally, said it all but for the tortuous bits that would finally put his  and, eventually, Nakusha's minds at rest. Dont take too long now before you get my favourite FF jodi to start living the magic that their silent understanding for each other has already generated. So much so that even Kala Tai should be shown in the next chapter as being aware of the mental and emotional tension that her little bro and her very own Nakusha are going through.
 
You may very well be aware of that Shilpi, but, our mind often leads us in circles and illusions with the most obvious solution to any dilemma, especially emotional, being to block off any attempts of self-rejection and act differently by reacting to that litle voice in our head. This again may drive one to create a conceptual self-image of being someone else. This is actually Dutta's state of mind right now.....and to a certain extent Naku's as well. Isn't it time now for them to start with their awareness of their expressions and attention for each other as it would allow them to circumvent that critical voice in their respective minds and any self-rejecting  dynamic that it could possibly foster. I am taking the liberties of saying that as Dutta in spite of being so smitten already for the one woman that he would not let anyone including himself hurt her, still cannot snap out of that bubble that he has lived into up to now. Likewise for Nakusha, who, for fear of upsetting a certain balance of things that have ensured a form of literal peace for her family, and those closest to her may very well just go through a sham of a marriage to this Uday specimen.
 
I am sorry for likening a character to a "specimen" but he does generate such negative vibes. I am fine with Nakusha expressing her wistful thoughts to her Kanhaji but Shilpi, just give both Dutta and Naku that extra nudge which will make them realise the importance of being able to verbalise their feelings and fears next because the activity of observation and curiosity is one expression that can only bring a sensation of togetherness. They are almost there as so aptly described in the way Dutta, harshly, brakes the car to block any attempts from Uday to touch that strand of hair on Nakusha's face. Cliched for sure but who has ever claimed that cliched is always boring......the whole mechanism and processes of love thrive on them. So keep them coming as it will allow our clinically minded Dutta to finally open up and likewise for Nakusha who may find the courage to look beyond her filial responsibilities and obediences that she feels bound to up to now.
 
One may well argue that happiness and joy are not always guaranteed once we have expressed our feelings but it is our expressions in the moment that determines the happiness and joy in our lives. Both Dutta and Nakusha, now, hold the key to this happiness and it is up to them to determine what they do with that key. (You will have to be the generous one here Rimpi as you ulimately hold the key.....so jaldi karo, put them out of their [or rather our] misery)Wink
 
Shilpi, your main focus on Chapter 15 should be Kala Tai now.......she must have understood now that her brother loves Nakusha so let us see the motherly side of her character take over now. We have seen the conversation between her and Dutta, let's have the one between her and Naku now.
 
I may come back later as I wanted to add some more on the cute Sonu and Debu who incidentally remind me of my own siblings....your FF made me realise or rather reminded me of the importance of the elder sister who assumes the mother's role without any prompting, should something ever go wrong. I, literally, thanked the Lord for ensuring that we have both our parents and those who are closest to us as long as possible to guide and nurture us. And God forbid if one were ever to leave us. Bless Nakusha.l  And even Kala/Dutta for understanding the importance of Nakusha's presence in the lives of these two young kids. All the more reason to get rid of that Uday AKA Bittu now.....................Disapprove
 
And shall I start banging at your doors for Chapter 15 now. I am sure that Kiran, Pooji, Shweta, Vandu and the whole army will only need a gentle prompting from me......LOL
 
Luv,
 
Kavita


Edited by KavitaDR - 16 April 2011 at 7:44pm

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
YEAHH FINALLY an upate!!! :DDD *hugs*

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
lovely update...

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Posted: 16 April 2011 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
So finally u updated ur ff. Iam going for shopping. Will comment later.

Reserved
EDIT:
hiiiiii shilpi m aa gayi, so sorry for being late.
i know dear how difficult it is  to try and write a romantic piece.Smile
now what i say abt ur update , its superb , mind blowing , out of the world.ClapClapClap
chap. name is so nice STORM BREWING , loved the conversation of kala and dutta .
 oh ho dutta is jealous , tabhi m sochu ki jalne ki mahak kaha se aa rahi hai.LOLLOLLOLLOL
    shit my mumma is calling me, so sorry for this short comment.
update next part asap
and yup ur friends want some romantic conversation bet. dutta and nakku ant me too want that. so plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
lots of hugs for this update.StarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStarStar




Edited by priya6gang - 17 April 2011 at 9:48pm

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