Joined: 01 March 2005
Amazing scene of Pune. But I bet I would not have see it thru your eyes if I was stood outside in the oppressive humidity! Lucky girl, got a window seat, huh?! It's a premium to get a window seat. I had that luxury for about 3-4 years when I was in a different team. Gazing out to look at picture postcard like houses with their chimneys and in the winter looking amazing as if they were dusted with icing sugar when we get only a light smattering of snow! Hmmm..the lil things in the office that makes a difference na..not anymore as I am sat in the middle of the office, but have a few plants around to get a bit of greenery!
Chalo, lovely start to the FF. I could smell the earthy smell of that first rain In Pune in your new story.. very rooted to the ground and such real characters. They already feel so real and close. BTW, I love the title as soon as I laid eyes on it, but now after reading the FF, feel it is perfect!
There is this earthiness in your writing which is so new to me coming from you. Esp that line hing ki mahek ki tarah baat.. that was the best line for me. Maybe cos I love cooking or maybe it brought out all the rustic flavours of this story and how simple their lives are!! Wow, she is an oprdinary looking girl but a great cook. And when she hears someone complimenting her food, she feels elated. She doesn't have much reason to cheer nor does she give herself much reason to cheer.. she doesn't think she has anything special in her..having taken over so much responsibility at such a young age, she has never stopped to think of a life for herself, slways puts her siblings before her..esp the way she says ki sonu ke liye accha husband milega.. sigh..basically a girl with a heart of gold, but never even realising her worth..such characters are hard to come by and when you spot one, you should latch onto them and never let go! And as long as she doesn't get bogged down by the fact she never got her mum's good looks it's fine.. but maybe there may come a time when she wishes she got her mum's looks?! Aaj kal everyone cares for outer beauty only, and forget that inner beauty is what matters and that will last too. Yes, a person with good looks will get preferred and will get the initial edge, but its your character, heart and other things that will see you through and help you maintain long term relations! Cos love needs heart to survive, not just looks!
Kala is almost like a mother to Nakush na.. or I would say a much older sister she never had..it must be a great relief to have such a figure ion your life esp as she lost her mum young. And she is such a friendly lady and seems like Kishore is too!
Loved the ladki dekhna scene..the house buzzing with activity, the smells of cooking, esp the snippet that Naku tried recipes from a book.. brigns back good old memories! You have beautifully used the would be groom to depict how others perceive Naku.. she may be pheeka but there is something in her and her twinkling eyes and her voice that makes you take a second glance. She has a spark in her which is hard to ignore, which makes up for her not so sparkling features..he dwells on her for a minute, but then moves onto his would be wife who is much more beautiful..well, that is how most men are too and I am not condemning them.. but it will take a special heart to see the special woman in naku and that will be Kala's bhai na?!! my heart skipped a beat when I read she wanted a kitchen like kala or damini bua.. for the first time, we get a glimpse into Naku as she wishes for something for herself.. but again a kitchen, not anything girls of her age would normally dream of..
I loved the start of the story..very different to what you have attempted before..and you have been able to give me a feel of the whole village and their activities and their lives thru this one chapter..i am sooo looking forward to reading the next parts. And yes, the thriller idea is absolutely excellent and I would definitely want you to write that but do understand that you have a bit more research to do and a few more loopholes to fill, the perfectionist that you are!
And this Naku is someone everyone here will relate to.. she is one we find in every wlak of life.. someone we have surely encountered.. and some traits of naku that is maybe even in us too!!
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Pooja_219, Wanderbug, mIsHeZ.x, Warda., Prinsesse.Suvi,
Joined: 21 September 2010
"Aur jiju bhi achche hai. Hasi-mazak kartey rahte hai. Baar baar halwey ki tareef kar rahe the...Dinky ko bol rahe the..tum bahut achcha khana banati ho..i am lucky..aur.."
"Aur ussey jab pata chalega ki uski chai bhi jal jaati hai tab?" Kalwati asked the chirping girl laying out the potato chips to dry in the winter sun on the cot laid on the terrace.
Nakkusha picked up the next basket and started shifting through the stuck chips,"To kya hua? Seek legi..Jiju sirf khane ki wajah se thodi na dinky ko pasand kiye hai..wo to dinky se pyar karte hai."
Kalawati shook her head as she turned the sides of the already dried chips,"Naku, maana ki ladke ne dinky ko sirf mithai khake pasand nahi kiya..par jo hua wo dhoka hi tha naa? Achcha, tu ye bata tujhe nahi lagta ki ab ye sab bahut hua..ab tujhe aisa nahi karma chahiye'log tere achche hone ka galat faida lete hai..tu kab apna mol samjhegi..kal tujhe dekhne koi aayega to.."
Nakkusha laughed,"Mujhe dekhne? Kya didi..aap bhi! mujh mein dekhne layak kya hai? Aur waise bhi'main ye sab aapni khushi ke liye karti hoon..apne logon ke liye'itna mol-bhaw thodi karte hai.."
Kalawati- nakku, tu asie kaise jee sakti hai? Ab tak teek hai..sonu aur debu hai..par kal jab wo bade ho jayenge tab..kiske liye yeh sab karegi..aur tera mann nahi karta kya apna ghar basane ka..
Nakkusha- kalwati didi, aap na wo ekta kapoor ke show dekhna band kar do'jiju sahi boltey hai..aapka dimag tulsi aur parvati ne bigard diya hai..achcha ye bolo wo 'hari sardu' kab ayega?
Kalawati whacked nakkusha's head lightly- paheli baat, bado ka maazak nahi banate..aur tu apne jiju ki chamchagiri band kar..dusri baat'.tu tillu ko "Sardu-wardu"bolna bandh kar..
Nakkusha stopped in her tracks like a statue looking at kalawati with huge eyes. Kalwati looked at her worried-Kya hua? Arey aise kya dekh rahi hai?
Nakkusha burst out laughing she got up and put her arms around didi from behind and laughed her heart out leaning on her shoulder. Kalawati repeated her question but nakku's laugh was so infectious, she smiled and held her arm,"ab bata bhi,pagal?"
Nakusha-T..ti..tillu? aap apne sirfare, sariyal, ariyal, akroo bhai ko tillu bulati ho..
She got up and put her foot on the edge of the cot and took a royal pose with hands on her waist looking haughty,"Kalawati devi, ye jahapana ke shaan ke khilaaf hai'Tillu jaisa pyaara naam karele ko nahi diya jata.." Kalwati bit her laughter and swatted her leg off the cot with nakku's soft 'Aww'.
Kalawati- tu itna kyu chirti hai ussey?
Nakkusha went back to her work- main ussey kyun chirney lagi bhala..mujhe to uskki shakal bhi yaad nahi..par haan..pichli baar jab sardu..She bit her tongue at didi's glare and continued,"pichli baar jab aapka tillu aaya tha tab baat baat par bigadta tha..gali mein ladke cricket kheltey to unhe angrezi mein suna deta tha..sonu ne galti se uski koi kitaab par pencilse kuch bana diya tha to usey itna data tha..ki bechaari rootey rootey bina khaye soo gayi thi,maa ki godh mein'aur mujhe bhi.."
Kalwati raised her eyes,"Tujhe bhi?" Nakkusha- mujhe bhi sunnaya tha..par maine ulta sunna diya' school ka drawing ka homework karne ke liye lal rang khatam ho gaya tha..aapka sindoor ke dibbey se thoda sindoor lene aayi thi.aap nahi thi..to socha aapke kamre se le loon..piche se aake mera hath maroor diya tha..pata hai..
Kalwati smiled- ye kab hua tha? Nakkusha glared at distant spot with impossibly large eyes- jab wo pichli baar aaya tha aur jaane ka naam nahi le raha tha. Achcha main to chotti thi..wo to itna bada sand tha..ussey pata nahi ki wo kitna takatwar hai..yun zor se marora tha..aur bola tha..aye bandariya kya chori kar rahi hai..mujhe itna gussa aya tha..ki maine'main aapka sindoor uske muh par uchchal ke bhag gayi thi. Naku felt her wrist as if reliving the pain. "Ariyal bail kahin ka.."
Kalwati smiled at her. This was the side of nakkusha that no one saw, except probably her mother and now kalwati and kishore. This was not the silent shy naku who was too meek and barely spoke a word. This nakkusha was full of life, laughter and spunk.
Kalawati- Aisa nahi hai re'Tillu aisa nahi tha pahele'hasi mazak karta tha..ghar mein sabse chota aur shaitaan tha..hum char baheno ka ek bhai..aur sabse chotta. Aai-baba ka bhi ladla ..hum baheno ka bhi..leela tai sabse badi hai..jab wo paida hua tha tai tab high school mein thi'aur humari aai jaisi hi thi..humare liye..
Nakkusha tried to remember the tall pretty old lady who came to visit kaladidi once every year. Leela didi was a very astute and strict woman but she had a bold attitude. Kalawati compared to her elder sister was more homely and simple.
Kalawati- leelatai sabse badi hai, phir roopwati tai, phir main phir choti madhu aur phir'Nakkusha giggled-tillu..Kalwati laughed-haan. Asal mein..jab who yahan aya tha tab leela tai nehi ussey yahan bheja tha..SSc ke exam ke baad..Aai-baba ki achchanak maut ho gai thi uss saal..accident tha..shirdi jaatey huye unki gaadi pe truck chard gaya tha..koi nahi bachcha tha..madhu ki nayi shaadi huye thi tab. Nakku, mera bhai bahut khush tha uske pahele..sach'jaan tha ghar ki..par phir in sabke baad'.leela tai ne aapne paas rakh liya ussey par'sabki aapni majburi hoti hai..leela tai ki majboori thi unki rohit jiju se shaadi..
Nakusha-par badey jiju to nahi rahey'phir?
Kalwati-unki maut ke pahele hi tai unse alag ho gai thi..aai-baba ki maut se dard bahar bhi nahi aaya tha Tillu aur roj ki tai-jiju ki ladai mein aur pareshan hota tha..isliye tai ne usse mere paas bheja..roopatai to US mein rahti hai..unke pati ke saath..bas, maine kaha yahan rahne do..
Nakkusha remembered a pair of angry black eyes.Naku- didi phir wo chala kyun gaya?
Kalawati- arey yahan achchey school kahan the..woh Bombay mein kitne achchey school mein pardhta tha'pardhna aur cricket bahut pasand tha' hamesha topper'aur koi hota to ye samajh jata ki baba ki itni daulat hai..mujhe kuch karna hi nahi hai..par tillu ko to aapne pairo pe khada hoona tha..
Nakkusha- achcha to aapke ye mahapurush bhai kya kartey hai?
Kalawati-tu nahi sudhregi!..woh abhi doctor hai'surgeon hai..very talented young blood of India..
Nakkusha- didi, angrezi to jayada aati nahi..par itna bata sakti hoon..wo blood peene walo mein se hai..
Kalwati-bas..sunn nakku wo yahan kuch din rahega'aaram ke liye aaraha..koi badmashi nahi..peet-piche to bilkul nahi..
Nakkusha- hey bhagwaan, didi..main aisa kabhi kar sakti hoon bhala..dekho..pura ganj janta hai..naku ke muh se to boli bhi nahi phooti aaj tak..aur aap..
Kalwati- pura ganj yeh nahi jaanta ki nakkudevi ka gussa naak par till ki tarah bait jata hai..
Nakkusha- achcha achcha'main hari sardu ko..mera matlab tillu ko mera haat maroorne ki saaza nahi dungi. Teek hai?
He sat on the balcony of his penthouse flat in Worli overlooking the city of Bombay'no..Mumbai. The roads looked like they were rivers with a lit up lamps flowing on the waves. At this height only the headlights of the vehicles were visible. The silent sea was splashing the shore in darkness. Only the milky foam was indication of the vast body being there. It was a moonless starless sky. Or maybe the smoke of the innumerable fuel gases had obliterated the spark of the stars.
He had grown up looking at the sky, at the stars. It was never difficult to see them before. They were always there as if waiting for him to find time to admire them. But the life, study career pulled him away. And today he wanted to see them again, feel that calmness that washed over him and cleansed his soul but they were not there. As if they were too busy to spare him a glance now.
He pulled on his Marlboro and relished the taste of smoke in his throat. After a second he tilted his head and released the smoke to the sky. The sounds of the traffic below and the soft swirling of waves drenched his ears. The silence was broken by his cell phone.
"Dr.Patil here." He listened to the voice on other side. "Have you tried'.Ok'Hmm..yeah..sure..I'll be there."
He shut off his phone and dragged another pull and smashed the bud. A sound came from behind. He turned with a smile,"Kay kaka, ardh sutta pahije kaa?(What uncle, you need a pull?)" The old terrace-cleaner flashed his toothless grin. He gave him his half cigarette and walked towards the door. But stopped and traced back. "Hey pann gheyaa.(keep this too)" He tucked another near his ear and pushed his lighter in his chest pocket. The sweeper saluted to him in his retreating figure like saluting a cop.
Two hours latter he was parking his car in front of Nanavati hospital. He stepped out of the elevator and halted under the "No Smoking Keep Silence" board to light another cigarette. "Mister, it's a hospital." A lady passing by glared at him. He flashed a smile pulling on his smoke and said releasing it calmly," And I am a future client for the cardiac section".
He entered the ICCU and joined the group trying to control the escalated situation. A junior filled him in. Soon the patient was rolled into the OT. He was helped by the nurse into his scrubs. She whispered an invitation in his ears. His body shrank with disgust but his features were hidden under the mask. He entered the OT and greeted his group. The TV was tuned to ESPN on mute for the cricket match. "Jeeti baazi gayi haath se, Patil. Chawla pitt raha hai."
He answered,"To kaunsi nayi baat hai..humari team toh runs beti ke dahej ki tarah opponent ko baat detey hai. Chalo dekh le yahan kya fielding hai." He pointed at the patient.
The first two hours of the surgery went fine. Things were tense yet progress was good. They were almost close to the blocked artery when it happened. Very slight indecipherable at first then a little more pronounced. He stopped staring at the scrapple in his hand trying to hold it tight. Dr.Ghosh and others looked up at him in surprise. Ghosh-Patil'Dutta?
Dutta removed his bloodied glove covered hand away from the opened chest of the man lying in front of him. His eyes trained on his hands that had betrayed him'almost betrayed him. He looked up to see the question in his collegues' eyes. Dutta stammered- I..I..I am sorry. Ghosh..can you'Ghosh finished for him- sure, we are almost done here, another hour max..you'.you take a break.
Dutta nodded but before stepping out Shariff's voice followed him,"This stays within the OT,Dutta. Don't worry."
Dutta came back home and went back to the terrace looking up at the sky. It was 2.30AM and the city was still alive and roads awash with traffic.
"Dutta..Tu abhi lauta hai?"
Dutta turned back towards the voice,"Tai..aap soye nahi..kya hua..aap teek.." Leelawati came and stood looking at her little brother. Not little anymore. He towered over her by a whole foot. Leelawati- bas neend tutt gayi..kya hua..tu soya nahi? Dutta- tai...Leelatai- kya baat hai, Dutta? Tu pareshan hai.
Dutta- aap samajh jaatey ho, hamesha. He looked at the distant sea and said softly,"tai, bachpan ki tarah tel-malish kar dogey?" Leelatai raised her eyebrows,"Is waqt?" He nodded.
Five minutes later he was sitting with a towel spread on his shoulder while tai rubbed the coconut oil in his long thick hair. Leelatai-bachpan mein roops,kala,madhu sabki malish karke main raat ko choti banati thi aur tu bhi daud aata tha..mujhe bhi choti banana hai bolke..sir par haath lagaya nahi ki so jata tha..aaram se godh mein. Kab se nahi soya, tillu?
Dutta- tillu..kitne dinno baad bulla rahe ho aap is naam se..Saahi kaha aapne tai, bahut dinno se nahi soya main..soya hoon par neend nahi aayi hai. Thak gaya hoon is bhag daud mein.
Leelawati- tera kaam bhi to aisa hai. Beta, koi aur baat hai. Tu itna pareshaan kyu hai? Kuch dinno se dekh rahi hoon.. kaam to tu itna hi karta hai hamesha...par kuch aur baat hai.
Dutta- it was simple open heart surgery, tai. Just a 3-4 hours max thing..routine..nothing exciting. I was there almost there..close to the nerve and...
Leelawati meshed her hands softly to his skull,"And?"
Dutta sneered,"And my hand shook..damn it..it shook." He held his right hand in front of his face. Dutta- Tai, yeh haath dekho..this hand is trained to cut a skin and flesh like butter'to operate a beating heart in any adverse condition. This hand needs to stay strong and steady like a rock'.and it shook.. Damn it.
He hit his hand on the floor. Leelawati looked at the bitter distaste on his face. She tried to soothe him,"Beta, yeh to ho hi sakta hai na? chotti si baat.."
Dutta-choti baat nahi hai, Tai. Surgeon ke haath kaapna matlab patient ke chances exponentialy dwindle hona.aur mera career khatam. Woh to Ghosh,shariff yeh log meri team mein the..woh sambhal lenge..baat aagey nahi badhegi...par agar kal dobara hua..aur is baar operation aur critical hua toh? Tai, I am supposed to cut and bleed a man to save him..I am a doctor...if I falter a bit it means end of a life.
Leelatai- You can't be the first jiske saath ye hua hai..Dutta laughed sarcastically- Yeah, not the first but definitely the youngest. Normally, surgeon can work till they are 50-60..I am just 29 and I see my career down the drains..
Leelawati- give yourself a break, tillu. Dutta-Tai..aap..Leela held him down by pressure on his head,"give yourself a break..go away somewhere'on a vacation. For past three years, you have been working and working..and the social life you have is not something meant for relaxation. Smoking, drinking, pubbing and what not'"
Dutta- that what not..indicates that I am normal..Leelawati-it indicates that you have no morals'sirf ladkiyan loose character ki nahi hoti..ladkey bhi hotey hai..aur tu unmese ek bann gaya hai, Dutta. Dutta remembered the nurse's whisper and again felt the revulsion. Leela- dutta, bas..enough of this flying high life..you have more than many people don't have in many lifetimes. Why are you wasting it? Get married..have kids..make me bua..and live your life like you should. Tera akela pan, ye fast and busy life..its catching up on you..yahi baat hai inn haathon ke kaapne ki..
Dutta looked at the sky- aajkal Mumbai mein taare nahi dikhtey'tai..Leelawati sighed thinking he was prevaricating the matter as always- Dutta'
Dutta- kala tai ki chatt aapne yahan ke 18th floor se bahut neechey hai, tai..
Leela stared at him, a little hope in her heart.
Dutta continued- Par wahan se taarey saaf dikhtey hai..paas dikhtey hai'12saal pahele jab gaya tha..tab dekha tha'12 saal beeth gaye, tai'aai-baba ko gaye..aapko jamaidada ka ghar choodey..unki maut'12saal mein main wapas nahi gaya wahan'.ab bada shaher ho gaya hai..township, I think.
Leelawati-kalatai ke paas jayega..
Dutta- hmm'do haaftey dedo..tai..yahan sab teek karke..main chala jaunga wahan..phir aap log jisse bolo..shaadi kar lunga..
Leelawti couldn't believe her ears- Kya..Dutta tu..humari pasand se..tu haan keh raha hai..par..
Dutta-main pyaar-vyaar nahi manta tai..aap jaantey ho..main jin ladkiyon ko jaanta hoon..unse shaadi nahi kar sakta kyunki kai log unhe meri tarah jaantey hai'par mujhe bharosa hai ki aap mere liye sahi fisala logey..
Leelawati- galat bol raha hai Dutta..hum tujhe sirf kuch chehron se milla saktey hai'par un tamaam chehron mein se ek chehra tujhe dundna hai..jisse dekh kar tujhe taaron mein chain dundna na pare..samjha..
Dutta looked up at the dark sky thoughtfully.
Next day, Leelawati had called and informed Kalawati about his coming in 2 weeks and also about his decision.
Roopa refused to send abroad brought up girls she knew for alliance of her already troubled little brother."koi achchi sanskari ladki dundho..jo ghar bana sakey'hum purane khayalat ke nahi hai, tai. Par Dutta ko sambhalne waali chahiye..agar wo aapni zindagi mein busy rahegi to bhau ko kaise samjh payegi.."
Leelawati and kalwati agreed with her logic on Skype'Madhu on phone conference call between the four sisters suggested her niece from in-laws side but latter cancelled when she found out that she was already going out with some engineering college fellow.
Kalawati finally declared on second such conference calls - tai, maine soch liya hai..tillu ke liye ladki yahi par millegi..rajnandgaon mein'ussey aaney do. Main dekh lungi..aap log mujh par chod do..
After lot of debate, leelatai declared the verdict like she used to when they were kids and each wanted to feed baby Dutta his milk or hold him before sleep,"Teek hai, kala. Tum aapni taraf se rishta dekh lo'usse pasand aa gayi to sab teek hai..nahi to phir madhu koshish karegi aapne Kolkata mein..wahan nahi to phir roopa tu aapne contacts dekh California mein..aur agar sab fail ho gaye..to leela abhi zinda hai. Apr iss ladke ki shaadi to issi saal hogi. Bas."
"Arey,Nishikant babu..achchi khabar laya hoon." The owner of the internet matrimonial centre in Rajnandgaon came to Nishikant's house that evening. Nakkusha was working on the curtains for Kaladidi's guestroom. The cloth was too,soft and smooth and kept slipping. It required her full attention or else the lines of sewing were slipping. Nishikant who was making Sonu read the paper for him looked at the ajar door and frowned,"Shashi babu, aap? Aaye naa..Sonu zara paani la..Aayeye baithye. Chai mangwata hoon..nakku.."
"Arey..takleef mat kariye..nakku, teri chachi bol rahi thi zara ghar aa jana" Shashi called to the girl who was inside somewhere." Par aaj to mujhe aapse kaam tha nishikant babu.."Shahsi said while sitting down on one of the mismatched chairs kept near the ottoman where Nishikant was sitting.
Nishikant-kya kaam? Shashi leaned and said conpiratorily- apni nakkusha ke liye..rajkumar ka rishta laya hoon..aap ki kismet khul jayegi..
Nishikant looked flabbergasted,"apr maine to aapse nahi kaha naku ka rishta dekhne?"
Shashi looked at him sheepishly,"pata hai. Par jab mujhe ye request aayi is ghar se to mujhe laga ki yeh ladka apni nakkusha ke liye sabse sahi hoga..aur main iske paise bhi nahi lunga'aap bas sunn lijeye..nakusha meri bhi beti jaisi hai..bachpan se dekha hai."
Sonu raced into the room where nakkusha was stitching,"Didi, sunno na..aap ke liye rishta aaya hai.."
Unknowingly, Nakkusha hand slipped on the curtain closing off the space for the for the holder line to pass through. She looked at it aghast and angrily hissed,"Sonu.."
..to be continued.
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Joined: 01 March 2005
Kala tai indeed thinks like Naku's mum.. and I am sure future updates will prove it more strongly! But as usual Naku cannot see anything good in herself that would get her a good groom.
Hari sardu.. hehehehe..nice name, though he will not like it one bit I am sure..but I loved Tillu more..wow, kaisa naam hain, esp when now he is a surgeon! Naku has a lot of life and sounk in her which comes out in front of people she knows and cares about..for everyone she might be bland, but not in front of kala tai for sure where she has a chance to let loose the real Naku in her! Sometimes even if there is an age difference between them, they seem to understand and complement each other so well..
Hm.. past history seems to have tainted her mind and opinion of tillu.. but the backdrop was a very sad poignant story.. a young boy who loses his parents and his entire world comes crumbling down goes to live with his loving sister, but has to endure more pains seeing his sister's home also crumbling. Too much pain to endure in one go..he is very lucky indeed to have such doting sisters who are so wonderfully well communicating and thinking how to get a bride for him.. And totally agree on the kind of girl they feel their brother will be happy with. Well, who better than them to know their brother..it did bring a smile on my face thinking of the 4 sisters sharing duties like looking after him, putting him to bed etc..a complete role reversal I must say.. naku on one hand providing all this to her siblings and here Dutta being at the receiving end of such care and love..such a different childhood for both of them, in spite of both being without a mum..but while naku has learned to be happy and cheerful, the point she met Tillu was when he was struggling to cope.. though he seems to be outwardly calm, Tillu has a lot more struglles inside his head unlike Naku who appears to be an open book.. at least to people close to her..
Hmmm.. intro of Dutta is great.. terrace pe and smoking too! esp being a surgeon he knows the after effects so why does he still smoke?! When did he pick up this habit.. at least he is a man of today by the look of things..a few habits that most men today indulge in!! waise he agreed to get married to a girl his sisters choose?! Now, that was a surprise.. I never expected that at all..maybe he has seen many girls in proximity and none of them give him that sense of security, belonging or feeling of having come home?! Everything looks a farce and he feels his sisters will probably have better judgement and luck than him in finding him the right girl? Also cos he is quite a catchm, he ends up meeting only such girls too! gosh I am rambling here sorry...
i remember the scene in Metro when they show a scene of Mumbai from a highrise flat where all u see is that sea of lights.. beautiful to see from that height. BTW, most busy cities worldwide look the same in that respect!
Oooh.. and how could I forget..he loves cricket... extra tick mark in my book for Doc Patil ;-P hmmm..haath kaamp raha hain.. is it stress, over working or some other illness, which I hope is not the case here.. I am hoping all he needs is a good break to rejuvenate himself..
Now I am certain Kala has Naku in mind for him, but twist in the tale that naku ke liye bhirishta aaya hain.. very interesting..cant wait to read more!
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divya17-7, Wanderbug, Pooja_219, ushankitvc, Warda.,
Joined: 15 December 2009
Hey Shilpi !
sorry honey for extremely late in commenting
but u know na
short comments on ur FF is like such a dissatisfaction at my part !
first of all congrats honey for starting a new FF ~Imperfect Perfections~The title just told me this again is going to be the onewhich will make me lose my6 sleep :p
You are amazing with creating titles !
and as i know how much important part Title plays in ur FF !
im sure u will again make me finding perfection in IMperfection !
You know na ur writing creates a spell on me !
So let me stop pouring my heart
and continue with the very first line which i read !
"The sky is cast with dark clouds today."
the whole para i dont know who u talking about is it you or someone else
cuz if its u !
You can actually steal beauty from nature and fill it in ur words !
this paragraph has just saying aloud that u are no ordinary person !
you are one who can see the unseen !
things which normal cant see
" the evening golden sky be covered with those large grey clouds like an jewel covered in rags"
Now coming to the update !
Ch 1 Impressions !
wow You have used totally a different style of writing this time !
Very direct ,
ok here i go !
wow Kala is in he story and she is platying nice !
i likes it !
so Nakusha here is daughter to single parent !
a sister of 2 and kalawati neighbour !
very interesting !
and wow Naku cooks and other people take credit !
wow she is running quite a matrimony business !
khana khao aur apni beti ka rishta fix karao :P
It was indeed a different concept which created in ur mind !
The way she cooks , her happiness that she is cooking not for herself but some other !
The way shje thinks about her sister not even for a min thinking abt herself !
She is self less
A very interesting thing she is not pretty , cuz whenever we read Tasha FF
And Naku is shown black in our head we know she is pretty
and even if Dutta falls fro Black Naku we can visualize the fair one !
You know u just gave me a thought , there are a lot of ugly faces with beautiful hearts
Who don't put soot on herself to look ugly are we ready to accept them too !
Only ur FF open my mind in a way like no one !
And the last part the way u described the guys feeling fro Dinky ad the way things are running in his mind !
Wow Shilpi I want to know the truth
Kitnay larko ka interview kiya before writing this part specially !
Loved it !
The Uniqueness lines in the fact of its simplicity !
Its no story of king queen , no CIA Agents
A normal story of normal people :D
Chap 2 Starlights
Beautiful title :D
Love Naku kala convo !
This Naku is so different , she is fun she is chirping like a bird !
This is what girls are like mostly !
With their loved they are like birds in sky , flying doing whatever they like
And huh what Dutta nick name from Tudu to tillu (sorry cant stop distraction from SC )
Though both starts with T and ends at U
Its like I have shifted from convent school to urdu medium :P
Loved this name too !
Awwwwwwww Dutta is bad he was so angry with naku k us a haath moor liya !
OH im enjoying it a lot !
And wowoo what an amzing order of sisterhood
4 sis one bro !
Liked it very much their stories !
Leela elder and alone
hmm this story of urs got really strong roots !
Its like u are surprising me with every other line !
And what Dutta is a doctor !
Hey shilpi !
I want to know whats up with Doctor
Last FF Dutta was not doctor but ion his name Doc comes !
KYa baat hai u like doctors very much :P
Har hero xcept Kahani wala Ff dutta is doctor :P
OMG the superb Entry of Dutta imean Dr Dutta !
Wo what an amazing scene u created of his pent house !
And huh Dutta is so ill mannered No smoking k neechay smoke kar raha hai !
What an attitude !
Amazing description of scene it so specific that its like im in hospital !
And what they watching ESPn in OT !
Cant get any better !
OH my God
Dutta hand shook !
such a small deal for normal person but a career end for a surgeon !
Dutta asking her Tai to oil his hair so sweet !
Love the way her sisters love him !
The way she tells her to get settle !
really like what an elder sister should do !
And love the way u described
How sisters are in contact with eachother !
Love Leela verdict on bro wedding !
Cant wait when Dutta is gonna land IN Pune !
Last part excuse me who is this shashi babo !
tasha ki LS start nahi huye !
he came with a rishta !
Gosh hate him !
SOnu seems sweet but said the words wrongtime !
hated very much that it ended !
I so want to read all !
It's a really really different story
Very unique quality this FF possess is its simpilicty !
And I don't know but I am having strong feeling this FF of
urs is going to very unpredictable !
Great work Shilpi !
Thank u for writing again and giving us another story to fall in love with !
God bless you !
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