Joined: 01 March 2005
Rules and Religions.. wow kya solid title hai jee!
I must say this was a very realistic anniversary. It doesn't always happen that everything goes according to plan. And for me what really matters is the thought than the actual gift.. just J thinking of doing something for me or getting something for me is a beautiful feeling.. but not always lol.. it does feel nice to be surprised too, isn't i?! I am sure he will make it up to her later.. but then, should he.. I don't know..as I feel after shaadi, if you are a mature understanding couple as these two seem to be, then such trivial things shouldn't affect them.. it reflects in the way Naku prepares Thai food from the book he gifted her and she is happy he liked it.. for her making that Thai food with all her love is nothing short of a gift to him and him appreciating it would be the gift from him..so that's it.. how much more simple can life get!! Anyway loved how D says har saal pehla anniversary nahi aatha.. smart bloke hehehe..and Naku bhi na.. she should have accepted his offer and kept quiet.. for a smart bloke, that was a lame promise to make, probably because how nave and sweet she is!! Hmm.. though am not convinced Naku's mysterious smile and her answer actually concur..you know which one I mean, of course when he says mera koi beta toh nahi…kya chipa rahi ho Naku, errr Rimpi….;-)
Wow.. terrace and night time.. there is always something so omantic and soothing, isnt it?! I prefer home to any over crowded restaurant to celebrate a loved one's birthday etc..sometimes it is nice to go out, but the privacy and quietness and togetherness in those silent moments are truly treasured a lot more..whereas in this case, she can understand his restlessness even more, isnt it?! It is heart breaking when something you have worked towards for the last 2 years doesn't materialise.. when you know that what you were asking for is for the betterment of others, a sefless service..a chance to give back to society as god has been very kind on you.. to help someone who is needy as now you feel you are at the stage where you can..and just 10 beds..when he listed out the things he would need to get that started, I was shocked.. the list was so pitiably small compared to massive profits these hospitals make..You have touched upon a very very imp topic here..In India, medical care is available only if you have money. The care you get is as good as the amount of money you can throw at doctors/hospitals..it is a shame that in spite of paying taxes and there being govt hospitals, no one would want to step inside one..what irks me is if those influential people can actually do the sifaarish, why cant they foot the bill too so that the funds can be given to someone with no such contacts.. if all those industrialists, politicians, actors etc etc could take care of their people or used resources/contacts amongst their own circle of wealthy people to provide for their contacts, that would ease up the spaces for normal aam junta ..its sad that even when you are ill, your state depends on whom you can call upon to pull strings for you..Education and medicine are the most basic needs in any society and unless that is made available to everyone without any discrimination on status, power, money the society will never improve..but as Naku says he can try again.. he has tried and failed with Polystar.. but that doesn't mean there are more like minded docs who will want to devote their time, isn't it?! if not surgery, he can speak to pharmaceutical companies who mint money to give donations of medicines..speak to businesses who may want to make a difference..but yeah, it is a mountain to climb and with not many tyhere to share the responsibility, it will be a long and arduous climb at that.. but yes, if one hospital has rejected it, that doesn't mean end of the world..just be prepared for a lot more disappointments before the turn tides..
I am not being critical at all about D not taking up a govt job..see, charity begins at home..For a doc who is starting out and a young one at that has many responsibilities and dreams to ulfill.. these dreams and responsibilities maybe for someone else, but those matter too..but I really admire those docs, who after having earned sufficient money, then decide to return back to the society..I know a couple from here.. they went back to india when their kid was about 11-12 as they wanted to help the public there.. and would u believe it, they are in Pune.. the hubby who was in IT, is a horticulturist and the wife a practising doc..but on the other side u see docs who have amassed enough and more wealth but still subscribe patients xtra meds for commissions from the pharma companies, who still charge the same amount irrespective of whether they are old people, whether they are poor etc..i have seen such ones also..but then why do we expect only docs to give something back to society.. all of us who r educated can, cant we?! You could teach IT or Maths or English..you could teach sewing, knitting, cooking..You could teach carpentry and so many other skills.. if u want to make a better India, we all can contribute..D says there are 2 choices, either gaon mein ladho ya enjoy in pvt hospitals.. but what he is trying to reach now is a happy medium.. it is v wrong of him if he doesn't provide for his family and just follows his ideals na.. whereas now he knowshis family is secure, so he can achieve the other dream with no stress..ad this is what N is trying to say isn't it when she says no decision is right or wrong.. all depends on circumstances.. but then depends on the soul of the person making that decision too..whether that person has the magnanimity to actually practise before he preaches! BTW.. pata nahi when ths guy will believe in kanha hahah
I loved the introduction of Kamesh ..very original and as a reader his face is so clear in my mind.. a very sharp and astute person..it is v clear he knows D pretty well, by how he was able to judge his whereabouts.. also shows that as a person D hasn't changed much in his routine life..aawww..she is so sweet the way she acknowledges herself as the wife!! Well, his amazement is understandable as the D hje knew would never have got married or if at all married, he was expecting it to be to a social butterfly heheh.. I was grinning how she left the door open.. I think all of us women feel the same, sint it?! well, I was no exception lol..it's nice how you write in such detail that adds to the charm of Naku and we relate to her more..ok, it seems like even Mary knows Kamesh and isn't pleased with his visit..he comes across a strong character..and has just bulldozed his way in.. well, N is pretty strong, so unless she felt that lil bit safe and sure about his guy, she would have shown him the door..
Wow.. he does give it to her full on.. probably cos he is agitated Kamesh has surfaced again… but a few questions floating in my mind… looks like D was a part of whatever Kamesh was involved in whether knowingly or unknowingly as now he says he doesn't want to risk his family..it seems like there was one case whether D and his tutor disagreed completely.. very intriguing..suspense accha create kiya tumne.. but K mentioning about how D lost to the hospital board was a blow below the belt! He is right in saying docs religion is to save patients.. I think D knows where to draw the line.. here I feel you are trying to show how 2 very talented docs can differ on a very serious topic.. how they viewpoints may seem correct or incorrect based on how u look at it.. as N said, there is nothing like white or black, but in between.. but if he knows D is trying to get a special ward for charitable cases, why does he think that D wants to keep his services only for the rich?! Anyway, in a year's time, lots has changed and so he doesn't realise to what extent D also wants to do things but staying with the realms of the law..wow, Usha.. I had never thought of that as a name for N!! and he does leave us after having made such a strong impact..but I sit on the fence regarding passing judgement as I am unsure how this guy will turn out.. though I feel more like Naku when she let him in!!
OMG.. the fight between them was sooon cute..immensely enjoyable.. brought back the old Naku who fought him in rajnandgaon.. she wanted him to come and stand in the line of her attack..of course, now he has to replace the figurine lol.. Kitna research kiya tune Rimpi.. aise likthe likhte hi u will become half doctor! Very intriguing and spine tingling stuff.. esp the way the heart is is revived later on and the way a baby's life is in danger for 60 secs is too stressful to even read, let alone perform as a doc! And what an analogy.. Sachin ka shot and fielder hai Pakistani..but then in order to perform suh arduous tasks, you need to look at it a bit lightly, otherwise the enormity of the situation can squash you, isn't it!
Another intriguing finish.. BTW, I love kaala khatta gola. Did not know they had this name of chuski too!! lol..BTW, in my house also it is the same.. J ka toh all time haq hai ki he can take a bite or even swallow whatever was on my plate..he tries it on Sanju too and she doesn't let him lol..ok, so he has been discredited now.. but as N said, a good doc will always be a good doc na.. whether license ho ya na ho, whether he is practising or not, he will alwys be a doc I guess.. I am sure D also feels the same, but within the lawful world, he isn't! K is turning out o be one intriguing, eccentric character who will stop at nothing to do what he believes in.. malpractise.. but I don't think he is a character that would be bothered by this term! Looking fwd to next instalment.. I know u will be happily busy!! So enjoy and the updates can wait!!
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Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi,
Khwahishon ke nanhei pankh farfarakar,
Aashaoon ke pigle neelam ko ik baar choo sakoon,
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi.
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi,
Jahan meri saasein azaad ho jeene ke liye,
Jahan meri aankhon mein boye sapne panap sake,
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi.
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi,
Bin indradhanushi rang, bejaan banjar sehraa saa,
Zameen ke konese bandha, kale badal ke daagse mailaa sa,
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi,
Ho ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi,
Mujhe bas ik baar udhaan bharne do,
Na kuchlon mere paankhon ko,
Na khicho meri tamanaon ki hawa,
Na roondon meri aatmaa.
Nahi maanga maine taj koi,
Na daulat koi maangi hai,
Na mandir masjed mannat kiye,
Na chodi khudai hai.
Bas ek nanhi si dua hai meri,
Jeene bas ka haq ho mujhe bhi,
Chahey Saari kainaat ho tumhari par
Ho bas ek tukdaa asmaan mera bhi.
Ch28: On Broken Wings
"Sirf kitaabe doctor nahi bana sakti, kabhi kabhi sirf experience bhi kaafi nahi hota. Kuch cheeze bas tum kissi ko dekhke seekhtey ho. Baba ki maut honey ke baad maine kissi aadmi ko as inspiration nahi dekha. Infact kabhi baba ko bhi nahi dekha tha. Wo mere nature se bikul differnet the. I respected him but never wanted to be like him. But Kamesh sir was awe-inspiring to me. I wanted to be him. And he wanted me to be like him too. Mujhe har surgery mein saath rakhtey the. Apne clubs mein le jaatey the. Golf, squash, swimming, dinners, parties, meets! I was his shadow." He caressed his thumb over her hand slowly as they walked hand in hand over the waves. The crowds had thinned on this part of the beach, some trailing lovers were scattered around the sands. Everyone was prisoner in their own world like them.
Dutta continued slowly lost in his thoughts,"he was a bit eccentric and that raised different feelings in people around. Kissi ko sir se darr lagta tha, kissi ko respect,kissi ko jalan to kissi ko irritation." Nakkusha smiled thinking of Mary's irritation with Kamesh this morning. Dutta bent to pick a shell from the shore and showed it to her,"ek 72 saal ka aadmi admit hua tha. Heart attack hi tha. But there was little hope. Life support se hooked up the. Machine se zinda the. Sir ne diagnosis ki aur kaha ki humein life support hata dene chahiye. We are wasting out resource. The chances of him being revived is almost nil. Waise bhi sir ke hisaab se wo aadmi apni zindagi jee chuka tha. Kuch aur seniors were against it. And anyways by rules jab tak patient ki family ijazaat nahi deti we couldn't remove the life support. " Dutta sighed deeply and frowned at the sun which had hidden in the waves but had left its hues in on the sky. He continued," ek cycle ka accident hua tha hospital ke pass car se. Cyclist spot dead. Carrier seat pe a 8 saal ki bacchi thi. She was admitted with hamorrhage..Us waqt accidents cases needed FIR and whole lot of office work..But Sir overlooked it all and immediately took over the case. She was operated on and she was sinking fast. Life support was needed and all machines were engaged. Maine bataya na, Sir apni marzi ke mallik the. Apna kanoon khud banate the. Apne khuda khud banatey the…apne patients ki lifeline bhi khud banatey the. He decided ki 72 ka admi kaafi jee chuka hai, he could take a break and pulled out the machine. "
Nakkusha stopped and looked at him with shocked eyes. Dutta continued expressionlessly though she could glimpse the raging storm in his eyes,"It turned bad,naku. Ugly actually! Bina permission liye faisla karne par senior doctors aur management Raut sir par bahut naraaz the. Par jab kissi hospital worker ke di khabar se us admi ke family ko pata chala ki life support hata diya gaya tha…tab unhone hospital pe case kar diya. Unfortunately, us aadmi ka beta kissi minor community ka leader tha..Bahut pahuch walla tha. Usne pure mudde ko ek cast discrimination ka roop de diya. It was all over the media. Hospital needed a way out and blaming the doctor responisible for all that jazz seemed a good way out. The girl's family refused to testify in fear of public attention. pahele hi wo log ek maut aur us hadsey se jojh rahe the.Sir ne unhe involve karne se mana kar diya. Case went to court and Sir ke past eccentric harkaton aur is baar ke proof dekh ke unko Medical negligence aur malpractice keliye unka licence cheen liya. His wife was an anesthesist, good one. She left him after it. They both were exreteme worloholics and never had kids…ek dum se sab kuch khatam ho gaya sir ke liye. Aur ek din sir bhi jaise gayab ho gaye."
Nakkusha blinked,"Matlab? Main samjhi nahi." Dutta smiled,"jaisse koi lapata ho jata hai waise. Fir kuch do saal pahele…mere rajnandgaon mein jaane se pahele mujhe unhone call kiya tha. Badhai di thi meri success pe. Mujhe bulaya tha millne. Main gaya tha. Adha din us patey ko dundhne mein chala gaya tha. Mumbai ke aisi kone mein ka pata tha..jiski bhanak shayad mumbai ko hi nahi hai. Toothe huye darwaaron aur khidkiyon se jhaakiti aankhon mein bas ek cheeze nazar aa rahi thi. Bhook…shaqk..darr..nafarat. Sir mujhe apne ghra le gaye…ya kaho jis chat ke niccey soote hai wahan…ek underconstruction building thi jahan beams to lag gaye hai par deeware nahi hai. waha maine dekha Sir kaha gayab ho gaye the."
Nakkusha said softly," wahan Sir ne apni clinic khol rakhi thi? Garibon ke liye?" Dutta gave a dry laugh,"clinic? Hah! Pura Hospital khol raha tha,Naku. Gair-kanooni medical facility…jahan wo black ke medicines aur second grade xray machines se shuru karke sab kuch laga chuke the. Chori se electricity, water kya nahi kheecha tha us jagah ke liye. I mean, I swear that man has guts. Kya confidence se itne saare illegal kaam itne pride ke saath kar rahe the ki jaise kuch hua hi nahi ho. Na apne kiye pe koi pachtava tha na ab hai."
Nakkusha blinked the splash of salt water that irked her eyes. Dutta tenderly cupped her face and blew in her eyes," kabhi kaha hai maine tujhse,meethu, teri aankhon ko dekh ke mujhe sukoon millta hai"
Nakusha waited for her husband to join her on bed. It was late and tomorrow was another week filled with activity. But what dutta had told her about Kamesh kept haunting her thoughts. She tried to relate the man she had met to the sauve, sophesticated Doctor Dutta had descibed but couldn't. They seemed like two different person to her. Time did that to people she thought. Wasn't she a different nakku now than the one a year back? Wasn't the man she fell in love with, the man she married and the man she was living with a year later so different under the shell?
In a flash she remembred another such night, it seemed like a long time back, yet she could see it so clearly.
He was reclining on the swing-set in the garden while she was collecting the fallen white flowers that bloomed at night humming softly 'raat kali ek khwab mein ayi'. "Ye tu in phoolon ka kya karegi?" Nakusha stopped humming the tune,"Raat ki raani kehtey hai inhe. Bas raat mein khiltey hai..subha tak jhar jatey hai. sochiye to itni pyare phool itni pyari khushboo par ye bas tab jaagtey hai jab duniya so jati hai. mano ye kissi se chipna chahtey ho.muhe inki mahek achi lagti hai.rajnigandha jaisi hi meethi si bheeni bheeni mahek aati hai..mujhe mere sirhane mein ye leke sona aacha lagta hai."
He had laughed throatily,"accha! So tujhe lagta hai ki phoolon ki bhi feelings hoti hai?" She had nodded offering him her hand filled with the flowers for a whiff. Dutta winked,"accha to bol ye raat ke rani ki kya feelings hongi?" Nakkusha had smile,"thodi confused hoon. Ho sakta hai iss phool ne koi galti ki hai isliye ye din mein baaki phoolon ke beech khilne se sharmindgi mehsoos karti ho..ya phir shayad isse lagta ho ki din ko bahut phool hai raat ko koi nahi isliye raat ko mehkane ke liye usse hi jagna hoga…ya phir.." "Ya phir din bhar k shor-sharabe se pareshan hoke..Banawat se bhari ujalon se tang aake ye phool raat ke andhere mein khuli saas lete hongey…raat ke andhere mein kaafi kuch saaf sa dikhta hai na?"
The other side of the bed indented as dutta slipped under the cover switching off the light. He placed a hand over her abdomen and kissed her goodnight. She tried to see him clearly in the dark. "aap Kamesh ji ke us hospital ko dekhne ke kuch din baad hi rajnandgaon aaye the na?" Dutta was silent for so long she thought he was asleep but then he answered her question slowly,"haan! Par reason wo nahi tha. Main thoda disturbed to tha Kamesh sir ko dekh ke..par clinically as a doctor kahoon to I was overworked. I needed to break free for my sanity. As it happened I found my sanity..in you."
Nakkusha turned to him running a hand over his torso lovingly," aur agar aisa ho ki Kamesh ji ko apni sanity us jagah se un logon ki madat karke mill rahi ho to?" Dutta Placed a hand over hers and peered at her in dark. She could feel the steel in his gaze and his voice,"He had not found his sanity,Meethu..He has lost it."
Nakkusha looked out of the glass window of the car as dutta braked at the signal. Dutta had just picked up Nakkusha from theuniversity library where she had gone to collect some refernce books.Nakkusha- arey wo dekho? Dutta leaned a bit to see what she was pointing at. A colorful kite was tangled to a light post, it was fluttering in the breeze madly. The scarlet body of the kite had a vertical tear in it through which the dark indigo of the evening sky was visible. The kite would fall down when he wind went away but even a little breeze would make it soar high up. Dutta looked at his wife doubtfully- tujhe debu ki yaad aarahi hai kya? Nakkusha laughed- nahi baba! Kal hi baat huyi sabse. Aaj wo nani ke paas jaa raha hai. maine us liye nahi dekhaya…balki isliye…khair, aap mujhe ye batao ki wo patang ko dekh ke aapko kya lagta hai ?
Dutta shruggeed- ab kaati patang dekh ke kya lag sakta hai…kissi bacchey ki patang cut gayi bas. Nakkusha shook her head- umhoo..nahi! aap bas wo dekh rahe hai jo baaki duniya dekh rahi hai. zara duniya se apna nazariya haata ke dekhiye..is baat ko bhulke dekhiye ki duniya ke nazar mein ek patang bas ek khillona hai..uska kaam hai dor se bandhe rehna aur jiske haath mein dor ho uske marzi se chalna…wo chahey to dheel de nahi to kheech…nahi aap is patang ko bas us patang ke nazariye se dekhiye.
Dutta- main kuch nahi samjha! Dekh, mujhse philosophy nahi hoti..main shayar to nahiii…remember! He joked lightly checking the traffic ahead. Nakkusha giggled- nahi aap shayar kaise ho saktey hai…aap to mere sardu se kerele ho. Dutta looked at her with spark in his eyes- accha main buddhu hoon is mamle mein tu bata, tujhe kya dikhta hai is patang mein. I mean color ke alawa ye patang baaki wo akash mein jo urdh rahi hai un patango ki tarah hi to hai. Nakkusha looked back at the kite flapping in the wind furiously while in the distance she could see some other kites flying smoothly. She rested her face on her palm and said in a faraway voice- zameen asmaan ka ffarak hai. maine kaha na duniya mein patang bas khillona hai jiski zindagi ek dor aur dor pakadne waale se juri hoti hai. wo apni marzi se nahi urdh sakta..apni disha khud nahi tai kar sakta…apni kismat khud nahi likh sakta. Wo jo dusre patang hai wo asmaan ko choo rahe hai kyunki abhi unki dor pe dheel di hai…jaise unke mallik ne kaha ho 'jao choo lo asmaan jee lo apne armaan par jab tak main chahoon tab tak.' Unse kissi ne ye nahi pucha ki wo kitna uccha urdhna chahtey hai..kya unhe is tez hawa mein urdhana hai? ya nahi? Na unse kissi ne unke pasand ki disha puchi hai..balki hawa ke rukh ke hisaab se wo patang ko urdaya gaya hai…wo baaki patang bas gulam hai…par wo jo kati patang hai…wo alag hai…us patang ne socha hai ki bas huyi gulami..is dor ki..dor pakadne wale ki..is hawa ki….ab bas main in sabse azaad apne pankh failaunga…aur usne aisa kiya bhi…apni dor kaatwa kar azaad urdh gaya hoga ye….thodi dair tak…bina kisi disha ke akaash ki sair ki hogi aapni marzi se…jaise koi bandhan nahi koi perhez nahi…koi niyam nahi kanoon nahi…baaki patangon ne jaroor isse bewakoof samjha hoga…ya shayad unke bhi mann mein irsha hogi iske jaise azaad hone ki lekin himmat nahi huye hogi. Par ye to bas apni man marzi se urdhta chala hoga…jaane kahan se kahan tak.
Dutta- aur ab? Ab to yahan atka pardha hai..lamp post se atka hua…dheere dheere hawa se fatt raha hai..kuch dinno mein iska namo nishaan nahi hoga. Nakkusha- nahi! Aap phir bas ye dekh rahe ho jo ki baaki duniya dekh rahi hai.. aapka nazariya jaise mere kanha ke baare mein duniya se hatt ke hai..waise is patang ke baare mein bhi soch ke dekho naa!
Dutta laughed- ab mujhe ek kati patang pe logic lagana hoga? Nakusha tsked irritatedly- har cheez logic pe chalti hai kya? Ab yahi dekho na..ismein kya logic hai ki maine apke jaise gobardhan se pyar kiya! Aapke moods aur gussey ke picchey koi logic hai? Nahi na? har cheez mein logic nahi hota, bas! Dutta gave up- theek hai bol meri ma! Ab is asmaan se gire lamp-post pe atake patang ke bare mein tere hattke achaar kya hai? Nakkusha- achaar nahi..vichar! achaar matlab behaviour aur vichaar matlab….Dutta growled- haan theek hai theek hai..agey bol nahi to yahi uttar dunga..ajana ghar phir bus mein…Aur kaun gadha khada hai signal pe..traffic control nahi kar sakta to aise ullu ko jobs dete kyun hai. ab us saale ko dekh beech se gussa raha hai. He horned loudly and made furious eyes at the teenage biker who was trying to slip in between two cars. After scaring the kid with his ferocious gaze he turned back to nakkusha and gave her a questioning look when he saw the amusement in her eyes,"Kya? Ab maine kya kiya? In gadhon ko aise hi handle kartey hai..haan to tu kya bol rahi thi..patang hawa aur blah blah!"
Nakkusha slid the glass down switching off the AC and rested her face on the window tasting the balmy air,"Is patangne apni ucchi azaad urdaan ke baad..apni jagah doondh ke apna ghar bana liya hai…is khambe par. Ab wo azaad hai…par disha heen nahi…usne apna asmaan dundh liya hai…bas itna sa asmaan jitna usse chahiye…jab hawa aati hai wo pankh farfarake urdh leta hai..jab thakk jata hai shant ho jata hai….jaise chahta hai waise je raha hai…thoda sa..mmm..thoda sa budha ho gaya hai…pankh faatne lage hai ab….tootne lage hai..jald hi ab kuch nahi rahega…ye patang nahi rahega…par firbhi..apne tooti huyi pankh ko hi farfarake ye bina dosron ki parwa kiye apne akhri din jee raha hai."
The signal cleared and dutta started the engine. He stayed quiet but as they moved away, he could see the kite spreading its broken wings and fluttering in the sky tied to the post.
Nakkusha opened the door stepping out of the car collecting her books when dutta held her hand to stop her. She turned to see that he had came up behind her. He placed a hand casually on the roof of the car beside her while the other rested on the top of the door. He had effectively blocked her in the corner. She looked around worriedly to see if someone was about as he leaned to come face to face with her,"Tujhe kya lagta hai main teri ye utpatang baaton ka ishara nahi samjhta? Nahi jaanta tu kya kehna chahti hai? tujhe lagta hai ki sir ne kuch galat nahi kiya…wo sahi hai..azaad hai apne mann mutabik patients ko treat kar rahe hai? hai na!" Nakkusha shook her head- aisa main nahi aap maantey hai. andar se. par bas ye nahi maanana chahtey ki aap mein aaj bhi kahi na kahi unke jaise banane ki ichcha hai. aap bhi bina kissi rule ke kisi kanoon ke bas apna kaam karna chahtey hai…patients ko treat karna chahtey hai..bina ye dekhe ki wo apki treatment afford kar sakta hai ya nahi. Bas aap bandhey huye hai duniya ke niyam se…jo unke saath hua wo galat tha….par aaj us galat ke karan hi wo kai logon kio madat kar pa rahe hai.
Dutta growled- kaise substandard medicine se..cheap machines se…kissi dilapidated camped out "hospital" se..illegal treatment se! end does not justify the means, nakku! not always!
Nakkusha looked at him unblinking as she retorted- Toh? Toh kya? Boliye na, chup kyun hai? aap batayiye..aur kya rasta tha unke paas..kya choice thi? Aapke paas kya choice hai? aap hi keh rahe the na..zarurat zayada hai par madat kum…sahi rastey se baat kar ke dekh li na aapne…polystar kyun baaki sabhi hospitals ne bhi pichchle kuch dinnon mein inkar kar diya na…aur…dekhiye ab Kamesh ji doctor nahi hai..duniya ki nazar mein to zahir hai koi medical representative unke paas muft mein dawa to deta nahi hoga..akhir usse unka koi faiyda to nahi! Par aap doctor hai..aapke paas badi medicine company wale free samples de jaatey hai….aapke recomdation ki unhe jarurat hai…agar aap wo mdeicines kamesh ji ke paas...mera matlab hai..to phir to cheap kharab medicine wala problem solve ho jayega…rahi baat hospital ke jagah se hai..to shayad unke paas paise nahi the…par hum..matlab ki aap to koi jagah rent karke clinic laga saktey hai? shayad yahi madat chahiye unhe….ye to galat nahi hai na..illegal nahi hai na?
Dutta- par main unke saath…main unke saath kaam nahi kar sakta. I can't! He..nakkusha! He let me down! Main unke jaise banana chahta tha..mere idol the..and he had clay feet! Main unki itni respect karta tha ki bina sochey samjhe jo boltey kar deta tha…ek baar ek pateint aya tha ek junior collegue ke paas..usse diagnosis mein galati ho gayi..symptoms heart attack ke the…par chuki patient ke medical records mein heart ki koi problem nahi thi…aur patient was in his early 40s to wo samajh nahi paya…sirf acidity ki dava di…aur wahi cabin se nikaltey waqt collapse karke wo patient….agar pata chalta ki junior ne diagnosis galat kiya tha…to bawaal ho jata…humne dekha tab tak case was out of our hands, sir ko call kiya he came…par tab tak he was dead….sir ne patient ke family ko dekha aur kaha ICCU le jana hoga attack hai..ICCU mein koi allowed nahi…ek baar wahan pahuchey to unhone bas kaha ki todey deer tak machine oxygen etc laga ke rakho…injection laga do..i was stunned…kaha sir he is dead..hume family ko bata dena chahiye. Sir ne kaha batayenge, baad mein..pahele ye sab karo..subha jaake kehna ki humne bahut koshish ki par kuch nahi kar sakey….certificate mein time of death early morning ka dena..4-5 baje…atleast the family will have no grounds to charge the doctor with wrong diagnosis…aisa to ho hi sakta hai…anyways, this man was walking heart attack..i am sure 90% block hoga…haan kuch tests karlo..report mein daal dena.
Nakkusha- fir? Dutta gave dry laugh-fir? Fir humne chupchaap wo sab kiya. Kyunki sir ne kaha tha. Nakkusha, now I can understand it was wrong…par apni hide bacchane ke liye…now I don't want to be like him.
Nakkusha interrupted- but you are like him! aap maano na maano kahin na kahin aaj bhi unke jaisa banane ki iccha hai aap mein…aur aap dono ek se hai isliye hi wo maantey hai ki aap samjh paogey unhe. Aap un jaise ho lekin wo nahi ho…isliye aapke aur unke khayal mill saktey hai jazbaat mill saktey hai lekin decisions to alag ho hi saktey hai.
She cupped his face in her hands- aapko kya lagta hai ki main nahi jaanti..raat ko chip kar aap unki files pardhtey ho..aur case study karke research kartey ho..ilaaz dundhtey ho..mujhse chipa ka kya hoga dutta! main to aapki hoon..apka hissa hoon. Nani kehti hai..sahi kaam karne mein na sharam honi chahiye na hichkichahat…ekbaar mujhe rastey pe purse milla tha..bahut pasie the…main lautana chahti usko par baar paiso pe nazar jaati thi…tab nani ne kaha tha…lalach to ho hi sakti hai…wo paap nahi hai..par lalach se apne aapko sahi kaam karne se rokhna burai hai..paap hai…waise hi darna bura nhai hai..darr aur confusion ko aapne aapko rokhne dena galat hai. Main aapko khush dekhna chhati hoon…agar aapko unki madat karne se khushi milley to wo sahi..agar unse dur reh kar milley to wo sahi…tab aap unse apne naatey tordh lijiye..wo file unhe lauta dijiye..kal hi! Bas! Aapne wada kiya tha na mujhse..to main aapse aapki khushi aapka chain maang rahi hoon..usse paane ke aapko jo karna pardey wo kijiye.
Dutta closed his eyes nad leaned his head on her forehed as nakkusha caressed his face closing her eyes- main aapse kuch nahi maangti..nahi chahti..bas aap chahiye mujhe..sirf mere liye. Dutta- He was right! I don't deserve you, you know! Dekha tere kanha ne kaise pagal se tujhe baandh diya hai…fir bhi itna bharosa hai us par!
She gave him a superior look- aur aap dekho kaise ehsaan faramosh hai…aap jaise ko meri jaisi achchi patni di hai Kanha ne..par fir bhi aap unko nahi maantey! Tsk! Badey besharam hai aap! Dutta grinned- so to main hoon isliye to abhi ye karne walla hoon. Nakkusha- kya? Dutta answred her by taking her lips with his in a deep kiss inspite of the sounds of some cars entering the parking lot. He knew his neighbours will think them to be shameless but he did not care.
Kamesh looked up from the patient he was checking and blinked in surprise,"tum? Yahan kaise?"
Dutta- I would have called par aap mobile to rakhtey nahi hai. ye files lautane aaya tha. Kamesh looked at him a bit disappointed- O..achcha! achcha haan..err 2 minutes zara nipta loon. Dharama, Zabaan nikalo..AAA!
Dutta looked around at the thin malnutrished bodies crowding the little room Kamesh called his office. Mothers holding their kids, men with bloodshot eyes regarded him with awe and question. He looked for a place to sit as it seemed Kamesh would be a while. He spotted a broken stool at the corner where Kamesh's 'compounder/nurse/peon' sits and sat there.
Minutes passed as the crowd incresed until even the floor was filled with waiting patients. A little girl awaiting her turn with her mother was incesstantly coughing up a storm. Tears were running down her dark thin face, her little body shook with the force of her labored coughs. Unable to take it anymore Dutta turned towards her.
Dutta- muh kholo apna. The mother looked at him in shock as dutta placed a hand over the little girl's forehead. She tried to shy away pushing into her mother's bossom. Dutta repeated- Muh kholo, bolo Aaa! Main doctor hoon. Dekhne do! Hmm!
The mother looked at him surprised as she watched bewildered as dutta tried to pull down the blanket and touch her daughter's throat. Dutta gave up trying to pry away the girl's blanket and looked towards Kamesh who was checking another patient. He walked upto him and wiothout asking picked up the stethesscope. Kamesh stopped him without looking away from his patient,"Ye mera walla hai..ye nahi! Wo drawer mein spare walla rakh hai..use kar lo..kalse bring your own kit." Dutta grunted locating the spare one and returned back to the girl.
Dutta tried hard to press down his anger and glared at the old woman infront of him. he tried to understant her thick accented marathi once more trying to keep his voice down while he could hear guffaws from Kamesh. Dutta- Isse aap mere paas kyun laye ho,aaji? Pointing to the goat the old woman was pushing towards him.
Aaji replied in bits of hindi and marathi that while she was coming back home from work there was a motorcycle accident. Big one. Two young kids fell hard on the mud road with the bike hitting themselves on the rock. Everyone was injured.
Dutta looked past the woman a bit worried- accha! To wo bachey kahan hai? Aaji replied in marathi how would she know where those donkeys were. Dutta- par aapne to kaha ki unko chot aayi thi..Aaji –haan to haldi doodh se theek ho jayenge..unki chodiye aap isse dekho…iski singh toot gayi hai motorbike se takkrake..isko jordh do.
Dutta looked at the old woman incredulously- aap insaan ko chord ke is bakare ko doctor ke paas layi hai? main aapko jaanwar ka doctor lagta hoon?
Aaji- arey to insaan sabse bada jaanwar hota hai..sab boltey hai tu bada doctor hai…kaat peet karta hai insaan ke chaati-dil pe…ek chottey se bakre ka singh nahi jordh sakta..hain kahey ka doctor! Naaspeethey, nalayak kahin ke! Haain! Kai ki padhai ki tune…haan?
Kamesh bellowed out his laughter as he saw his star student and a successful surgeon face turn mottled red in embarassment. He turned away wiping a tear. It had been one month that dutta had been coming regularly to help him with the patients. He brought new medicines, equipments and blankets. New journals and books for him. Kamesh didn't know what had changed in dutta but he could guess who had changed him. Light of a sunrise…Usha! After ages Kamesh could now sleep peacefully at nights without regrets. He was now relieved that he was not alone…his best student was standing besie him. helping him holding him supoorting bim through it all. Kamesh knew he was getting on. After all at one point everybody needed to retire hand down the reigns…after all he was getting old and he had flied enough- high and free on his broken wings.
……………………..To be continued
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