Posted: 10 March 2011 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Iam crying in pain. All could i see was petrified dadimaa shouting at nakool to call doctor. That much only i could remember. After that everything became dark. .................................................
When i opened my eyes I was in hospital bed. My first fear was about my baby. I want to make sure that baby is safe. My eyes started searching maan. But maan was not there. I was not having enough strength to talk. Somehow I managed to talk to nurse and asked her to call my husband. After sometime dev entered my room. I was confused. I shouted at nurse to call my husband my maan. She was shocked due to my hysteric behavior. She gave a confused look and left the room. But dev didn't left the room and he started moving towards me. "Geet bro is not here"dev said in a sad voice. "not here ...where is maan" I started shouting and crying.
"Plz geet don't cry, daadi informed bro. He will be here at any moment....." His words were interrupted by some noise at door when maan rushed into my room.
Just looking at him I could understand that he was shocked by this news. He came near me. Took my hands in his and started to cry. I could not see tears in his eyes."Maan iam alright. Plz calm down".
Then I asked maan about baby. His facial expression changed completely. From that i understood that something worse happened.
"Maan plz tell me that baby is safe" i asked him catching his collar. He broke down completely and said "im sorry geet. I could not keep my promise. I couldn't save our baby".
With that my heart shattered into pieces. I was feeling that the earth under my feet began to crumble. I wanted to cry my heart out, but what i feared the most was the state of maan.
Maan though hard and tough outside, he is very sensitive inside. He loved the baby more than me. At that stage i can feel his pain of loosing the loved one and guilt of not keeping up the promise. I should be strong now. I can't let him down for no fault of his. Whatever happened I can't bring back. I lost my precious thing in my life now I can't let my maan to break down completely because of me.
I prayed my babaji to give immense strength to control my extreme grief within myself.
Controlling my tears in my eyes i reached maan and caressed his head saying " No maan our baby is still alive in our thoughts". Maan was surprised to first hear those words from me. Later he hugged me madly saying sorry. "No maan don't blame urself. Baby knows papa, love". With that one word there was a huge relief on maan's face. After sometime he slept on my lap and i decided to bury my grief completely in my heart permanently for my maan.
I changed myself to make maan happy at every stage trying to erase the bad memories of my miscarraige from his mind. Dev shifted to mumbai and he never came into our life after that day. Slowly happiness started to come again in maan's life making us more close physically and emotionally. His happiness doubled when he came to know that i was pregnant again. This time he took utmost care of me. he was with me every minute. When he took our angel for first time in his hands the happiness in his eyes took away all the grief which i was burying for last one year in my heart.
I thanked babaji for giving immense strength to handle the most difficult situation in life and for giving a precious husband "my maan" .
Iam geet. Maan ki geet and this is my story.
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