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Discover True Love -Sajan OS With *my First VM* (Page 15)

aashizin IF-Stunnerz
aashizin
aashizin

Joined: 15 November 2009
Posts: 27401

Posted: 03 April 2011 at 1:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by a little faith

Dearest Aashi,

OS Very interesting concept of bringing SaJan together through an arranged marriage.  Quite inspired! Star

I loved this touching line, so simple yet significant.  "being small town morena's girl she always followed and obeyed by all but he gave her freedom to follow her heart ,she was always amazed with fact without saying anything how can he understands what she wants and not she recalled their first meet for their arrange marriage" I loved how you illuminated a simple truth that we only 'recognize' our companions as they affect our hearts not merely by their presence alone as commonly depicted by TV/Films.  @bold, caught my attention.  Again beautifully expounded.  That subtle act of his that unknowingly and quite unintentionally became the key that gave him access to her soul.StarStarStar

I loved the third paragraph!  The manner in which you take a understated moment of courtship and intricately weave a layer through Gunjan's comparison with a neighbouring couple.  In this way you highlight a common human trait to compare. We compare to our idealistic ideas, society's conditioning and TV/film stories.  Excellently done! Clap

I loved how you effortlessly brought in how love begins to suffuse our realities and our souls by staining everything with the colours of our beloved.  Everything reminds her of her beloved because he has come to be everything she loves.  I loved this cute instance, beautifully penned ClapStar"
saying to share him everything which she wants to share to her friends whenever she will feel to tell anything to her friend he will be always there for her and he made atmosphere lively saying if u will have any complain with ur husband ur best friend samrat will be always there for u he will def scold ur husband mr shergill"

Again I loved how you embroidered upon the common feeling of missing a person through comparison to that anxiety felt upon meeting them for that first time. Just genious!  My favourite sentiment of the piece.  Very insightful! StarStarStar
her heart beat racing more and more now As was mine! You quickened the pace of action of the piece and excellently pulled the reader's heart into her racing heartbeat!  Excellent!StarStarStar

back into reality she became restless as if she has lost her one part of life she knew that's the love So true, at the moment we lose something is the moment we understand its worth!"A single rose can be my garden, a single friend my world" He loves her, that is enough AND it is everything!  For which she gives her heart openly, miraculously, and generously. Thus, they 'share' each other. 

Just beautifully written and with the most wonderful insights and detailed comparisons. A joy to read!


VM.  I loved the way you layered your vm like your os, with that echoing of your introductory message through use of text from it, the lyrics and words that encapsulate the moment!  Very well done!  Star

I loved that 'in dreams' texted moment @1:37.  Very cute! Big smile  Again I loved how you layered upon the whole with that end dialogue of Samrat and Gunjan, illuminating their complimenting bond. 

The song was excellently chosen, Clapaadha ishq, for like SaJan, loves grows and slowly but surely, gradually and eventually, completes itself! You wonderfully selected and choreographed the piece Clap The fitted the OS perfectly!  Very well done!  StarThe scenes augment the tone set by your os,  and so just like Samrat and Gunjan, they compliment each other gracefully.  The editing was very well done for your first attempt, I was very much impressed!  StarStarStar

@2:09, for beshamar raate, but that paas paas aate..ghum ho jaate hai'  just excellently chosen and edited, the timing Brilliant! Star Very cute use of 'Bekali mein jal ke' @2:22, again the manner you embroider details, weaving the lyrics, message and SaJan together!  Just excellent!

I look forward to your own development of this new found means to express yourself.

Very well done, Aashi!

Love Sabah.
 OMG sabah i m speechless after reading ur wonderful take on this OS and VM so much glad and happy to have ur wonderful and outstanding reply on this thread seriously touched with ur wonderful and boosting words it means lot to me seriously as beginner its just kind one wonderful boost to make more vms thanks  a tone sweety i m so much thankful to for this wonderful reply HugHugHug

 i m seriously so much touched with ur wonderful analysis on this OS seriously i m glad this concept touched ur heart and u come up with wonderful thoughts this OS is what i also believe fall in love realizing it we only have to find that love which we have always around here i showed that part gun realizing it with those past moments which they spent together she feared once to lose him reason was clear she fell for him and then she realized when she feared to lose him it happens we come to realize such a feelings when we almost lose it and then she finally got her reply which she was finding after reading that novel i m seriously glad u liked this and thanks a tone for sparing ur time and replying wonderfully here Hug


thank u so so so much sabah for ur wonderful analysis on vm seriously i m so much happy and glad u liked it this was my first attempt and it will be close to my heart for sure and ur words r so much encouraging for me seriously i m touched with ur wonderful and boosting reply u have no idea it means lot to me seriously Huglove u yar for ur wonderful reply thanks a tone for sparing ur time here and replying wonderfully Hug

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a little faith

whiterose29 IF-Stunnerz
whiterose29
whiterose29

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 30662

Posted: 03 April 2011 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
di im very angry with you........AngryAngryAngryAngry
u wrote an os and that too with a VM and didn't even sent me a PM????????CryCryCry

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aashizin

aashizin IF-Stunnerz
aashizin
aashizin

Joined: 15 November 2009
Posts: 27401

Posted: 04 April 2011 at 11:18am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ria_lovesajan

di im very angry with you........Angry
u wrote an os and that too with a VM and didn't even sent me a PM????????CryCryCry
sweety i pmed all why u didn't get Confusedoww i m seriously sorry i pmed all but i guess it didn't reach u Hug oww kindly accept my apologize i don't know how it happened Hugdo kindly read OS and watch VM please Embarrassed

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whiterose29

whiterose29 IF-Stunnerz
whiterose29
whiterose29

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 30662

Posted: 04 April 2011 at 11:23am | IP Logged
Originally posted by aashizin

Originally posted by ria_lovesajan

di im very angry with you........Angry
u wrote an os and that too with a VM and didn't even sent me a PM????????CryCryCry
sweety i pmed all why u didn't get Confusedoww i m seriously sorry i pmed all but i guess it didn't reach u Hug oww kindly accept my apologize i don't know how it happened Hugdo kindly read OS and watch VM please Embarrassed
 
aaaawwwiiiieeee di its completely ok.....TongueTongue
well i'll read it and watch the vm....and then give comment...till then you have to wait.Wink

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aashizin

aashizin IF-Stunnerz
aashizin
aashizin

Joined: 15 November 2009
Posts: 27401

Posted: 05 April 2011 at 12:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ria_lovesajan

Originally posted by aashizin

Originally posted by ria_lovesajan

di im very angry with you........Angry
u wrote an os and that too with a VM and didn't even sent me a PM????????CryCryCry
sweety i pmed all why u didn't get Confusedoww i m seriously sorry i pmed all but i guess it didn't reach u Hug oww kindly accept my apologize i don't know how it happened Hugdo kindly read OS and watch VM please Embarrassed
 
aaaawwwiiiieeee di its completely ok.....TongueTongue
well i'll read it and watch the vm....and then give comment...till then you have to wait.Wink
oww thats seriously kind of u sweetheart HugHug oww i will be waiting hon take ur time HugHug

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whiterose29

--Ruchi-- IF-Sizzlerz
--Ruchi--
--Ruchi--

Joined: 23 December 2009
Posts: 12456

Posted: 05 April 2011 at 11:39am | IP Logged
awesome OS and VM aashi...Clap
wonderful writing...keep writing more
and thanx for PMSmile

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aashizin

-CreativeSoul- IF-Sizzlerz
-CreativeSoul-
-CreativeSoul-

Joined: 30 January 2010
Posts: 17433

Posted: 05 April 2011 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
hey aashi Hug kya kahu u have left me speech less with the awsome os and the awsome vm i seriously loved reading this os. It was so cute and then the vm was like a video for the os becuase it went great with what  you wrote. So awsome job do right more os
 
love
tanzeel Embarrassed

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aashizin

whiterose29 IF-Stunnerz
whiterose29
whiterose29

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 30662

Posted: 05 April 2011 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
heyy aashi di!!!
 
well, no doubt that i took so long to read and comment on this os....Wink
i was kinda lost in this......in sajan dreamland!!!EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed
its a WONERFUL os.......you're such a great writer!!!!ClapClapClapClap
and it completely makes a reader to feel the INNOCENT and MAGICAL LOVE OF SAJAN.......TOO CUTE!!!EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed
each and everything was explained so beautifully! HATS OFF TO YOU!!StarStarStar
 
And now, coming to the VM,
if you tell that this is your first trial, then its just too good!ClapClapClap
the song choice is perfect, and it suits the OS........
i love this song.....but now i've fallen in love again with this song.....and SaJan too!!!!!
GOOD JOB!!!!!ClapClapClapClap
 
Love,
Ria

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aashizin

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