Originally posted by koolsadhu1000
Originally posted by carpe-diem
i agree with almost all the parts. i strongly disagree with the following Look at it from the BABY's angle . The baby will grow up one day . If he finds out that HIS dad was a millionaire and cud have given him a bETTER LIFE and his mom egoistically refused financial help and didnt even BOTHER asking the Dad if he wud provide , he may get WILD with anger . He wud ask perhaps , Why did u screw MY FUTURE for ur ideas of SELF RESPECT ?Why did u bring me up on a meagre salaried income when he cud have afforded the best school , engineering or doctor admissions and university educations etc ? Who ARE u to take decisions on MY BEHALF ?if the child is raised properly he or she will not question Vaishu, rather the child will be proud of the mother who sacrificed so much to give it a proper upbringing. The money will come with strings attached...
You mean to say the children who grow up and counter question the single parents who raised them and walk off to the parent who clearly earns MORE MONEY so they can get a better future prospect or education are NOT PROPERLY RAISED and HENCE THE FAULT of the MOTHERS who raised them ? How did you come to this conclusion caspie and on what basis ?
by no means am i saying that kids that question parents are not properly raised. if and when the child grows up and wants to leave Vaishu then so be it. my point was that if the child is raised properly he or she will see the reason behind Vaishus decision.
I find this conclusion of yours naive and inexperienced . Is there any way of knowing how your child will turn out as an individual when he or she enters youth ? Look at Sulochana's two daughters ........Archana and Varsha . While Archana adjusts in every walk of life , Varsha rebels in every event and even aborted the child on a whim or fit of anger . Were they sULO's famous sANSKAARS ? I dont think so .........coz Sulo SLAPPED her hard . She abhorred her daughter's deed .
Kools, i am young and inexperienced, no doubt about it. But like you point it out there is no way of knowing how the child will turn out...then what is the point of worry about how it will behave. Since you brought up Archana and Varsha, well what about Dharmu? he is a bad apple form good parents....Archu and Varsha maybe whatever but they felt remorse for what they did. Dharmu doesn't care period, and this is the difference between Sulo's kids and Dharmu.
the only point i wanted to make was that of Vaishu and her child. it is wrong of us to speculate what will happen in terms of the unborn child. ultimately it will be Vaishu's call. the child as of right now has will not be questioning her.
The reality of life is CHILDREN r individuals in their OWN RIGHT and don't necessarily behave or react tHE WAY U EXPECT THEM TO . It SHOCKS parents many many times .........thats the tragedy of the parents all over the world . They naively and proudly believe AFTER ALL I RAISED HIM , HE CAN NEVER DO THIS . and Lo behold , the boy marries and starts listening to a woman who never ever raised him but comes from a totally different background .........HIS WIFE . Or a daughter may suddenly start EXPRESSING HERSELF by getting various TATTOOS and wearing short skirts and insist on PARTYING although the mom is simple and traditional ....why ???Coz she meets such a group in school and forgets all her mom's ainstakingly taught sanskaars by geting brainwashed . She then turns and tells mom , THEY ANYWAY STIFLED ME .
yes children are individuals, but then so is Vaishali. She has the right to make her decision, right now for herself and her child...hopefully it will be a good one. yes she has very few options but its not like she doesn't have any, and i hope the CVs don't reduce her to the wife that accepts thing lying down.
The boy I mentioned was very nice and he even loved his mom . She had raised him with solid middle class values . But he wanted to be a doctor .His Dad cud pay his hefty fees ........so he apologised to his mom and went straight to his Dad . HIs priority in life was becoming a DOCTOR . He felt his Moms personal fight with his DAD shud nOT HAMPER his future . The Mom did NOT talk to his DAD and they had a bitter divorce coz he left her for another younger woman . She had refused to take a single penny from him out of pride as she had a job .
Well kids have a mind of their own no doubt. but since the child went to the father for help than its great, it was the child's decision. if VAishu's kid decides he wants the money then he can go to his father...Vaishu is no way obligated to ask Dharmu for help unless she wants to. Why worry about the behavior of an unborn child now? Vaishu's job is to give it all in her power to the child, and if it means without Dharmu then thats her call, and she should have a plan.
Was that boy wrong ? I dont think so . Evaluate . It was HIS LIFE as against his mom's personal principles which were part of HER LIFE .HIS LIFE and HER LIFE cannot be the same .
To each their own, but that did not mean the mother should beg on the child's behalf. If Vaishu wants to eradicate Dharmu out of her life then that is her choice to make. Maybe she feels this is the best punishment for Dharmu.
How's Smarty. hope she gets better soon.