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Kool Comments : Dharmesh issue Edited note pg 15 (Page 7)

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 3:25pm | IP Logged
Great commentary Kool!
 
I would have loved to see Archana continue working, she wanted to but Manav got so mad at the idea that he walked out on her. It would have been nice to see Archana working but unfortunately the CVs aren't going to let that happen.
 
I like that Varsha is working, she needs to keep busy and she seems very happy right now.
 
Vaishali is crazy, she should sue Dharmesh for child support. I completely understand her not wanting anything to do with him but that doesn't mean he should be able to walk away from his responisibilties to his child. He owes Vaishali that much, same with Madhuri
 
I also agree about Manju, that will be frustrating for her to be the only one working and having to support one more person. While it is no fault of Vaishali's, Manju's frustration can be understood. Vinod should ask Satish for a job, at least that will help out Manju
 
Ajit, I am so disappointed in him. First he slaps Vandu, drinks then instead of taking money that Manav told him he could use to pay his bills, he takes it to gamble. He really is falling into bad habits and it is bound to get worse. I feel bad for Vandu too, she doesn't deserve this. Shame on Ajit

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mystifyre

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 3:54pm | IP Logged

Clap Kool in a fighting form.......or should I say spirited????

You spoke very strongly about hunger and empty stomach and principles and self-respect and idealism are possible only in a satisfied and fully fe body......
 
While, you make a very convincing argument, and many will possibly buy it.......It is still the easy way out....It is still the only option that you are choosing for Vaishali.....
 
See, the CV's are thinking ahead of you.....They are showing you cinematographically, what lays ahead for Vaishali, possibly....You are only seeing things one-dimensionally......Money is the only thing that rules in your argument......You are closing all and any doors for Vaishali.....
 
Remember, this is a b*****d child......so, rights, visitation, father's love, both parents, father's  name.....are all idealistic.....the label that will stick will be b*****d......
 
In the western world, we see these kind of punishments.....MONETARY......and you see how that entire society has evolved........People are scared to get married......they avoid it....or they enter into contracts before the marriage......everyone is scared of being sued.....so the doctor doesn't diagnose exactly, leaving a way out.....each and everywhere, you see a WAY OUT......an avoidance of taking onus or responsibility..... Its a totally materialistic society.......where a parent SUES for its child's death in MILLIONS - which is considered JUSTICE......
 
Justice cannot be measured only monetarily......Justice is done only when there is repentance and guilt for one's own mistakes, so that the person is reformed and does not repeat the same thing......
 
I still believe that losing his entire family, friends and name in society - itself is a big punishment for Dharmesh......Maybe, Madhuri will not be able to concieve again, so losing Varun and Madhuri will be the final loss for him....He will be all alone......Simply saying that taking his money means he will NOT do it again or that he will think twice is something which is questionable.......If Dharmesh is a truly black person.....he will make it his vendetta against women - and get married to another rich woman for HER money??????????
 
You discard Vaishali so easily as unable to take care of herself...... She had just finished college, if I remember correctly, so her not working was not a choice or anything.....She got married after college......Does not mean she is NOT capable......I have an MBA, and am a housewife......I choose to be one.....does not make me any less capable in my own opinion.....
 
You have again chosen to show the characters in a way that it suits your argument......
Archana: Manav wants to support her himself......right now, if she asserts herself, then it will affect his ego and their early marital relations.......I think, she is right in simply being a wife as of now.....Many women would choose this route, since it is one of adjustment and marital harmony
 
Varsha: She was shown as rude, brash and outspoken right from the beginning......So, she had an affair, which almost broke her marriage......she couldn't understand the importance of being a mother and her brashness and impulsiveness have already punished her for life.....The CV's are not showing her to be a villain....they are simply showing how a person can ruin paradise, if they are immature and brash......
 
Manju: She is the villain, who uses the small powers she has (her salary) to wreck others lives....Many people in life fit this category.....can't say that the CV's are creating a villain simply BECAUSE she is earning.......
 
 
On the whole, I think that you have started wanting to think like or for the CV's.......so that there is no analysis of your own.....Just because YOU THINK they will not show Vaishali capable, you are closing all her avenues......I think that is wrong.....
 
I am not saying that taking child support or taking Dharmesh to court is wrong.....what I am saying is that it is not the ONLY option.....also the manner in which you presented this option is incorrect or disagreeable....atleast to me.....
 
Each person will think and react to a situation, based on their own experiences in life......which is why we have differing views and points.......However, some things should always be right and some things always wrong......
 
Vaishali has a full family.....All families have their faults.....but in times of problems.....they rally together.....which is what family is all about....
 
The parents have a house in Mumbai.....worst case scenario they can sell it or rent it and live in their hometown on that money.....till such a time as this crisis is over......Vaishali can bear the child and thereafter look after them financially......Now, don't shoot it down, since I know of many women who do support their parents and very well too.....In a matter of a few years, Vaishali can work/study and get  good salaried job......In Mumbai, even today, call-centre jobs are easily available and do pay decent salaries for more than SURVIVAL......Just options......there can be many such options......She can do Tuitions (Sulochana can teach Marathi to children), alterations of clothes can earn a person 8-10000/month / Manohar can do some part-time account work etc.....
 
Give her a chance.......Dharmesh is not the end-all and be-all.....He is a mistake.....She has to move on.....She is young and beautiful.....A few years of hardships will only give her a decent shot at a good life.....Sticking to Dharmesh and trying to milk him off money will only make her miserable and keep the option of re-uniting with the guy open.....
 
Don't get so scared of hardships Kool......We have to face certain situations in life full on......we can't take the easy way out.........Money is NOT everything.....while it is essential......Vaishali is not in dire straits yet......taking help from her Jiju's and parents is not wrong under such circumstances......
 
One point for Naava here........am replying here for your post in the previous thread......I respect your points and your experience......But want to still argue (for the sake of it)......
 
Here, it is not a question of keeping a father away from his child.......this is an illegitimate child.....the feelings towards the father and the other sibling will always be torturous and bitter...... so telling a child a 'lie" for his own peace of mind - would not be wrong....that his father is no more or that he left us or that we don't know where he is etc......When the child is old enough to understand, and his own thinking is stable and secure.....one can tell him the truth alongwith the reasons......Let the child then decide whether he wishes to make contact with the father.....Let me tell you, the child will still be bitter for what has been done to him....but he may be able to handle it better.....
 
But then again, this is my thinking.....I would like to protect my child from a father who cheated his mother and another woman.....its not the ONLY way.....
 
Also about the re-location.....that point was that incase, Vaishali feels that living in such a society where everyone knows her and what happened with her, she and her parents can re-locate somewhere and make a fresh beginnning......its just one of the options maybe available to her, if she so chooses.....
 
 Malinn, you don't need to criticize on what Kools is doing. Kools writes funny and humorous commentary that should make you laugh, but you are criticizing Kool's every point. If you disagree with the point, that's fine everyone has their POVs but you're supposed to be nice to everyone on this forum.
 
 
 
 
 
 

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vishwap

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
KoolsClap

i agree with almost all the parts. i strongly disagree with the following

Look at it from the BABY's angle . The baby will grow up one day . If he finds out that HIS dad was a millionaire and cud have given him a bETTER LIFE and his mom egoistically refused financial help and didnt even BOTHER asking the Dad if he wud provide , he may get WILD with anger . He wud ask perhaps , Why did u screw MY FUTURE for ur ideas of SELF RESPECT ?Why did u bring me up on a meagre salaried income when he cud have afforded the best school , engineering or doctor admissions and university educations etc ? Who ARE u to take decisions on MY BEHALF ?

if the child is raised properly he or she will not question Vaishu, rather the child will be proud of the mother who sacrificed so much to give it a proper upbringing. The money will come with strings attached...


Edited by carpe-diem - 09 March 2011 at 4:09pm

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PiyatrixDabulls23

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
Hey Bhallarox..... I know this is a nice forum.... And I too like Kool's commentary...... I truly hope that I truly hope I am not bad simply for not agreeing with Kool on some points ..... In the end, that's all it is...... Nothing serious and nothing personal.....
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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 4:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by carpe-diem

KoolsClap

i agree with almost all the parts. i strongly disagree with the following

Look at it from the BABY's angle . The baby will grow up one day . If he finds out that HIS dad was a millionaire and cud have given him a bETTER LIFE and his mom egoistically refused financial help and didnt even BOTHER asking the Dad if he wud provide , he may get WILD with anger . He wud ask perhaps , Why did u screw MY FUTURE for ur ideas of SELF RESPECT ?Why did u bring me up on a meagre salaried income when he cud have afforded the best school , engineering or doctor admissions and university educations etc ? Who ARE u to take decisions on MY BEHALF ?

if the child is raised properly he or she will not question Vaishu, rather the child will be proud of the mother who sacrificed so much to give it a proper upbringing. The money will come with strings attached...
 
You mean to say the children who grow up and counter question the single parents who raised them and walk off to the parent who clearly earns MORE MONEY so they can get a better future prospect or education are NOT PROPERLY RAISED  and HENCE THE FAULT of the MOTHERS who raised them ? How did you come to this conclusion caspie and on what basis ?
 
I find this conclusion of yours naive and inexperienced . Is there any way of knowing how your child will turn out as an individual when he or she enters youth ? Look at Sulochana's two daughters ........Archana and Varsha . While Archana adjusts in every walk of life , Varsha rebels in every event and even aborted the child on a whim or fit of anger . Were they sULO's famous sANSKAARS ? I dont think so .........coz Sulo SLAPPED her hard . She abhorred her daughter's deed .
 
The reality of life is CHILDREN r individuals in their OWN RIGHT and don't necessarily behave or react tHE WAY U EXPECT THEM TO . It SHOCKS parents many many times .........thats the tragedy of the parents all over the world . They naively and proudly believe AFTER ALL I RAISED HIM , HE CAN NEVER DO THIS . and Lo behold , the boy marries and starts listening to a woman who never ever raised him but comes from a totally different background .........HIS WIFE . Or a daughter may suddenly start EXPRESSING HERSELF by getting various TATTOOS and wearing short skirts and insist on PARTYING although the mom is simple and traditional ....why ???Coz she meets such a group in school and forgets all her mom's ainstakingly taught sanskaars by geting brainwashed . She then turns and tells mom , THEY ANYWAY STIFLED ME .
 
The boy I mentioned was very nice and he even loved his mom . She had raised him with solid middle class values . But he wanted to be a doctor .His Dad cud pay his hefty fees ........so he apologised to his mom and went straight to his Dad . HIs priority in life was becoming a DOCTOR . He felt his Moms personal fight with his DAD shud nOT HAMPER his future . The Mom did NOT talk to his DAD and they had a bitter divorce coz he left her for another younger woman . She had refused to take a single penny from him out of pride as she had a job .
 
Was that boy wrong ? I dont think so . Evaluate . It was HIS LIFE as against his mom's personal principles which were part of HER LIFE .HIS LIFE and HER LIFE cannot be the same .
 
 

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naavaKalapilunzabee5unknown18

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
Very well written, Kools. There are many many paragraphs I liked.

Yday, I also wanted to add about the part - Vaishali needs to fight so that it is deterrent for him not to continue with his acts further. It was too late in the night and I couldn't write that part until I get on to the forum now. You have written everything so in detail and so well.

There is no Self-respect in:
- being dependent on others for self and child [even though one has rich and decent bro/sis-in-law(s)]
- acting foolish
- not even trying to get justice for your own self
- taking wrong decisions for self and your child(ren).

I needs to be really strong to raise above those pettiness/foolishness and will not make one mercenary or materialistic if one is successful and be able to live with head held high.

It is too stupid if CVs are going to drag Ajit back to his bad-habits.

Archu is Mahaan, so she doesn't get a slap from Sulo.

How can CVs pair-up Shibu with Vaishu? He has referred to her as 'tai' (sister) more than once until now.

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koolsadhu1000

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
There is no Self-respect in:
- being dependent on others for self and child [even though one has rich and decent bro/sis-in-law(s)]
- acting foolish
- not even trying to get justice for your own self
- taking wrong decisions for self and your child(ren).

yes bee . I too agree .
 
Being practical shud not be confused with ZERO self respect .  There r situations in life where u need to get a good grip on FACTS . The facts r That Vaishali will now live at Manjus expense .

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bee5unknown18

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Posted: 09 March 2011 at 5:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by malinn

Hey Bhallarox..... I know this is a nice forum.... And I too like Kool's commentary...... I truly hope that I truly hope I am not bad simply for not agreeing with Kool on some points ..... In the end, that's all it is...... Nothing serious and nothing personal.....
 
bhallarox and malinn, no offence taken  dears .SmileSmile 

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