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Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai

Akshara and her reasoning (Page 3)

_charu_ IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 08 March 2011 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

 I agree with  the point that she needs to pay more attention to Naitik.

But before I humbly put my thoughts on that point, 

I wanted to bring out one fact

That, a wife is someone who is in a relationship that is changeable, where as a mother can never be changed. 

ditto Clap

We have to look at the relationship in a manner where we understand the status of it. 

A wife can never compete with the husband's mother (at least in my POV)

100% right Clap

She will always be on the fire.. agay khada tho pechay khai.. No way is safe for her.

no way is safe for her Clap

If she sides with her husband (when there is a clash) then the husband will be happy that he got the support of his wife. 
But once things are fine, then wouldn't the thought come to his mind that, his wife actually helped him in his rebellion against his own mother? (parents-family)

Who will be blamed then? 

I think, that one has to be tactful when it comes to living in a joint family (or not- because the husband's mother [family] is still in the picture] 

Akshara, here when she tries to please her husband, she somehow gets her in laws angered. 
And when she tries the other way, Naitik gets upset. 

Whom should she follow?

its not simple as follow the husband , why, 
becuase as I mentioned before , once things get better,- the husband and inlaws when they patch up... one thing that remains in the mind of everyone is , 

the wife did not do anything to patch up the husband and the in laws. and will get blamed even by the husband for not even trying

absolutely right Clap

No one is going to blame the husband.

=============================


So THats why its kind of amazing and sad for me when She gets blamed even by us Viewers. 
Yes she is kind of getting idealistic , and whats wrong in that? I guess thats one way of looking at things right? 

she's NOT getting blamed for this..Tongue 

Is being so upright wrong.
=========================

Now about paying attention to Naitik... 

I believe that she does pay attention to him. As much as he needs but the nature of his is of such sort that, he always wants his way and he fails to look at the other person's perspective. I kind of blame his parents for giving him everything , at a simple gesture of his. 

Now, he is failing to understand (sometimes he understands, but a little later , after the damage has been done) the responsibilities of Akshara and in that way he is not paying attention to her.

TO the home politics and kind of undermining her feelings and not looking closely at her home-role-play. 

see, men never understand home politics..in short, aurton ko toh bhagwan bhi nahi samajh sakte, aadmi toh kahan reh gaye LOL i'm a woman but still i'm saying this bec. i've seen this happening with me...if men get involved in these things then mahabharat pucci hai....kisne kisko taunt kiya, woh taunt hai bhi ya nahi, these things should be limited to womenfolk only bec. they understand this code language of taunts.. BTW should naitik not eat corn flakes bec. gayitri will be offended and blame will come on akshara? how will he know until akshara tells him??  and even if she tells him that ma will not like it, should he stop doing what he likes? he's the son of the house and he knows his family well..for him, this is not a taunt ke naitik ate cornflakes in breakfast....for akshara  (or the viewers) this becomes a taunt..why? 

All I ask is.. I think , and I will do this that, we have to give Akshara the benefit of doubt and to not blame her at the first chance we get.

-
sorry if I offended anyone.

you didn't offend anyone..plz dun say this
 



Akshara IS assertive or not? i dun have an answer to this..bec. her character is highly inconsistent...she's assertive in front of Naitik, Baisa and her maayka folks but a few like gayitri & nandini enjoy  special attention from akshara...i've not taken bma's name bec. akshara managed to have some hold on her after nandini's wedding..like she convinced her against giving any kind of dowry bec. mohit will be offended etc. etc......i wud have adored her if she was like that...naive, introvert, sabka bhala chahne wali perfect bahu..afterall who doesn't like idealism? but not in bits n pieces, whenever it's convinient for her !!! for example gopi of saathiya (not sure if u watch it) , she never replies back to anyone ..she's good with ppl. who hate her, taunt her, who love her, everyone ! her character is sketched that way..

there r a few problems which have no solution at all..which r 1) wife getting sandwiched b/w husband and MIL 2) MIL's attitude , i'm with her on this..infact i praised her a lot of times lately that her approach in tackling gayitri IS RIGHT ! i can't post the links here coz i dun remember which threads were those...Ouch

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Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

I understand your frustration charu and I hope I didn't come accross as criticizing may be some posts you made ( that was not my indication) if it did forgive me. 

I was just trying to look at this way that no matter what she does she will never be able to please both parties at once and, 
if she turns rebellious, it can be a temporary solace but once Naitik and family patches up it will be back to square one. 

Now I do agree that she should be more tactful.
Perhaps as you suggested say so , that I will make hot breakfast for you type.....

but I do not think thats Akshara's nature.
It comes to her slowly.
 
But she is learning. 

and I still think she is doing a wonderful job!

yes, therez a positive groW*H in her..n i'm extremely happy with her these days LOL infact i envy her ...i said it in one of my posts that if every DIL follows this approach which akshara is follwing i.e. sorting out every matter then n there, put your ego and self respect on the backseat, apologizing, making saasu  ma feel important and wanted and making sure sab unhi ki marzi se ho etc. etc. toh sab MIL's apni DIL's se khush hoti...but i guess this is a hypothetical situation bec. YRKKH mein toh khush hoti nahi phir real life mein? Confused

(BTW i wrote GROW TH there..these IF ppl. r  so mean Cry)


Edited by _charu_ - 08 March 2011 at 11:10pm

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Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by moonlight08

di.. akshara voices her opinions in front of her mayke wale for two possible reasons..
1. because may be they do listen to other's opinions.. unlyk the singhanias.. jaha kisi aur ko kuch bolne ka mauka hi nhi milta.. naitik too lets akshara speak up..
2. or may be she can afford to take her mayka wala n naitik for granted but no her in-laws.. (gayitri in particular)
 
she spoke in front of baisa.. dat is a different issue altogether.. her parent's izzat was at stake.. uss point par to use bolna hi tha.. she was left with no other option..

Kamudi ye kya keh rahi hai Shocked Baisa jiske saamne Gayitri, BMA aur Daddaji bhi bheegi billi ban gaye the , unko akshara na jawab diya toh it's normal? and what was more humiliating for her parents? ke baisa commented on them ke beti ke sasural ka paani nahi peete aur ye log gift accept kar rahe hai..YE sunna ya phir Rajshri getting humiliated in front of 100 ladies n apologizing for a mistake which she never did? for whom? for nandini? why didn't akshara tell everyone LATER (in Singhania house) that nandini was lying???? with maayka ppl. i agree everyone is free...unko kuch bhi keh do, that understanding is at a completely different level..to an extent with husband also...

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Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

I understand your frustration charu and I hope I didn't come accross as criticizing may be some posts you made ( that was not my indication) if it did forgive me. 

I was just trying to look at this way that no matter what she does she will never be able to please both parties at once and, 
if she turns rebellious, it can be a temporary solace but once Naitik and family patches up it will be back to square one. 

Now I do agree that she should be more tactful.
Perhaps as you suggested say so , that I will make hot breakfast for you type.....

but I do not think thats Akshara's nature.
It comes to her slowly.
 
But she is learning. 

and I still think she is doing a wonderful job!

plz buddy i'm not frustrated..it's good to read varied POV's..it's a good healthy discussion..we r grown up adults not teenagers LOL

she can never turn rebellious and i said it earlier also in one of my posts that being tactful will also not help...bec. she's stuck in this situation (well, max DIL's are..it's a reality) where finding the middle path seems impossible..she might do it bec. she's a heroine but may be we cannot do it practically ..i agree, that's her nature n it's not gonna change...bas once in a while if she replies back to gayitri we all wud be jumping with joy LOL

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Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

 I agree with  the point that she needs to pay more attention to Naitik.

But before I humbly put my thoughts on that point, 

I wanted to bring out one fact

That, a wife is someone who is in a relationship that is changeable, where as a mother can never be changed. 

We have to look at the relationship in a manner where we understand the status of it. 

A wife can never compete with the husband's mother (at least in my POV)

She will always be on the fire.. agay khada tho pechay khai.. No way is safe for her.

If she sides with her husband (when there is a clash) then the husband will be happy that he got the support of his wife. 
But once things are fine, then wouldn't the thought come to his mind that, his wife actually helped him in his rebellion against his own mother? (parents-family)

Who will be blamed then? 

I think, that one has to be tactful when it comes to living in a joint family (or not- because the husband's mother [family] is still in the picture] 

Akshara, here when she tries to please her husband, she somehow gets her in laws angered. 
And when she tries the other way, Naitik gets upset. 

Whom should she follow?

its not simple as follow the husband , why, 
becuase as I mentioned before , once things get better,- the husband and inlaws when they patch up... one thing that remains in the mind of everyone is , 

the wife did not do anything to patch up the husband and the in laws. and will get blamed even by the husband for not even trying

No one is going to blame the husband.

=============================


So THats why its kind of amazing and sad for me when She gets blamed even by us Viewers. 
Yes she is kind of getting idealistic , and whats wrong in that? I guess thats one way of looking at things right? 

Is being so upright wrong.
=========================

Now about paying attention to Naitik... 

I believe that she does pay attention to him. As much as he needs but the nature of his is of such sort that, he always wants his way and he fails to look at the other person's perspective. I kind of blame his parents for giving him everything , at a simple gesture of his. 

Now, he is failing to understand (sometimes he understands, but a little later , after the damage has been done) the responsibilities of Akshara and in that way he is not paying attention to her.

TO the home politics and kind of undermining her feelings and not looking closely at her home-role-play.

All I ask is.. I think , and I will do this that, we have to give Akshara the benefit of doubt and to not blame her at the first chance we get.

-
sorry if I offended anyone.

 

@  Moonlight,

but Kaumidi, there  is a scope for complaint, not Akshara as an individual, but surely Akshara as an 'inconsistent or somewhat underdeveloped character in stagnancy. And you know, my primary fan ship is to her.

@ red,

Here its other way round. Mother is competing new entrant with reluctance to forego her primacy in her son's life- though not a complete denial to this adjustment, in this case. 

Tact should not override viewers' common sense take of a characters' natural feelings to her husband- with a constant and artificial opposition to her husband while complying with others- again constantly.

While agreeing to sensible tacts, she ought not bend when even natural justice or dignity is violated in name of stringent orthodoxy. The 'ideal' character must grow a spine, defies an injustice and support/ follow her husband/ or righteous. The trial by subsequent 'peace' should not make her 'unheroically' inconsistent. And if her husband forgets this support in time of normalcy, she must remind him and all others, the actual injustice of that scenario- clearly and promptly.

A tale's advantage to set up the flow or incidences comes handy here. As well as overall success of idealism. In setting up the incidences showing correctness of that stand.

And then there may not be much ridicule of a 'one-sided'-conveniently tactful and flexible uprightness of this character.

Your third Para about Naitik's role is well put, agreeing to most of it. The character's development from this natural timidity in new environment and her progress… or her difficulty in providing full attention to her husband, all is understandable, but what we want is progress not stagnancy.

P.S. You are not offending anyone, on the other hand, it's an interesting conversation.

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