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Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships
Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

Plzzz Help Me !!!

whatiswhat Newbie
whatiswhat
whatiswhat

Joined: 07 March 2011
Posts: 1

Posted: 07 March 2011 at 3:55pm | IP Logged

Cry Cry Cry

Hi everybody !!!
 
I am(24 yrs) completely new to this forum and i need help/advice/suggestion from you all !!!
 
I am terribly confused and upset for whats going on in my life..  yes.. i am in love with a guy who i know or the past 3 years.
 
He(32 yrs) is the one who proposed me for marriage. In the beginning both ou paretns were completely against this. the reson being we are from different states, language, caste.
 
He is a brahmin  and im not. We have been comvincing our parents and recently 4 months back my parents agreed for this as i was very stubborn and rejecting all other guys my parents were seeing.
 
But unfortunately my guy is not strong always and never thinks the same way i think. he cares more for his family and very much inclined towards them. 
NOw situation has come like, my parents have come down so much that they want to do this marriage asap and ready to anything for it. but his parents aer very adament and want us to get apart asap.
 
he is confused whether to leave his family and get married to me with the help of my parents. We are assuring him that after marriage his parents may come down and talk with him again.
 
its just temporarily losing them or permanently losing me.. pls suggest on what we should now

-Lostindreams IF-Stunnerz
-Lostindreams
-Lostindreams

Joined: 15 February 2008
Posts: 41554

Posted: 07 March 2011 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
I hope u wont mind this. But if i was the guy and loved my family like they were evrything for me(if it was my situation since i love my family) i wudn't marry a girl my family was against.
Reason for tht is my family is truely evrything for me, EVERYTHING.
Sorry for tht.
 
But if it really has to be in the filmy way, then he cud just marry u and wait for his family to cool down.

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Bolly*_Crazed

Bolly*_Crazed IF-Dazzler
Bolly*_Crazed
Bolly*_Crazed

Joined: 21 January 2006
Posts: 4740

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 5:39pm | IP Logged
This is why you NEVER go against your parents to marry a guy. I wont list all the reasons here... but in your case you fought with your parents for him, and in return what'd he do ??... And remember you guys aren't even married yet. If I were you i'd talk to him, and if he still isn't sure and making your parents and yourself wait...Id move on..and listen to my parents...

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naila123321

iTangled_25 IF-Stunnerz
iTangled_25
iTangled_25

Joined: 08 December 2008
Posts: 41604

Posted: 25 March 2011 at 7:09am | IP Logged
One hell of a situation! But NEVER go against your parents! They know what's best for you!

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Jugnu_244

Ali IF-Dazzler
Ali
Ali

Joined: 29 January 2006
Posts: 3776

Posted: 25 March 2011 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
OK so now from MALE perspective
First Hi and Welcum to this forum , I m sure you'll find good advice and friends here

now to your situation...
see if you and your parents both have now finally agreed to get you married to this guy   then it is time for the guy to convince his parents

If he cant do that then it is silly to wait...even if they now accept.... you trust me [(I hope not)] but they will give you trouble and same saas bahu jhik jhik. you wont be happy, he wont be happy, your parents wont be happy and his parents will also not  be happy,,,,so rather than everyone being unhappy you should listen to your parents....

though I live in US and younger than you...I know abt cultural differences in india and how much trouble they can create after marriage
-Believe- IF-Stunnerz
-Believe-
-Believe-

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 27243

Posted: 26 March 2011 at 12:18am | IP Logged
Originally posted by whatiswhat

Cry Cry Cry

Hi everybody !!!
 
I am(24 yrs) completely new to this forum and i need help/advice/suggestion from you all !!!
 
I am terribly confused and upset for whats going on in my life..  yes.. i am in love with a guy who i know or the past 3 years.
 
He(32 yrs) is the one who proposed me for marriage. In the beginning both ou paretns were completely against this. the reson being we are from different states, language, caste.
 
He is a brahmin  and im not. We have been comvincing our parents and recently 4 months back my parents agreed for this as i was very stubborn and rejecting all other guys my parents were seeing.
 
But unfortunately my guy is not strong always and never thinks the same way i think. he cares more for his family and very much inclined towards them. 
NOw situation has come like, my parents have come down so much that they want to do this marriage asap and ready to anything for it. but his parents aer very adament and want us to get apart asap.
 
he is confused whether to leave his family and get married to me with the help of my parents. We are assuring him that after marriage his parents may come down and talk with him again.
 
its just temporarily losing them or permanently losing me.. pls suggest on what we should now
 
Parents se poooch kar Love kiye dheee!!!?????Ouch
 
Then ab sudden Parents/soceity/relatives beech main kaise aaya............What its realy mean!!!??SmileIs it true love!!.... love is given for the sheer joy of giving it...... it is not a bargain!When you choose a person, you commit yourself to the person's totality...!!! Think/Communicate openly with ur partner!!
 
I have never heard about any perfect marriage.... They say perfect marriages are made in heaven..... Nobody comes back from there so maybe it is true, bt what kind of marriage will those perfect marriages be? There will be no tension, there will be no individuality in the man or in the woman.... They will never collide, they will never fight.... Thy will be too sweet to each other. And too much sweetness brings diabetes!!!!Smile
 
 
 
princessonline IF-Dazzler
princessonline
princessonline

Joined: 11 November 2007
Posts: 2849

Posted: 31 March 2011 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
I would just like to you that you should do what's best for you and what you feel is right because no one but yourself will know what's best for you.If I was in your situation I would have personally let the guy go. The reason being is I wouldn't find stability in him. If he knew that his parents were going to be the ones creating an issue or are very stubborn then he should have told you in the beginning and before you started to convince your parents. It makes more sense that way. The other reason if he is still unsure who he would pick when it comes to you and his parents that what kind of stability and insurance do you have. What if you guys get married and something happens between you and his parents who will he pick? If he picks his parents what will happen to you? I know this seems far fetched but it's your whole life you're talking about here and you have to take every small and big thing into consideration before making a decision. If you leave him I am pretty sure it will take some time but you will move on in life and maybe find someone else who is much better then him and loves you too. But if you decide to stay with him and his parents agree then once you get married you can make your relationship with his parents much better and stronger. But at the end choose the way that leads you to a brighter future where you have complete insurance and stability.

Riya
..HeMish4ever.. IF-Addictz
..HeMish4ever..
..HeMish4ever..

Joined: 13 March 2011
Posts: 52563

Posted: 02 April 2011 at 7:03am | IP Logged
sweeti he must try to make his pearents allow him to marry u when thaey c his deep love 2 u they will not say no but u must not let him left his pearents no- pearents like Paradise for every one

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