Posted: 22 September 2011 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
OMG! I never expected such an emotional response but it felt good. Sorry for making you guys cry. I just wrote the epilogue of this story in my end and I am super duper excited about that. I know I am supposed to be working on the next chapters but I 'm weird okay? Anyway I got the job -he he... and thats why I am so late. Thankfully there was a strike today and I didnt have to go to work.
So here is the next chapter.
The door creaked open and there she was. Her eyes slightly red and her usually flawless skin had two glaring splotches. She had been crying..
The thought made his heart beat faster. He couldnt help but hope that she still loved him. That she still wanted him. He knew it made him selfish but he was that way when it came to Ridhima.
Arman was utterly awful and desperate when it came to Ridhima Gupta. He stared at his angel as she came to stand next to his bed.
She eyed him very intently and then softly asked : "How are you?"
"I feel fine" he replied hoarsely .He did feel fine. Suddenly everything seemed brighter.
Ridhima looked down and then up at him. " You scared us all"
" Why?" he asked his eyes intent upon hers
" Why what?"
" Why were you scared?" he asked feeling his heart lodged in his throat.
She looked up sharply at that. " We were scared because we care about you..."
" Do you?" he asked desperately , his eyes shining with tears " Why do you care now? I thought you loved Sid"
Suddenly the soft demeanor she was carrying changed and she looked furious.
' Is this why you did this?" she asked angrily " To prove a point? To prove you still matter to me?"
She turned on him angrily :" God Arman you are so pathetic"
" You let us all cry our hearts out. You make us sick with worry because you wanted to prove a point"
" Listen to me..."
" No!" she yelled " You listen to me. Do you know what I went through the entire time on my way back here? Do you know how guilty I felt? Do you know Sid couldnt even look me in the eye when he heard this? Do you know how much Shilpa is hurting" She turned around laughing bitterly "Of course it doesnt matter. All that matters is that you prove your point.."
" I dont mean it like that" he protested
" Really? Then explain this to me, Arman. You say that you are letting me go but everytime I try and move on with Sid you do something to make me feel guilty. You say you would do anything to help me make my marriage work and then ..." she trailed off, her face coloring as she thought of the tent incident " If thats what you want then why did you come our honeymoon and why did you touch me like that?"
" You responded to me because you loved me. You didnt love Sid"
" My body responded to you. It was a purely physical attraction. There is difference between love and lust, Arman." she shook her head. " You came there to prove your point that because I responded to you, it meant I love you. Similarly in your head you would act like I came here today because I love you"
She sighed "You always manipulate me, Arman. Even when we were dating you manipulated me. You took my indecisive nature and firced me to do and act as you wanted"
" I didnt want to say I love you to you so quickly. But you made me confess..." she cried in her hands.
" You love me, Ridhima. Why dont you accept that?"
" No, Arman. I loved you very very much. But its in the past. And because I loved you, you will always be a part of me. I will always care about you. It doesnt mean that I want to be with you. The person you loved is no more here, Arman" She sat down pleading at his side.
He looked at her, tears flowing down his cheeks.
" Arman, I know you care about me, And that is why I am requesting you-let me go. I have moved on. I am married. I love Sid. I want to spend my life with him."
He pulled his hand away "I 'm not stopping you"
" You are. Because I cant live happily with him unless I know you are okay. You are safe. I cant live happily with the guilt that you are tormenting yourself. I cant be happy if you arent happy. Just like you cant be happy if I am unhappy"
There was a silence and then Arman broke down " Ridhima.. Ridhima.. I cant.. I dont.. I dont know how to live without you" he gasped
Ridhima wiped away her tears " You can, Arman. I know how you are feeling. I felt that too when I lost you. I felt like I lost myself. I thought I would die. But then Sid came and he changed everything. " She thought of the beautiful girl outside and smiled slowly " And someone is there waiting to do the same for you..."
" I cant.. I cant love anyone else but you. No one will replace you"
" No.. I know she wont. But you will love her too. It would a deeper,more mature love. I will become your puppy love- the sweet memory of your youthful fun. Just like you are to me. You will always remember me with a smile. Just like I would remember you but it would be a beautiful dream we shared. But this girl would be the one who will share your life, who would hold your hand on your deathbed. Just like Sid would hold mine on my deathbed."
She knelt down and took his face in her hands.
" Arman, you need to let me go. Only then can you live. Only then can I and Sid live. Only then can you meet this girl. Only then can you meet yourself."
He looked up at that.
" When we became Arman and Ridhima, you lost yourself. Now you need to find yourself Arman... you need to find yourself..." she swallowed " If you dont, we will both be lost in this obsession over the past. Let me go, Arman"
He closed his eyes and hugged her close. She held him to herself, letting him cry onto her. She shushed him and comforted him.
" Let me go... Let go.."
It felt like hours before he moved away. His eyes were liquid blue but they were clearer. She smiled sweetly at him as he nodded.
" You are right" he said " I need to let go"
She stood up to leave.
She turned back to see him smile at her.
"I need to see Aarti, dont I?"
" Yeah.. You are a bigger nutcase than I ever was..."
" Please like that could ever happen..."
They both laughed and Ridhima walked down, feeling ligher than ever.
She could see Shilpa's eyes on her as she spoke to her father. The younder girl stood silently as her sister talked. Ridhima quickly turned to her and nodded reassuringly "He is fine. You could go meet him if you like"
Shilpa quickly shook her head " NO.. I just wanted to know if he was okay and now I do.. I dont need to see him.."
" You feel better once you have seen him" Ridhima said kindly
" No Di..." she shut up immediately as she saw the look on Ridhima's face. "I meant Dr. Gupta"
Ridhima sighed and sat down. She pulled Shilpa down as well.
" I have been very awful about this,havent I?" Ridhima whispered " I never knew my father- but the moment I found out he abandoned me, I hated him. I hated him so much. I didnt know how he could have done that to me and so any reminder that I wasnt Dr. Shashank's daughter-I resented them... I 'm sorry" she said shaking her head " I 'm sorry you had to break your last promise to him"
Shilpa took her hand " No, dont be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. I understand you. What he did to you was awful but he wasnt a bad person. He made a mistake- a mistake he regretted always. I think that was why he was so nice to me...thats why he took me in.."
Ridhima's eyes widened " You arent his biological daughter?"
" No.. He was my father's best friend. My parents died when I was six. Malhotra uncle took me in and treated me like a daughter. He was my everything. He wasnt bad.. He just made a mistake.."
Shilpa wiped her tears " When I lost him, I lost my family. I have noone in the world now.."
Ridhima smiled" You have me. We are sisters right? "
Shilpa hugged her and Ridhima reveled in the intimacy. She pulled back and added laughingly " And you have Arman"
Shilpa's smiled dimmed "No. Di.. I .. I .. "
" I know how you feel and trust me once Arman has found his brains he would make you happy" It was the supreme irony. She was matchmaking for Arman!
Shilpa's eyebrows were furrowed. She looked mighty confused " But you love him"
Ridhima nodded "Yes, as a friend. I would always care for him... But I am in love with my cute husband.." she added with a blush
Shilpa stood up with a start "Oh my god Di...Sid..."
" Sid- he thought you and Arman.. He said he was leaving..."
And in that moment Ridhima felt like crumbling to her death.
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