Did I say you guys rock? If I did- well thats because you do and I am repeating it. I am really boosted up again so here come another part. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 6
Aarti looked at the peaceful smile on her face as she spoke " Did you love him?"The question startled the wits of her. She almost leapt up when she blurted out " NO!No..I cant..I didnt..I.."
Aarti acted like she was genuinely confused even though I had made myself clear. "I beg your pardon?"
"I dont love him" Ridhima said trailing off
Aarti nodded "And you never felt anything for him?"
She wanted to shake her head;she really did but her mind chose that exact moment to flash on a moment that she often dwelt upon somewhere between sleep and consciousness.
The soft feel of his hair as she ran her through it- the utterly peaceful way he slept at her side denying even in sleep that all the hatred that he professed for her was not real. The soft contentment that stole upon her as she saw him sleep-after weeks of anger and resentment catching him at a vulnerable moment made her feel fuzzy and warm. She couldnt stop the sweet smile gracing her features-It was as though her heart had warmed over to see Sid sleep next to her.
"Ridhima.." Aarti said curtly "Are you with me?"
"I- um..I am" she said slowly shaking her head.
"Good" the doctor smiled "You didnt answer my question?"
Ridhima opened her mouth to answer but the doctor put up a hand " I am assuming that I ask too much but I need to understand you to help you. Also Ridhima, I think your restlessness has something to do with this love triangle in your life and I need to know all about it."
Ridhima nodded "I understand"
"Good" Aarti said again,looking at her watch "I am afraid we have run out of time but we shall continue this next session.Meanwhile I want you to keep a diary about this sessions. What you tell me and what you are thinking when you recount the past. Start with our first session"
Ridhima nodded, feeling like she had been handed homework. She bid her doctor goodbye and went to Sanjeevani. Her father was still not allowing her to do surgeries -apparently she needed approval from her psychiatrist which was not forthcoming- but he allowed her regular check-up and other duties around the hospital. She met Dr.Kriti when she entered.
"Ridhima-I am really glad to see you. I was just going to meet the new interns and I am thinking you should handle them for the first few months" she said
Ridhima sighed. Working with interns wasnt easy. She hadnt been an easy one to maintain when she was an intern.And the brief time during which she managed Sid and gang was challenging. She shook her head fondly as she remembered the insults he used to come up with.
They reached the nurse station and Ridhima noticed three nervous-looking faces. Kriti took charge immediately explaining the code of conduct ,rules and objectives of internship. Ridhima watched from the sidelines examining the three faces. The petite girl with voluminous straight hair was wearing specs and a very simple kameez. She was looking as though she was trying to memorise every word Dr.Kriti said- Ridhima smiled at her eagerness and looked at her name tag.- Dr. Simran Singh
Standing next to her was a tall,willowy girl with curly hair and a confident smile. Dr.Pooja Trivedi had sharp intelligent eyes which took in everything sharply.She was not conventionally beautiful but there was something attractive about her. And finally stood Shiv Raichand who was busy checking out every girl in sight. Ridhima sighed-the troublemaker-There had to be one in every group.When Dr.Kriti had finished her introductory speech Ridhima took over assigning their duties and wishing them luck.
Simran raised her hand. Shiv laughed "Come off it kiddo-its not kindergarden"
"That enough"Ridhima said firmly " I dont want any such comments ever in my hospital. Dr. simran did you have a question?"
"I was wondering if Sanjeevani has any affiliations with BMC. I heard one of Sanjeevani interns is presently working with Dr.Carmichael of BMC."
Ridhima eyebrows furrowed. Dr.Carmichael was one of the famous doctors in genetic field. His assistants are all from Harvard. She wondered who was brilliant enough to get a job with him from Sanjeevani.
"Thats right though we have no ties with BMC. The intern accomplished that on his own.You are dismissed" Dr.Kriti announced.
Ridhima turned to her senior doctor. " Who.."
"Dr. Modi.." Kriti said slowly "Dr. Sidhant Modi"
Ridhima stopped as the words sank in. A happy chuckle broke out of her. "That-that is amazing. I cant believe I didnt know that"
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He hated long flights. He always had- the long hours of doing nothing always made me too restless. There was a limit to sitting around doing nothing but now he was quite inclined to just sit and watch the dark shapes of clouds in the sky. They all say things change when you grow up- and for Sid growing up was too sudden and too abrupt.
One day he was a kid enjoying everything and next day he had learned a lesson that life didnt always end on happily ever after. Most people dont know the exact moment that they grow up-Sid could pinpoint it.The day Ridhima found out the truth about Arman was the end of his child-like maturity-That was when he finally grew up,understood the human mind and its dimensions.
He shook his head and plugged in his headset into the provided plug, surfing through the in-flight entertainment. He was in no mood to watch a movie so he selected a random playlist and stared out of his window.
The sky was dark in the outside. Now and then they passed grey shadows in different shapes. He was staring mesmerised in the darkness when the song changed.
Jhoka hawa ka aaj bhi
Jhulfen urta hoga na
Tera Dupaata aaj bhi tere
Sar se sarak ta hoga na
Immediately she flashed on his mind- Her soft silky hair flying all about and her ever-flying dupatta. He could imagine her in Sanjeevani dressed in chiffon salwar suits ,her hair flying in the air and her dupatta trailing behind her as she walked forward.
Thandi hawaien raaton mein tujhko
Dhakiyaan deto hogi na
Chand ki thadak
Khawaboon mein leke to jaati na
Suraj ki kirne subah ko teri needhe uraate hogi na
He had always wanted to wake up next to her, only to see her the first thing in the morning. He often imagined how beautiful she must look sleeping peacefully basking in the moonlight. Waking up to her face lightened by the first rays of dawn would be a luxury. And yet the moments never came.
Just like the soft wings of cupid that never fluttered her heartstrings. The love that he kept on waiting for but which never blossomed.The hope that someday he would make her smile,someday he would be the one to make her eyes sparkle,someday the world would be brighter,someday she would love again,someday spring will return. But spring never blossomed for them and it never would.
He took off the headset with a disgusted grunt. The last thing he needed to be doing was the listening to some song which would make him remember her. For that is something she would never do-she was living her life as she wanted and had no place for his memories. He just needed to accept that.
From the headset thrown carelessly on the side of his seat he could still hear the next line of lyrics.
Ek ek meri baatien tumko yaad toh aato hogi na
Yaad to aati hogi na
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The open window let in the wind billowing the curtains. Ridhima stood beside it,her mind in the sky. She was looking at the sky but the words of Dr.Aarti kept on popping in her mind?
And you never felt anything for him?
The answer should be no. A firm no- because that is what the circumstances showed. She married Sid for her family and then divorced him because she loved Arman. Sid was her duty,Arman was her love. And oil and water dont mix. That is what Arman believed and that is what all her friends and family suspected. She knew Sid thought that too and she wished she could too.
But the reality had been different- There was a time where Sid had made her heart beat again. And a time when his proximity had unnerved her.
He stood like a statue behind her. She didnt even realise that he should behind her until her eyes met his in the mirror. She saw through his eyes that she was desirable and ir made her nervous and oddly jittery. He moved forward to tie her backlaces and she grew anxious.The thought of his fingers on her bare skin was strangely disconcertingly and exhilarating. Being Sid he knew and he closed her eyes and she closed hers. And yet that made it more real- the anticipation and the anxiety. The tips of his fingers sent sudden jolts down her spine.
Ridhima flushed as the thought fluttered in. His closeness always made her dizzy with anticipation and his sweet kisses never felt nwelcome. She enjoyed the feel of his arms against her. She knew she was attracted to him- even before he said he liked her.
But more than that he had mattered to her. Their marriage had mattered to her. The craziness of it all was that she knew this. The idea of him with another woman tormented her to no end. Yes she had feelings for him. She just didnt know wht those feelings were- Just they used to feel good and now they hurt badly.
A/N: I am happy with this part. People who want pm for this story and are not in my friendlist please add me. Sidhima faceoff coming in next part
Edited by Neha_S - 13 years ago
