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adventure_gurl IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
loved the updates Aditee keep it up!

aditee IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
Since the show is getting cuter by the day
I will use the opp to ask the faithful  and responsive ones a question
Maybe its time for  a curtain call on mine
 
 
 
A quick poll:
Please Hit "Like" if you want me to extend it for another 5 or 6 parts.Big smile
 
If you dont hit "Like" I will consider the torture to be excruciating and will end it in the next part or twoLOL
It has to end sometime....... so why not this week?Wink
 
Should not take too long to wrap it up
 
The "silent" 800-1000 can respond also
 
Or pretend like they never read it and so can be glad its gonna endLOL
 
Thanks for reading
Really appreciate every comment and inputClapClapClap
 
Will post the next part tonite.
 
If I dont see many "Likes" will wrap it up by tomm or the weekend......
Thanks so much for reading and loving it
 
 
A
 
 


Edited by aditee - 06 April 2011 at 10:11pm

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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 10:45pm | IP Logged

Obviously continue!!!!!!!!!!

Hadh hai.....why 5 or 6...take it to more than that......

Loving the way this FF is turning out!

 

 

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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
Pleaseeeeee! Why are u playin with our innocent emotions Cry Don't end ur FF so sooon....Cont. as long as u can! Big smile You can even *cough* drag it a bit, we won't mind Big smile Short updates bhi chalega!!Embarrassed But don't wrap it up Unhappy

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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 11:17pm | IP Logged
Aditee sorry for not responding of late, too many things going on & also the hangover of our victory is still lingering. But no excuses should have replied. Big smile
I am loving this story which I don't need to reiterate. The last 3 parts that u updated makes it look serious. Khanak is thinking about her parent's reactions all the time which means she is thinking  beyond attraction. And Shaan's request to learn Gujrati, that is a sure shot sign that he is serious. By now he has realised that Khanak comes from a traditional family & her parents would feel free conversing in their own language & so the effort to learn it. He knows there are major differences in their families & upbringing & it will be one hurdle less if he can speak their language. This is what I am thinking but u can correct me if I am wrong. Here Shaan is more mature than the show's Shaan & he thinks further, beyond the surface. So I am guessing this is the reason.
Though u write from Khanak's perspective I understand ur Shaan more, now don't ask me why! LOLWink He interests & intrigues me more & I definitely want to know his view point in this whole subject. I was going to ask u to write about it & then read u r planning to. Thanks. And I know he wasn't two timing Khanak, he wasn't serious about Mahi the way he is about Khanak. So that was a mere phase which now belongs to his past. I am talking only about Shaan here, not Mahi. Big smile
Some parts really make me go all mushy, his taunt about Khanak as Florence Nightingale, Big smile too funny! His holding her finger even when Nivs entered, a daredevil once he is serious, his making Khanak feed her the M&M's, too casual & cute & finally her tying the sling.............too adorable & s**y! Their talking to each other in their ears & she bending to tie that behind his neck raised so many pictures in my mind. Big smile I know I am a devil, but what to do, ur story is bringing that out more everyday in me! Big smile I so want to know the other end of the pallu which lies on the back, where was it then, on Shaan? Her untied hair, was it flying & touching his face? I don't want physical connection but these mere unnecessary details makes me happy. It feels so surreal! And I loved that entire sling update, it was very intimate. Her enquiring about his family, telling some1 should be there, again more than mere concern & also again the differences in their background becomes more prominent.
Overall fantabulous! And pls don't even think of ending it soon. I won't pressurise u if u r tied down with work but otherwise definitely carry on with it.
Am enjoying this immensely. Thank u!

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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
aditeeee..kya yaar..emotional attyachar...we want more parts...and luvving all the updates...and dont u dare 2 end this so early...abhi to aag lagi hui hai ...pyaar ka declaration se hi yeh aag bujhega.....

so now..pls continue....

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aditee

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Posted: 07 April 2011 at 12:01am | IP Logged

PART 21

 

In an attempt to wrap it up in the next part or two I will leave this open ended, which will make it easier to end if I want.

This part is Saaz's request also

She knows what she asked for!Embarrassed

-----------------------------------------------------
Friday 8:30 AM onwards

His driver was late, so he missed his 9 O clock at the site, he still was headed there to track progress on the second floor roofing'''.. His iPad and iPhone lay on the seat beside him, he shut his eyes every few minutes, and rested his head on the seat. He smiled more, for some reason. He was totally infatuated by her. He thought about her all day. Her cool poise, the way she wore her saree, the way her face was scrubbed clean of make up, the kohl lining her eyes, and that smile'''.. he would bequeath his fortune in a heart beat for receiving that smile every day

She spoke rarely but was opinionated. She was tactless frequently but did not rant.

 

She didn't talk to everybody she worked with, did not socialize with all the females at work. Nivs and Paula were her only "work buddies". He knew her hubby's name was Sooraj, her face and eyes had sparkled for a moment, Shaan had felt like some one had ripped his gut out. For being a very private person she had unwittingly revealed something about herself in that moment. "She was capable of giving immense love and passion, except Sooraj was the only person to have received it".

Her aloof exterior was ruffled each time he had approached her physically. She backed off nervously. Almost like she was hiding or running away from something or did not want to "be seen with someone".  She had "pursued Sooraj" she admitted''.. "Must have been SOME guy!" She had not explicitly declined Nirav's proposal either. Maybe her aada will force her into holy matrimony again? She would relent and be gone from his life?

His parents did not care who he dated or married. At least that's the impression he had gotten till date. At his best bud's Mayank's wedding which was inter caste, they had actually teased him about it. Wanting to know if he had a special someone tucked away someplace. Mahi was a Punjabi, she loved to cook, he enjoyed her company, she talked constantly and worried about how she looked''' all the time. For her "being seen with him" was all that mattered. She would take their pictures and post them on her FB profile. He would laugh and ignore it when his friends would taunt about dating a "wannabe socialite". She was OK''

Khanak was different, she was self righteous, principled, proud of her past to the point of it becoming a log on her shoulder!! She was completely unaware of how attractive she was, or may be she hadbecome that way after losing her husband. He was curious to know where they had lived, what connected her to him'''. Why she still believed she loves him deeply.  She didn't seem to rejoice or gloat at the attention he was paying her, unlike Mahi who would have taken out a full page ad someplace. She never asked him what he did in the evenings, or weekends.

 

She lived in her own world. She showed up at work. Beyond that, not many knew anything about her. "She would never agree to have "just a relationship", NO!. That was just not Khanak.  She worried enough to show up with Nivs, but aloof enough to walk away when he insisted she stay the afternoon on Tuesday'''

He wanted to meet her parents, he had never wanted to meet any of his girlfriends' family ever before. He wanted to see what she looked like first thing in the morning, he was curious to know what she did when she was all alone in the house, if she slept on her back or her side'''..did she tie her hair at nite?

Is she afraid of the dark?  Does she laugh out loud when she watches slapstick? Did she always eat all of her rotis first and have almost full bowl of subzi still sitting on her plate? Her face turned red when she ate anything spicy'''.she always took two tiny sips first of her coffee or chai '' not one but exactly two almost as if she were taste testing.

She had lovely handwriting, she covered the page with wonderful "art" at the edges doodling during meetings

She loved glass bangles, and bright colors''.her clothes were incredibly sexy despite being utterly decent.

She had looked sexy in the figure hugging "Creative chicks" tee. He ran his fingers thru his hair in frustration

Are M&Ms her fave candy? Is she always so gentle and caring when someone is sick? Does she always tuck her saree in her waist when she is trying to get work done? Why doesn't she wear a saree more often? How long does it take her to wear one? Is her hair tied when she is wrapping it around or falling around her face while she focussed on the task'''. He wanted to lay in bed and watch her wear a saree'''..

Who ties her dori at the back on her blouse? Does she smile at the mirror and admire the reflection? What did her wet hair look like?........ what did she look like when more than her hair was wet? He had found  a mole below her collar bone''. How many more were there?''' he wanted to hunt. He didn't care if he wasn't paid for that task.

She had the softest hands and the most gentlest of touch. She had gasped when he had approached her, he wondered how it would be if he held her'''' really held her. He would definitely add shave to the nightly list of tasks before bed''''.EmbarrassedEmbarrassed.

 

The driver pulls into the noisy dusty parking lot at the Site. He gets off carrying his PC and his phone.

He is wearing blue jeans and a white cotton shirt with shoulder straps, folded sleeves.

Too many meetings happened in not enough time, his moment of glory happened when she walked in

In white, her hair was tied'''. She looked like a 16 year old. She was too nervous to look at him directly so grabbed a chair by the wall. He stood up to speak, he could see her clench her fist, hiding his smile he went on to the whiteboard to make his drawings.

The meetings ended at around 8, she looked like she was in a hurry

 

He approached her.

Shaan: Hi! Khanak. Wont you ask about my arm? (swings it)

Khanak: Hi!....... Yep! Great. I have to go

Shaan: I can give you a ride. Hang on. Don't go

Goes off to speak with Nachiket and Raoul Menezes

She fidgets and looks really nervous'. He wonders whats going on

Nachiket and raoul throw googlys (?) and it takes him forever to step out

Khanak: Aapko kaam kar lena chahiye. I can take a cab.

Shaan: Why are you in a hurry? (suspicious)

Khanak: Oh nothing (evasive) I am quite capable of getting home from here you know (tries to laugh it off)

Her Aada had called in the morning to give her the "good news" that Nirav really liked her and would like to meet her once before the "engagement". Nirav was planning to call tonite he said. She was terrified her phone was going to ring the moment the clock struck 5)

Shaan: I am sure you can, we are not talking about your capabilities here. Lets not fight until we get to the car? Please?

Khanak: You don't have to do this is all I am saying

He stops, speaks a tad bit louder "Why not? We havent seen each other in 4 days, do you realize that?" (Frustrated)

She blushes "Ive been at my office"

Shaan: Phones were invented'''. Let me make a wild guess  cellphones were invented in 1973 (sarcastic)

Khanak suddenly feels lightheaded at the joy caused by his statement'' "He wanted her to call him"

"he really did"

Khanak: Mujhe laga aap recuperate kar rahe hongey'''. I shudnt'''..

Shaan: You were not going to call me if I hadnt shown up for three weeks?

He opens the passenger door of the gold Merc for her (the driver is gone in the evening), he is pissed'' she sits'' he grabs her laptop case, tucks her dupatta in gently, but SLAMS the door.

Walks around starts the car, powers it, unmindful of her dupatta draping the gear, holds it and reverses it swiftly, her dupatta slides off her shoulder'''. She waits, he picks up the edge and hands it to her''..

Shaan: NOW''.. we can fight''..

Khanak: I am happy you are doing well. I noticed the shoulder was purple on Tuesday (anguished)

Shaan: Oh! Don't pretend! If I handt been here you would have gone home and gone off on to meet your next suitor

Khanak: That's none of your business. That's such a horrible thing to say''''. I don't meet "suitors every weekend.

Shaan: Oh! Don't you? I thought, Daddy'.. or Aada in your case would have had a dozen lined up by now

Khanak: I am glad he is doing it. I cant wait to get married'''.. again (softly)

Shaan pulls over into a quiet street and slams the brakes. He gets off the car.

She is afraid her phone is going off any minute

She nervously steps off and follows him

Khanak: Hamey chalna chahiye

Her phone RINGS

Its Nirav

She stares at it, he has walked by and sees a number'' he looks at her face having lost all color.

Shaan: Who is it?

Khanak: Don't'' know''.. I mean''' I know'''. Its'''.. actually Aada'.. mera matlab Aaada ne ''its N'..Nirav.

His arms are folded across his chest, she is leaning on the back door, he is looking at her straight

The phone continues to ring

Khanak: Huh'.He'.hello

Nirav: Hi! Khanak.  How are u? (In Gujarati)

She responds'. He asks something else.. she hesitates and responds again

Khanak: Umm'' can we talk later?

They excahnge a couple more sentences in Gujarati and he hangs up

Shaan has placed his hands on either side of her shoulders

Shaan: So? When is the engagement?

Khanak: I d''.. do'.. don't know (trying to sound aloof, but actually squeaky)

Shaan: So you havent rejected the proposal yet? (blistering)

Khanak: No! (smug)

Shaan: Then this should help!

He bends down and kisses her fully on her lips.

'''''''''''

Later her forehead is resting on his drumming heart, she is clutching his waist with both hands, his hands are still on the car window.

Khanak: U are probably gloating in your mind'.. yet another middle class type has fallen for you, you could easily have a good time and smirk about it later '' another conquest added to a long list (whispers into his pocket) (ashamed, embarrassed, mortified at her own response to the kiss)

He bends down and speaks into her ear: "You will be the first woman I am going to make love to in my life, Khanak Mistry"EmbarrassedEmbarrassed

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
I can end it in the next one...... if popular vote indicates 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Edited by aditee - 07 April 2011 at 12:18am

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Posted: 07 April 2011 at 12:09am | IP Logged
DONT END ...
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee
 
Aditeeeeeeeeeeee ... Its going Great !!!!!!!!
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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