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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

Casa 50B on 146 Most links on Page 1) (Page 40)

iluvmanar IF-Dazzler
iluvmanar
iluvmanar

Joined: 09 October 2010
Posts: 3052

Posted: 27 March 2011 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
aditee..thanks 4 the update yaar..just luvved it..waiting 4 the next...

-Ray- IF-Dazzler
-Ray-
-Ray-

Joined: 31 October 2010
Posts: 3727

Posted: 27 March 2011 at 11:03pm | IP Logged

Superb Updated !!

pls post the nxt part soon.
kubare IF-Sizzlerz
kubare
kubare

Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 19907

Posted: 27 March 2011 at 11:08pm | IP Logged
Aditee darling caught up all the parts and have to say...one thing...you truly are a fantastic writer dear and know the art of ending on the edge and keep us hanging for more....
 
The last time I read he reached her place unannounced..on finding out that shes a widow...loved it all...from her being in casuals to her staring at his booted feet...to him being jealous of the picture on the mantle...
 
Loved the conciousness they both have for one another, loved the scarf bit, the bangle bit, the srunchie bit, the peek at the wais bit, him standing to close for comfort bit....him noticing her enter playing with her srunchie on should she tie her hair or not.....his staring at her khol lined eyes......and most of all loved all their verbal sparing...
 
So Khanaks father wants her to remarry and she does not want to..to be away from Shaan....and he still wants to get her out of his mind.....lol. Love how you have explored their feelings for one another...and the confusion in thier minds and ...ooopsss .....love Paula....lol
 
Aditee can't wait to read more...especially when one of those guys her father chose for her calls her or meets her..and hes finds out or is around......
 
So till your next update dear.....loved it all....*muwah* 

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dishbhanaditee

aditee IF-Rockerz
aditee
aditee

Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 7594

Posted: 27 March 2011 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
What a lovely analysis Krish!
 
I am honored.
 
Youve made my story sound like a real show!
 
Such reviews are the greatest reward for me
 
Thanks so much!
 
I try to make it interesting by ending it in a "anticipatory" manner
 
That way, the curiosity is maintained
 
Its a fine balance between not stretching it too long (like the ILU track) vs saying too much in one part (coz many have pleaded with me not to end it for months)
 
Thanks a lot
 
You all make it worth my while to tell this story of the cutest celluloid couple on desi TV.

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dishbhankubare

dishbhan Goldie
dishbhan
dishbhan

Joined: 16 February 2011
Posts: 1728

Posted: 27 March 2011 at 11:25pm | IP Logged

"THIS  was the Bombay he knew! THIS was the India he had grown up in. These were the people he most identified himself with. He could just be himself. He did not have to be guilty about being wealthy or being sinful or lecherous or wild. Most under this roof were like him. There was no pretense. People just did not take their life too seriously around here.

 Laughter, chatting, random dancing, refill drinks, more dancing'''.in between Shaan notices a quiet gal sitting by herself at a booth wearing a skirt like Khanak usually wore to work, she wore glasses, and was reading a book in the awful light.

She walked around not even sure why she was there at that hour. Maybe she had walked by hoping he would be around, may be not..................... something drew her inside and here she was............................ holding the glass case in her hands and generally gawking at his cube.

Shaan: Did u need anything?

Turns around startled.................. he stood there, leaning on one side of the entrance, blue jeans and a turquoise tee with 4 letters on it SRUF''.. or may be its........... Oh! ITS SURF, her mind corrected her.

Their eyes meet knowingly..................

His hands are back in his pockets, he just waits and watches...................

Shaan: You weren't actually looking for me were you?

Khanak (alarmed) Oh! No! I knew most people have checked out, so you might be gone also,( though you weren't here all day)

Shaan: Nope! I am here!

She turns around and meets his eyes..................."

!~!~!~  Haayee!!!

awesome writing, I can so imagine KT and Yashu in the scenes, especially with their eyes meeting and they softly speaking the lines.

too good hai ji !!!!!!

but too short yaa!!!! next wala bada update jaldi dena ...

~Cheers,

Dish

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aditee

lghosh IF-Rockerz
lghosh
lghosh

Joined: 29 May 2008
Posts: 9262

Posted: 28 March 2011 at 12:32am | IP Logged
Thank god before logging off I just thought of checking up on ur story & here I am, bang, with a new update! Big smile Thanks so much!
U know why I love ur story so much, other than the characters I love the way u write. Its so crystal clear to the point, so crisp, no unnecessary analogies, no similes, but some real life-like incidents happening daily in our lives occurring here & yet leaving an impression because under the surface it has a spark, an inextinguishable fire burning in two hearts which even the concerned people can't do anything about. Most mundane situation taking a larger than life scenario with the way u present them with ur spartan dialogs leaving an ocean of meaning 'unsaid' which keeps haunting the characters & me! Big smile
So well etched out characters with their background & character & nature that I can easily relate to them & know them inside out & yet feel intrigued to know more about them, the unquenchable thirst that is lingering on both Shaan & Khanak is also lingering on me! Big smile
1st Khanak tries to find out why he didn't come to the office, then whether he was with his gf or not, then she calls him on excuse of work & now she goes to his room checking his things out...........someone must be very happy now! Wink No matter how much they squabble he must be feeling very hopeful about her! Big smile
Lovely fantastic, keep it up! Clap

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nk.mailaditee

Xx.Phoenix.xX IF-Rockerz
Xx.Phoenix.xX
Xx.Phoenix.xX

Joined: 28 March 2010
Posts: 9169

Posted: 28 March 2011 at 1:08am | IP Logged
Beautiful part aditee...
d dialogues r too gudd...!!very well written..
luvdd it....!!gr8 jobb.....!!
 
do cont. soon...................!!
iluvmanar IF-Dazzler
iluvmanar
iluvmanar

Joined: 09 October 2010
Posts: 3052

Posted: 28 March 2011 at 1:56am | IP Logged
pls aditee/...jaldi karna yaar//.....

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