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lghosh IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 8:17pm | IP Logged

Aditte atta gal, there u go! Tu ne mauke pe chauka nahi chhakka maara hai! LOL Why I am grinning from the morning u know, teri Khanak ne meri hansi bandh nahi karne de rahi hai!! I am so sick & tired of all the 'sati-savitri' female leads who r always right, too-goody-shoes, never does anything unthinkable or wrong, never leaves an opportunity for 'lamba-chauda bhashans' to their other halves, is always teaching a lesson to their husbands who r invariably wrong & running after the wifes apologising, never is spontaneous or never thinks doing something 'out of the box' is good...& here u r giving us Khanak who though is against the idea of marrying Shaan but is unable to control her own desires, the spontaneous response of herself to Shaan whenever he is around, or even being acutely aware of him even when he is not around, she waits for his call & tells him she doesn't want to do anything with him & then accuses him why didn't he call, she tries to reject his proposal & yet says she can't have her child first, she doesn't want him to come after her & yet revels at his pursuing her endlessly...man I was rolling off the couch every time I read it!! LOL This is the 21st century & we r today's women! Really the things they show in Indian soaps is hardly the case even in India. Finally we see a woman here where she looks normal & human! Big smile

This last update I want to delve into each & every word & in every line, it had layers & layers of meaning & thanks for the amazing job u did! I love this Shaan, as I said, no 2 ways about him, bold & straightforward! Khanak she is trying to keep up with her upbringing & yet the desire & want for him is tilting her equilibrium, she wants to do the right expected thing & yet his perseverance, his pursuing, his raw desire is gripping her to the core & she knows she can't stay away from it & to say the truth she is enjoying the attention. This turmoil was really unexpected, seriously never thought she is so hooked, booked & overcooked by him. LOL I can imagine their days after marriage! And she will be there in every step of the way with Shaan if not ahead, that will keep him mesmerised for sure. Wink

There r so many things I wanted to write but won't be able to stop if I start! Shaan's dialogs were awesome, specially when he asks her what is her problem!! That was staring right on the face. And she I thought was tongue tied for a second there without knowing what to say! She knew he will see through her facade.

And she knows her parents will be there on her return to B'bay & yet she didn't stop him. She wanted them to see him. And most importantly, SHE wanted to see him even if it was in presence of her parents. This is how ur Khanak works, she reminds me of flying a kite, first she lets go of the thread & then she tries to hold it back & then again let it go again! If that makes any sense but I am loving this tumultuous attitude of Khanak, the fight within. Big smile

And the last para, can't praise u enough for that! That's as bold as it can be, as factual as it can be, as true as it can be...that will be them, unable to resist each other & the need to demand, pursue, asking for more, comply with the other's demands & taking pleasure from it, that is what real life is all about & that is what ur Shaan & Khanak represents! Splendid!

And yes I agree, 'Love' nowadays is jaded! People use this word almost in everything be it food, pets, friends, siblings, work, boss, bf's or gf's or in case of spouses. The concept is too generalised & taken for granted. I won't say I am an authority or expert in it but yes, have seen the so-called-deeply-in-love-couple walking their separate ways after some time. Right or wrong, I won't go into details but somewhere 'till death do us apart' is taking a backseat nowadays irrespective of how 'Love' once played a cupid. Fact is 'Love' has its highs & lows, ups & downs & when a couple comes out of it together facing the problems & resolving it, that is where 'Love' gets triumphant.
Ok will stop now, I never tend to stop where ur story is concerned. Big smile Finally wrote the thesis that I was longing for, sorry for the length! Unhappy

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pooja.88nk.maildishbhan-Unknown-22aditee

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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:00pm | IP Logged

Part 35 C Shirdi Guest House April 9th 10 PM

Khanak: Monday nite? Nahiii Aada ghar par hongey, main unko kya kahoongi?

Shaan smiles "Yahi ki mujhse milne ja rahi ho

Khanak: Very funny!

Shaan: Do you want me to call him?

Khanak: No! I don't think I should go.(sanity creeping in with time) Maine aap par naraaz honey ke liye call kiya tha.

Shaan: Who to tum kar chuki ho, you were accusing me of planning all this.

Khanak: My Dadi and bua will never agree. You should just tell Dadi, I cant go ahead.

Shaan: I am happy you would even consider it Ms Mistry (sarcastic)

Khanak: You don't even know how many siblings I have.

Shaan: You are an only child, Dadi told me.

Khanak: OK then what is my fave food?

Shaan: Something Gujarati, hmmm'' I have no idea.

Khanak: You don't even know

Shaan: That doesn't mean any thing.

Khanak: What time do I go to bed?

Shaan: We'll find out when we get married.

Khanak(ignoring him) I could be the most annoying irritating person you've ever met. What would you do then?

Shaan: I know that already (chuckles)

Khanak: What a hurtful thing to say! I will hang up then''..

Shaan: Don't, Khanak'.. talk to me

Khanak: Aap to busy honge na?

Shaan: In an hour or so, well go out to dinner.

His phone clicks with a call waiting

Shaan: Hang on a second

Back in a minute "Sorry I am back"

Khanak: You should take that call

Shaan: It's a friend, I can call back later

Khanak: Mahi? No, never mind don't answer it. My life is very complicated. I come with an emotional baggage. There are days when I feel extremely guilty for even thinking about you. My Dadi thinks only a  divorcee or a widower wil ever marry me. All the drama your proposal is going to bring will only additionally complicate my life'.. (there is silence) aap sun rahey hai na

He is utterly shocked and outraged her Dadi would so something like that

Shaan:I am listening Khanak (softly)

Khanak: It could just be an infatuation, we both may grow out of it in a couple months. Tab shaadi aapko waste of time lagega (she carefully avoids including herself in the group).

Shaan: You have a point! (thoughtful)

Shaan: I might just have to marry Mrs Vora's daughter or Ritu maybe (serious) when I decide to get married

She goes back into her shell, aloof and distant

Shaan: Are you having a good trip (polite)

Khanak: Yes thankyou. My cousins loved the chocolate you sent me

Shaan: Those were for you!

Khanak: I gave it to them (nonchalant)

Shaan: Did you like the pictures?

Khanak: Yes, I thought I thanked you,

Shaan: You did not, you never answered my phone two Sundays ago.

Khanak: That was because of the ''''

Khanak: Did you drive to Matheran?

Shaan: Yep!

Khanak: Oh! (shocked)

Shaan: I do it all the time.

Khanak: You should not drive up to see me tomm nite then, it would be too late.

Shaan: We just decided we wont get married so I don't think I will come see you.

Khanak: I am sorry, I forgot. Abhi aap jayiye. I will see you at work on Monday?

Shaan: Yep, I think so. I am sorry for whatever grief Dadi caused you guys.

Khanak: I cannot be upset with her, ever.  I think your Dadi is just adorable (sad)

Shaan: Will you be as sad to part from me? (jokes)

Khanak: Seeing you at work everyday makes it impossible to miss you.

Shaan: I need to be gone more then?

Light hearted playful banter, flirting, both unable to let go and hang up the call.He knows its definitely more than what she ever says to him F2F, from all the days put together. Soemthing abt the distance, something about the fact that a marriage proposal was let go, something about the fact that they both like to hear each other's voice.

Khanak: Umm'.. maybe''. I don't know

Shaan: Will you be at Ajmera all of next week?

Khanak: I dnt know, I did not bring my lap top, hamey nahi maloom tha yaha guest house mein rukenge, Kaka ne to dharamshala book kiya tha

Shaan: Is there wi-fi in your room?

She is looking, hence quiet

Shaan: Have you gone into your silent mode again?

Khanak: Umm no, I was just looking for wi-fi.

Shaan: Dhruv and Trishna are leaving Tuesday nite.

Khanak: Oh! Itni jaldi?

Shaan: Its been two weeks Khanak, he has to go back to work.

"Such a big change! Moving to another continent" she thinks.

Khanak: they are a lovely couple. It was a wonderful wedding,  I hadn't been to any Punjabi wedding before''

The silence is prickly.

Shaan: Iam glad you enjoyed it Khanak.

There is a knock on her door, someone is rotating the knob

Khanak: I have to go'''.

Shaan: Good to talk with you Khanak.

Khanak: You have a good dinner''.. and nite

Shaan: See you soon? (bland)

Click!

------------------------------------------------------
He lays back on the sofa and thinks about the three conversations that happened earlier in the week. Smiles.
Sunday April 3rd Mangal Kunj Malabar Hill Midnite

His Mom was the first to accost him

"Whats wrong with your Dad?"

Shaan: Why?

Madz: He seems to have lost his mind

Shaan had smiled

Madz: Nevermind your Dad, what did you think of Ritu? Ritu Kaushal was it?

Shaan: Yep! I like her shes funny!

Madz: Hmmm' are you attracted to Khanak? (his Mom never could keep anything bottled up)

Shaan: What kind of a question is that for your son, Mom? (jokes)

Madz: Shaan, stop kidding

Shaan: Am I supposed to answer that? Do you give me a time out if I don't?

Madz: Shaan!!

Shaan: Ya Mom I happen to like her''.

Madz: You like her too?

Shaan: I mean, ya to answer your question

Madz: Kyon Shaan? Why HER? Mera matlab, Ritu is just so right for you.

Shaan had burst out laughing, he was not supposed to be drawn to someone that did not fit his Mom's criteria

Madz: What is so funny? Khanak mein kya hai Shaan. There are 100s of such middle class types, that work at the NGOs I frequent.

Shaan: Mom, back off a lil will you. She is not around to defend herself here. She is an architect, that works for the one of the Big 5 in Mumbai.

Madz: OK what else do you know abt her?

Shaan: That's abt it'' she is awfully quiet, shy, but extremely willful and opinionated.

Madz: That's great to have in a co worker Shaan not in a wife.

Shaan: Who said anything abt marrying her?

Madz: Don't worry, your Dad and Dadi are scheming.

Her phone had rang so that convo had ended right there on Sun nite

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, Mangal Kunj, April 5th 10:30 PM
Dadi was missing her latest issue of Natl Geographic so she had come up to the media room/family room on Mon nite. Finding him alone, she had decided to chat, started first about what a good Sunday lunch it was, and how they should do it more often etc.

Dadi: Tumhe Khanak kaisi lagti hai beta?

Shaan: Kyon Dadi? (impassive)

Dadi: Bus yoon hi.

Shaan: She is good.

Dadi: Who Sunil ka ek dost hai,tum jaante ho usko Utsav Patel, jo semi condoctur scrap mein deal karta hai, he has two boys just like your Dad?

Shaan: Oh ya, Keshav and Madhav? What abt them?

Dadi: Sunil ne socha, Khanak would be absolutely great for Madhav. UC kahan ka hai?

Shaan: Berkeley! (miffed)

Dadi: Main aur Sunil ja rahe hain is weekend

Shaan had sat right up on the couch, "Khanak and Madhav?"

Dadi: Haan? Don't you think they will make a wonderful pair? He is tall, smart, and reserved just like her!

Shaan felt like  his gut had been punched.

Shaan: Dadi, I don't think she wants to be married now (all knowing)

Dadi: Sab ladkiyan shaadi ki baat chhedo to aisa hi kehti hain beta. Unko dar jo lagta hai. (smiles)

Shaan: But  you know abt Khanak

Dadi: Yes I do, jaanti hoon, Khanak ne bataya mujhe

Shaan is shocked, for being such a private person she had voluntarily supplied this info to Dadi, she hadn't done so to him either two months ago, he had over heard Paula and gone charging to her house accusing her of lying to him.

Right then he knew there was something between them. She had smarted from his presence, was wary of him'..

Dadi: Tumhari baat hui kya Madhav se?

Shaan is irritated that Madhav will marry her and whisk her away to California.

He knew he wasn't ready for marriage himself, but didn't want her to become Madhav's wife either. Dadi was opening up a whole new can of worms.

Khanak had already walked out on him coolly after rejecting his offer for an affair/fling. Now seeing her as Madhav's bride wud be enough to gut his insides out.

Shaan: Nahi Dadi, not really, he touches base just before he heads to India, sab busy hain. I am in the middle of a messy project too, this is my shot at becoming a VP. The first non-owner VP at Ajmera (smug). If I don't get it, I might go back to Boston, then I can be in touch all I want.

Dadi: Tum waapis jaane ka soch rahe ho? (shocked)

Shaan: Kya choice hai Dadi? (the girl I dig doesn't care for me, you want her to get married to Dad's friend's son, I might as well pack my bags)

Dadi: I would be sad to see you go. Atleast Shaadi ho jaati tumhari to I would be so happy. Do you have anyone in mind?

Shaan thinks "Finally! Someone is thinking abt ME"

Dadi: Lekin tumhari to girlfriend hogi na? (mock sad)

Shaan: I have many (smiles flirtatiously)

Dadi: I knew it, that's why I suggested Madhav for her. She is very different. She won't tolerate nonsense. She will defend her territory ferociously.

He felt his heart race, as he was reminded of the times she had expressed possessiveness and jealousy. "Dadi was right"

Shaan: I am not serious abt anybody

Dadi: To bina shaadi kiye kaise ja sakte ho US? Ladki? Hmmm sochti hoon'..

Shaan: Umm'' to get married?

Dadi: Nope just to hang out''.. ofcourse marriage you dummy!

Shaan: Dadi abhi main shaadi nahi karna chahta. Mom keh rahi thi ki Dad aur aap meri shaadi Khanak se''''.

Dadi: Kya keh rahi thi (breaks into a slow mischievous smile)

Shaan: OMG! I cant believe you were pulling a prank on me (smiles sheepishly, running his fingers thru his hair, shaking his head, stand up tucks his hands into his pockets of the track pants walks up to the windows)

Dadi: Sunil thinks she would be perfect for you!

His heart hammered a foreign drum beat.

Shaan: I am really not going to sign up for a wedding Dadi (reluctant)

Dadi: I am still your DADI. An affair is unthinkable for me, I am old, OLD, 75, Its wrong!

Shaan thinks "She is not old and even SHE thinks she doesn't want an affair"

Dadi: You two are made for each other

Shaan: OK That's quite clichd!

Dadi: You are(made for each other)''.. will you trust my instinct and say yes?

Shaan had looked at her in shock.

His Dad had walked in that moment and Dadi had spent the next 20 minutes narrating the prank.

Sunil has a hearty laugh, Shaan is visibly irritated.

"I cant believe I fell for that prank. Maybe you should speak to Madhav about her" "But then she will refuse (or so I hope)"

Dadi and Sunil chalk out the game plan, Shaan shakes his head discouraging them as many times as he could.

Sunil: Here is the deal Shaan. If Dadi is able to pull it off, will you agree to marry her?

Shaan: Pull off what?

Dadi: Main Shirdi ja rahi hoon Saturday ko, waha pahunchkar bataoongi.

Sunil: Its about time you spent your evenings with someone your age Shantanu Gujral (firm)

Dadi: Not to mention Ahem...nights! (winks)

 

 



Edited by aditee - 26 April 2011 at 11:00pm

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lghosh IF-Rockerz
lghosh
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Joined: 29 May 2008
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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
Ooohhh me, me, me the 1st to comment!! Big smile Will write in more details!
Aaja Aditee jaadu ki jhappi!! Kya update diya! I was so desperate to know the happenings in Gujral household in the past few days & finally I have it!!
Now there is another person I love, Dadi! Like grandma, like grandson!! Big smile She totally took him for a ride & he was fooled big time!! Hahahaha This is what happens when u r blinded in love, whether u call it love, attraction or desperation or desire or whatever, u tend to falter!! Big smile
Ok loved that incomplete convo between Madhavi & Shaan! That 'time out' comment was hilarious! Again I like Mad's POV, very normal & practical. Will wait for the 2nd round though. And Shaan not yet willing to commit but just taking it all in casually & suddenly gets a 'jhatka' from dadi! And he is still not sure about marriage but is willing to go ahead just to have 'ahem' nights!! LOL Again this line had me rolling! I am laughing too much nowadays courtesy u! Again a pragmatic approach of Shaan about marriage. He is too young, too busy climbing up the career ladder, have plenty of girls if he wants to...so right now idea of marriage won't even occur to him. But this girl comes & creates a havoc in his system which he can't get rid of & thus gives in to the combined plan of dadi & dad. But all said & done there was something that made him say 'yes', even he himself doesn't realise this now. Or else a guy like Shaan no matter what wouldn't have agreed to marriage if he didn't feel it from his heart.
Ok now to Khanak & Shaan convo!
Ok again love Shaan for the 'no pretense' attitude, he is 'what u see is what u get'!! He confessed dadi informed him she is the only kid, her favorite food he has no idea of & classic, what time she goes to bed, 'we will find out when married'!!! LOLLOLLOL Another bout of laughter hit me there. Too open & straightforward! I am falling for this guy now, ok, ok I know he is taken!! Big smile And another thing what I like about him is he doesn't laugh openly but has a keen sense of humor. He kind of keeps a straight face with a slight smile tugging at the end of his mouth & can make us go rolling on the floor with his voice modulation! Well, that is how I see him! Big smile That remark about irritating personality of Khanak looked very straight faced to me & yet I laughed imagining that.
There was a very important point to note in the whole conversation, he just got a glimpse of Khanak's family's mentality for the 1st time which is a total contrast to where he comes from. He was shocked to hear about her dadi & bua's outlook & I am sure he will be shaken to the core when he will meet them in future. And I think it will be another jolt to him which will make him all the more adamant to tie the knot with Khanak & to prove all of them wrong, to prove them Khanak has a right to enjoy life too, to LIVE life, to love life, to be loved & cared, to be pampered & indulged. And that might be an eye opener for all, be it Khanak, her parents, family, dadi, Sunil or Madhavi about how serious Shaan is about her & what he feels for her! It might be a shocker for Shaan himself! Well I am conjuring up so many scenarios now but will wait & see how u build it up to a climax.
And Khanak apne jaal mein phansi! Big smile She thought very cleverly to exclude herself from the 'marriage waste of time' comment but in the process became aloof, distant & sad in the end. She really thought he would negate what she was saying!! Girl, come on, this is Shantanu Gujral! U have a long way to go to learn about his ways Khanak. And as I wrote in my previous post Khanak desperately wants his attention & pursuing & yet she puts up a bravado to fend him off.
Both r playing this cat & mouse game & enjoying it too. One is openly showing it while the other is secretly enjoying & cherishing it. And then again she comes back to his 'not meeting her' concerned about his long drive & getting disheartened by his response. Seriously girl, get a grip! Wanna bet with me whether he will be there in the bus stop or not?? Big smile
Fabulous Aditee! Its past 11pm & I am happily typing away to oblivion, that says a lot about ur story & writing. Thank u!!


Edited by lghosh - 27 April 2011 at 7:23am

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pooja.88k.krithikank.maildishbhan-Unknown-22aditee

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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:19pm | IP Logged
Aditi kya kar rahi hoCry
 
I love Shanak and hate the mention of Ritu even from him...You said this part will be about the Shaadi and other things...
 
I dont know what happens in marriages but I do believe in the institution of it...
 
And I want an "I love you" ...I dont care when but please put it in!

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dishbhan

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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
My Dadi thinks only a  divorcee or a widower wil ever marry me.
.....such a rude thought but so true  !!!  Confused

I m loving shaan's dadi Smile
thanks for the flashback, clears lots of confusion . 
thanks for the update, love it. 

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dishbhan

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Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
hi
loved it yaar..
i guess this is my first commnt on urs..
bt i m ur regular reader...Tongue
plz  update it soon
god bless u Smile
dishbhan Goldie
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Posts: 1728

Posted: 26 April 2011 at 11:52pm | IP Logged
I LOVE YOU Aditee .. thats for sure!!! tere story ke characters bole na bole, main tho bindast bol deti hoon (kisi ladke ko aise bol pau ke nahi .. not sure).

I love you for your art of writing fantastically and creating a lively story, which one can imagine and feel a part of...

What a prank played by Dadi ... bahot acha laga ... his Dadi is so cute!!!

And their convo was also too good!!! I am looking forward to monday in your story Smile


~Cheers,
Dish


Edited by dishbhan - 27 April 2011 at 12:18am
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Posted: 27 April 2011 at 12:31am | IP Logged
For a  minute , I was scared Aditeee ... Reading the Shanak Convo !!!
I was likee .. .Whoaaa ... Marriage not happening ???
Nooo !!!!
 
Daadi is Smart Eh !!!!  I Like !!!
 
Continuee Sooon ... Great update!!!
Writing toh as usual LaaJawaab .. Its Grippping !!!
 
BTW ... Shaaadi kabhi hain ... I am restless now ...
Once they get married ...Then they can never think of denying each other !!!! LMAOOO !!
 
 
 

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