Kool's Commentary : 28 Feb PR - Page 6

Posted: 13 years ago
 
Vaishu's attitude towards her her saas is absolutely uncalled for.Her anger and mulish stance with her MIL is completely misplaced. Amongst the 3 sisters her saas is the most calm and good natured one. So there is no reason why she cannot confide in both her saas-sasur about Dharmu's kartoot with the help of Manav-Archana.
 
I also see no reason for her to hide it from Satish and with his help tell Varsha. How long is Vaishu planning to live in the chawl with no long term plan for her and her baby's secure future?
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Arre yaar, they are the biggest fools. They have everything in their favor, even Madhuri and Varun-the biggest evidence; and they've given power to Dharmesh. Reading wirtten update and Kool's commentary on the recent puja episode, I really felt as if they were frightened out of their wits that their secret was going to come out. They could have, no should have told everyone, someone with more brains as soon as they found out. Now they're going to be discredited and even if Dharmesh's truth comes out, it'll be as if Vaishali is no better than Dharmesh. And I'm all for it. People who dont fight and infact protect the criminal should not cry wolf when he turns to eat them.
Posted: 13 years ago
 
I agree with you .I do feel very sorry for the old girl but she is to be blamed as well for the mess she is in ..
No , I am not talking about the Shraavni marriage actually ....that was mostly Manav's doing .Sherma is right .Even if savita was against it he would have done exactly what he wanted ...Very stubborn man ..bu tthe way savita has been keeping this hate thing going and being stubborn  ...This is what is totally messing up her life ..
 
Her son too is  to be blamed for not sensing that something  is wrong with this woman ..The hate is very much there and it is very wrong bu tthat is a different issue , there is an issue about her forgetting things and manav should  at least talk to his father about it ...
 
Both Mother and Son love each other but they both have unknowingly hurt each other so much ....
 
At the end of it all when everything will be Ok , I hope Manav will think back how his stubborn nature  has caused pain to the very people he loves ....First it was Archana whose love had to go through a test of fire and now his mother who despite of the wrong behaviour towards his wife ...does need him a  lot right now  and he fails to see that ...


Tanyaz, I agree that Savita's behaviour towards Archana is very bad. Maybe she even hates her-but is it totally unwarranted? I think she did hate Archana immediately after their second marriage, but since then I think she's mellowed down and accepted that Archana is part of Manav's life now. She just wanted to know that her place, her relation with her son was still intact-when she asked Manav in a roundabout way about calling her to inaugurate his shop. Would he have lost anything if he said , just lied to her that he thought of it himself? And frankly, if somebody I loved brought a person "A" to me and said you HAVE to accept this person, I would hate that person immediately. Even if "A" might have been the best person in the world. Savita knows that she will have to accept Archana, but cant she take some time? Cant she be a mother to Manav in the meantime? Maybe even if Damodar had supported her instead of Archana always, I dont think Savita would have hated Archana so much. But here,both her husband and her son are constantly telling her you should accept her, you should be like her, you're not good enough. Do you think it's unnatural that Savita hates Archana in this case. It is totally natural-it is definitely misdirected, Archana is not at fault here-but she is the one who Savita is being constantly compared to.
Posted: 13 years ago
Hi Kool,
I agree with your points on Manav and Savita that he should not push her away from his life, but I also feel that Savita should forgive and forget what ever she thinks of Archana and bring them both to her house.   Why is it so hard for Savita to do this?  If she is stubborn and evil headed herself, then this MaSa saga will continue.  Savita is not all that saint....!
 
Posted: 13 years ago
I have not seen the epi so going only on the updates:

elder children feel a lot of stress from their responsibilities and the fact that they have to put the family interest before their own. I know this because I have seen my older sister and how she is bogged down in her role as the eldest.  She gets frustrated, lashs out sometimes, rebels even and so I can empathize with the feeling of suffocation that an eldest indian child goes through in middle class India.  but deep down inside once the frustration has been released in small doses, the deep love and bond is evident for anyone to see.  which is why I was willing to see Manav's side of things in addition to Savita's.

yesterday when manav was arguing with his mother, he said some unkind things, some may call it a wakeup call for Ssavita but the way I see it there are two sides to this story - manav's and savita's.  manav thinks that he is being a tolerant son (inspite of savita's abuse towards his wife)  and savita thinks he is forcing her to accept a situation she does not want to.

understandable and so the heated dialogue was expected. there is a nasty undercurrent between these three and until all is forgiven or forgotten all conversations will involve nasty repartee. 

As mothers, as women, we feel more for Savita than Manav inspite of her obvious traits i.e. short and hot tempered,  crude language and manner.  Yet If I were to be lenient, more than his tone his final words bothered me.  For me to have given him some leeway, he would have had to end that conversation differently.

if I were a woman/ wife, I would want my husband defending me (even from his family if they were mean to me through no fault of my own) but I would not want him to severe himself from his paternal home for me.  his personality is directly tied to who he is and where he came from. if I did distance him then a huge chunk of who he was will vanish. that is unfair to him.

Manav is frustrated. fine. he expressed his frustration fine.  but instead of dismissing her (as he always does) he should have held her hands tightly in his and looked her in the eye and said "Mother, I have tried in the only way I know to keep you and my wife in my life but now I am at my wits end. I do not know how to please you without breaking my marriage and that I will not do, so, you tell me how can I have you in my life and not break my marriage. and that would have showed her he was firm about his marriage, he was frustrated and he CARED."  If this is how he ended then inspite of the heated dialogue I would have been more flexible in seeing his side of things.

what disappoints me most about manav is that he has always seen quitting as the only solution.

he saw archu and was attracted to her but thought her out of his reach and quit - tarun forced him into her life

he saw archu with satish and thought it was a better match and quit on getting her back- archu forced herself back into his life

he did not know how to say no to shravani without looking dishonorable so he quit on his marriage- shravani had to release him from his word

now he does not know how to be manav deshmukh and archana's husband so he quits on being the former and only performs the role of the latter - now archu will be shown teaching him the balance.

this is what disappoints me.   he never has the solution. he always needs some third party to fix his problems.

Manav's position should not be like my wife or accept me with my wife. His solution should be if you cannot like my wife then tolerate her enough not to say anything about her in my presence.

No one likes something that is forced on them - it is human nature - every conversation with his mother does not need to include Archana unless Archana and his mother are living to gether and such conversations are unavoidable. he should let her feel secure in their relationship again and then she will automatically beinterested in his life with archana. that too is unavoidable. 

it is simple change management strategy. we use it in our lives everyday with our kids. we do not thrust something that riles them in their faces, we  give them space and time to accept things for what they are.

Edited by --Hope-- - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by priya_sparsha


Great Commentary Kools! How you been? 🤗
 
I am fine thank u priya dear 🤗  
Honestly, I have lost interest in watching this show. Everyday is getting worse in PR. Savita is too depressed and so broken down. Nothing is left in her right now. And I dont know why Manav defends someone else's mother but hurts his own. He doesnt see the difference right now. Relationships cant be replaced. If savta is not accepting archu, then these both have to work together. As long as manav is going to stand beside archu and against savita, this problem will never end. Making up for someone's relationships will never do anything good. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. I'm not saying that he shouldnt support archu at all but constantly supporting her and telling his mom that she's always wrong will only make things worse. A question I have asked again and again who is Sulo to him compared to Savita .
 
Sulochana is a good beta right now because he is supporting her daughter. If he supports his family,then he is a bad damaad. Why did she even feel bad if savita slapped archu? Didnt she slap manav 3times? How would have savita felt at that time? And this time savita was not stupid in slapping archana. She deserved it; she cant talk whatever she wants without other's sensitivity. Who is Sulo to even TALK of slaps .......she is the thappad queen She has slapped ALL except perhaps Manju in PR by now
 
Vaishali is another dumb girl. She got an opportunity to pardafash batawada's truth but she didnt. I think she will continue to take advantage of her MIL's goodness and when the truth does come out, she wont believe her. This girl is herself creating and making this problem more problematic.She has treated her nice saas so BADLY I hope she PAYS . That woman gave her utmost respect while Vaishali doesnt know the MEANING of it .U manage ur mom its not MY HEADACHE only my mom is my problem was the STUPID answer she had given Dharmesh .
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by --Hope--


 
Manav is frustrated. fine. he expressed his frustration fine.  but instead of dismissing her (as he always does) he should have held her hands tightly in his and looked her in the eye and said "Mother, I have tried in the only way I know to keep you and my wife in my life but now I am at my wits end. I do not know how to please you without breaking my marriage and that I will not do, so, you tell me how can I have you in my life and not break my marriage. and that would have showed her he was firm about his marriage, he was frustrated and he CARED."  If this is how he ended then inspite of the heated dialogue I would have been more flexible in seeing his side of things.

what disappoints me most about manav is that he has always seen quitting as the only solution.

he saw archu and was attracted to her but thought her out of his reach and quit - tarun forced him into her life

he saw archu with satish and thought it was a better match and quit on getting her back- archu forced herself back into his life

he did not know how to say no to shravani without looking dishonorable so he quit on his marriage- shravani had to release him from his word

now he does not know how to be manav deshmukh and archana's husband so he quits on being the former and only performs the role of the latter - now archu will be shown teaching him the balance.

this is what disappoints me.   he never has the solution. he always needs some third party to fix his problems.
 
Very good post Hope  especially the bolded parts ..thisis what I have been saying as well for  the past one week in this thread ..
This whole situation has snowballed into something  really really ugly now but this all started long time back , mainly due to Manav  quitting on the people he loves , so easily ...
I think if the Manav Archana love story is alive it is more due to the fight Archana put in then what Manav did ....
Manav actually believes now that his  mother doesn't really loves him enough to accept his happiness..
The method you have suggested is the best  ..Make her sit down and ask her ' what is to be  done then  
 ...Just like you said ..
Vandita  tried a bit but Savita directed the conversation else where , she didn't wish to know then ...Damodar only fights and taunts ( he is a big disappointment )  and Manav just knows how to quit rather than fight back  for his  happiness
Edited by Tanyaz - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by Tulsey


Hi Kool,
I agree with your points on Manav and Savita that he should not push her away from his life, but I also feel that Savita should forgive and forget what ever she thinks of Archana and bring them both to her house.   Why is it so hard for Savita to do this?  If she is stubborn and evil headed herself, then this MaSa saga will continue.  Savita is not all that saint....!
 
 
hi Tulsey , so nice to hear from you ..
And I agree with your views ..If savita is in a mess today she has herself to blame more than anyone else ...Then perhaps Manav ....
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by sowmya_jairam


 

Tanyaz, I agree that Savita's behaviour towards Archana is very bad. Maybe she even hates her-but is it totally unwarranted? I think she did hate Archana immediately after their second marriage, but since then I think she's mellowed down and accepted that Archana is part of Manav's life now.
 
Sowmya , what I saw was , in their last 2 meetings , Savita really really hating Archana ...She hates Archana so much that when she was told  that Sachu was safe ....she was not looking relived even for one second , immediately she was angry because it was Archana who saved the baby ........ 
I know what yo u mean about mellowing ..she did seem a lot more calm but then the minute  any crisis hits her ....every thing she can blame  is she blames on Archana ..How can any one live in a house like this yaar ..Think yourself ...So much abuse Uff ....
 I am keeping my fingers crossed that by the time Archu will move in the house Savita herself would be fed up of all this hate that is inside her and killing her family ..
 
She just wanted to know that her place, her relation with her son was still intact-when she asked Manav in a roundabout way about calling her to inaugurate his shop. Would he have lost anything if he said , just lied to her that he thought of it himself?
 
Yes , you are right .I do not dispute that ..Even though I sometimes feel very sorry for Manav ( he is hurting too you know ) I feel angry that he just cannot think sensibly and tactfully at times ...He should not have said that to Savita then ..He has played his cards wrong ....His intention was not bad ..he wants  a proper solution ( I don't know , it seems at times that he is very scared to loose Archana ever again now that he has tasted happiness )   . But he really really loves his mother too , that I do not doubt for a minute . He desperately wants to move back in with his parents but he wants his  wife to go with him and he wants  his mother to get along with Archana ..Tha tis what he keeps thinking about ...
There is also this thing about responsibility and Manav thinks of Archana not only as his love but also his responsibility .
 
 
 
And frankly, if somebody I loved brought a person "A" to me and said you HAVE to accept this person, I would hate that person immediately.
 
Sowmya , it is not just A person ..She is your bahu .
Your son had a love marriage with her , Savita knows their history , how madly  her son is in love ..She has seen everything  . ..If you don't accept her then don't be so angry if yoru son is disappointed about it ...
can't have everything in life our way  all the time ..OK ,if you hate her so much tell your son .Please live seperately ...You come  and see me at times , and the times  yo usee your bahu just try be civil for your son't sake ....
What is more important ...The love for your son or the hate for your bahu ....Sowmya I wan tSavita to be happy again and live in her home in a dignified manner with her son ...That is why I am saying all this ...
 
Even if "A" might have been the best person in the world. Savita knows that she will have to accept Archana, but cant she take some time? Cant she be a mother to Manav in the meantime? Maybe even if Damodar had supported her instead of Archana always, I dont think Savita would have hated Archana so much. But here,both her husband and her son are constantly telling her you should accept her, you should be like her, you're not good enough. Do you think it's unnatural that Savita hates Archana in this case.
 
I don't agree with her reasons for hating Archana but I am trying my best to understand her reasons for hating her ...still I think savita way over did it ....
And yes, manav and damodar to ohave played their part in putting savita down and bringing up Archana ...The y handled it badly ..Vandita  was handling it right but she is hardly there ....
 
 
It is totally natural-it is definitely misdirected, Archana is not at fault here-but she is the one who Savita is being constantly compared to.
 
I have to say it is a rather  complicated situation and very true to life ..Should be interesting to see how all this unfolds ..we here may have different point of views but are surely having  a nice time  discussing all this ....😆
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Edited by Tanyaz - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
@hope, Your argument of Manav being a quitter and taking the easy way out is so true. Each time someone has to rescue him. I guess that's okay but then let's not treat him as a lead. Let Ajit or Satish be the lead and give them equal footage so we see how different people deal with life in different ways and let the viewer appreciate and draw their own conclusions.

Thanks and take care.. Anjali

Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by Tanyaz


 
Very good post Hope  especially the bolded parts ..thisis what I have been saying as well for  the past one week in this thread ..
This whole situation has snowballed into something  really really ugly now but this all started long time back , mainly due to Manav  quitting on the people he loves , so easily ...
I think if the Manav Archana love story is alive it is more due to the fight Archana put in then what Manav did ....
Manav actually believes now that his  mother doesn't really loves him enough to accept his happiness..
The method you have suggested is the best  ..Make her sit down and ask her ' what is to be  done then  
 ...Just like you said ..
Vandita  tried a bit but Savita directed the conversation else where , she didn't wish to know then ...Damodar only fights and taunts ( he is a big disappointment )  and Manav just knows how to quit rather than fight back  for his  happiness


what I will be most disappointed with CVs is if they show Archana fix this problem

to me that is a corny situation.

manav ignored his parents when he got Archana the second time and in doign so he created this mess and I will only be satisfied as a viewer if they show him fix it.

I noticed for the last few posts that you have been saying that Archana knows Savita better than Manav and if that is the case then I have to say that I am probably more disappointed with Archana than Manav.

Savita's hatred towards Archana may be extreme. I admit that but she has always welcomed Savita's anger and hate accepting it as her form of love. If this was the case why did she not ask Manav to go to his mother before?

why wait until the lady has gone over the edge with grief?

archana need not have attended the mother son sessions - just instigated them. 

she infact used her husband to only spend time helping her solve her family's problems.

she of all people should know how heart breaking it is for a mother to be parted from her son because of his wife - Sulo was similarly affected when Vinod was taken away from her by Manju. She was shattered. But she is the type to moan while Savita is the type to yell.  it is still grief no matter how it is expressed and Archu knows this much I am sure.

she calls Savita aai aai yet she could not see the grief her mother went through in Savita?

Archu has not instigated Manav against Savita but by ignoring that aspect of his life she did not help the sitation either and I believe she should have done more knowing the D's and their relationship dynamics so well.

I know for sure that the uncreative productiion team will choose to show no other solution than the corny "Archana to the rescue" track.

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