Posted: 20 March 2011 at 5:06am | IP Logged
Hiya sweeties, how're you? I've got a few more scenes for you but not sure how good these ones are.. I've moved on to the current track but it's still a continuation as Nivi had already made her decision in my last scene.
Sorry if they're a little depressing but this is how i imagine they'll be feeling...Milee, Sakeena, Moni, Anisha, Faizuu, there's a flute scene right at the end for you guys and everyone who's missing it like me. Milee i hope it's what you wanted to read jaan. Enjoy and please let me know what u think
PS: Thank u thank u thank u SOOO much for all your wonderful comments so far!! Love youu xx
Viren was still numb with shock and felt like he'd been hit by a train. Nivi had only been gone a day but it felt to him like it was a lifetime ago that he'd watched her enter the Sharma's house from the roof. HER house, he corrected himself mentally, it was her house now because according to the papers in his hands, she was a Sharma again. His heart refused to believe it but it was right there in black and white in front of his face. He hadn't been able to stop looking at those papers since she'd handed them to him and said the words that had frozen any response he might have made in his throat. Her words had made him bow his head in shame unable to even look her in the eye. Every word she'd said was true – he had broken her trust, all the faith she'd placed in him by joining the family and leaving behind her own, he had crushed it all. He had used her innocence and hurt her to meet his own ends....he'd wanted to apologise but there were no words strong enough to express how sorry he was and nothing he could say would change what he'd done, how could it possibly? Even as his head was spinning with these thoughts, she had confirmed all his worst fears by saying everything she had done these past few weeks had been for the family's sake and not his. He'd felt his heart stop as she said that this, these divorce papers, were the truth of their marriage.
He tried to remember what he was doing, standing half in and out of his wardrobe but for the life of him he had no clue. All he could think was what was he going to do now? He wanted to see Nivi so badly, he needed to see her, even just one glimpse but how could that be possible now? He didn't even know if he'd be able to speak if he saw her...he didn't know what was wrong with him, never before had he had any problems with saying what was on his mind but now he was second guessing his every thought! He told himself that it didn't matter what he wanted, Nivi's happiness was what mattered now. He remembered her words again and thought painfully that Nivi would be probably be happier without him, after all, what had he given her except more pain? How could he have done that to such an innocent soul when he had known what she'd already had to face in her life? He hated himself and didn't think he deserved to even see her let alone speak to her! Nothing he told himself made the pain of her not being there any less. It felt as though a part of him had gone & there was just emptiness inside him.
Viren thought back to what Siddarth had told him; Nivi had done this for his happiness, because she thought it was what he wanted. He could believe that, Nivi only ever thought of others, always had done, never herself. The thought that she'd considered his feelings, the person who had given her so much pain, made him feel even worse somehow. He suddenly remembered telling her all those months ago, that if she didn't speak up for herself then who would? She finally had spoken her mind to him before she gave him these papers, it had been unbearably painful to hear but he was happy at least that she had found her voice and he would try to respect her decision and leave her in peace. He didn't know how long he would be able to manage it but he would try for her sake.
Pulling himself out of his thoughts with difficulty, he finally decided that he must have opened the wardrobe to put the papers inside but before he did, his eyes fell on his birthday present from Nivi still there in the back. The wardrobe was half empty now without Nivi's clothes and he wondered absently had it been like that before she'd come here as his wife. He couldn't actually remember a time before Nivi clearly, everything seemed fuzzy, like his life had been in black and white before her but since she'd come into his life, all his memories were filled with life and colour. He pulled out the big frame and took it over to the bed. He set it down and looked at the pictures imagining Nivi's face as she put the images together, had she smiled at the pictures or been sad? He thought she would have smiled and had tears in her eyes... had she known even then that she was going to leave? Was she happy now? He wished he could ask her these things as he sat there stroking her smiling face through the glass, feeling lost without her. He remembered the time they'd spent together and wondered how he had let it all fall apart.