Posted: 20 March 2011 at 5:17am | IP Logged
Edit: Guys, i've just realised my flute scene right at the end here is similar to Sana's on her thread Apologies Sana, i've only started reading your scene! Hope you still find mine to be a good read
Viren woke up from a restless sleep with a start and instantly knew Nivi wasn't there. The night before he'd fallen asleep after dawn and when he'd woken up his sleep deprived brain had somehow made him forget for a few sweet moments. Now he had no such joy and the loss of Nivi hit him hard again and he sat up on the sofa. He hadn't been able to face going back to the bed; in his heart Nivi was still his wife, she would always be his wife and the bed was hers. He couldn't sleep there without her and he wouldn't. Viren looked out of the open window and realised it wasn't quite dawn yet although the sky was starting to lighten. He ran his fingers through his hair and knew he couldn't go back to sleep again. His mind was once again filled with thoughts of Nivi, it seemed like his every waking thought was of her and the one thought that kept going round and round his head with everything else was 'what should i do?!' He didn't know, he knew he couldn't live without her, he needed her like he needed air, it was killing him trying to get through every single moment without her and instead of getting easier it was getting harder. He remembered thinking that he should leave her in peace and knew he wouldn't be able to do it, the pull for her was too strong. He stood up and began pacing around his room as if that would help him run away from his thoughts. He knew he couldn't carry on like this; he needed to somehow clear his mind and think calmly before he decided what to do. He went to the table and opened his flute case. He put the flute pieces together and headed out of the room, hoping with all his heart that he would know what to do after he'd played a few notes.
Nivi tossed and turned in her sleep; she was dreaming about Viren again, or was she awake she didn't know because it all seemed so real.. She was falling off the edge of a cliff...she just managed to hold on with her fingertips and suddenly Viren was helping her and she was on the bridge where she'd first met him. He looked deeply into her eyes as he held her close and she instinctively knew she could trust him...then all of a sudden it was navratri and she felt someone pull her scarf off her head. She turned to see Viren staring at her while putting her burning scarf out on the floor, a second later he was looking at her in pure disbelief and shock and something else, mirroring her feelings as they both heard each others names for the first time. Nivi rolled over in her sleep and the scene in her head changed...she was standing in the main hall of the Sood house, holding out her hand to Viren saying she didn't want to lose a good friend while he looked at her uncertainly, with innocent eyes...the image blurred again and she was standing next to him and he was telling his family that whatever happened she would remain his wife forever. It changed again and it was night, they were outside and Viren was telling her that he hated her and he had only pretended to love her...even in sleep she felt the pain his words caused and began to wake up. Before she did, she saw Viren lying in bed shivering with fever, holding on to her hand so tightly. She sat up with a start while Viren's voice still whispered 'mujhe akela mat chod na Nivedita..' in her head. She looked around and shook her head to clear it, wondering when this would stop and fearing it never would.
As Viren stepped out onto the roof, he saw that the sky was getting lighter, the sun would be fully up soon he thought as he automatically walked to the edge and looked at the Sharma house below. He'd spent a lot of his time up here in the past two days, hoping to catch a glimpse of Nivi but the only time he had seen her was when she had been going in to the house. Even now there was nothing but he hadn't been expecting there to be anything, no-one was up yet and the doors were shut. He turned away with a heavy heart and moved to the far side of the terrace where he had stood with Nivi and broke his fast. Before he could start thinking about that he put the flute to his lips quickly and closing his eyes began to play. The first few notes were piercing and frantic reflecting his state of mind but as he slowly began to relax, he weaved a sweeter melody, filled with regret and longing. For the first time in a while he felt as though he was able to express himself, even if it wasn't with words.
Nivi had given up on trying to sleep since it was almost dawn anyway, she tried to busy herself with getting things ready for breakfast unwillingly thinking that Vandana would be waking soon in the other house to get breakfast ready for everyone there. She started to wonder who took Viren his tea now and stopped herself midway, not wanting to go down that road. As she reached for the plates, she heard the sound of a flute being played and she closed her eyes thinking when was this going to stop. She shook her head but it didn't stop this time...she covered her ears for a minute but even when she took her hands away she could still hear it faintly. She wondered if this was it, she was going to have a flute playing in her head forever when she realised that the tune had changed slightly. She moved towards the front door and realised she wasn't imagining it because it was slightly louder here. Her heartbeat sped up as she realised Viren was really out there somewhere, awake before dawn, playing his flute! She forced herself to stand in one place when all she wanted to do was run out and find him. She placed a hand on the door and closed her eyes, listening to Viren and his pain. She felt her heart twist and the melody felt like it was inside her, like as if he was playing what she was feeling right now. Unable to stop herself, she slowly turned the door handle and peeked out, needing to see him but hoping he didn't see her.
He wasn't where Nivi had expected him to be, on the terrace facing her house, all she could see there in the growing light were a few sheets blilowing in the light breeze. She was confused as her eyes searched for him, opening the doors wider now that she knew he couldn't see her. After a few seconds she realised he must be on the other side of the roof which she couldn't from here. She felt a little disappointed but she could hear Viren more clearly now and she felt an invisible pull as she took a few steps outside. She had never heard Viren play like this before, with so much longing, each note moving her in a different way. She realised she was crying when he started to play a slow and painful version of the melody she always heard in her head.
Viren poured all his emotions into his music and let it sweep him away. He felt the peace he always got when he played the flute and thought of the moments he had shared with Nivi, realising that it didn't hurt so much to think of her while he was playing. Thinking about Nivi, he unconsciously began to play out their melody but it wasn't the same hopeful tune as it once was, it was much slower and filled with the loss he felt each time he took a breath without her...
As he brought the song to a close, he opened his eyes and breathed deeply, looking out at the blue sky and the sun which had come up while he had been playing. He felt calmer than he ever been since Nivi had left and he turned towards the Sharma house thinking that he needed to make a decision on what he was going to do; he couldn't carry on like this, in a constant state of confusion and self doubt. In his calmer state, he realised he had two options: he could simply leave Nivi alone to find her own happiness and make a new life, staying out of her way and not causing her any more problems or he could follow her and show her that he was worth loving and that he could be her happiness if she gave him a chance to make up for his wrongs. He was thinking these options through as he took a step forward when he realised in shock that the doors to the Sharma house were open!
Viren took another small step and hid behind a sheet that had been hung up for drying, peeking out to see if he could see anyone. With growing amazement, he saw Nivi was standing there in a pale pink saree with her eyes closed; she looked like something he might have dreamt up but when she wiped away tears he knew she was real. She had a plaster on her thumb the same as he had and he felt a little twist in his heart thinking about how he used to be the one to help her when she hurt herself...who would do that now?
He watched and his heart skipped a beat as Nivi looked around quickly, as if she didn't know what she was doing there and then looked towards where he was hidden for a long moment. He thought she looked a bit guilty but he was too far from her to be sure and as she turned and went inside he realised he had a big smile on his face; she had heard him and had come to listen! He felt his heart grow lighter and the hopelessness he had been feeling lifted slightly. He took one last look at where Nivi had disappeared to and then went inside thinking again about his options... but really there was only ever one for him, he thought still smiling and remembering Nivi's face as he went to put away his flute. He took out a clean top and jeans to wear after his shower and his eyes fell on the collage still propped up against the wall. He realised it didn't hurt so much to look at her face now that he'd reached his decision and he took a few steps forward and touched her smiling face through the glass before leaving the room, his head buzzing with ideas and feeling a little more like his old self again.
Edited by anjaani07 - 20 March 2011 at 12:37pm