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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

-SS- Tum Pukar Lo Updated Epi Pg 26 (Page 4)

AzaraA Senior Member
AzaraA
AzaraA

Joined: 14 September 2010
Posts: 743

Posted: 27 February 2011 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
saaz dear u r a gr8 writer i had read ur both ss "banwara maan "and this one both r awesome really gud job keep it up dear please continue soon ........



luv zara

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saaaz

sampar Senior Member
sampar
sampar

Joined: 04 August 2005
Posts: 426

Posted: 27 February 2011 at 6:46pm | IP Logged
beautifully written dear..........it was really goood.....loved the ruler part......eagerly waiting for next part

continue soon

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saaaz

purvi08 IF-Rockerz
purvi08
purvi08

Joined: 26 December 2010
Posts: 5296

Posted: 27 February 2011 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
beautiful one saaz .waiting for the next part

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saaaz

Yasharanrocks IF-Rockerz
Yasharanrocks
Yasharanrocks

Joined: 01 September 2010
Posts: 5016

Posted: 28 February 2011 at 6:42am | IP Logged
awsme saaaz update soon..........

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saaaz

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 February 2011 at 7:04am | IP Logged
Hug

Thanks guys... 

Vandooo....meri bandhooo...I am super touched re...super touched....

shall be back with detailed thanks soon...and the next part too...

thanks again.
saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 February 2011 at 8:04am | IP Logged

Thanks to all of you especially:

@cutipie: thanks so much

@priyacool: oh cool one, hmmm…how did Shaan send it?Wink

@Simi: thank you jee. Me love the song too

@Vandoo: your lines were extremely touchingClap,, I am so happy it inspired youHug

@May: thanks – I am trying a different tact here..hoping to give drama with nokh jhok don't know how far I will get

@Vat: tera comment ne mera wohi haal kiya re…Big smile

@DocD: Tu aalis aani majhya moner khoob aunondo…

@Mani: Thanks re. Yes, for me I shall always look for that inanimate object as a driver of my story…it is something I cherish about Golden RBO

@Shal: Kya re, aise channe ke jhadd pe mat bitha,,jab giroongee tho bahut lagega

@SYS; here I am my dear and thanks

@Deepali: thank you re

@Ammu: until the CVs make your hopes come true, mera SS padh..thanks so much

@Deepa: yes, my dear..I cannot get rid of my goldyness no matter how much I try…sad but true

@AG: thanks re and anytime

@Krazee: glad you liked it

@Angel: thanks for your comments

@Shriya: thanks re…hope you feel the same about this one too

@Naveen: A big hug to you re…bahut din hogaye

@Vaishu: thanks re, next part right up

@Jess: Thanks re. hope the next part makes yu feel the same way.

@Rooj: Thank you jee…

@Zara: thank you so much for your comments, please continue to do so

@Shai: FF jahapannah…aap aaye, bahar aayee

@Sayni: thanks so much

@Yasharanrocks: THANKS re…


And for all those who pressed like....ME LIKEBig smile

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saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 28 February 2011 at 8:07am | IP Logged

Part II

 

Khanak has been in Dhulwaadi for over a week and a half now, when she arrived, her parents were off to theerath, and were so happy to see her that they almost cancelled their going,., however Khanak forced them to, knowing fully well she could do with some time alone and without her parents constant questioning, how long could she go on with "Shantanu aayenge, abhi apne kaam mein vyasth hai". She was having a tough time keeping up the charade with Gopi itself, in the market, buying vegetables alongwith her..

 

Gopi: Matlab, main samjhi nahin. Shantanu bha apni sangeet ke wajah se jyaada Mumbai mei rehte nahin, tho tu yahaan aa gayee, lekin wahan ghar pe tho itne log hain, abhi bhi kisike saath pat thi nahin kya?

Khanak: (picking up the bhindi): Bha, bhindi saaru nathi,, kitne ki di?

Gopi: Maine kya poocha Khanak?

Khanak: Tu kya sunna chahtee hai? Tu mujhe bol de, main tumse wohi shabd vapass bol dungee..theek hai?!

Khanak turns and starts bargaining with the vendor. Gopi is taken aback; Khanak's tight expressions while she voiced her irritation said it all. Something has happened and a fear grips her, she knows Khanak's wrath, no one can escape it. Gopi decides to call Bombay before it is too late. She watches Khanak's face while she talks with the vendor, a face that has lost its softness, is straight, stern and almost cold.

 

Khanak returns home, keeps the vegetables near the chulha, wipes her face with the edge of her saree and wonders,, will she ever be able to live again. She is surviving fine enough. She opens her petti and just as she has done for over a week now..looks at Shanatanu's photo…

 

"Mere pyaar pe sirf aapka hakk hai, lekin maafi pe nahin. Aap jab aayenge tho main yahee kahoongee aapse. Main aapke bina zinda hoon, kabhi socha nahin aur shayad chaha bhi nahin,,aur aapke bina jee bhi loongee,,, yakeen nahi aata? Aake dekh leejiye.."

 

The ringing of his phone wakes Shaan up, its past noon, he picks it up and mutters,,

Shaan: Hello

Voice: Hello, is that Mr. Shantanu Khandelwal?

Shaan: Yes

Voice: This is Shweta, music marketing manager from RK studios, am calling to inform you that Mr. RK has requested your presence at the studio today, aap yahan aake do hafte ho rahe hai aur aapki contract ke mootabik

Shaan: Ms. Shweta, aap mere liye ek message de sakte hai aapke RK ko

Voice: sure, Sir

Shaan: Tell him to take the contract and shove it…

Shaan hangs up and throws his phone aside. Steps into the bathroom to wash his face and while he wipes his face, he hears Khanak's voice from outside in the bedroom..

 

Khanak: Tho Mr. Shantanu Khandelwal, aap ab sangeet bhi chod denge..

Shaan (from inside the bathroom, staring into the mirror): Please yaar Khanak don't tell me, ki tum chahtee ho ki main us Rahul ke saath kaam karoon..

Khanak: Nahin, maine aisa tho nahin kaha..lekin phir.. aap karenge kya?

Shaan: Pata nahin Khanak, lekin tum phikar mat karo, okay,, main tumhe disappoint nahin karoonga

Khanak: Woh tho aap kar chuke hain Shaantanu..

Shaan (suddenly turns and opens the bathroom door): Khanak please aisa mat kaho..

 

Shaan removes the towel from around his neck realizing he is talking to his wife who has left their room, their home, their life..he sits heavily on the bed and looks at his feet, how did he land here,,he thinks,,no he cannot survive without her, life shall never be the same again and that's the long and short of it. He gets up suddenly, changes, picks up his keys and leaves the room, walks out of the house and drives to the most unlikely place ever.

 

Mukhtasar si baat hai,

Tumse pyaar hai

Tumharaa intezaar hai

 

Review Mandatory

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priya_cool_123 IF-Rockerz
priya_cool_123
priya_cool_123

Joined: 01 October 2010
Posts: 7621

Posted: 28 February 2011 at 8:15am | IP Logged
saazy... kya re.. it was so short....
 
but still loved it... esp shaan imagining khanak...
 
next part jaldi update karo....

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saaaz

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