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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

-SS- Tum Pukar Lo Updated Epi Pg 26 (Page 11)

The_May_Rose IF-Sizzlerz
The_May_Rose
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Posted: 01 March 2011 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
Just read part two and three Saaz....Love how you have progressed the story and included all the charactersThumbs Up.....Excellent writingClap.....Simply love Shaan as the lovestrck burthal, unintentually stepping back to working, as a business man again....Love the fact that Khanak is using her time constructively to teach, yet still has some faith in Shaan,coming for her Approve....Can't wait to read more.....

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ktymfan

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Posted: 01 March 2011 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
Beautiful once again Saaz.You are portraying the emotions so well.Poor Shan with the ruler!Superbly written.Loved it!
AzaraA Senior Member
AzaraA
AzaraA

Joined: 14 September 2010
Posts: 743

Posted: 01 March 2011 at 11:39pm | IP Logged
wow dear so gud jani very well written ........please update soon i had read part 2 also and that was also gud actually i was bus since 2 days ago i m back now so i m reading all the ff and ss and every update which i had missed .................so gud going dear keep up the gud work ........



luv zara

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adventure_gurl

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Posted: 02 March 2011 at 2:39am | IP Logged
wow..saaz..first of all a great hug for counter sue of rahulHug cvs ne to nahi karaya per tere se hame ummed hai lol !!!!Thumbs Up
just read last 2 update and its realy very nice and beautiful..i loved shaan emegination of khanak,
i loved whole mithi kumar conv. between shanak very cute
i loved akshya  madz conv..very nice
hahah..shaan ko dhulwadi ka LIFAFA dekhkar bhook khatam ho gayi ye to hona he tha..burdhal shaan !!!!
pl update next part soon..i am waitingLOL
I liked your khamoshi songs too very nice ..gulzar lyrics and hement kumar voice was awesome


Edited by Deepali88 - 02 March 2011 at 4:56am
aditee IF-Rockerz
aditee
aditee

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Posted: 02 March 2011 at 7:06am | IP Logged
Lovely Saaz
 
Nicely woven with actual anecdotes from the show's past
Maza aa gaya
 
Jaldi likho agla part
saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 02 March 2011 at 9:11am | IP Logged

 

Thanks to everyone especially:

 

@priyacool: Yes, I am dear pouring my heart that is, decided that this shall be one of the ways to get over my golden RBO obsession.

@Shal: thanks re, anni madam understand kay, me Bombay chi porgee aahe…kalla na???

@Mani: thanks for your comments re, love to read them. Next part coming soon.

@SYS: that was exactly the intention…virtual hug ke liya hum hamesha tayaar

@Shriya: I have given up on CVs re, but must admire your positivity, for me I have decided this is the way I shall remove my bhadaas

@Vaishu: thank you madam..

@Sneha: YOU CAME….missing you re…thanks for your comments, loved them

@Rooj and @Vat: sambhalo apne aap ko,, I have half a mind to release you from my torment, but life itni asaan nahi bidooo

@AG: you got the symbolisim, I loved that

@Vandoo: Knew you would love the broken ruler….

@Krithika: Thanks so much

@Angel: I loved reading your comments, how you caught the main aspects of the story

@Jess: Can I just say HUGS for your comments..

@Krazeee: Tu aayeee…thanks so much

@Naveen: tujhe PM kaise nahi kartee?

@Deepa: Belated wishes dear…

@RB: Thank you

@Adeela: Thanks jee

@Simi: Yep, that was the only way to get rid of my frustration

@Nisha: der aaye, durust….thanks so much for your comments, I appreciate them truly

@Shai: thanks re

@May: Loved your observations, especially the one where shaan has unintentionally got back to work

@Smitha: thanks so much, hope you like the next update too

@Zaara: Update coming up, thank you

@Deepali: Thanks so much re, you always leave such interesting comments, makes me damn khush

@Aditee: sweetie…thanks re


@everyone who pressed LIKE: ab aagey kya kahey..bas aglee bar bhi plij!!

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saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 02 March 2011 at 9:21am | IP Logged

Part IV

 

It has been a little over a month now, but Khanak has had little time to think of Shaan, she volunteered to help in every conceivable event and arrangement of Gopi's friend's wedding. In the back of her mind, she realizes that the ruler in its new form would have reached him some time ago, and that very spot of her mind wonders what is taking him this long to come.

 

The wedding was in a neighbouring town, bigger than Dhulwaadi, the whole wedding party is travelling back together in a huge bus, air-conditioned nonetheless. The bus makes a stop at one main junction. People get off to relieve themselves, catch a quick snack etc. Bhaijee comes running into the bus, he has grown so tall, Khanak thinks, he waves a newspaper and says,

 

Bhanje: Khanak behen, dekh akhbaar mei Shantanu bha ki tasveer chappi hai

Khanak: Kya? (but before she can say anything, Gopi who is seated next to her, yells)

Gopi: Dikha! (grabs the newspaper and looks at it): Baap re! Shantanu bha aur Akshay Bha bhi hai.

Khanak: Likha kya hai? Sab theek tho hai?

Gopi: (hits her head): Arrey theek kyun nahin hoga, dono bhai ki itni haste hui tasveer hai. Kissi RK ke baare mein hain.

Khanak: Ya tho mujhe de, ya theek se padh!

Gopi: Acha baba ruk. Likha hai, ki Rahul Khanna ko, ek bahut bade ghotale ke case ke silsile mein jail hogayee hai aur usse adaalat mein lane ka shrey Shantanu Khandelwal ko jaata hai.  Is case ke tehkikaat mein yeh bhi pata chala hai ke Rahul Khanna ke jitney bhi companies the, woh bhrastachaar aur avaidh karobaar mein shaamil the. In sab ke wajah se RK company pe taala padhne wala hai, lekin RK sangeet company ko Khandelwal company ne khareed liya hai. Baap re! Itna sab kuch ho gaya, isiliye tu yahan chali aayi kya?

Khanak: (looks around, realizes everyone is watching, hints at Gopi): Aage kya likha hai?

Gopi: (sheepishly continues): Arrey, Dhulwaadi ke baare mein hain. Khandelwal company apni kapde ki factory Dhulwaadi mein phir se shuru karne waale hai. Kapde ka karobar Akshay Khandelwal sambhal lenge aur Sangeet ka company Shantanu Khandelwal. Acha, isiliye dono bhaiyon ki itni achi phato chappi hai.

Bhanje: Haan wohi tho, isiliye, akhbarwaala mujhse yehi keh raha tha, ki dhulwaadi mein ab diwali hone waali hai..(snatches the paper from Gopi and starts to read it aloud to people in back of the bus)

 

Gopi turns to see Khanak looking out of the window smiling and wiping her tears. She holds Khanak's hand and says;

 

Gopi: Kya abibhi tum apne is saheli ko kuch nahi batayegee?

Khanak: Kya bataoo?

Gopi: Sab kuch, pehle yeh bol, yeh Rahul Khanna kaun hai? Lagta tho bilkul sadela ganna hai…

Khanak with a smile relates the story.

 

Late into the evening, the bus makes its way into Dhulwaadi just as the newspaper makes it way back into Khanak's hands. She stares at his picture, she feels his nose with the skin on the tip of her little finger, the same nose that always touches her forehead before his lips do. "N for nose", she smiles, then suddenly, "N for NO", she remembers. Folds the newspaper and keeps it in the cloth bag near Gopi's feet. They get off the bus together, Gopi is sleeping over tonight with Khanak. Her mother and Khanak's parents shall be returning three days later. Until then, Gopi is staying with Khanak.

 

Khanak follows Gopi into the front area of the house, and is startled to hear Gopi yell;

Gopi: Shantanu Bha!!!! (runs towards him)

Shaan: (turns): Hi Gopi!

Gopi: Aap Kab aaye?

Shaan: (holds her close, but looks at Khanak): Kaisi ho tum?

 

He seems to have made himself quite comfortable, she thinks while unpacking and putting away. He is sitting on the charpoi, drinking water from his plastic bottle, while Gopi chatters away, of course all the time glancing at her, what does he think, she can't see him do it. How can he be so nonchalant, after having spent those restless nights without him, and having created such a turmoil in her heart, he came though, she waited and he has come. He has, yes, he has. Tonight, she shall sleep with hope in her heart and dreams in her eyes, won't she? Can she dare to?

 

Shaan: (winking at Gopi) Tho yahaan sab kuch theek thaak hai, right? I mean hamein khabhar kahan milti hai?

Gopi: (making big eyes): Shaadi ke kaamon se fursat kahan? Aur aapko pata nahin, Shanatanu Bha, Dhanna kaka ka koyi aadmi hamari tho madat hi nahin kar raha tha, sabhi kaam humko hi karne padde.

Shaan: (with a small smile glancing at Khanak): Haan, pata nahin, Dhanna Kaka kaise logon ko naukri pe rakhte hain, hai na? (coughing for emphasis)

Gopi: (looking at Khanak, a bit confused): Huh? Haan haan,, wohi tho! Aur bechari Khanak nehi sab kuch kiya, shaadi ke sabhi tayaari,yahan tak ki

Shaan: (with a wide smile staring at Khanak): Suhaag raat ke set bhi sajaaye..

Gopi: (now completely confused): Huh???

Khanak:  (suddenly walks towards them making Shaan get up and stand too): Gopi, zara jaake tho dekh, Kumud chachee ke yahaan dhoodh milega kya, ghar pe kal subah ke liye dhoodh nahin hai.

Gopi: Haan, main abhi jaati hoon, mujhe chachee ko kuch dena bhi hai, maa ne bheja tha,,

(fetches a small box from her cloth bag and finds the newspaper): Arrey Shanatanu bha, iske baare mein tho poochna bhool hi gayee, koyi baat nahin, kal subah (hands him the newspaper)

 

Shantanu is holding the newspaper and smiles with hope, realizes she has known all the while, for some reason that makes him happy and sad at the same time. He walks towards her, her back is facing him. He holds the end of her pallu, something he has been yearning to do since the time she entered the courtyard of her parents' house and in a voice as soft as the saree that wraps her..

 

Shaan: Khanak, tumhe pata tha, in sab ke baare mein, tum jaanti thi,,

Khanak: (suddenly turns around and blisters): Aap kya sochte hain, yeh Rahul ko sazaa dilwana, yahan factory ka aayojan karna, yeh sab karke, main pighal jaaoingee aur aapko maaf kar doongee..

Shaan: Nahin

Khanak: Nahin?!... ka kya matlab? Tho yeh sab kya hai?

Shaan: Rahul ko sazaa dilwana tumhare liye nahin, hum sab ke liye tha, kyunkee who ek ghatiya insaan hai aur uski jagah hamare beech nahin, jail mein honi chahiye. Yeh factory tumhare liye nahin, gaanv walo ke liye hai. (with a softer voice, walking towards her); Tumhare liye tho main aaya hoon, tumhare saamne, tumhara gunehgaar, tumhara shaantanu, sirf tumhaare liye.

Khanak: (refusing to melt): Agar yeh baat hai, tho aap ne bahut der kardi aane mein, mujhe aapke bina rehne ki aadat ho gayee hai, mujhe aapki zaroorat nahin hai.

Shaan: (with hurt in his eyes and very softly): Lekin mujhe hain Khanak, aur Khanak, tumharee adaat main bina badle yahaan se nahin jaaongaa..

Not wanting him to have the last word nor the silence between them to win..she turns away and with a stern voice;

Khanak: Agar aapne yahan rehne ki thaan hi lee hai, tho kripa karke yeh charpoi bahar lagaa dijiye

Shaan: (confused): Kyun Khanak, bahar kyun?

Khanak: Aapke sone ka prabandh jo karna hai.

Shaan: KYA? Main bahar kyun sounga?

Khanak: Dhulwaadi mein yahi pratha hai, ghar ke aadmi bahar sote hain

Shaan: Aur Admiyon ki biwiyaan kahan sotee hai?

Khanak: Andar rasoi ghar mein, zameen pe

Shaan: (waving his hands): Wah! Kya Pratha hai?

Khanak:(about to the raise her finger): Dekhiye, Aap…

Shaan: (pleadingly) : Come on yaar, Khanak, bahar machar honge

Khanak: (hands him a blanket): Aap chaddar leleejiyee..

Shaan: (rolls the blanket around his hands, comes closer to her and speaks into her neck):  Theek hai, Khanak, main bahar so loonga, lekin main tumhe bata doon, ki yeh pratha sirf tab tak jaari rahegee jab tak main tumhaari aadat badal na doon.

 

Tries to lift the charpoi with one hand, realizes he cannot, she comes forward to help him, he raises his palm to stop her from doing so, lifts with both hands, stumbles over the small step at the entrance, finally places it under the window outside the house and peeps through the window only to see Khanak leaning on the kitchen pillar, with a small smile wiping her tears and he hugs his blanket, sighs and falls on to the charpoi and into those dreams filled with his wife.

 

Raat ye karaar ki

Bekaraar hai,

Tumhara Intezaar hai

----

Next Part is the concluding part.

Review Mandatory

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Posted: 02 March 2011 at 9:25am | IP Logged
You really need to be on the RBO Team Gurl !!!!!!

Loved it ... Brillliant !!!!!! 
Shantanu referring to Mithai Kumar, Suhagraaat Sajawat .... Superb Superb !!!!!!

Brought Back all the Memories once again !!!!!

CVs - Read this SS .... Dekho Samjho and Apne Dimaaaag main Kuch Daaaalo !!!!!!


Edited by rbo_d_best - 02 March 2011 at 10:18am

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saaaz

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