Hey PJ's
This is my first attempt at any sort of writing so Im warning you all from the start that its not that great. And compared to all the wonderful writers we have like Arps, Poco,sidra, DJ, nikki ,Isha, Kaheela, Nish, neets, Bani, Pragzie, Zohal, and all the other brilliant FF writers this is probably pathetic. But I just had some ideas floating around in my head so I thought I would give it a shot. Oh and by the way Ive just realized how difficult it is to write so Im going to be appreciating all the FF's that much more from now on.
So please do give me your feedback whatever it is good or bad, gaalis ,chappals, whatever.They will all be welcomed.
And finally I dedicate this OS to all the wonderful PJ's of the SR AT who always bring a smile to my face and I must make a special mention to my soul sis Kritz who despite the fact that she hates Ridhimma with a passion will read this just cos I have written it.
Oh and by the way this is more like a OS which will be in either 2 or 3 parts.
So here goes''..
Realization.
"Armaan!"Sid closed his eyes tightly, squeezing out the remaining tears from his tired eyes. He slowly leaned back against his chair, rubbing his forehead, trying to erase that name from his mind. But no matter how much he tried, it kept whirling through the deep recesses of his thoughts refusing to go away!
Pushing his chair back abruptly with his feet, an exhausted Sid got up from behind his workdesk and walked slowly to the window. His mind was full of confusion and he wanted to clear his head. He felt drained. He opened the window of his office and looked out at the serene scene before him. It was a quiet afternoon with only a few cars rumbling on the road and a handful of people strolling aimlessly on the streets.The sun felt warm on his skin and there was a slight breeze which swept through his hair. Sid inhaled the fresh air deeply and smiled as he saw a small child chattering nonsensically to his mother while she happily cuddled him in her arms. For a while he felt at peace and forgot all about the harsh realities of his life.
"Ridhimma will make a great mum, ' he smiled and suddenly stopped. A cold feeling enveloped his heart as all the disturbing thoughts came flooding back!
"Ridhimma still loves Armaan!"
Sid closed the window with a bang as he felt the anger and hurt swell up in his heart.
'When will this end?' he thought sharply, 'Why does it hurt so much?'
He didn't think he could take much more!
Leaning back against the cold wall, he thought back to all that had happened since Armaan had come back into their lives so abruptly straight after their wedding several months ago. Initially Sid had tried to get Armaan and Ridhimma back together because that's where he thought Ridhimmas happiness lay . His mistake of sending the divorce papers to her and the resentment and frustration that followed between himself and Ridhimma was still fresh in his mind.
And then'' Lonavla!
Sid clenched his fists and frowned when he remembered the moment he had seen Ridhimma in Armaans arms! He had thought his whole world was about to collapse. The fury and disgust he had felt was something he never wanted to relive. Yet he had forgiven Ridhimma, because she had convinced Sid that it was him, that she wanted to spend her life with. He had brought Ridhimma back to the penthouse and although initially things were tense and uncomfortable, gradually things began to smooth themselves out. They had both given everything they had to try and get their relationship to work and they both seemed reluctant to give up on their marriage. Eventually over time, they had settled into a comfortable routine with each other as friends.
And Armaan.........Armaan had left Sanjeevani. Sid remembered the evening clearly, a few months ago, when he had finished a late shift and had bumped into Armaan who was clearing out his locker. They had never been completely at ease with each ever since the Lonavla incident and there was always an awkwardness between them whenever they met.
"Sid, Im glad you're here. I just wanted to say goodbye,' said Armaan while stuffing his belongings into a bag.. 'Im going back to Panchgani.'
Sid stood silently staring at Armaan not knowing what to say.
'I think its best this way. I don't think I can stay seeing Ridhimma with another man''' Armaans voice trailed off as he stared at a picture of Ridhimma in his hands.
'Im her husband!' thought Sid with a slight twinge of annoyance but remained quiet. Armaan zipped up his duffel bag and looked at him without any emotion.
'Bye Sid.'
And with that he was gone. If Sid was honest with himself he was relieved that Armaan was no longer there between him and Ridhimma as a constant reminder of the hurt he had caused. It made it easier for him and Ridhimma to move on with their lives and work on their relationship.
And slowly Sid had begun to fall deeper and deeper in love with Ridhimma. And although she had never told him, he was sure she loved him too. All the little gestures made him think so. The way she worried about him and looked after him at home and at work. Sometimes he caught her staring at him when she thought he wasn't looking and then she would get embarrased and hurry away. Sid smiled at the memory.They hadn't yet taken their relationship to a physical level but he had left that upto Ridhimma to decide when she was ready. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable in anyway. He thought they were happy and content with each other and their life.
"How could I be so wrong!' he thought to himself dejectedly.
Sid went and sat back at his desk, restlessly looking at the pile of medical files in front of him that needed his attention. He had to concentrate on work.
"Focus Sid , focus!' He said determinedly to himself.
He would deal with all this confusion later. Work came first. But as he reached out his arm to pick up the first file, his thoughts flew back to what had happened this morning.
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Sid had just stepped out of the hot shower and had put on his blue, denim jeans on when he realized the white shirt he wanted to wear was in his old room where Ridhimma now slept. He glanced at his watch which showed it was 8 o clock. He knew Ridhimma was an early riser so thought she must be either in the kitchen or in the lounge reading the daily newspaper. He ambled towards his room and knocked softly on the door. He waited for a few seconds and as he got no answer , he walked straight in.
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Ridhimma was in the kitchen, still in her pink pyjamas, preparing breakfast. She had a gentle smile on her face while she hummed softly to a romantic song on the radio. She felt so blessed and content and her face radiated happiness. She quickly finished setting the table and glanced at the clock.
'Oh its 8 o clock already. Sid will be down any moment for breakfast. Let me quickly go and get changed so we can eat together' she thought to herself.
With a light step and still humming gently, Ridhimma went towards her bedroom and almost skipped in. She stopped and gave a sudden 'Oh' and held her breath.
There was Sid, dressed only in his jeans, his hair still glistening with waterdrops, standing with his muscular and toned back towards her, rummaging through his cupboard. Sid heard the gasp and turned round. Ridhimma suddenly felt weak in the knees.
They both stared at each other for a moment, not moving ,when suddenly Sid felt an invisible, inexplainable pull drawing him like a magnet towards Ridhimma. Slowly he began to walk towards her and with each step he took he seemed to lock Ridhimmas eyes tighter with his own. Ridhimma felt as if she was rooted to the ground. She couldnt move. As Sid reached Ridhimma, his arm automatically wound slowly around her small waist and he pulled her towards him. Ridhimma felt as if she couldn't breathe and she found herself falling deeper and deeper into his soft, brown eyes full of passion and love. Without thinking she wound her arms around his smooth, bare back. Her heart was beating so hard she thought it would burst.
Sid raised both his hands and gently cupped Ridhimmas face . He could hear Ridhimmas heart beating as fast as his own. He stared deeply into her eyes looking for assurance and when he found what he was looking for, slowly bent his face towards Ridhimma .They both closed their eyes expectantly, feeling each others warm breaths on their lips. As their lips got closer their hearts started to beat as one.
Part 2- pg 8
Part 3- pg 15
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