Joined: 23 December 2009
Radhika's eyes widened seeing the posture of Dev, his agony, his helplessness, and an unknown expression of his failure, everything was written clearly on his wet face, with that trailing of rain drops. Dev was unable to take another step to the front. Radhika held that open flap of the door for support. Time froze for them.
Radhika stood like a statue listening to him, and she took few more steps towards him. The backpack fell onto that wet ground and his arms went wide to both sides and his wide shoulder spread around as he extended hs arms out, and he wrapped it around her , bringing her closer. Radhika stood there in his embrace, trying to believe that moment, which is happening unexpectedly. She rested her hands on his chest, giving it a space for itself, trying to feel the moment is true. The light weight rain drops just fell smoothly, soothing their heart. His arms and hand went on tightening around her, nothing else was going on his mind, he also wanted to believe that this moment is true that his Radhika is in his arms. Slowly moving his lips near to her wet neck space, towards her ears , he mumbled softly "why did you run away from me like that, without giving me a chance to realize it? Please don't do it like that, because without you I am incomplete, please don't run away from me like that?" his broken words trailed off.....
Coming near, the flash light spotted on Dev's face and the shopkeeper recognized him easily: you here!
Shopkeeper with a smile: why you didn't tell me that you came for Radhika betiya.
Sulochana: what you are doing outside, come in. It is still raining out. Come..
all of a sudden he realized he is standing on an odd place, which is unknown to him. Dev looked at Radhika and her eyes conveyed same, he followed her picking the bag from the ground.
Dev looked at her in question.
Radhika looked at Dev with a hope and he understood, he just agreed, as he also felt so tired with this hectic journey of mixed feelings and thoughts...
Shopkeeper: do you have any dry cloth to wear, or?
Dev looked at his wet bag and opened it and managed to found one.
Sulochana: we don't have much facility here, so, I don't know, or you may need to go nearby town , or Asram people may recognize you and they can accomodate you'
Shopkeeper: Ok then, come with me, will show you the place to change.
Dev heard Sulochana's small concerns and her warning tone while following the shopkeeper.
As he came back, he saw Radhika and Sulochana keeping the plates for dinner, on the floor.
Dev with a smile , stroking back his wet dry hair: no Kaka, I am fine, I am fine.
Shopkeeper with a smile: I know, you will also be same like Radhika betiya. We were thinking of adding another room to this small house and all, anyway now we don't need to think that further.
Sulochana: come , food is ready.
Dev came and sat on the floor, Radhika was coming out from kitchen with a curry pot in her hand, Dev just glanced at her , he surprised to see her wearing light blue colored , full length, printed cotton loose nighty (house coat).
Sulochana served food in their plate, and said: Radhika betiya you also sit
Radhika: let them finish, we two will sit together
Sulochana: I don't want you to starve
Shopkeeper: then you two also join us
Radhika: no kaka, I am fine, you finish, I am fine.
She served curry in his plate. There was not much to chose or anything.
Kaka: so what time you are planning to leave tomorrow
Dev: 8.30 they will open the gate ,right?
Sulochana: ha, but then looking at Radhika: beta, you go early by school gate, mathaji won't say anything.
They had dinner. Kaka went out with a beedi in his hand , burning the end of it he said : looks like the rain stopped. I am glad.
Kaka: After Radhika beti joined us, I used to sleep outside in that small cot.
Dev looked at the small cot on the side,
Shopkeeper: looks like that got wet too.
He just nodded his head agreeing , he looked at Radhika, who was braiding her hair tightly looking at a small mirror hanged on that wall.
She jerked seeing his sudden action and looked outside at the door.
Sulochana was coming back in and saw him holding onto Radhika, she felt shy and stepped back to the wet ground without making any noise....
He felt his mouth drying up, and with much difficulty he called out softly: Radhikaaa
Then he forced on her shoulder and turning her he touched her chin and lifting it up he said in broken words..in an unbelievable tone, reading her eyes, : you, ..you.... you never told me. He felt hurt somewhere inside. Sudden gush of unwanted questions and resoning came out from his mind, and spill out through his tongue.Maybe it was hiiden inside, but it came to conscious with this shock moment. Did I become that stranger to you Radhika! Kab se? its our baby and you didn't feel like calling me once and telling me. Then releasing his hand he turned and said: how can you ,right? you actually walked away from me , na. It is me who didn't understand you and who never tried to realize that you needed some freedome from me, you want to be out from my world na. Do you really want to come with me , back to Delhi? Back to chandenpur? His eyes started filling up, his words started feeling broken and wet, but he asked one more question : do you want to come back with me? do you still love me Radhika?
But then they heard the loud voice from outside and Dev moved away to his bed side and Sulochana came in. Dev settled under that sheet and covered his face, to hide himself from showing outside. He never thought of it that way; she walked away from everyone, no , not from everyone, she kept her contact with everyone else, except him. So am I the cause of her hiding now. His thoughts were hitting hard on him. For a moment , he moved that sheet down and looked and found Radhika sitting with reading something, near a lighted lamp. Sulochana also was sitting next to her. He wished for the morning to come quick. At any cost, Radhika you need to come with me, and now, its our baby, I want to hold you close to my heart, but but. He closed his eyes tight,covering his face under that sheet... to bring the darkness, so that he can escape from those painful thoughts.
The passing time brought more darkness to the outside and the wetness still kept few of the nocturnal frogs and crickets to sound at its maximum possible voice. He waited for the morning, with closing his eyes shut.
The sound of walking feet from nearby ear, woke him up and he startled first and then moved his cover down to his neck. Slowly opening his sleepy eyes he saw kaki walking out form the house.
"is it morning already?' he questioned to self.
"aap uthgaye" he turned and found Radhika coming near to him.
"go fresh , up and I will get the tea." Saying that she tried to grab on that sheet, suddenly he held her hand, with a smile, and looked at her face. She already had her bath, and her wet hair has been nicely tied to the back, she was wearing a small sindoor line on her forehead. That itself gave him the answer for his last question to her. He smiled from within and just wanted to held her closer, but then he heard the backdoor opening, he suddenly released her hand and getting up on his feet he said: ha, I will be right back.
Time passed by
Sulochana: so, after seeing mathaji, you are leaving directly from there , right?
Dev heard that, he felt happy. He combed his hair back well.
Dev; its ok kaka
Kaka with a smile: don't worry, I know few of them, so will find one easily for you
Kaka: no, you go with Radhika betiya and meet Mathaji, I will get all these ready
Sulochana: then come, let's go together, I need to be there too early, actually I am late already, they might be knowing the reason.
Dev walked along with Radhika and Sulochana. They went through the school gate. As they reched inside the Asram premise, Sulochana gave a hug to Radhika and then giving a smile to Dev she went to the kitchen area.
Malathi came out with a smile, and then looking at dev: so, finally you found your Radhika
Malathi: Radhika, Matha ji is expecting you, she is waiting in the prayer hall. Dev you also go with Radhika , and take the blessings , ok.
They both entered that big empty hall. Dev found it similar to the boys asram one. The silence and the vacuum inside gave a different experience into this mind. He saw the Mathaji , very tall, wearing a orange color saree, and with shaved head. Radhika went with folded hands near to her and so did Dev.
Matha ji : Radhika, you asked me for the deeksha for long, but I denied to give you. But now I think I can give that to you, as your husband is standing next to you. I was waiting for this moment. Then looking at Dev: Don't worry about hearing this Deeksha word. This helps for strengthening your mind, and a good meditation. So if you can wait outside for few minutes, Dev smiled and then bowing his head he walked out.
Mathaji then looking at Radhika: Radhika, I don't know whether this environment brought any change or satisfaction, but your destiny is tied to this sindoor, so do your karma, not for the sake of the karma , but from within your heart; your action should not be just for the sake of duty, but for your own mental satisfaction. You need to enjoy the colors of life, because you bound to this red color. My blessings are always with you.
Radhika stood there with her folded hands together.
Radhika took it form Mathaji, she felt the happiest, she kneeled down on the floor,and then her bowing head touched those punya athma's feet.
Mathaji giving ashirwad said: May God bless you .
Dev: we will come back one day.
Radhika came out form the prayer hall and joined Dev.
Radhika: I don't know
Dev: ask somebody na, also what about Kaka?
Radhika: let me ask malathi madam
She went to the office and asked Malathi
Malathi with a smile: if you want to give us any donation, it is surely welcome, but otherwise Radhika was working here, and that is enough for this asram. So you don't need to pay anything. But surely you can purchase books or anything.
Dev : sure, Radhika , you want to
The taxi was ready. Dev gave a small envelop in kaka's hand as they sat back in taxi, didn't give him much chance to open it in front of them. They said buy and the taxi made its forward move. Dev told the driver the destination. Suddenly he thought of that driver, whom he met three days back, whom he told, that he is a stranger, and he spend two nights with that driver , but still he doesn't know the driver's name, even the driver doesn't know his name, but he knows Radhika's. But then how did we communicated. He missed that driver's talk.
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Devika, loved each part and Dev realised that he is going to be a father ...He has many questions to ask Radhika ...Expecting a long talk between Dev and Radhika that will help them to wash away all confusions and misunderstandings....
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