Part 89
Radhika's eyes widened seeing the posture of Dev, his agony, his helplessness, and an unknown expression of his failure, everything was written clearly on his wet face, with that trailing of rain drops. Dev was unable to take another step to the front. Radhika held that open flap of the door for support. Time froze for them.
Slowly she took few steps to the front. He watched her eyes as it came closer to him, and an unknown force made him to speak out " I am not a prince, I don't have a black beauty, I never dreamed of saving any princess, I only know that I am Dev and I love you so much, Radhika"
Radhika stood like a statue listening to him, and she took few more steps towards him. The backpack fell onto that wet ground and his arms went wide to both sides and his wide shoulder spread around as he extended hs arms out, and he wrapped it around her , bringing her closer. Radhika stood there in his embrace, trying to believe that moment, which is happening unexpectedly. She rested her hands on his chest, giving it a space for itself, trying to feel the moment is true. The light weight rain drops just fell smoothly, soothing their heart. His arms and hand went on tightening around her, nothing else was going on his mind, he also wanted to believe that this moment is true that his Radhika is in his arms. Slowly moving his lips near to her wet neck space, towards her ears , he mumbled softly "why did you run away from me like that, without giving me a chance to realize it? Please don't do it like that, because without you I am incomplete, please don't run away from me like that?" his broken words trailed off.....
But then a beam of light from a flash light fell on the muddy path and the nearing voice of a person, brought them back to reality, and Dev slowly released her from his embrace and looked at her eyes one more time, and turned to look at that muddy path, holding onto her shoulder, with his questioning eyes.
Coming near, the flash light spotted on Dev's face and the shopkeeper recognized him easily: you here!
Shopkeepr and sulochana noted the posture of the couple, he holding Radhika's shoulder and keeping her closer to him, they kind of understood...
Shopkeeper with a smile: why you didn't tell me that you came for Radhika betiya.
Sulochana: what you are doing outside, come in. It is still raining out. Come..
Saying that she went in , welcoming them inside.
all of a sudden he realized he is standing on an odd place, which is unknown to him. Dev looked at Radhika and her eyes conveyed same, he followed her picking the bag from the ground.
Sulochana as entering house: I heard about Dev form Malathi madam. She told me you are waiting for her, so we were actually talking about that only. Then looking at Dev : I hope you are not in a hurry...
Dev looked at her in question.
Sulochana with a smile: I mean, we know you are here to take her back with you to your place, if possible , wait tonight, and start tomorrow, meet pratham mathaji before leaving and take her blessings. Otherwise also nobody will ask or say anything, but .....it will be really good if you can spend tonight in this place and rest , and continue your journey form tomorrow.
Radhika looked at Dev with a hope and he understood, he just agreed, as he also felt so tired with this hectic journey of mixed feelings and thoughts...
.
Shopkeeper: do you have any dry cloth to wear, or?
Dev looked at his wet bag and opened it and managed to found one.
Sulochana: we don't have much facility here, so, I don't know, or you may need to go nearby town , or Asram people may recognize you and they can accomodate you'
Dev: no I am fine here looking around, he saw one big room, and the kitchen just divided by a small kneww high wall, but otherwise the so calle dhouse has just one hall for keeping stuff and living and dining. and then he looked at Radhika's face
Shopkeeper: Ok then, come with me, will show you the place to change.
Sulochana: Radhika betiya, go change, you will get sick , what was the need to run in that rain like that, don't you know these muddy roads get slippery, that also in this darkness, you should take care of your health now, you know that , right? You should have waited for us.
Dev heard Sulochana's small concerns and her warning tone while following the shopkeeper.
As he came back, he saw Radhika and Sulochana keeping the plates for dinner, on the floor.
Shopkeeper: Dev beta, you came back..... Dinner is ready. Sorry we don't have much facility, we are poor people, but we love to share our space with you. It was only my wife and me living here, and the space was more than enough for us. Then Mathaji send Radhika with us, and then we started thinking the space is very limited, but Rahdika betiya adjusted well with us, we know she might have grown up in big house, but she never complained, she also ate what we ate, she slept on the floor with my wife. And now you also here, I hope you will also don't mind for one night.
Dev with a smile , stroking back his wet dry hair: no Kaka, I am fine, I am fine.
.
Shopkeeper with a smile: I know, you will also be same like Radhika betiya. We were thinking of adding another room to this small house and all, anyway now we don't need to think that further.
Sulochana: come , food is ready.
Dev came and sat on the floor, Radhika was coming out from kitchen with a curry pot in her hand, Dev just glanced at her , he surprised to see her wearing light blue colored , full length, printed cotton loose nighty (house coat).
Sulochana served food in their plate, and said: Radhika betiya you also sit
Radhika: let them finish, we two will sit together
Sulochana: I don't want you to starve
Shopkeeper: then you two also join us
Radhika: no kaka, I am fine, you finish, I am fine.
She served curry in his plate. There was not much to chose or anything.
Kaka: so what time you are planning to leave tomorrow
Dev: 8.30 they will open the gate ,right?
Sulochana: ha, but then looking at Radhika: beta, you go early by school gate, mathaji won't say anything.
Radhika: ji
They had dinner. Kaka went out with a beedi in his hand , burning the end of it he said : looks like the rain stopped. I am glad.
Dev just stood along with him outside that house, looking up at the stars, listenign to his rainy talk.
Kaka: After Radhika beti joined us, I used to sleep outside in that small cot.
Dev looked at the small cot on the side,
Shopkeeper: looks like that got wet too.
Their talk continued and by then ladies also finished their dinner. And soon it was time to bed. Radhika spread a soft bed on the floor for Dev and brought a sheet .. She moved to a corner and checked on her dried hair.
Sulochana: Is this enough?
He just nodded his head agreeing , he looked at Radhika, who was braiding her hair tightly looking at a small mirror hanged on that wall.
Sulochana went out to check on kaka. Seeing the privacy , Dev came near and wrapped his arms around her tummy , and brought her body closer to him, saying secretly near to her ear: you really changed a lot Radhika.
She jerked seeing his sudden action and looked outside at the door.
Dev looking at her face: what!!!... she went out to meet kaka, now please tell me something.
Radhika just looked at him , thinking what to say.
Sulochana was coming back in and saw him holding onto Radhika, she felt shy and stepped back to the wet ground without making any noise....
Dev: ok let me say: he looked at her face and said: you look so pale, the brightness of your eyes diminished. all because being away from me. I know. Resting his chin on her shoulder he continued: um, you look so serious , Radhika. I like the old Radhika. And then looking at her body he said: what is this dress you are wearing, when I saw you first in that churidar, you looked more thin, so you lost all those weight? he grinned lightly saying that out., and then, saying that his arms tried to tighten over her tummy, Radhika closed her eyes, and she gulped once, and he saw the change and he try to feel her tummy inside that loose cloth and his arms felt that small bulge, he rubbed his arms across it , once, twice or trice, and then bringing it up he felt the flatness of her curve, he paused his hand in that position and he felt her hand sliding over his, taking a deep breath in with closed eyes as if confirming his doubtful touch.
He felt his mouth drying up, and with much difficulty he called out softly: Radhikaaa
Then he forced on her shoulder and turning her he touched her chin and lifting it up he said in broken words..in an unbelievable tone, reading her eyes, : you, ..you.... you never told me. He felt hurt somewhere inside. Sudden gush of unwanted questions and resoning came out from his mind, and spill out through his tongue.Maybe it was hiiden inside, but it came to conscious with this shock moment. Did I become that stranger to you Radhika! Kab se? its our baby and you didn't feel like calling me once and telling me. Then releasing his hand he turned and said: how can you ,right? you actually walked away from me , na. It is me who didn't understand you and who never tried to realize that you needed some freedome from me, you want to be out from my world na. Do you really want to come with me , back to Delhi? Back to chandenpur? His eyes started filling up, his words started feeling broken and wet, but he asked one more question : do you want to come back with me? do you still love me Radhika?
But then they heard the loud voice from outside and Dev moved away to his bed side and Sulochana came in. Dev settled under that sheet and covered his face, to hide himself from showing outside. He never thought of it that way; she walked away from everyone, no , not from everyone, she kept her contact with everyone else, except him. So am I the cause of her hiding now. His thoughts were hitting hard on him. For a moment , he moved that sheet down and looked and found Radhika sitting with reading something, near a lighted lamp. Sulochana also was sitting next to her. He wished for the morning to come quick. At any cost, Radhika you need to come with me, and now, its our baby, I want to hold you close to my heart, but but. He closed his eyes tight,covering his face under that sheet... to bring the darkness, so that he can escape from those painful thoughts.
The passing time brought more darkness to the outside and the wetness still kept few of the nocturnal frogs and crickets to sound at its maximum possible voice. He waited for the morning, with closing his eyes shut.
The sound of walking feet from nearby ear, woke him up and he startled first and then moved his cover down to his neck. Slowly opening his sleepy eyes he saw kaki walking out form the house.
"is it morning already?' he questioned to self.
Sitting on the bed, he tried to look at the watch, and it was around around 5 AM.
"aap uthgaye" he turned and found Radhika coming near to him.
Suddenly a beaming smile appeared on his lips and he replied: um
"go fresh , up and I will get the tea." Saying that she tried to grab on that sheet, suddenly he held her hand, with a smile, and looked at her face. She already had her bath, and her wet hair has been nicely tied to the back, she was wearing a small sindoor line on her forehead. That itself gave him the answer for his last question to her. He smiled from within and just wanted to held her closer, but then he heard the backdoor opening, he suddenly released her hand and getting up on his feet he said: ha, I will be right back.
Radhika folded the sheet and rolled the bed and kept that in a corner side.
Time passed by
Sulochana: so, after seeing mathaji, you are leaving directly from there , right?
Radhika: ha , maaji
Dev heard that, he felt happy. He combed his hair back well.
Kaka: Dev beta, I will go call the taxi for you, ok
Dev; its ok kaka
Kaka with a smile: don't worry, I know few of them, so will find one easily for you
Dev: I can come with you too
Kaka: no, you go with Radhika betiya and meet Mathaji, I will get all these ready
Dev: ji
Sulochana: then come, let's go together, I need to be there too early, actually I am late already, they might be knowing the reason.
Kaka: ha, you people go, I will get the taxi by then.
Dev walked along with Radhika and Sulochana. They went through the school gate. As they reched inside the Asram premise, Sulochana gave a hug to Radhika and then giving a smile to Dev she went to the kitchen area.
Radhika walked towards the office and Dev just followed her.
Malathi came out with a smile, and then looking at dev: so, finally you found your Radhika
Dev smiled thankfully again.
Malathi: Radhika, Matha ji is expecting you, she is waiting in the prayer hall. Dev you also go with Radhika , and take the blessings , ok.
Dev: ji
They both entered that big empty hall. Dev found it similar to the boys asram one. The silence and the vacuum inside gave a different experience into this mind. He saw the Mathaji , very tall, wearing a orange color saree, and with shaved head. Radhika went with folded hands near to her and so did Dev.
Mathaji: Finally somebody came to pick you up. Nice. And then looking at Dev: don't get afraid seeing me and then her days here , ok. Only think you made her to wait little longer at the station. But she was safe and maybe this wait helped you both to relaize somehting.
Dev smiled.
Matha ji : Radhika, you asked me for the deeksha for long, but I denied to give you. But now I think I can give that to you, as your husband is standing next to you. I was waiting for this moment. Then looking at Dev: Don't worry about hearing this Deeksha word. This helps for strengthening your mind, and a good meditation. So if you can wait outside for few minutes, Dev smiled and then bowing his head he walked out.
Mathaji then looking at Radhika: Radhika, I don't know whether this environment brought any change or satisfaction, but your destiny is tied to this sindoor, so do your karma, not for the sake of the karma , but from within your heart; your action should not be just for the sake of duty, but for your own mental satisfaction. You need to enjoy the colors of life, because you bound to this red color. My blessings are always with you.
Radhika stood there with her folded hands together.
Mathaji closing her eyes , chanted few mathra and then getting near to Radhika's ear , she secretly said few words into her ears, only for her to hear.
Radhika took it form Mathaji, she felt the happiest, she kneeled down on the floor,and then her bowing head touched those punya athma's feet.
Mathaji giving ashirwad said: May God bless you .
After a pause she said : I know that you know it already but still, chant this everyday 108 times, and I want you to begin that from today, from this mandir, try to concentrate, and i am sure you can do it. She gave her a small ball of sweet...
Mathaji continued : I will give one to dev too.
With a smile she went out, leaving Radhika to sit in that quiet room. Dev was standing outside.
She gave the Prasad in Dev's hand and then with a smile: visit us when you get free time, we have prayers and all here, and it will be a pleasure if you can attend it .
Dev: we will come back one day.
Mathaji: um, ok then , I need to leave.. Radhika will be joining you soon.
Saying that she was about to leave, few kids came running towards her.
Dev looked at them.
The kdis came and stood in fornt of her with bowed head.
Mathaji: what happened
One kid: we are sorry, we plucked this gooseberries, and and
then one other sevika came near: Pranam mathaji
Mathaji looked at that sevika in question.
Sevika in little irritated voice: They plucked these from the tree and was trying to hide it from me,
Mathaji with little smile on her face, looking at the kids: that is not a good action
Kids: Mathaji we love to eat it, and nobody gives us.
Mathaji stroking on one of the kids head, who was holding that gooseberries in her hand: it is not for plucking it, how many kids are here , they all love to have one, do you have enough to share with them all?
The kid looked at Mathaji's face in question.
Mathaji with a smile: so only I siad, it is inapprorpiate. So next time when you do somehting like this , make sure you have enough to share with all your friends, then share it with them, but don't leave anyone behind.
Kid: what do we do with this now. showing five of them in her little hand
Mathaji with a smile: you plcuked it, now you only eat it. but next time, think of all the students here, then move forward with your action, ok.
Kids with a smile: JI mathaji
Mathaji was about to leave, Dev noticed all those little ones touching her feet for blessing and they ran away with a winning smile , and the Sevika just walked away with an irriated face.
Dev saw Mathaji walking away, suddenly he felt something, that he went and stood on her way. mathaji looked at him , suddenly he bowed down and touched her feet. Mathaji with a smile blessed him and then walked away.
Radhika came out form the prayer hall and joined Dev.
Dev: Radhika, do we need to pay any fee here
Radhika: I don't know
Dev: ask somebody na, also what about Kaka?
Radhika: let me ask malathi madam
She went to the office and asked Malathi
Malathi with a smile: if you want to give us any donation, it is surely welcome, but otherwise Radhika was working here, and that is enough for this asram. So you don't need to pay anything. But surely you can purchase books or anything.
Dev : sure, Radhika , you want to
Time passed by, they came out and went to kaka's shop.
The taxi was ready. Dev gave a small envelop in kaka's hand as they sat back in taxi, didn't give him much chance to open it in front of them. They said buy and the taxi made its forward move. Dev told the driver the destination. Suddenly he thought of that driver, whom he met three days back, whom he told, that he is a stranger, and he spend two nights with that driver , but still he doesn't know the driver's name, even the driver doesn't know his name, but he knows Radhika's. But then how did we communicated. He missed that driver's talk.
....He looked sideways and found Radhika sitting silently, looking outside. He wanted to talk to her so much, ask her so much, but nothing was coming at this point. He wrapped his left arm around her shoulder, in an attempt to get her closer. She looked at him once, but then again her eyes fell on that passing trees, dev also passively looked outside, but then he felt her head leaning towards his shoulder side and it rested on his upper arm. With a hopeful smile, he tried to see her face. He was missing this weight on his shoulder for months, but for the last few days, it was so painful to even think about it, but now he felt it, closer to him. He held her shoulder more closer.
********************************************************
Thank you for all the splashes .. and happy Holi to all my lovely friends out there too
will PM with next update.
Thanks for reading my post, have a good day...
part 90
Edited by Devika. - 13 years ago
comment:
p_commentcount