Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Dark Temptations [My OS Gallery]: Breathe : Pg 11 (Page 13)

adi_gupta IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 October 2007
Posts: 3752

Posted: 11 December 2011 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
I played my music player because songs are the best medicines for the pain.
mahak this line is true and every time i feel that there is no body for me to help me i do the same
really touching os and the song i love it
the way you describe all this i mean this is naturally happen but we can't describe it in that way how you describe it...
lovely song and lovely world.

But no matter what, I had to learn. Learn to breathe… without him. I know I have hurt him immensely and I am sorry for hurting him, but this is the only way I can save my heart from breaking into pieces. I know I am being utterly selfish. I can't breathe without him, but I know… I have to.
actually i want to write many things  but i don't have words
lovely os
sorry for the delay

anumeha_rajat IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 12 February 2010
Posts: 10172

Posted: 12 December 2011 at 6:39am | IP Logged
wooowww mahak...

touched heart simply yaar...

beautiful n awsum...

amazing...loved it...

thnx for the pm...
_SilverLining_ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 26 June 2011
Posts: 3984

Posted: 14 December 2011 at 1:43am | IP Logged
Awesomeee ONE SHOT Mahak... love d song, love Taylor swift, loved ur OS!!!!! Smile 
I love all of Taylor's songs because they all tell a story and portray different aspects of love... not that all have sad endings, many end happily as well... dis song is one of my fav and dis portrays d pain of separation in very very touching way...
BUT I HAVE TO Broken Heart
binudamania Senior Member

Joined: 11 November 2009
Posts: 409

Posted: 14 December 2011 at 1:46am | IP Logged
amazingly potrayed every emotion
Monstuholic4evr IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 26 January 2011
Posts: 14724

Posted: 14 December 2011 at 2:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ...Mahak...

Originally posted by nandinii_goyal


I am hoping for you to leave a review for me, if possible :)

- Mahi

I have edited my post :)
dynamic_doll IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 19 July 2009
Posts: 14372

Posted: 18 December 2011 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
nice OS Mahak!
thanx for the pm Smile

Edited by Favouriteofall - 18 December 2011 at 12:36pm
rose.three IF-Rockerz

Joined: 13 March 2007
Posts: 7459

Posted: 06 January 2012 at 8:18am | IP Logged
sry 4r late reply dear... plz dont mind 
was totally busy :(

anywayz awesome os...
beautifully written...
loved it...

do pm me wen ever derz a new updt...
a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 12 January 2012 at 1:16pm | IP Logged

Sorry. I have been inactive at I-F, and officially I still am but I just wanted to post some thoughts on your wonderful OS.


Although they say that poetry is the perfect words in the perfect order, I can not help but feel that the same is true for great prose.  Maybe it would be better to say that some prose is poetical, specifically yours.  I love your word order but more so, I love the words you use. For instance, many of them follwed suit. Here that connotation of playing cards, setting a scene where life is like a game, seemingly dependent upon chance and much luck, as people who play games would have you believe. The way of the world which you juxtapose with the way of the earth, which works upon faith and as you say love.  Beautiful.

Sad songs make you sadder. LOL Cute, in a really poignant way.

Anyway after some time spent with the earth and its balms, you bring her back to the way of the world with, I let my tears fall in a queue.  At first I couldn't make out if that meant that they were held up, being restrained, but pent up for an eventual and inevitable release OR that it meant that they followed one another, in a slow and singular fashion.  However you used the latter, which I liked because it added to that latent theme of world, opposing the state of the earth. You add layers, through words such as salty, which reminds us of those salty oceans, a glance back to nature BUT as you note, she hasn't time to perceive the earth past the world in front of her, that world that suffocates and chokes, not unlike that polluted air of the towns, cities and societies that make up the world we have created.  Finely done.

However my favourite note of your piece was the use of rain as an expression for breath.  Most people would equate it with drowning, soaking or some kind of suffusion BUT never breathing.  I really like that.  Very impressive, unique and wild!  It showcases why you stand out from your peers as a writer. 

Beautifully written as always. With love, Sabah

Edited by a little faith - 12 January 2012 at 1:16pm

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
A Dark Love Story ...

Author: raspberrytorte   Replies: 3   Views: 4812

raspberrytorte 3 4812 11 October 2011 at 5:21pm by *Nishi*
From the depth of a dark heart:The consequence

2 3 4 5 6

Author: Sur_10   Replies: 41   Views: 4373

Sur_10 41 4373 28 April 2010 at 11:40am by Sur_10

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels

Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems Topic Index

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index