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Dark Temptations [My OS Gallery]: Breathe : Pg 11 (Page 11)

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

Joined: 28 August 2009

Posts: 15200

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Faria-

awww mehak another beautiful os by OS
it was totally mind blowing
loved it hun
weldone
keep it up





I am so glad that you find it beautiful enough to leave a review :)

Fari, I am so glad that you found it mind-blowing and loved it :)

I really appreciate you for taking out your time and commenting on my piece of work. This really boosts up my moral support. Thank you so much for being there :)

And I hope to find your support in my works, as always :)

- Mahi

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

Joined: 28 August 2009

Posts: 15200

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by --ANGEL--

hey mahak...
awesome os...i didnt feel at all that it was written by an ametuer...the feelings in the os were so deep...i loved every word of the os...thanx 4 sharing this master piece with us...will wait 4 more of ur os...
love angel




I am so glad that you find it beautiful enough to leave a review :)

Angel, I am so glad that you didn't feel my lack of maturity in this one-shot. About feelings, well, thank you so much. I am glad that you felt the depth in those feelings. For a writer, there isn't a bigger compliment than her reader saying that she loved every word of her work.

Thank you for making me feel so happy. :)

Master piece? If you find this one so perfect, then I am sure that you are going to like my next one-shot :)

I really appreciate you for taking out your time and commenting on my piece of work. This really boosts up my moral support. Thank you so much for being there :)

And I hope to find your support in my works, as always :)

- Mahi

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--ANGEL--

FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

Joined: 28 August 2009

Posts: 15200

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 12:31pm | IP Logged

I am so glad that you find it nice enough to press the LIKE tab :)

I really appreciate you for taking out your time and reading my piece of work. This really boosts up my moral support. Thank you so much for being there :)

And I hope to find your support in my works, as always :)

P.S. - As gupta.aditi20 pointed out, she wants a sequel to 'Eye Lock', what are your views on that? Do you all want it too?

P.P.S. - I also replied back to everyone who commented. Thanks for your time, love and company :)

- Mahi




Edited by ...Mahak... - 09 December 2011 at 12:32pm

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

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Posts: 15200

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
Coming to my next one-shot...

'Breathe' is another, nameless one-shot. I just love this song by Taylor Swift, and yesterday it just occurred to me that I should write something on it.

I just copied the lyrics and started writing on it. I had no idea about what I was writing. I just wrote. In-fact, when it ended, I had to read and check, what I wrote. Embarrassed

Whether or not I am successful, that only the reviews will tell. Embarrassed

But I hope you enjoy the intervention of nature into the feelings. :)

Hoping to find your support in the form of reviews. Criticisms are always welcome :)

- Mahi

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

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Posts: 15200

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
It's a not a song based one-shot, though the lyrics are used in this. I haven't used the theme of anything, except love. The story is told in a different manner. Pain and melancholy are used to describe what love is.

In this one-shot, the nature intervenes the course of misery and creates another sort of romance. When pain comes out of your eyes, nature always soothes the pain. But what if, she can't... breathe? Can she learn to breathe... without him?






I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time


I got into my car and locked it properly to avoid going back. As soon as I saw the car moving away, a tear slid down my face. And then… many of them followed the suit. I lowered down my windows, so that I could feel the fresh breath of air, engulfing me in a hug. I needed love… and nature had that in abundance.


A cold rush of air breathed in my space. I wasn't alone anymore. The winds were breathing along with me. I badly needed to let myself go… and so I did. I don't know, right now, all I want to do is to cry like there's no tomorrow and weep my heart out.


Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around


I played my music player because songs are the best medicines for the pain. I played the song and immediately the music of 'our-song' came on radio. I changed the channel after wiping off a fresh set of tears. A soft and melancholic song started playing and I got another reason to cry. Sad songs make you sadder. I guess.


The winds were blowing softly and slowly. The night was as dark as one could be. It seemed like the moon was ashamed of something, so it took shelter behind the clouds. The stars had witnessed it all. The lugubrious night hid it all.


And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand


And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to


I let my tears fall in a queue. Some of them settled on my lips and softly kissed me. Though, the salty tears were the last thing in my mind. Right now, the pain in my chest was greater than I ever felt. I couldn't breathe. I tried breathing but I felt choked.


The winds blew softly against my curls and I felt like someone was caressing my cheeks and trying to wipe off my tears. The winds created a soothing rhythm on my cheeks and I could hear the soft whispers of the wind.


Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out


It's never easy. I never wanted to be this hurt. I never thought I would get this much involved. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't even notice a bump in the road. A sudden jerk brought me back to reality.


My long hair flew back and I felt a gush of air, chilling me to the bones. I tried to stop feeling so desolate and alone. But, instead I felt numb by all those over-powering emotions. I felt paralyzed with grief. I felt soreness in my heart. I couldn't breathe.


And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand


And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to


I stopped my car and got out of it. I could not remain there any longer. I felt suffocated like in a prison. I was agitated with myself. How could I feel like this? Why did I feel like this for him? I could blame myself for all I want, but the truth was… I loved him.


Since the very moment I met him, I have always loved him. It wasn't easy for me to break off things with him. But I couldn't do this to myself anymore. I couldn't pretend that I was happy when actually, I was in pain.


It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me


He was my best friend, but I fell for him. Breaking off my friendship was the only option I had. I had to protect myself. I knew I was falling for someone, who wasn't there to catch me. And I knew that if he ever came to know about my feelings, he would feel bad for me.


I never wanted his sympathy. I never wanted him to pity me. I had to break my friendship before he could come to know about my feelings, which are getting stronger day by day. I had to. I knew that. I just wish it was that easy.


And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh


I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to


The rain started falling and I realized I wasn't alone again. The rain had started breathing with me. I loved dancing in rain. But I never thought that one day would come, when I would sit down on my knees in middle of nowhere, break down completely... and cry.


As the rains soaked me completely, I realized that I can't live without him. He is the reason for my sanity. He is the reason for my life. He is my soul. I can't breathe without him. He is the reason I breathed. He is my breath…


I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry


But no matter what, I had to learn. Learn to breathe… without him. I know I have hurt him immensely and I am sorry for hurting him, but this is the only way I can save my heart from breaking into pieces. I know I am being utterly selfish. I can't breathe without him, but I know… I have to.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


That's it. 



I wrote it down yesterday night because my hands were itching to write down something. And I hope that it came out fine :)

Also published here: http://mahak-thefragranceoflife.blogspot.com/2011/12/breathe.html


I really hope that you like it. Please leave your reviews. Constructive Criticisms are always welcome :)


Sincerely,



Edited by ...Mahak... - 09 December 2011 at 1:21pm

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-Anila-

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-Anila-

Joined: 10 June 2011

Posts: 6402

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 10:47pm | IP Logged
Awesome OS...
loved it lodss...
beautifully written i must say...
d feeling of dat song u wrote beautifully...
d girl's feelings were heart touching...
i loved it lodsss...
do write more plzzz...
love ya...Hug

ps: abt "Eye Lock" i will say a YES to continue...Embarrassed
n han plzzz update ur ff "Unexpected" plzzz


Edited by 18anila1 - 10 December 2011 at 1:36am

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janu1610

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janu1610

Joined: 27 March 2008

Posts: 6589

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
Mahak why love is complicated .
It give us reason to breathe and simultaneously takk our breath away.
We live for our love but it hurts to live without getting it in our life .
why God made us to fall for some one nd keep strolling in pain . why every one is not so lucky to have him/her nd live peacefully in embrace of ...??????????
very nice shot keep writing .
thanks for pm.
love n luck.
PS:-even i dunno why i wrote this. hope it make some sense.lol

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premanaHumayraMaria.

premana

Goldie

premana

Joined: 28 December 2009

Posts: 2030

Posted: 09 December 2011 at 11:44pm | IP Logged
[QUOTE=janu1610]
Mahak why love is complicated .
It give us reason to breathe and simultaneously takk our breath away.
We live for our love but it hurts to live without getting it in our life .
why God made us to fall for some one nd keep strolling in pain . why every one is not so lucky to have him/her nd live peacefully in embrace of ...??????????
very nice shot keep writing .
thanks for pm.
love n luck.
PS:-even i dunno why i wrote this. hope it make some sense.lol

agree with ur each and every word

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