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Communication problems with my wife in India (Page 4)

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harry5126

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harry5126

Joined: 11 February 2011

Posts: 28

Posted: 22 June 2011 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by GoldenPanda.

I'm so sorry about what happened. I do advise you to confront her and see what she has to say for herself, even if you're filing for a divorce. You deserve better than this, every person deserves to be loved and most importantly treated with respect.


I already know all the answers, that's why I do not need to confront her. Before marriage she mentioned she was not comfortable with this marriage, so I told my parents and said, lets call it off since her heart is not in it. I said I will give them a call and tell them no. Instead of this plan, my parents called her and said are your not interested in him? do you not want to get married etc.? They told her father as well, she got really scared and started crying and called me and said she is 100% in on this marriage and parents parents said, see she is ok, why are you bailing out, it's not her it's you. I was sooo trapped, I couldn't say no.

Now if I confront her, she will say: No he is just a friend, there is nothing going on. And I wrote those emails just as a joke, nothing serious etc. etc. and my parents will say, see everything is ok, so let's not get divorced.

Here are some of the facts:

She spends about 2 to 3 hours everyday looking at his photos on his facebook and read old conversations she has had with him. In past 3 weeks, she looked at my profile and my photos 2 times for less than 1 min.

I tell her that I really like her etc. etc. She just looks away.

The guy calls her cute. Before I knew this I called her cute as well and she told me to stop calling her cute because she said she does not like it. The real reason is that the other guy calls her cute and she does not want me to.

After getting somewhat physical, I asked her: what are you feeling towards me? She said "Please do not ask me this question"

I gave her couple of lovely nicknames before knowing the truth and asked her what does she want to call me? She said "You already have a name, i do not need to make one up" She has cute nicknames for the other guy.

After marriage when I came back to US, I told her that i miss her, and i want to be with her, and i will see her in my dreams, she wouldn't say anything, i asked why, she said she does not know how to talk like this. She talks all lovey dovey with this guy and even tells him she missed him and will see him in her dreams etc.

After marriage when i came back, i asked her to chat online with me. She said she does not chat online at all. I can see she reads conversation she has had with him in online chat almost every other day after marriage while she was in India. She did not even want to try to build something with me.

I mean the list just goes on and on. I do not think she is interested in me and will ever love me.

As to why she married me. The other guy asked her as well. Here is her answer "I did it because of y parents. I did it for their happiness. I want o see them happy and that is the reason I am doing all this".

She does not have a desire to build a loving relationship with me, seems like a formality to please her parents.

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GoldenPanda.

IF-Rockerz

GoldenPanda.

Joined: 24 May 2009

Posts: 7641

Posted: 23 June 2011 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
Well going by how she acts with this other guy; she is capable of showing affection, just not towards you. I guess you have all your answers right in front of you. She doesn't love you and you're clearly putting more energy into making your marriage work than she is. You deserve better than this.

I can't help but wonder though; do you love her?

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

bavdfan

fammma

Goldie

fammma

Joined: 09 January 2006

Posts: 1703

Posted: 24 June 2011 at 7:39am | IP Logged
awww...i feel for you man. Obviously she does know how to chat, be affectionate and speak nicely, but she was just leaving it all to do with someone else...
It seems like she doesnt like u, btw where is this guy? In India?
 
There doesnt seem to be muuch of a future if she is still not yet opening up to you and it doesnt seem as though she will be either.
 
Do u still  love and trust her? if thats not there, the marriage aint either...
 
 

harry5126

Newbie

harry5126

Joined: 11 February 2011

Posts: 28

Posted: 24 June 2011 at 9:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by fammma

awww...i feel for you man. Obviously she does know how to chat, be affectionate and speak nicely, but she was just leaving it all to do with someone else...
It seems like she doesnt like u, btw where is this guy? In India?
 
There doesnt seem to be muuch of a future if she is still not yet opening up to you and it doesnt seem as though she will be either.
 
Do u still  love and trust her? if thats not there, the marriage aint either...
 
 


First I was falling in love with her but since I have known the truth that she loves another guy and lies to me all the time, I don't love her and I don't trust her and I can never trust her in my entire life.

bavdfan

Senior Member

bavdfan

Joined: 23 April 2011

Posts: 719

Posted: 25 June 2011 at 11:17am | IP Logged
I read all this topic and i have to say that it was really interesting.

She may not love you, but you're the one married to her.

The problem is that she does not love you. She isn't even trying to work things out with you. There is a high probability that she'll cheat one day on you, if she go back to india and got to see her friend (people can be really intimate through the net), if she starts working and find someone "cute" to her.

Reading the first post i thought that she was emotionally weak but in fact she is a really passionate person that could give her all for the person she loves. But it's not you.


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