Posted: 09 March 2011 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by persistence
Haha! Well, I would take her getting along with your family a good sign.
How different are you from your family? Are they more punjabi/indian that you are or feel? If so, getting in touch with your roots may help...better yet, ask your wife to get you re-acquainted with your roots.
Maybe you guys can develop a better connection that way. If your mom and dad already tell her about your life and happenings, maybe you can ask her about what is going on in her life instead? listen more than you tell.
Just out of curiosity, did she ask you why you have not called her for 3 days?
I am very much acquainted with my roots. I am different from my family when it comes to personality. I have more views common with my wife than she has with my family such as caste does not matter in marriage, if someone wants to marry outside religion, let them. My family does not believe in this. She is usually nice to my family and more of herself with me. She does not discuss anything that causes conflict and if they mention something she disagrees with, she nodes in agreement anyway and later tell me that she disagrees. However, she tries to initiate conversation with my family and adds to the conversation more than she does to me.
The problem is our personalities, they are very different. I am a person who likes to have 2 way conversations so that other person has to add something to the convo otherwise I do not talk much. She by nature is very reserved and does not talk much to begin with. I ask her how is she doing and what was she doing when i called, she answers but does not ask me. Her answers are very precise such as, "i was just sitting", or "watching tv". If i ask what did u do today. she says, 'Nothing much, just house work'. If I try to initiate some conversation she says something which I consider to be a conversation breaker, like I already know, or let it go, etc. And I do not feel like talking after she put the breaks on. I have talked to her about it and told her and she said that's her nature and that's how she is so she does not do it intentionally. She also does not share much from her side even if I ask, nothing about her family, her childhood, her brother and sister, rather than just saying they are fine.
There were few songs on her ipod when I went to India, she had heard the songs I had on my iphone and I never heard the songs on her ipod because i did not want to invade her privacy. I had asked her, "what kind of songs do you listen to these days". she said "the one that are popular", i said "what kind of songs are on your ipod", She said "there are a lot". I said, "name some", she said, "she can't off the head but will email me". And then she never emails me the songs as her email is very generic.
If I ask again, she gets irritated.
I had asked her in the email, what kind of things she would like to do with me when she gets here. This was to see what she is interested in so I can first do stuff she likes. She never answered the questions and just wrote a generic email.
She never asked why i did not call for 3 days. She never asks me if i miss her. I asked her if she misses me, and she jokingly said, i don't know.
Now Persistence, u tell me ....