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Write a scene contest - RESULTS ON PG11 (Page 4)

deepikabanerjee IF-Sizzlerz
deepikabanerjee
deepikabanerjee

Joined: 20 June 2010
Posts: 10984

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:08am | IP Logged
(my first attempt, am not good at this)
ENTRY NO.12
Scene1


Abhijeet and Daya standing outside Taarika's house, they have come to return the ring that taarika had given to abhijeet

DAYA: Kya hua Abhijeet? Bell toh bajao

ABHIJEET(clearing his throat): Nahin woh...ye ring usne bade pyaar si di thi, waapas karunga toh naraaz ho jaegi

DAYA(chuckling): Kamaal hei bhai, pehle toh keh rahe thhe ke ye jung lagi hui ring ring nahi balki gaale mei faansi ki tarah lag rahaa hei, kahin baad me taarika shaadi ke liye pichhe na padh jaye

ABHIJEET: ye...ye...bohot galat baat hei...sab galti tumhari aur ACP sahab ki hei, jab mei Maya ke saath CID ke khilaf hone ka naatak kar raha tha aur mene tum logo ko ye ring di thi, tabhi fenk dete tum log, balaa tal jati

DAYA(with a mocking indignant look): Hadh hei bhai humein lagaa ke ye tumhaari amaanat hei, humei ise sambhal ke rakhna chahiye

ABHIJEET: amaanat amanat chodho, socho kaise chhutkara paye iss se...mei Taarika ke muh pe ye ring nahin maar sakta, behosh ho gayi toh mujhme to use uthane ki himmat bhi nahin hogi

DAYA: toh mei hun na(winked)....Hmmmm...chalo sochte hei...hmm....idea, freddy se taarika ko waapas dene ko kehte hei

ABHIJEET: han, ye theek hei

Scene2

 Next day In bureau

DAYA: arre waah freddy, ab tum bhi coat pehen ne waalo ke club mein shaamil ho gaye, kya baat hei?

FREDDY: ye sir, meri wife ki taraf se gift hei

DAYA: Achha, aisa kya? ab kaunsa aisa kam kar diya tumne?

FREDDY(with a proud look):Kal sir meri wife ne apni kuchh saheliyo ko tea-party ke liye bulaya tha, mene unhe non-stop chai aur pakode banaake khilaye mene

DAYA: waah freddy, acha mei bhi tumhe 1 gift dena chahta hun..

FREDDY: Toh der kis baat ki sir, dijiye na

DAYA:..dunga,dunga...thoda dhiraj rakho.....pehle tumhe ek kaam karna padhega

FREDDY: kya sir?

DAYA(taking out the dreaded ring from his pocket): ye ring tumhe Dr Taarika ko waapas lautani hei

FREDDY: arre sir, ye toh wohi ring hei na jo abhijeet sir ko dr taarika ne di thi, woh use waapas kyu lautana chahte hein?

DAYA(in a low tone to himself): arre tum kya jaano freddy, ye ring toh abhijeet ke gale ka fanda ban chuka hei......(out aloud)...arrre wo isliye kyunki aajkal abhijeet ko kisi bhi tarah ke metal se allergy ho rakhi hei

FREDDY: oh...achha

DAYA: toh tum fataa fat se ye kam kar lo aur yahan tumhara surprise gift tumhara intezaar kar raha hoga....

FREDDY: theek hei sir, mei yun gaya aur yun aaya.....

Scene 3



freddy and taarika in forensic lab

Taarika(leaning over a corpse): ye, dr salunkhe bhi na, khud pataa nahin kahaan chale gae aur yahaan ek badbudaar laash mere sar pe chorh ke chale gaye...aur ek ye abhieet, shaadi ke liye propose hi nahin kar rahaa, ek din mujhe laash se hi shaadi karnio padhegi


FREDDY ENTERS

Freddy: Good morning, dr taarika

Taarika; good morning freddy...tum yahaan...itni subah subah?

Freddy: Mujhe daya sir ne aapko ye lautane ko bheja hei.....(and brandishes the ring)

Taarika(eyes widening with anger): YE RING WAAPAS KARNE? par kyu? ye to mene abhijeet ko di thi aur ye daya ke paas kase pohoch gayi

Freddy(looking scared): mu...mu...mujhe daya sir ne kaha ke aajkal  abhijeet sir ko kisi bhi tarah ke metal se allergy ho rakhi hei isiliye.......(isnt able to complete the sentence)

Taarika: KYA BAKWAAS HEI YE....agar metal se allaergy hei to apni gun kaise istemaal karta hei abhijeet.....

Freddy(seeing the ring more closely and spotting some rust on it): Dr Taarika, iss ring me toh jung lagi hui hei....shayad isiliye abhiet sir lautana chahte thhe aur khud himmat nahin juta paye toh daya sir aur abhi sir ne mujhe phansa diya

Taarika: KYA KAHA TUMNE....thehro zaara... tumhe mazaa chakhati hun

(picks up a thigh bone from one of the skeletons lying in the lab and goes after Freddy)

Freddy: bachao...bachao (runs out of the lab at break neck speed)




Edited by deep_baner - 18 February 2011 at 2:21am

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visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31228

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:09am | IP Logged
Gadhadada and Deep Baner, please change your entry numbers. See the previous entry and its number. 
 
 
 
Deep, I think it's still wrong!!!! Gadhadada has got it all wrong!!!


Edited by visrom - 18 February 2011 at 2:12am
deepikabanerjee IF-Sizzlerz
deepikabanerjee
deepikabanerjee

Joined: 20 June 2010
Posts: 10984

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:12am | IP Logged
 have entered mine as 10...as gadhadada posted before me so, he will enter 9, i think
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31228

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:12am | IP Logged
Deep, Gadhadada has posted 3 entries!!!! All with wrong numbering.
deepikabanerjee IF-Sizzlerz
deepikabanerjee
deepikabanerjee

Joined: 20 June 2010
Posts: 10984

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

Deep, Gadhadada has posted 3 entries!!!! All with wrong numbering.
then, please tell me what to do?Ouch
gadhadada Coolbie
gadhadada
gadhadada

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Posts: 74311

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 2:37am | IP Logged
hey DII's

hope now i cleared my blunder....
sorry...



Bhavanab IF-Sizzlerz
Bhavanab
Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009
Posts: 24043

Posted: 18 February 2011 at 4:19am | IP Logged
OK my try !!!

ENTRY NO.13



Daya :- Abhijeet ...
Abhijeet :- Haan Daya ??
Daya :- Kuch gadbad lag rahi hai ..
Abhijeet :- Tumhe kya lagtha hai ??
Daya :- Bada hi khush lag raha hai ...
Abhijeet :- Haan part kyun ??
Daya :- Patha nahi boss ...



Freddy suddenly comes to them ....

Freddy :- Daya sir ... Congrats ....
Daya :-Freddy congrats ?? ... kis khushi pe ??
Freddy :- Sir bolne toh dijiye ... Sir ... congrats wish kijiye mujhe ..
Daya :- Haan congrats ... par batoge bhi kyun ??
Freddy :- Sir aaj meri wife ne kaha kuch achcha hone waala hai ... shayad mera promotion ho ??



Taarika comes from behind and with a surprised expression (tough to imagine but try to Tongue )

Taarika :- Par Freddy abhi toh bas lagtha hai na .... jab kuch achcha hoga tab congratulate karna chahiye

Freddy :- Dr. Taarika, woh toh mujhe bhi patha hai .... par jab bhi main sochta hoon kuch achcha hoga, kuch na kuch gadbad ho hi jaati hai isliye pehle hi socha congratulations le loon !!! Meri wife kehti hi ki agar pehle se hi soche ki achcha hoga toh sach mein ho jaat hai !!

Taarika :- Achcha kya tumhe sach lagtha hai ??

Freddy :- Arre Dr. Taarika ... wife kabhi jhoot nahi bolti ....

Taarika :- Achcha agar yeh sach hai toh main bhi aazmaan ke dekhti hoon !!! Aisa sochti hoon ki main assistant nahi hoon Dr. Salunkhe ki jagah le liya hai ....

Freddy :- Arre nahi nahi Dr. Taarika ..... itna khatarnaak mat sochiye ... Agar aap Forensic head ban gayi toh Dr. Salunkhe ka kya hoga ??
aur bina Dr. Salunkhe toh yeh lab,lab nahi lagega !!! Chaliye kuch aur sochiye !!!!

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