Mother in law vs. Daughter in law

ok ok ok. i know we all see enough of this in dramas and stuff but i want to know really what people think about this issue without the whole side taking because since i am a daughter in law i will say that they are always right or vice versa. I am not married so i am unbiased(sorta) .

Mother in Law's view- They raise their sons from the day they were born to the day they married. They love their sons and take care of them. They decide what they'll wear, what they'll eat, who they'll see and what they'll do. They make all the decisions about their lives and then one day this woman comes who just married ur son and has done nothing for him while u have been raising him ur whole life and she wants to control everything of his.She believes she has complete right on him and views the things u always used to do for ur son syuch as cook him dinner or tell him what to do as interference. Should a woman really be expected to give up her son she loves and raised because of this new woman in his life.

Daughter-in-Law- She has given up her whole family to go live with a man who she marries and gives all of herself to, heart body and mind. Since she has left everyone behind so should teh man he should focus completely on their life together then on anything else. Since she has given up everything for him he should be willing to do the same he should listen to her only and their life shouldn't be interfered in. A husband and wife should be each others priority because they are in a relationship for life and they should listen to each other rather than other people.
Let me know who u think is right?

all'ill say is that there is no smoke without a fire...

well, after marriage, a man is supported by his wife, and after marriage, u leave yur old life and start yur new one, so if the wife just bez a little over-protective for her husband, there's nothing wrong wid it, besides it'll give the mother-in-law a break

Well this certainly is a sticky area. As Vishesh said both are right in their places. However, Vishesh I know all mother wants their child to get married and they keep on telling them I am tired of taking care etc. but when you really get married and when she see some girl taking care of you she may feel insecure that your love for her is being shared. Which to me is very normal. MIL are very "possessive" about their son. That's the main reason creating rift between this relashionship. DIL are also very possessive for their husband and they sometime cannot see their MIL dominating their life's decisions.

My MIL is very sweet and she really takes care of me like her daughter, but still sometime she tells me my husband has changed after marriage etc. and that probably you should cook hot food everyday 'coz its healthy and that you should not have date with ur girl friends for movie living ur 2 year old with your husband as its hard for him to take care of her yes, his "own" child and Yes I really get annoyed and disappointed with all these things 'coz our generation think that husband and wife are both responsible for their child and if I take care of her lunch, dinner, snack, milk, bedtime he can atleast watch her for couple hrs once in a while. But then I think she is not telling it all this to ME but she always want to see her "son" happy and same boy that she has seen all her life.

So I guess these small issues are going to be there for couple years and then probably both accept the reality that they both love this same individual and they will have to find out way to live happily. 'coz when we say adjustments are part of marriage these all things are included.

Edited by bgdesai - 27 December 2005 at 6:15am

well....
i think they r both right in their own places-u can't expect a mother 2 completely give up on a person whom she's given birth 2...
similarly,a wife is alo imp-after all-she has left her family and all and come....so i think the husband(or the son) must strike a balance b/w the 2...he shud b able 2 keep both happy and work out things in such a way so as dissolve any disputes/differences