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||Abhi Nikki Writing Challenge 2|| (Page 67)

pra19 Senior Member
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Posted: 12 June 2012 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
Hello,
 
Looks like I missed this dead place tooo ... Another YAWN...Anyway if anyone's interested , I am resuming my abandoned FF.
 
Here is the link for the new part


Edited by pra19 - 12 June 2012 at 10:07pm

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Khushboo_AN

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Posted: 12 June 2012 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Hey guys

I have updated two parts of my FF

Summer Memories Last forever


Part 7

Part 8
pra19 Senior Member
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Posted: 16 August 2012 at 9:10am | IP Logged

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ATfanAbhiNikiLuverwow123Khushboo_ANcherry_an

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Posted: 16 August 2012 at 11:50am | IP Logged
Oh LOOK! Someone dug up this place from the grave! And it's ALIVEEE!!!! *terrified face like those in horror movies*

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pra19cherry_an

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Posted: 17 August 2012 at 5:05am | IP Logged
Pra, that was beautiful but I like Abhi part poem more. If u did it in odd 10 mins then u r marvellous.

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pra19cherry_an

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Posted: 17 August 2012 at 9:23am | IP Logged
*ahem*

So I read it. And I noticed one thing: Sheena has liked it. O_O

Anyway. They're good. But I agree with Shale, that Abhi's poem is better. It has a more mature tone to it. Approve

I like the raw tone to it.That blatant, hurtful honesty with which he states it. Seems like something Abhi would do. Of if you had posted only this poem instead of both together, things would have been so much more fun to interpret! ^_^ Reading it at first, what I thought was - and excuse my sadism - that Nikki had left, or passed away, and he was saying this to someone who loved him, later, and whom he wanted to love. There's a rather desperate tone in his voice. It seems like he wants to tear off his past and throw it away, yet at the same time pitifully unable to do so.
I like how he basically states in a round-about way that she will get only hurt from him...for he can never reciprocate for what he will be getting from her. It's just so- blunt. Good good. Me likes.

And honestly, Nikki's poem isn't as good as Abhi's, but if it is the product of 10 minutes' brainstorming, good on you. You should brainstorm more often.

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pra19AbhiNikiLuvercherry_an

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Posted: 21 August 2012 at 1:15am | IP Logged

pra Hug

* applauds..*
i mean you are marvelous..Big smile
you truely have captured the essence  of both these characters..and their relation..

i love how you potrayed inner trauma of abhi..Smile
that he wants to move on but some threads of his past,still holding him and kept him connected wid his first love..
 pulling him away from loving any one.. even if he wants to..                                                                  he is helpless..
he wants to love nikki  but thats not possible.. and that exact thing he is telling nikki
 coz he trusted her and knew that she  would understand him..

 

My fav para of abhis version is

Be no more than that beautiful dream that brightens my dark night
For this little brightness is all I can live with
I am too far gone away to come any closer to you
This here is where I stop and you move on
There are so many things I can only wish
And if only I could give you what I wish I could

this is so so beautiful..he confessed her that she is the reason behind this small happiness peace wid which he is living..
and that its enough for lifetime..
 best thing is abhi's brutal honesty.. he never wana hurt her feelings but dont wana keep her in dark.. he cant lie  to her ever.. even if its bitter truth..still he will share.. only wid nikki..

your poem (abhis part) reminds me of one of my fav song  *sometiemes when we touch*
specially these lines..
 
 
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie!!!

beautiful lyrics and so true for your this part..Smile *got tears in my eyes*

 

and nikkis part is equally sweet..
i mean thats the spirit of (abhi's) nikki pehlwaan..she did the exact thing in dmg too..
made him fall for her.. even if he never wanted to.. but he was helpless in front of her charm.. her care.. and love she showerd on him(sometimes) invisibly..
 

most favorite paraz (nikkis version)..


She might have been your first love
But don't let her be your last
Her love might have been precious
But my love too is worth your precious heart
So there don't just walk away from me

i mean love the depth of this para.. nikki telling him that she wont take her (his 1st love) place,
 infact she dosent want to..
because  she wil make her own special diffrnt place in his heart..

Give me a chance to be by your side
And then you will realize what you are to me
Let us walk hand in  hand for a day
How well I entertwine in your life you will see
Oh! Don't just walk away from me
No one deserves to be alone
Neither you nor me
Give me the sign that I mean something to you
Let me in your world and come into my world
So there don't just walk away from me

love the way she tries to make him understand things and  assures him that everything will be just perfct..
all he has to do is just to give her one chance..to prove what he means to her..
that she will give all that  she has, to this relation... only thing she expects him to do is not
 to go away..from her..
he can take just one step towards her and she would take all remaining 99 to come near him..

 

love nikkis innocence.. ..and honest attempt to get her love..

 
 
 
lovely thought pra.. just got goozbumps all over my body..
 i love both abhi's n nikki's versions.. dot on ekdum!and if you have written it in mere 10 minuts then you are  truly  genius and should write more often..
hats off to you... Big smile

and its going with the theme too..Embarrassed
great one pra..Star

 

love it to the core..Heart
ragards

-cherry Embarrassed

Edited by cherry_an - 21 August 2012 at 1:18am

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pra19

pra19 Senior Member
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Posts: 365

Posted: 24 August 2012 at 1:56am | IP Logged
Ah ! A light drizzle in this heavily dought infested area .
 
@Shale and @Khush , thanks . You know , when I had started out to write or rather type  , it was just supposed to be N's POV , but then I kind of did not find the theme of this challenge reflecting from it , so A's POV was added as a last minute addition . And maybe  that is the reason , I like N's part more , I find that better written , because that was what I had originally set out to write Smile. And yes , A's part is the angst ridden one because he is the one living through all that pain and N was supposed to be herself , showing him that he need not be so tough on himself and all that.
 
And Khush , Sheena keeps Like-ing stuff now and then  . Its your comment that kind of made me O_OSmile (BTW , I had to google the meaning of "O_O" emoticon :D )
 


Edited by pra19 - 24 August 2012 at 1:57am

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Khushboo_ANcherry_an

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