Firstly, I love Panchi and Sid! I know so many of you out there may differ becuase of the fact that Abhiya don't get screen space and Panchi's annoying and Sid's.. whatever it may be. That doesn't change the way i feel about these two. I think the both of them are such cute characters and this one's Panchi-Sid through and through. It's really long, bear with me.
"Panchi.. Panchi? Panchi Dobrial?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the intercom. The person on the other end cleared his voice and said, "Come into my office."
I leaned back into my chair and growled. My boss was such a royal pain.Why girls went out with him was still my million-dollar question. Couldn't they sense that he was a total prick?
Sid had always been, and always will be, a pervert. That I had learnt from our first meeting. Undone shirt, smirking face.. such a turn-off..--- Wait. Why do I even give a shit? It's not like I'm turned on by him otherwise. I wouldn't be surprised if his first word was "one-night stand". I bet he learned to wink and run his hand through his hair, perfecting a sexy little smirk before the first day of preschool. With his wind-swept black hair and intriguing bad-boy persona, he was such a charmer.
But I knew.. what kind of an asshole he truly was. He had no regard for women. God knows how many of them he'd cheated on.
And that brought my thoughts back to where exactly I didn't want it to be.
I.. I.. didn't love him anymore. I couldn't. I shouldn't. But I felt such a horrible sense of loss. It was painful. When you see the person; the love of your life; walk away from you. Irony, I chuckled. How had I been so blind? I can't believe he had the gall to cheat on me. I felt so broken, so lost without him. He had made me his slave, used me, broken my heart into tiny little pieces. And what's worse? I still missed him. Not him, but his love. That feeling you get when you know someone loves you.. I see it now, with Piya, Misha, Kabir, Abhay, Angad, Tracker...Everyone. Everyone had someone. I had? Well, nobody.
Sure, my family had been with me through this rough patch, and I loved them. But that wasn't the same kind of love. It didn't hurt, it didn't punish. It didn't make me want to cry and run away from it. It wasn't decietful. Yesterday, when I saw that girl's heart break because of Sid I was disgusted with her, but I knew exactly how it felt. To be decieved like that.
I wanted to kill him, all men like him.
I sighed, I was alone, inside.
And most of all, I hated Danish. Not because he hadn't loved me. But because he had taken away my right to love.
"Panchi! PANCHI DOBRIAL!"
I got up from my chair in fright and looked at the inter-com again.
Sid said "Where the hell are you?! It's been two minutes now!"
Much to my suprise, I snapped out of my reverie and ran towards his office.
Oh well, time to deal with Satan's spawn.
I walked into his office and gave him a dirty look. He was sitting by his chair, the first button of his shirt open, staring at a chocolate donut.
"Want?" he offered.
"No." I said rudely but my stomach begged to differ. I just didn't want to chew something which My boss, Mr.My-face-is-a-bacterial-waste-landSid had.
He looked at me, his famous smirk gracing his handsome face and slowly started smiling.
"I have some work for you."
I nodded, finally.
He was about to begin when some girl barged into the office and screamed, "SID! I will kill you!? Where were you last night?"
Her low-cut dress and trashy make-up made her look like a hooker. I turned towards him and questioned him.
I was angry. I finally had some work and some shitty girlfriend of his had to show up and ruin it!
He looked at her for a moment and then darted his eyes towards me.
"With her." He said and his little dirty fingers pointed towards me.
"WHAT?!" I said as the girl gave me a filthy look. "Nooo ma'am, you're mistaken." I said. "I was not with this scum-bag!"
He looked at me, grinned and said, "Aw, baby. It's okay. No need to feel shy.."
"You're so full of shit," I screamed, shoving him.
"That's not what you said last night," he dead-panned.
The girl followed our every move and then gave us a dirty look. She walked up, adjusted her dress and then came a resounding slap.
I cringed and look at the reddish mark on Sid's face. He looked stunned as the girl said, "bas***d" and left.
I stifled the urge to laugh at him and when I looked up he still looked bewildered. He regained his composure, gave me a wink and turned towards his desk.
Now, I was pissed off. A girl had just screamed at him, he had accused me! And he had the guts to wink? The douche-bag.
"HOW DARE YOU? How dare you say that you slept with me? I wouldn't come near you even if you were the last man to walk the earth!" I said. "She was screaming at you damn it! Intense screams! Dont you feel--"
"You'd know about intense screams, considering you did spend the night with me." He smiled at me, unnervingly, managing yet again to get me angry. "Right, Ms.Efficient?"
The nerve. He had the gall to carry on this shit?
I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster and was about to slap him when he caught my hand and pulled me towards him.
My hands lay splayed on his chest and he slowly leaned forward and sniffed my hair, "Hazelnut." He remarked. It was sweet agony, the feel of his hands on mine, his low seductive voice holding me captive.
I tried to get out of his grasp, the physical contact was making me forget my senses. Shit, I shouldn't be touching this guy. There were high possibilities of me getting AIDS after that!
I shoved him and straightened my shirt and glared at him, "Dont. Touch. Me." I said, enunciating my words. I was so angry I could barely talk. I wish I could just slap his face again and again.
"Panchi." He said, soflty. That made me look up and I looked at him angrily.
"Listen, that girl was a fling two weeks ago! She didn't get the memo that I'm just one-night kinda guy. I had to make her go away and that lie was the only way. She thought I was going to marry her and all that bullshit! No way man!" He looked frazzled and confused. "She meant nothing to me! I just used her, I'll admit it. I didn't mean it okay..--"
"Mean it?" I growled.
And once again, my senses pulled me back to Danish. How he said the very same things, did the very same things. Betrayed me. I meant nothing to him as well. I was nothing to anyone. I sounded so desperate.
"Mean it? How could you do this to her Sid?! How could you?!" And much to my dismay, I found tears welling up in my eyes and I wondered, who was I angry with here? Myself, for loving Danish? Danish for betraying me? Or Sid.. For being a heartless piece of shit?
"Wait." He said. He looked at me, quizically and said, "I thought you were angry with me cause I told her you were my girlfriend.--"
"No, you asshole." I cut him off. I mustered up my voice, fighting back my tears. I couldn't think straight. My mind was screaming Danish Danish.. My heart was telling me I didn't deserve love. And my brain was telling me to slap the shit out of this guy.
"I-- You're a heartless piece of shit. You don't deserve all these women. You don't deserve love." With that, I walked back-wards, the tears streaming down my face freely as Sid's emotions went from anger to confusion.
When a guy like Sid, who was such commitment-phobiac had women loving him. Why is it that I, who had always loved Danish, didn't have him love me back?
I turned away from Sid and stood by door, trying to compose myself. I felt like such a fool, for making myself seem weak in front of this guy.
"Panchi.." He said, gently. I felt him move and he stood right behind me.
"Panchi.. please.." That's the first request I had ever heard from him. And my mind obeyed his silent order and I turned around.
I looked into his black, sparkling eyes and saw an emotion in it I couldn't decipher. I didn't want his pity. For him to feel sorry for me. I tried to turn away but he held both my shoulders and just kept looking into my eyes. His touch sent shivers up my body and I wanted to run away from him.
"Why?" I said, helplessly. "Do you want to see me like this Sid? Do you enjoy this? Seeing women cry? Well, look on! Cause, I'm crying. I'm not heartless or emotionless, like you are.." I was ranting as tears kept falling. "I'm--"
He gently placed his hand on my lips. It silenced me as I looked at him. My eyes reflected my loathing for the man in front of me. His thumb grazed my cheek and wiped away a tear and I my eyes shut with the pleasure and pain of the feeling.
I opened my eyes to look at him, questioning me.
"Who did this to you?"
By now, he knew as well, that I wasn't crying because of him. He looked concerned at my outburst. He just kept wiping away my tears, which were still falling as my hands rest on his chest. He cupped both my cheeks and asked me again, "Who?"
I couldn't. I wouldn't answer the question even if I wanted to, so badly to tell someone, anyone how I was feeling. I looked away from his questioning gaze and drew invisible circles with my hands on his shirt. He tipped my chin up and looked deeply into my eyes and, "You don't deserve this, Panchi."
I didn't know what to say to him. I just looked at him and he, at me. The concern and care I saw in his eyes made me for the first time, feel something for this man. It wasn't that I liked him. I didn't even know what I was feeling.
I gently brought one of my hands up and touched the pink mark on his cheek becuase of the being slapped. I could hear his sharp intake of breath at that as I gently placed my hand on that mark.
I was losing control and I knew it. "Sid." I said, softly. He looked at me and said, "Who?" I replied "It was Da--"
Beep beep beep beep beep!
The phone snapped us out of our trance as I got out of his arms and left his cabin. I missed the warmth that had enveloped me minutes ago. I could now hear him talk to whoever it was on the phone. He sounded normal, undisturbed almost. I here, was shivering at merely his voice, his touch was electric. I sat down on my chair and slapped my self. He was a play-boy. I shouldn't be... I can't take this risk again.
I looked at the door of his cabin and looked away. I bit my lip, so confused.
I had felt something there. Between us. And I found myself liking it. Too much for my liking.
That god-damn phone. I could kill that insurance woman right now. I sat down and ran my hands through my hair. What the hell was that?! For the first time, I found myself feeling something when a woman broke down in front of me. Why? I covered my face with my palms. Why did I feel this way? So frazzled with our contact?
I admit, I was shocked when she cried. I didn't know why, I felt the urge to wrap my arms around her and make her stop.
Shit shit shit.
This was all wrong! I shouldn't be feeling this way about a woman, especially Panchi Dobrial. Who hated me.
And until seconds ago, I thought I felt the same way about her.
I'd never felt that turned on my any woman's touch. Panchi was an enigma. She was so intriguing. Although I thought in the beginning, she would sleep with me, she didn't. I had been hooked onto her, hoping she would.
For the first time, I wanted to know more about a woman than her body. I wanted to know Panchi.
I looked out of the cabin's shutters to see her face. She was biting her lip and doing some work, looking frazzled.
Did she feel something? Anything?